A Ring of Wings
by Terelex
Summary: Max and the Flock are transported into the book The Lord of the Rings when an experiment goes wrong... or did it? I know it sounds really wierd but hey, why not? Rated T just in case.
1. Experiments Gone Wrong

**UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE _OR _LORD OF THE RINGS!**

**Well, this is my first story, so sorry if it sucks.**

**Max POV**

I hadn't meant to cause such destruction breaking out, but I guess it was a plus. Stupid whitecoats had tried to keep us strapped in with _velcrow. _Morons. They created us, shouldn't they know how strong we were?

There was one downside to what happened. One huge one. Some chemicals flew through the air as I unstrapped Angel and Gazzy, landing on a book. There was an explosion, and everything went blank.

I woke up and I knew I wasn't in the School anymore. I couldn't smell any chemicals or any type of pollution at all, which was weird because even deep in the heart of the forest you can usually pick up traces of gasoline and stuff. But this was a forest, a normal one as far as I could tell in the dark, and it was completely clean. I sat up, my whole body sore, and looked around. The Flock and I were situated on a bed of moss. I was the only one awake, but Nudge and Fang were stirring. I stepped over and shook them to egg on progress in the waking up department. As they clambered to their feet, moaning and rubbing limbs, I stepped over to wake up Gazzy but froze with horror as I realized something was wrong.

"Where's Angel?" I did a 360, pulling the Gasman up with me. "Does anybody see Angel?"

"Oh no!" said Nudge, trying to shake Iggy awake. "What could've happened to her? Is she still in the School? Because I don't think we are. I mean, unless they're trying to trick us. That could be true. But, like, what if she's hurt? Or lost? Or - !"

Iggy cut her off, slapping his hand over her mouth and groggily standing up as well.

"Okay," I took a deep breath. Calm down. Get a grip. Think. I looked around. No hint that Angel had ever been here. I sniffed the air and caught a wiff of something avian. It could have been a big bird but I wasn't so sure. "Fan out. Fang, go north. Gazzy and Iggy, south. Nudge, you take Total and go east," I'd just remembered Total existed, which seems stupid in hindsight. How do you forget a talking dog? "I'll go west. Go for about a mile, eyes peeled and stuff. After a mile on foot try the air for another mile or two, then circle back here, unless you find anything in which case you get back here double time. If anyone's not back in an hour, we'll come looking. Got it?"

The Flock nodded, and I said curtly, "Good. Let's move."

We spread out across the forest at steady jogs. My nose inspected the scent of every leaf, every feather. After my internal navigation system told me I'd gone about a mile, I climbed up a few branches until I found a gap in the canopy of trees, and then I jumped. You heard me, jumped. And no, I'm not some sort of suicidal maniac. My wings – YES, wings – snapped out and I flapped furiously once or twice until I managed to steady myself. Then I flew upward, pulling my wings in as tightly as I could without dropping like a rock and burst out of the woods.

In the sky, I let a feeling of comfort and relief wash over me. I was out of the cramped, small spaces of the woods and in the sky, my own personal highway that went _everywhere. _The feeling didn't last for long, though. In moments the stress was back. Angel. It was the only thought in my mind. I swooped forward, not going superspeed, taking everything in.

Not much later I came to a dirt road. I caught sight of Fang to my left, a dot in the sky, hovering above the road. He stopped moving for a moment, and then flew upwards until he was lost in the clouds. _What? _

Then I heard it. Hooves. There were people coming. I counted five before I pulled upwards quickly. I haven't hung around humans that much but I tend to guess they aren't used to seeing avian-human-hybrids flapping around. I waited until they passed below me, then darted out of the clouds in the direction of the meeting point. Fang joined me.

"Anything?" I asked him. He shook his head, his mouth a grim slash.

We landed in the clearing after exactly one hour, and we were last. The rest of the Flock were waiting, cross-legged on the ground (well, everyone except Total) glumly.

"No luck?" I guessed. They nodded. "Fang and I found a road up north of here. If Angel's anywhere near here, she might have found it, and it would be the first route to chose."

We had a sort of thing going on. If we got separated, we met up at the nearest cave or populated area. Why a cave? Don't ask.

"Ok guys, let's fly over there and follow the road for a while until I come up with somthing else," I said. Everyone nodded, looking worried and doubtful. I didn't blame them.

_Hey Voice, you in there? I could use a good pointer right about now, _I said to my Voice. Yup, I've got a Voice in my head that tells me what to do sometimes. Sounds like heaven, huh? I bet you could use a good Voice to help you with that homework. Unfortunately, the Voice tends to ignore my questions, and when it answers it answers in riddles. So of course, I got no reply.

We flew up into the sky, Fang carrying Total. The dog has wings, too (which we have to hide under a little doggy jacket when we go out in public), but he can't go more than ten feet before crash-landing.

It wasn't long before we found the dirt road again and started following it.

_Angel, _I thought. _Where are you?_


	2. You Don't Tell Me What To Do

**Max POV**

You can imagine how surprised I was to get a reply. I would have jumped, but I was already flying so that was a slight impossibility.

_Hey, Max, _said Angel the creepy mind reader/controller/thought sender in my head. _Keep going the way you're going. I'm in a way cool place!_

_ Uh… ok, then, _I thought back. _Are you OK? Where is said cool place? Where have you been?_

_ Later, _said Angel. _It's hard transmitting thoughts over a long distance._

_ Ok, then, I guess. Hold tight, sweetie, we're coming._

"Hey, guys!" I yelled. "Good news! I know where Angel is!"

"What? Where?" The Gasman shouted back.

"Um… up ahead. Just keep flying this way," I said uncertainly.

Before long, the road was swallowed up by the woods and it disappeared. We kept flying in the direction it had been heading, until something stopped us dead in our… well, I can't really say 'tracks', but you know what I mean.

There was an inhuman screech from down below, and several shouts and yells. We spared a moment to listen – Angel seemed OK for now, and as much as I was anxious to get back to her, I was curious as to what was going on. A minute or so later, there were hurried hoof beats and a white horse with two riders burst out of the thick woods into the sparser, see-through-able ones. In seconds they were pursued by more, black horses with hooded and cloaked riders. They looked kinda like dementors… you know, from Harry Potter?

Hey, just because I'm a mutant bird kid who can count the amount of civilized people I've met on one hand (I'm not including the Flock here, of course. We're anything but civilized) doesn't mean I can't have read about the most popular book of all time.

"What the…?" Fang muttered from above me.

"That's weird sounding," said BlindPants McFee, AKA Iggy. "How weird does it look?"

"Very," Gazzy informed him.

"Look," Nudge said thoughtfully. "They're going the same way we are!"

"Maybe they're going to the same place," Fang frowned.

"I vote we follow them," Total announced. "I mean, they're people. Maybe they know what's going on."

"Fine," I said. "Just as long as they keep going that direction. If they head off in a different direction, Angel is priority number uno."

They kept going in the same direction at the painfully slow pace of a horse. You're probably thinking, 'what? Horses aren't slow!' but for us, 90 MPH is a comfortable speed that we can keep up for a couple hours if need be. Then there's me, and I can go over 250 MPH when I want to. Pretty cool, huh?

We dropped lower, figuring that the only people in the vicinity were too busy having a horse chase to notice.

Suddenly I could smell blood. The iron in it is very strong, and if you have a sense of smell like us Avian Americans it's pretty easy to pick out. Long objects in the hands of almost every person (there were two on one horse and one was long-object-less) glinted in the grey dawn sunlight. Swords. What kind of person uses a sword? A caveman? I'm more familiar with the type of weapon that spews bullets, seeing as I've been shot on more than one occasion.

The white horse in the front was steadily being caught up to, and I smelled trouble. Figuratively, of course; you can't _actually _smell trouble. I made up my mind instantly. I knew it was a mistake, of course. Last time I'd jumped into a fight for an underdog I didn't know, I'd been shot and two people learned about my wings. Then again, I later learned that those people were my mom and half sister, so it wasn't really all that bad.

_No, Max. This is a bad idea, _said the Voice. _Go find Angel and hide somewhere._

_ You're not the boss of me, _I hissed back. _And I don't hide, remember? I run… or, well, fly for my life across the country, but I don't hide._

"Stay here," I said to Fang. "I'm gonna check this out."

I didn't give him a chance to protest before I swooped down, landing a little ahead of the herd of horses, tucked my wings in, and stepped into their view.

"Hey," I said. "Do you mind holding your horses for a sec? I'm insanely curious as to what's going on here."


	3. On Second Thought, PLEASE Don't Kiss Me

**Here's chapter three! Thanks to all who've read so far – and thanks for my ONE review. I would really like more, you know. Well, I'll shut up now and let you get on with reading.**

**MAX POV**

The white horse swerved, kicking up dirt and avoiding me.

"Hey, that's not very nice!" I called after its riders, wiping mud off my face. "You were supposed to _stop!"_

A second later, though, I learned that the WHR (white horse rider) had actually been quite considerate, seeing as one of the BHRs (black horse rider) decided instead to plow right past me, sword outstretched, in an attempt to slice my head off. Luckily for me, my super-reflexes allowed me the time to duck, but I saw some hair float to the ground. I spun around and made a loser sign on my forehead.

"Missed me, missed me, now you've gotta kiss me!" I teased. But there were more, swinging at me. Aw, crud.

I darted away, running in the direction of the WHR. I figured, hey, he/she didn't try to decapitate me. Seems like the best bet for help, right?

I flew a few feet off the ground where no one could see me until I caught up to the WHR and started running alongside him/her. Or him _and _her, actually. A woman with ears as pointy as Total's was supporting a guy – he looked, like, twenty something but was about a foot shorter than Angel – who looked about ready to kick the can. His mouth, eyes, and nose were tinged with green.

"Um, hey," I began, not sure what to say. "Uh, you need any help?" Because, you know, the golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Maybe if I helped them, they'd help us.

But then again, probably not. My life isn't that simple. I got no reply.

"Come on, did you grow up in a cage? Don't you know how to talk?" There you go, folks, the most hypocritical statement anyone has ever thought of. "I'm offering to _help you_, which isn't something I do often. And trust me, I'm a good helper."

The woman glanced at me but didn't otherwise acknowledge my presence. I was falling behind quickly – I was faster than a normal human on foot, but not _that _fast.

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll find someone else to tell me what the heck is going on." I stopped in my tracks, letting the WHR and BHRs fly by me. When they'd disappeared around a bend, I took off.

"Well, that was a bust," I said when I rejoined my Flock. Nudge and Gazzy looked crestfallen while Fang glared at me and Iggy cocked his head, still trying to figure out what was going on on the surface.

"Lame butts," Total grumbled.

We continued on flying in the same direction, faster now, so the horses were behind. Eventually we lost sight of them and I felt something stir in my mind. Angel? I quickly dropped any of the mind barriers I instinctively had up.

_You're getting close, Max, _said Angel. _Hurry up. I miss you._

_ Are we still on the right track? _I felt a little twinge, and I knew Angel was seeing what I was seeing.

_I think so. There's a little town thing in the woods – I bet it's pretty well camouflaged from the air, though, _Angel guessed. _Wait. See that river? It's across that river!_

_ Thanks honey. We'll get there._

"People! Apparently Angel's in a little town across this river," I relayed Angel's message. Everybody let out sighs of relief. We crossed the river going full speed (well, not me. No one could keep up) and searched for a town. Angel was right. The pale coloring of all the architecture hid it among the trees. Gaps in the forest and statues were the only prominent signs of civilization. But all the color tricks in the world didn't hide the bright sky blue shirt bobbing up and down, worn by my baby.

We banked and landed just on the edge of the town, which was deserted, and walked in to where we'd seen Angel. She ran forward and jumped into my arms, and I hugged her tightly.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded.

"A little bruised," she admitted. "But its nothing."

I heard movement behind us and spun around. There was a very tall, pointy-eared man standing in front of me, his big eyes blank, his mouth heavy with a frown, his brow furrowed. Overall, he looked pretty confused. Signs of mind control from you-know-who.

"This is my friend, Max. Don't worry, he's alright. I made sure he didn't tell," she smiled brightly. "His name is Elrond!"


	4. How To Make Up Excuses On The Spot

**This one's kinda long. Or at least, compared to the other ones. R & R, please!**

**Max POV**

Huh? Where had I heard that name before? It was like I'd dreamed it, or read it somewhere and I can't remember where. I frowned.

"Honey, remember what I told you about mind control?" I said. At the words 'mind control', the Elrond guy straightened a little and blinked, like he'd spaced out and was just coming out of it.

"Forget she said that," Angel ordered him. "And yeah, you said don't do it. But… I was scared."

She squeezed my hand and leaned against me, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again," I told her, my free hand on my hip.

"Fine," she pouted.

"So what happened?" Iggy asked. "I mean, after you got here."

"Well, I woke up here, and that guy was… well, he saw my wings. So I made him forget. Then I tried to find Max, and… well, yeah," Angel shrugged.

"Where is here?" the Gasman wondered. "It looks like something from a movie."

"I don't know," Angel admitted. "It's called… Riverdale or something, I think."

"Ok," I said. "It's time you take your whammy off this poor guy."

Ange pouted and looked at me with pleading eyes, but I shook my head.

"Fine," she stuck out her lower lip and suddenly this Elrond guy was fully animated, looking around with a very confused expression on his face.

"Sorry 'bout that," I told him. "It's this thing she does. The Bambi Eyes. One look and your willpower will completely crumble. It's so _cute _though, don't you think?"

"I…" he began, but I cut him off. If I could confuse him, maybe he'd forget.

"You wouldn't believe how many times she's manipulated me with the same trick! _Let's go to the beach, Max! Can I have ice cream, Max?" _I smiled. "She's a smart cookie."

I ruffled Angel's hair. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Who are you?" queried Elrond. "You are not elfin. You are human, which means you shouldn't be able to be here. You would have been spotted before you had come a league from this place."

Yeah, we're just sneaky like that.

"I'm Max, and these are my friends, or siblings, or whatever. Oh, and the dog," I said, nudging Total in the side before he could protest and shooting him a look that said, don't-you-dare-talk-or-I'll-have-dog-for-dinner-tonight. "I have a couple questions to ask you, though - "

"No, I have a place to be. You had better come along. I have questions for you, as well," he glared at me in what I think he thought to be a menacing way. I shrugged and motioned for the Flock to follow me as I followed him. Generally I wouldn't, but I wanted to know what the heck was going on, and I'd felt enough eyes boring into me from windows and stuff around the place we'd been talking to know that a scene _wasn't _the best idea.

He told us to wait in a room in a big hallway. How had we missed all this from the air? Geez, the buildings blended into the forest as well as Fang did against, well, anything. You know, cos' of the whole invisible thing that happens whenever he stands still. We did so for a while, just sitting there, twiddling our thumbs, and breathing through our mouths whenever the Gasman cut the cheese. After a few minutes we saw the WHRs (white horse riders, remember?) being rushed in by a couple more pointy eared people (without the horse, of course). The short one was being carried and I swear he looked dead.

They ran down the hallway and through a door, leaving a smell of dead things behind. And trust me when I say I know what dead things smell like. I grew up in a cage surrounded by experiments with life expectancies shorter than a fly's.

"I wonder what happened." Angel whispered. I wrapped my arm around her.

"Me, too," I admitted.

It was a long time before we saw anyone else. A blonde pointy-eared guy strutted in and sat across from us.

"My Lord has requested that I question you, as he is busy healing the shire dweller," he sniffed, not looking very happy.

"Your Lord. Huh. Funny," I said.

"You do not insult the great Elrond of Rivendell!" protested the pointy-eared guy.

"First of all, I wasn't insulting him. I was pondering the stupidity of calling anyone 'My Lord' anymore. And secondly, I can insult whoever I want thank you very much," I folded my arms and the rest of the Flock adopted defiant expressions. Well, except Fang, of course. The pointy-eared guy looked sour, but he ignored me and continued on to the questions.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Max, and this is my Flo – I mean, family. They would be, in order of age, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, The Gasman, and Angel," I answered.

"Where do you come from?"

"We don't really live in one place. We're, like, nomads."

"How did you manage to enter Rivendell? Our defenses are tight."

"We walked."

"That is not possible."

"Hey, we're sitting right here, aren't we?"

"Someone must have helped you get around the guards."

"Nope, sorry. I guess we're just sneaky. Oh, and small. Don't forget small, like kids. Because, you know, we _are _kids."

The lame interrogation went on not much different for what seemed like hours, when the door opened again and five more people walked in: three of the short people, a pointy-eared guy, and a regular albeit dirty/bloody/sweaty guy. Ha, dirty. Look who's talking. I myself am the queen of all people dirty, bloody, and sweaty. Nudge jumped to her feet, interrupting our little question answering session. Thank god.

"Look, Max! It's a guy!" she squeeled. "Like, a normal guy! He's not, like, really short and he doesn't have pointy ears! Just like us!" Yeah, just like us. Right. I bet he's just your average mutant bird person. "I'm thinking, maybe, since he's probably, like, normal, maybe it'll be easier to talk to him! Maybe he doesn't worship this Elrond dude and maybe he doesn't talk like someone from ancient Europe."

I'm sure she would have continued but Iggy moaned and elbowed her in the ribs. "I swear, if I hear one more word…"

The regular looking guy looked at her with a strange curiosity, but only for a second. A heartbeat later he was back to hurrying down the hallway.


	5. I'm Not a Boy!

**Hello, readers! I'm happier with this chapter then I was with the others, even though it was hard to write… Max seems more in character.**

** Disclaimer: I don't own MR or LOTR… they belong to James Patterson and JRR Tolkein. Meh.**

** REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! This story has over 40 hits and a very sad amount of reviews. Thanks to the person who **_**did, **_**however.**

** Aaaaanyways, moving on. Here's chapter 5. Bon Appetit!**

**Max POV**

Despite the interruption, the pointy-eared guy shot off another question. Ok, that's it. Enough answering on my part.

"Look," I snarled, standing up and curling my fingers into fists. "You've just learned all the important things about us, and I still don't know squat. It's time for _you _to answer some questions, pal."

"I will not permit you to tell me what to do," said the pointy-eared guy.

"Oh yeah?" I took a step forward and subtly fell into a fighting stance, ready to beat the crap out of this guy. There was no one else in the hall except for the people who'd walked past us before, and they were closing the door to that room or whatever. "Where are we? Who are you? _What _are you? Why did Itex send us here? _Did _they send us here? How do we get home? Why did they make you? Who's in charge around here? And most importantly, _why do you talk like someone from the early eighteenth century?"_

Pointy-eared guy looked a little shocked. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it.

"You can answer the questions in order. Take your time," I sat down again, giving him a nasty look. He cleared his throat.

"You are in Rivendell, an elf haven," he began, but I interrupted.

"_Elf? _You've got to be kidding me!" I said in disbelief. He glared.

"I am Delaren **(sorry, I just made up a Lord-of-the-Rings-ish sounding name)**, and I walk these halls as a humble servant to my Lord Elrond. I am an elf, and I have never heard of this Itex of which you speak. I do not know your home, or else perhaps I could tell you how to get back. Lord Elrond is ruler of Rivendell, and I do not understand what the matter is with how I speak is."

"He's telling the truth," Angel piped in.

"So you're saying he's an… elf?" said Iggy in disbelief. Angel nodded solemnly.

"That's ridiculous," Gazzy put in.

"There's no such thing as elves," Fang said.

"Thank you, Mister Obvious," I rolled my eyes at him. He just looked at me.

"So does that mean all the pointy-eared people are elves?" Nudge asked. Angel paused for a moment, looking at Delaren, and then nodded. "That is so cool! It's like a movie! Come to think of it, it's like that one movie… what's it called? I think it was a book, too. Oh yeah, that's it! The Lord of the Rings!"

I gasped and looked at Fang. She was right. This was remarkable similar. No wonder I recognized Elrond's name. We'd watched the movie back when we lived in a house. That would mean the short people were hobbits, and the dead looking one was Frodo! He'd gotten stabbed by something… right, the things that looked like dementors. Nazgul. That's it. I could tell Fang was thinking the same thing. The rest of the Flock looked at our expressions (well, not Iggy, but Gazzy whispered something into his ear and it all seemed to make sense to him) and it dawned on them, too.

"I'm right?" Nudge's jaw dropped. For once, she couldn't think of what to say. Total filled in the blank by saying: "OMG."

"Did the beast just speak?" Delaren looked at Total suspiciously.

"Of course not, dogs can't talk!" Total growled at me and I shot him a look. "That's ridiculous!"

"I heard it speak, I swear on - " he began.

"You're crazy. Maybe it was Gazzy. He's, like, the best voice-thrower I know," not that I knew any other voice throwers. Gazzy blushed appropriately. Delaren looked doubtful but let it go.

_Okay, Voice, now would be a great time to jump in! _I thought.

_You're right about where you are, _said the Voice.

_You've got to be kidding me._

_ This is all a test, Maximum. A game. And how do you finish a game?_

_ How do _I _finish a game, personally? Generally I win._

_ Exactly, Max._

_ So what, we just play along with the whole thing? Like what happens in the story? And we get out?_

_ You're a smart girl. Figure it out._

_ I'm going to take that as a yes._

For the next few days we hung out under guard. After I filled the Flock in on the Voice's little appearance, we were all dying to meet the characters. I mean, who wouldn't be? It was probably the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me, and trust me, I've seen some pretty weird things in my life time. Unfortunately we weren't allowed more company then a bunch of surly, no-necked, I-could-kick-their-butts-to-timbuktoo-in-two-seconds guards and the occasional fascinated elf kid running up to pet Total. Apparently it would stay like that until we spilled the beans as to why and how we were in their 'fair city'.

"We sneaked," I kept telling them. "Because Angel got lost and ended up here, and we didn't want to get caught bringing her home"

Then they were like, 'How did Angel get here?' and Angel played dumb while we said we had no idea. At first I think they were going to let us go, but when I couldn't come up with a legit place for out parents to live there were some doubts. According to Delaren the only reason we weren't locked up in cells is because we were children. Oh yeah, and Nudge, Angel and I are girls. I would have strangled him for that last part if Fang hadn't practically held me by my sweatshirt hood.

We were still stuck as prisoners or whatever when Frodo woke up, which sucked because it got the Gasman on a Lord of the Rings quoting spree. By the time we got our first visitor he was driving us all crazy.

"I am Aragorn, and I have come to see if I may learn anything from you," he said darkly.

"You mean question us for about two hours, get no information, and leave in a hurry?" I raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least you're marginally more intimidating than the last guy." At this Delaren glared at me, said something in what I'd come to call Elf Latin to the guards, and left in a huff.

"I hope they do not cause you too much trouble," Delaren snarled as he left, his cape swirling around the corner. I saw one of the guard's mouths twitch upwards nervously.

"What are your names?" Aragorn asked.

"You came in here and you don't know our _names _yet?" Sheesh. We'd told them about ten million times already.

"I've heard them, but I would like to hear it from their owners," he insisted. Ok, then. Why not? I sighed.

"I'm Max," I said robotically.

"Fang," said Fang, barely looking up.

"Iggy," sighed Iggy. "And before you ask, I'm blind."

"I'm Nudge. I totally love your boots. They're like pirate boots! Hey, Max, can I be a pirate for Halloween? That would be so - " I cut her off.

"Gazzy."

"Angel." Angel finished angelically.

"You're lying," Aragorn decided after a few moments thought.

"Am not," I said. "Unless you mean… well, Gazzy's name is actually The Gasman. Why? Well, hang out with us too long and unfortunately you'll find out. Not that I like you much for keeping us locked up, but I could never wish a fate as terrible as smelling your first Gasman creation on anyone."

The Gasman grinned proudly and Nudge elbowed him, rolling her eyes and giggling.

"Oh," I continued. "And my full name is Maximum Ride."

"Son of…?" Aragorn prompted.

"You're joking, right? It's bad enough you don't know my name, but you don't know my _gender_?" I hissed. "I'm a girl, genius. And my mom's name is Dr. Martinez. My dad is Satan, AKA Jeb Batchelder."

"You are female? But you lead with such ease…" he said thoughtfully. Then he turned to Fang. "You seem to be older. Why do you not lead these children?"

"I'm not older," Fang grunted.

Yep. Now people thought Fang was older than me. I'm tall, but I really wouldn't mind a few more inches. Anything to keep these boys from towering over me.

Aragorn stared. He looked at each one of us in turn. Then he stood up and walked out of the room.

A few days later was the big council thing. We were put outside of the place and seated. I think they thought they'd put us far enough away that we couldn't hear. Thanks to Avian hearing power, however, we could. Not that it did me much good. I was spacing out after 'from whence it came.'

At one point however, we were prodded and dragged into the actual council place.

" – and we have evidence that the threat is large. Not long ago, we caught spies, no doubt from Mordor itself, lurking within our borders. How they got through we can, only guess."

At that point we were shoved into the sunlight. I heard a collective murmur of interest and distress. I spun around to face the Elrond guy.

"You're joking, right? You don't have a sliver of proof that we're… _spies," _I hissed.

"You were found inside Rivendell - "

"Yeah, chasing our six year old sister. Six is not exactly the age when you have the maturity to know that wandering into strange towns is bad," I heard Angel huff and felt her cross her arms.

"I'm _seven_," she insisted.

" – a feat which is impossible without detection. Unless, of course, you came from the air. But even then, a being as large as a dragon or other such flying creature could easily be spotted. The only explanation is magic," Elrond said.

Or, you know, we could be mutant bird kids. It's possible.

_You have to be trusted, Max. You have to be part of the quest. You have to complete it, or you'll never get home._

_ Gee, thanks. But how exactly do I do that? _I replied coldly.

_Rules are meant to be broken, even the ones you make._

What? I looked around. What did that mean? Then I caught sight of Angel looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Fine… just a little," I sighed.

"What?" Fang looked at me as Angel's face lit up.

"What's going on?" one of the elves said nervously. Legolas. Ha! I recognized him.

"No… don't go too far, though," I reminded her. I was touchy about this whole mind control thing. Maybe it was for nothing, I don't know. It was just that ever since the Voice I had started to realize just how private one's mind should be.

"Don't worry, Max," Angel smiled. "Now, everybody. We're not spies. We're friends! And we want to go on this… quest thing too!"


	6. My Flock and Me, Sleeping in a Tree

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday! I was busy watching Buffy and then my mom's friend came over and we went to dinner and I didn't get a chance to finish writing up this chapter. To make it up to ya' this one's about 3k longer than the last and I think it's pretty good. There's some Max humor and Max goes slightly rabid raccoon-ish trying to deal with the sexist beliefs of the time or book or whatever. Remember, REVIEW! Thanks so much to the TWO that have, but more would be great *winkwinknudgenudge*.**

**Happy reading!**

** 3****rd**** Person POV**

Only one of the people in the council area was not affected by the little girl's mind altering… spell, or whatever it was. However, as she transmitted the command to everyone but the other children, he'd had a chance to look into her mind for himself. What he saw shocked him. Pain and suffering. Running and fighting. But he saw no intention to hurt anyone… except these odd people… Erasers? Flyboys? M-Geeks? Gozan? He'd never heard of any of them, and none were present here, that was for sure. There was one more thing, tucked in the corner of her mind. It was surrounded by a weak barrier, as if the girl unconsciously kept it hidden at all times. All he caught sight of was a feather.

For now, thought Gandalf, he'd play along. He let himself adopt a confused expression along with everyone else before shaking it off as the others did. The children seemed to be fooled by his charade.

This would be interesting.

**Max POV**

We listened from our seats on the floor as people talked, the ring was brought up, people argued, an axe shattered, people talked, and then suddenly everyone was on their feet yelling what I think were supposed to be dirty words at each other. Finally, I couldn't take it. I stood up.

"Hey, quiet!" I yelled. No response. "SHUT UP!" This time everyone fell silent. "Well, now that I have your attention… you're all supposed to be super wise, adult, leaders, am I right? So start acting like that! Honestly. Let's come up with a solution in a nice, democratic way. Like, who's most qualified? Who isn't part of this rivalry thing you people have going on?"

"Who are you to tell us what to do, girl?" said a guy, glaring at me. Boromir.

"Apparently, the most mature person here," I said coolly. "And the only one who doesn't want to slit the throats of all the other species' right now. Maybe. For now."

We had an epic stare off, which I won, and everyone started to shuffle back to their seats.

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I crossed my arms and sat down. There was a moment of silence, and then Frodo stood up.

"I will take it," he said quietly.

"Speak up," said Gimli gruffly.

"I will take it," Frodo repeated, more loudly now. Ok, so perfecto so far.

"Then you have my sword," said Aragorn.

"And my bow," and blablabla. After Gimli pledged his support, The Flock stood up.

"Well, we're kinda weaponless, but we're in," I said. This was met with a sort of confused consent, and I knew it was Angel working her charms. Boromir jumped in as well. Then the other hobbits. Yippee.

What happened next was the whole fellowship thing. Then we stayed in Rivendell for a couple more days, and were off. The first night was… interesting. Spending the night in the woods with twelve other guys, only three of which I actually really knew was kind of weird. Luckily the trees were tall and thick so after a wholesome meal of bread, cheese, and some sort of bird (while we inhaled the rest of the chow, the Flock and I only pecked at the bird. Haha, get it? Pecked? At the bird? Heh… nevermind) we were looking forward to a good night's rest roosting in a tree. First there were chores, of course. Unpack. Get more firewood. The pile we'd collected earlier could run out a few hours before dawn.

"Nudge, Iggy, Fang and Angel, you guys look for some good branches to sleep in," I ordered. "Gazzy, Total and I will go get some more wood."

The Flock nodded, splitting into their groups. The tree branches were high, and I didn't plan on revealing our wings, but if you shimmied up the trunk a few feet then jumped you could catch the lowest branch, and they were pretty thick from there.

"I believe we have enough wood," Legolas observed.

"In my experience, you can never be too careful," I told him as Gazzy, Total and I disappeared into the darkness.

Me and Gazzy gathered an armful each of wood, while Total sniffed around, calling out whenever he found a decent log. Before long we were back at the camp. I looked up and saw Fang, Nudge, Iggy, and Angel dangling their legs from tree branches ten to fifteen feet up.

"I really don't think you should be up there," Merry was calling up. "You could fall!"

"They'll be fine," I said, dropping my wood in the pile. "We've had worse sleeping arrangements."

I received many a doubtful look, but ignored them.

"Dibs on first watch!" Iggy yelled.

"_What? _Why?" Nudge snorted.

"I hate waking up," Iggy shrugged.

"It may not be the best idea to have a blind boy taking watch," Boromir sniffed. Man, I didn't like that guy.

"He can handle it," I said.

"Boromir is right," Aragorn said.

"Perhaps someone with different… abilities would be more suitable to the job," Gandalf suggested.

"Hey Ig, where's the nearest predator?" I asked impatiently. Then I glared at the doubters and hissed: "Check this out."

"I think most are scared away by the fire… there's a raccoon maybe thirty yards away, if that counts… and a bobcat or a lynx or something, but it's pretty far from camp," Iggy said after a few seconds.

"Iggy is the best watchdog there is," I assured the Fellowship.

"Hey!" Total stood on his hind legs and attempted to cross his 'arms'. Everyone not in the Flock stared.

"Oh, right. There's something I forgot to mention," I sighed. "The dog talks. It's annoying as h e double toothpick but you get used to it."

"_Hey!" _Total growled again. "Don't call me 'the dog'. I have a name, you know!"

"It's ok, Total," Angel smiled from up above. "I love you." Total stuck out his tongue and smiled a gesture of what I've learned to be affection, and jumped up in the air, right into Angel's arms, twelve feet up.

"Oh yeah, and he can jump _really _high," I added. "Weird, huh?"

My explanation was met with silence.

"Well, g'night, then?" I said. "Iggy, you get down here. It's not like a good view is going to make your job any easier."

As Iggy slid down the trunk I climbed it, my fingers finding small holds in the thick bark. Fang motioned to a branch to my right.

"That one'll hold you and Total," he said.

"Right. Thanks," So, doggy is dumped on me. Excellent. I jumped to the branch, catching Total as he followed me. I glanced around, seeing the rest of my Flock falling asleep, and shut my eyes.

I had the last watch, so I was up first. Obviously. As the sun peeked up over the horizon, I stood up.

"Okay, everybody. Wake up and smell the nonexistent coffee!" I yelled up to the trees. "Fang! Move a limb, please." If anyone saw him suddenly appear out of thin air, there would be lots to explain.

"I'll make breakfast," I volunteered as I was suddenly surrounded by tired looking people. Instantly, five of them looked very awake.

"Um, can you do my hair Max?" Nudge jumped in front of me with a guilty smile.

"There is this cool recipe I've been dying to try out. Maybe you can cook tomorrow," Iggy invented.

"I need your help coming by some materials for my next… creation," Gazzy grinned mischievously.

"Celeste's halo fell off again. Can you help me stick it back on?" Angel showed me her bear.

"Are you sure you're Max? You sound just like Max II," Fang said.

"Ow! I have a thorn in my paw! Guess you'll have to help me get it out," Total wagged his tail and faked a limp.

"Why do you care about the quality of the food," I scoffed at the dog. "You'll eat anything!"

"Not toxic waste," Iggy snorted.

"Why, you - !"

The only changes in routine were: A) I realized Gandalf was 'in charge' and Aragorn was 'second in command', so I backed down slightly and only bossed the Flock around. Oh, and contributed my ideas in very animated ways. B) As a whole we decided to leave the cooking to Iggy. C) After the third or so night of us sleeping in trees without falling, the objections ceased. D) I failed to control my pissed-off-ness at the men for frequently making sexist comments and may have possibly asked Gazzy to fart in everyone's sleeping bags (excluding the Flock, of course) as an alternative to punching them in the face. Hey, it's almost as bad if not worse. E) Everyone began to get used to the whole talking dog thing.

-x-

I was freezing my butt off and my legs were beginning to feel like jelly. Snow seeped through my boots and melted, leaving my feet wet and cold. I'd already given my windbreaker to Nudge, who had Total in her jacket and was complaining loudly about how cold his paws were, in an attempt to make her motor mouth stall for a minute or two. I had the Gasman perched on my shoulders, which normally wouldn't be an issue because he's really light and I'm really strong, but that with my million pound backpack trekking in deep snow on the rugged mountain landscape for hours proved to be slightly difficult. Fang was having the same problem, albeit he still had his windbreaker and was carrying Angel.

While the rest of us were cold and miserable, trekking in mostly silence (except Nudge, of course), Iggy was walking with a bounce in his step, pointing every little detail out. Iggy, though blind, has developed the ability to see things when the background is all white. It's pretty cool.

"Hey, check out that beast rock formation," he grinned, pointing at a large boulder.

"Mhmm," I said absently. "That's neat."

"Wow, that's a cool waterfall," he reached out a hand to let some mist settle on his skin.

"Awesome," Fang sighed.

"Hey, look at that - !" Iggy began, but Nudge cut him off.

"Iggy! My ears are bleeding!" she said.

"Hey, that's my line!" Iggy retorted.

"How 'bout you both are quiet?" Gazzy suggested.

"Shut up!" Iggy and Nudge said in unison.

There were no trees in the mountains, or no tall ones, anyways, so we slept in little caves instead. Caves are another living arrangement us mutant bird kids are oddly fond of. A small fire burned in the middle of our current cave. Iggy had first watch. Again. Still, I couldn't fall asleep.

"Wanna go for a fly?" I whispered to Fang. He opened his eyes and I could tell he hadn't been asleep, either.

"Sure," he stood up, creeping towards the entrance.

"We're going out," I muttered in Iggy's ear. "Don't let anyone freak out if we're still gone during the changing of the watch."

Iggy nodded and Fang and I stole out into the white night. Snowflakes fell lazily from the sky as I leaped off the nearest convenient cliff, unfurling my wings. It felt good to fly. Now that we were surrounded by people oblivious to our abilities, I didn't get to do so much. My wings had begun to become cramped.

"This is great," Fang mumbled. I smiled and nodded my agreement. We circled the area a few times until the freezing breeze and snow got the better of us. We trooped back into the cave, wings folded against our backs with happy looks on our faces.

"Have fun?" Boromir glared at me from in front of the fire. I forgot it was his turn to watch. "You're up next, girl. I hope you're not too tired after your little walk. We would not want ourselves to be guarded by an idle child, would we? If you ask me, a group of children should not be entrusted to such a tremendous task as this quest."

"Well, no one asked you, did they?" I sneered. "So be a good little boy and make sure we don't wake up chained to the wall in a dungeon somewhere, and I'll do the same."

"Why you impertinent little - ," he broke off. "A girl does not speak to her better in that way!"

"Better?!" I almost shrieked. The Flock, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, and Frodo were all instantly awake. "You are not my _better. _That would imply that I respond to different levels of command, and I sure as hell _don't. _I'm the _leader. _Oh, and if _Fang, _or _Iggy, _our _Pippin _mouthed off to you, I bet you wouldn't be _half _as ticked, you sexist pig!"

At this point, Iggy and Gazzy had burst out laughing and even Fang was grinning. Angel was frowning and Nudge looked defiant.

"Max looks pretty pissed," Total observed. "This is not going to end well."

"What is going on?" Gandalf boomed.

"This disrespectful child - !" Boromir began, but Nudge cut him off.

"Boromir said something sexist, and we don't take sexist crap from anyone, right, Max?" Nudge said.

"That's right, sweetie," I said through gritted teeth. Then I turned and sat down where I had been sleeping, trying not to explode more than I already had. "Wake me up for my watch."

With that, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to fall asleep.


	7. I'm Getting Tired of So Many Rocks

**Augh! Sorry I haven't updated! I've been pretty busy. Anywho, sorry about the beginning chunk of this chapter. It probably should have gone in the last one, but hey, better late than never, right?**

** THANKYOUSOMUCH to those who have reviewed and all that good stuff! Keep it comin', folks!**

** Max POV**

We made camp in a round, rocky, field-like thingamajig that somewhat resembled Stonehenge. Sam and Iggy were having a heated argument about cooking and Boromir was teaching Merry and Pippin some epic sword fighting skills. I looked at the knives I had, belted on my hips. I'd figured that since this was a medieval-ish time period, the Flock should have medieval-ish weapons. Well, actually, I didn't. Elrond did, and 'bestowed upon us fine elfish weapons'. Yeah, sure, whatever, Mr. Ye Olde Speek. I banned anything sharper than a baseball bat for Angel, Gazzy, and Iggy, so just to annoy me they found a bunch of huge sticks to fight with that of course I ended up carrying.

I had chosen two knives. It seemed most natural to me – knives are short, right? So they seemed just like extensions of my arms. I'd practiced a little and I was pretty good, just as long as I imagined they were very sharp fists and I fought like I normally would. Fang had chosen a sword, which he was also decent with. Nudge surprised me the most, though. She had tried out a crossbow and bam! On her first try she was about two centimeters from a bull's eye. At first we thought it was beginners luck, but when she repeatedly hit a feathers-breadth away from the very center of the target we declared her a prodigy.

Clang! I couldn't get used to the sound of metal on metal. I was more used to the sound of solid metal balls flying through the air so fast you can barely see them and slamming into your flesh. Or, you know, my fist connecting with someone's face.

Gandalf and Gimli were arguing about routes to take; something about Moria. I seemed to remember that that part of the movie involved a troll and someone almost dying. I'm not sure, though. I hadn't seen the movie in forever and I have much more important things on my mind like, for example, 'how are we going to get food tomorrow?' or 'are we going to be _alive _tomorrow?'.

"One two three four I declare a thumb war," Nudge exclaimed.

"Five six seven eight, you're the thumb I really hate!" Gazzy finished. Their thumbs twisted furiously, then their arms, and then they rolled off the large boulder they were perched on. There was a loud thump as they hit the ground.

"Ow," they said.

"What's that?" Fang pointed at a dark shape moving in the sky. I listened for mechanical whirring or the pounding of huge wings which would mean bad news for us.

"Nothing… it's just a wisp of cloud," Gimli said.

"It's moving fast, and against the wind," Boromir pointed out.

"Crebain from Dunland!" Legolas yelled suddenly. Okay, am I missing something? What are Crebain? I tried to remember back to my movie and came up with: spies. I hate spies. Especially when they can fly. Especially _especially _when they look exactly like me.

"Hide!" Aragorn ordered. We hid. When the crow things were gone, we ran.

-x-

The wind howled, ripping at me. My clothes and hair stood almost completely horizontal as snow slammed into my face, stinging my skin.

Well, this sucks, I thought, gritting my teeth against the onslaught of cold white knife-like flakes of snow.

_Failed trials do not determine the outcome of the whole, _said the Voice.

_Whatever, _was my reply.

"This is ridiculous," I shouted. Fang, Iggy and I were plowing through the deep snow, creating a path for the kids.

"It's ridiculously ridiculous!" Nudge piped in.

"Yeah, ridiculous things are generally ridiculous," Total pointed out.

"There's a fell voice in the air," Leogolas said thoughtfully.

"It's Saruman!" Gandalf roared. Saru-who? Another bad guy? Sheesh. There was a loud crack, like thunder, and rock fell past us, barely missing our little pathway. I grabbed Angel and Gazzy, pinning them against the rock face.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain," Aragorn realized. "Gandalf! We must go back!"

"No!" Gandalf insisted.

"What kind of nimrod are you!" I yelled at him. "I don't really want to be killed by giant rocks, thank you very much."

Just after I said it I looked up to see at least four feet of snow crashing down on us.

"Crap," I growled, yanking the others to the 'safety' of the cliff face. As I pushed, though, I was thrown backward and I felt the snow hit me, slamming me into the ground. I couldn't breathe. Frantically, I clawed upwards through the snow, only to feel a hand grasp my wrist. Aragorn heaved me up and out.

"Thanks," I gasped.

"We must get off the mountain! Make for the gap of Rohan and take the West road to my city!" Boromir suggested.

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard," Aragorn objected.

"We cannot pass over the mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria!" Gimli put in.

"I'm all for choice number one," I said.

"Let the ring bearer decide," Gandalf reasoned. _Ring bearer? _That made it sound like we were in some sort of wedding. "Frodo?"

"We will go through the mines," Frodo said in what I can only describe as a clear and loud mumble, if that makes any sense, which it probably doesn't.

"So be it," Gandalf grunted.

A couple days later we found ourselves in front of a blank stone wall surrounded by rocks, dead plants, and a lake. Fascinating, huh? Gandalf worked some of his magic mojo, though, and suddenly there was a door there, made out of smooth silver vein like lines. Gandalf muttered something, then said, "Speak friend and enter."

"What?" Gazzy cocked his head.

"What does it mean?" Frodo asked.

"Well, it's quite simple, really. If you are a friend you speak the password and you may enter," he shrugged and rattled off something in a different language. It didn't work. He came up with another. And another. And… well, I think you get it.

"Can't we just blow up the door?" Iggy looked at me and stuck out his upper lip and discreetly let the corner of some no doubt explosive device peek out from his pocket. How he looks at me when he's blind I'll never know.

"You're way too old for bambi eyes, Ig," I told him. He frowned.

"Hey Gasser, you're cute, you come try!" he called. Gazzy walked over from where he'd been talking with Merry and Pippen and tried to hit me with the power of cute. I shielded my eyes.

"No way, buddy," I crossed my arms. "You could hurt someone. Or, you know, kill someone."

"It would be very contained and safe!" Iggy said.

"I said no!" I growled, smiling a little.

"Fine," the Gasman grumbled, dragging his feet as he walked away. I heard splashes and watched as Merry, Pippin, and Angel tossed stones into the water. Not surprisingly, Angel's always went the farthest.

"Speak friend and enter?" Fang sat down beside me. "Any ideas?"

"We're not exactly PhDs in what goes on around here, and I seriously can't remember from the movie," I shrugged. "We watched it when Jeb was still living with us, and since then… well, you know."

"I get it," he put his arm around my shoulder as our brains strained to remember.

_Hey Voice, have you ever seen the Lord of the Rings? _I thought.

_Language is important, Maximum. It shapes worlds, _it said.

_Yeah, sure. That doesn't really help me out all that much given the current sucky situation._

_ One wrongly spelled word, falsely translated message, or badly punctuated sentence can send nations into wars._

_ Nations into… oh! I remember now! _I punched my palm lightly.

"Friend," I exclaimed, standing up. "That's the password."

"What?" Nudge frowned.

"I get it," Fang stood up, too. "It's not 'speak, friend, and enter', its 'speak the word friend and enter'.'

"Right," I nodded. "So what's the elf word for friend?"

"Mellon," Gandalf frowned. Just as he said it, the doors swung open with a crunching sound.

"Cool…" Gazzy grinned.

We grabbed our backpacks and walked in. The air smelled like dead stuff and it was pitch black. As Gimli fantasized about our future stay in the paradise of underground, I looked around. With my avian vision I could see better than the average Joe in the dark and what I saw was slightly sickening.

"Oh, god, ew," Nudge nudged a skeleton with her foot. Get it? Nudge nudged it? Ahahaha… never mind.

"This is no mine," Boromir breathed. "It's a tomb."

"Try being at eye level with these things!" Total prodded a skull with his paw and jumped into Angel's waiting arms. "Gross!"

"Oh no! No no no no no!" Gimli took a step back, horror washing over his face as Legolas knelt beside a dwarf skeleton, pulling an arrow out from between two ribs.

"Goblins," he hissed, snapping it in half. We drew our weapons, Angel, Gazzy, and Iggy scrambling to grab their 'clubs' from where I'd fastened them to my backpack.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan! We should never have come here!" Boromir yelled. Sheesh, who died and made you leader? Still, I had to agree.

"Move it!" I ordered. At that moment Frodo dropped to the ground, scrabbling at the dirt and screaming. Something had attatched itself to his ankle… a tentacle? It yanked him towards the lake and I caught a glimpse of a giant kraken-like _thing. _

"Whoa! That thing is badass!" Iggy cried.

"Hey, watch the language, buster. There are kids around!" I hit his shoulder lightly before sprinting forward, one knife out. Unsure what to do, I lunged and started hacking at the tentacle holding Frodo. The creature hissed and released him, dragging its wounded limb into the lake.

Suddenly about a zillion more tentacles burst out of the water, spraying me with water. Nudge was shooting with her mad crossbow skills while Aragorn, Boromir, Sam, Fang, and I started to slice at the new tentacles. In ten seconds flat, however, Frodo had been snatched up again. I groaned. Couldn't the guy stay out of trouble for one minute? I ran forward, Fang hot on my heels, only to feel a tentacle slam into my gut and send me flying. Suddenly I was being crushed by the long slimy things and who knows what else. I gasped for breath – yes, underwater. Us Avian Americans can _breathe underwater. _Pretty cool, huh? Then I kicked hard, sending the tentacles flying off of me and paddled to the surface. I rocketed through the water back to the shore, punching a tentacle aside just as it was about to slam into Fang.

"Into the mines!" Gandalf bellowed. You don't need to tell me twice. We sloshed through the water, diving through the door just in time to see it smashed by the creature thing and just like that we were trapped.

"Report!" I coughed, spitting out some water and dust.

"This is Iggy, checking in."

"Nudge here. I'm a-okay."

"Captain Terror is all systems go."

"The dog isn't dead, thanks."

"I'm all right, Max."

"I'm fine," was all Fang said. Okay, everyone is alive. Good.

Gandalf banged his staff on the ground and light erupted from the top and I could see more easily.

"We have now but one choice," he began ominously. "We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard… there are older and fouler things in the deep places of the earth than orcs."

_Well, that's just great. We are so screwed, _I thought.

We stumbled around in the dark for at least two days until Gandalf finally sighed and admitted we were lost. Well, actually, he said he had no memory of where we were, but I gathered that we had no freaking idea where we were supposed to be headed. With my bird kid sense of direction I was guessing east, but honestly, who knew?

We rested by some rocks. The Flock was practically jumping off the walls, what with our claustrophobia. In case you didn't know, mines generally don't have many openings to the air, which is where we're most comfortable. Merry, Pippin, and Gazzy were flopped down on a boulder complaining about how hungry they were. I fished a snickers bar out of my backpack and tossed it to the Gasman.

"This is the only portable food I have," I said. "Be nice, share, and eat slowly."

"Ve must destroy ze snickers bars!" the Gasman cackled in a perfect imitation of the hell beast white coat ter Borcht.

Gandalf seemed lost in thought for a while, but then he stood up and walked over to sit down next to me and Fang.

"I believe it may be prudent now to tell you that any funny business will not go unnoticed. I know you are not who you say," he said. Whaaat? Did that mean he knew about our two extra feathery body parts?

"What do you mean?" I said innocently.

"I know the youngest girl worked some magic on our minds to fool us into believing you are trustworthy and not spies of darkness," he paused. "I do not believe you are allied with Sauron, though whether you are a threat or not I am unsure."

"Oh, we're very threatening," I assured him, relieved that he seemed to have no clue about our wings. "To the bad guys, at least. We kick butt."

He studied me carefully and I put up precautionary mind blocks. I didn't _think _he could read my mind, but better safe than sorry.

He stood up and walked away, and became somewhat catatonic again.


	8. CRAP!

**I just want to let you all know that I'm not a complete dork remembering every single line in the LOTR movie. I've got the script bookmarked and have to check it about every two seconds. I just felt the need to tell you that.**

** Sorry I'm not updating as often. I have truckloads of homework for no apparent reason whatsoever. **

** Thank you to those who have reviewed! Especially the person who called me the future JK Rowling. That is so awesome.**

** Anyways, here's your not-so-daily dosage of MR LOTR crossover fanfiction.**

** Max POV**

"I like the bunny," I said, looking at the two pictures drawn in the dust of the floor. Nudge and Angel had asked me to judge their artistic talents with an impartial vote and I had no clue whose was whose.

"It's not a bunny," Nudge sniffed. "It's supposed to be Total."

"Looks more like an overgrown tortoise with bald baby chicken wings and devil horns," Total scoffed, swiping the image away with his tail.

"That's not very nice now is it, dog?" I flicked his ear.

"I have a name, thank you very much," said Total.

"What's yours, Angel?" I asked. "A bear?"

"Not just any bear," Angel finished tracing a halo into the dirt. "It's Celeste!"

"So you know what hers is?" Nudge sat up, dusting her clothes off and frowning. "I'm insulted!"

"Sorry, Nudge. It really did look like Total. I must have been looking from the wrong angle," I ruffled her hair.

"Okay, now _I'm _insulted," Total said. "I look nothing like that!"

"Ah! That's the way!" Gandalf said, emerging from a deep conversation with Frodo.

"He's remembered!" Merry jumped up, smiling.

"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down there," Gandalf laughed. "When in doubt, Meriadoc, follow your nose."

We took the stairs down the passage Gandalf pointed out two at a time until we came to a room. Well, room is an understatement. More like a giant cavern the size of multiple football fields. The ceiling was supported by giant columns that made the columns of Rome look like bendy straws in comparison.

"Aye Carumba," I breathed. **(Sorry if/that I spelled that wrong. Hehe.)**

"Behold! The great realm and dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf!" Gandalf shone his light a little brighter. In front of us I saw a big door made out of slightly decayed wood. Skeletons were strewn around it and arrows sprouted from every nook and cranny of the place. I covered Angel's eyes with my hand, even though she could still see it through our minds. She reached up and yanked it away, wide-eyed and looking slightly sick.

"Gimli!" Gandalf called as Gimli ran forward looking terrified. I jumped after him.

"No, no, no, no, no!" he moaned, dropping to his knees and sobbing.

"'Here lies Balin, son of Fudin, Lord of Moria'. So, he is dead than. It is as I feared," said Gandalf solemnly, reading the inscription on the tomb. I'm just gonna take a stab at this, but I'm pretty sure Gimli knew the guy.

Gandalf picked up a rotting book and started reading from it. It sounded like the diary of doom. He was interrupted suddenly by a loud clang. We spun around to see Pippin standing by a well, touching a skeleton. There was another clang, and a clunk.

"Well, crap," I sighed. "That can't be good."

"Fool of a Took!" Gandalf spat. "Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!"

I looked at him in surprise. He didn't look like the kind of guy who would blow up about something like that. If it were Fang or Iggy I would have, but just because I know they wouldn't take it personally. I don't know about Pippin, though, he looked ready to burst into tears.

My skepticism of the wizards leadership abilities were interrupted by the sound of a drum being pounded on. I drew the Gasman and Angel closer to me.

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam pointed at Frodo's sword, which he drew. It was glowing blue, which I remembered meant trouble.

"Orcs," Legolas confirmed.

"Get back! Stay close to Gandalf," Aragorn waved a hand at the hobbits and the Flock.

"Stay close to me," I ordered my merry band of mutants, stubbornly contradicting Aragorn. "Gazzy, Angel, Iggy, take your club things and stay away from pointy objects. Nudge, try and stay away from the action and pick off enemies from afar. Fang, you and I… well, you know what to do. If something happens, I seem to remember that well opening into a cavernous pit with lots of air space."

Aragorn and Boromir were wedging weapons between the door handles and holding them shut. Boromir seemed to catch sight of something and he turned on his heel.

"They've got a cave troll," he moaned. Right, this was the part with the troll and someone almost dying.

"I'm guessing it's not very bright," I called to my Flock. "Pretend it's a giant, ugly Eraser!"

"Eraser's are already ugly!" Nudge pointed out, smiling slightly. At that moment, the door exploded, sending fragments of wood flying everywhere and goblins or orcs or whatever spewed into the room. I immediately planted my foot on the chest of one and kicked, sending it flying through the air into a fellow evil creature burped up from the fiery torturous depths of Tartarus who accidentally skewered it.

"Nice one," said Fang, blocking a sword that sliced through the air towards his face. I pulled out a knife and spun around, burying it in something's neck. I checked up on each of the Flock every couple of seconds. Call me crazy, but a mob of pointy weapon wielding things tends to strike me as threat to smaller children.

Nudge was next to Legolas, firing arrow after accurately-hitting arrow, though admittedly much slower than him. Fang was hacking at whatever discolored limb came his way. The Gasman and Iggy had a matchbox and a long tube out. I screamed at them not to do whatever they were going to do unless they wanted me to kill them after fifteen tons of rock crushed us. Angel was hugging Celeste with one arm and had her stick/club thing over her shoulder, casually telling goblin after goblin to stab its teammate in the back. Literally. Total was next to her, nipping ankles every once in a while.

The troll was the real problem. The thing was huge, at least five times the size of an Eraser, and swinging around a spear and stabbing at everything that moved. I'd guessed right, not the brightest thing in the world. After we'd cleared out most of the goblins, I took a deep breath and jumped at the troll, sticking a knife into its shoulder. I may as well have ordered a single wasp to sting it for all the good a deep knife wound did.

_You were right in the comparison to Erasers, _the Voice said. _Just take Eraser fighting techniques to the extreme and you're sure to win._

Yeah, sure. I was strong, but this thing could probably pick up a car no biggie where as I could only tip one over if I really tried.

_Breathe, _ordered the Voice. I sucked in a breath just in time to feel the spear butt slam into me and throw me through the air. I hit the stone wall, and slid down, staggering as I landed on my feet and coughed, trying to refill my lungs.

"Ow," I wheezed. "You're so gonna get it, you big fat - !"

"Frodo!" Aragorn cried out, and I looked just in time to see the hobbit thrown through the air with the spear stuck in his gut. He slammed into the wall, and him being your average untrained mythical creature, seemed very much more effected by it than I had been. He was the guy who almost died, I knew, so I wasn't all that worried. A quick glance at Fang told me he was thinking along the same lines. Still, I plastered on a phony worried face and leaped down towards the troll again, this time with a new strategy in mind. I was vaguely aware of the hobbits going crazy, slashing and hitting every inch of skin visible. What would I do if the troll guy were a giant Eraser? Use my small size to my advantage. I jumped, twisting my arm around what could be called its neck and stabbed it in the throat. In a flash I ripped my knife out and dropped to the floor. The thing screamed and stumbled for a second before collapsing.

"Oh snap," I breathed, kneeling beside Frodo and screwing up my face to keep from laughing.

"Oh, no," Aragorn's eyes were wet as he looked at Frodo's limp body. I bit my tongue and discreetly prodded the undead hobbit with my thumb. He gasped, eyes flying open.

"I'm alright," he panted.

"He's alive!" Sam said, wide eyed.

"You should be dead! That spear would have skewered a wild boar," Aragorn said.

"Hobbit ke-bab, anyone?" said Fang.

"I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye," Gandalf said.

Frodo unbuttoned the top of his shirt to reveal what looked like a very shiny, very hard, very expensive tank top.

"Mithril!" Gandalf exclaimed. Say what? "You are full of surprises, Master Baggins!"

"What's mithril?" the Gasman asked.

"A treasure beyond comprehension that renders the wearer all but unkillable where it is worn," Aragorn explained.

Suddenly there was a pounding again, and I almost jumped.

"Crud," Fang and I said together.

"To the bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf ordered. Say again? Honestly, all these words were getting muddled in my poor noggin and giving me a headache.

We ran out the door, back into the big cavern we'd come in by, breath uneven. Even I was slightly winded. Running, fighting, and more running really take it out of a girl. Suddenly we were surrounded by tiny clicking noises, like claws against stone. I looked up. Goblins were pouring out from the ceiling. We skidded to a halt. I raised my fists as the others drew their weapons, ready to battle it out. The ceiling was high, and I was pretty sure we could wing it outta there, no problem if things got bad.

There was a distant roar and the goblins froze, then scuttled back up the pillars as quickly as they'd come down.

"What new devilry is this?" said Boromir.

"A Balrog, a demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond all of you," Gandalf whispered. Haha, wanna bet buster? He raised his voice to a yell. "Run! Quickly!"

We ran. I'd learned from experience that running away never seems to help, no matter how much good flying away does. And I knew this wasn't going to end well. We stumbled down some steps, the Flock leaping down entire flights and landing lightly on our feet. We caught a couple glimpses of the Balrog, which was a giant thing with ram horns and a flaming whip and sword.

"Lead them on," I heard Gandalf order Aragorn. "The bridge is near. Do as I say, swords are no use here."

_Him _lead us on? From what I'd heard, the guy spent most of his time hanging out in the forest alone for no reason whatsoever. I was guessing his leadership skills weren't on par compared to, say, me. I decided to grit my teeth and bear it, though, seeing as we were in an epic chase to the death _on foot. _I can't remember the last time I had one of those. Possibly never. I am mucho more comfortable in the air.

We crossed a narrow bridge, the Flock being the only ones jumping onto it and sprinting without a heartbeat's hesitation. There was a thump and the bridge cracked in half, sending us stumbling backwards. Legolas leaped across, then called for Gandalf to do the same. Soon everyone was across except Aragorn, Frodo, Nudge, and me. There was another thump and the chunk we stood on split away from the rest of the bridge even more, throwing us backwards. My wings were tingling, ready to be snapped out.

"Nudge!" I said, interlacing my fingers and holding my arms out in front of her. She nodded and took a running start before jumping up and stepping on my hands. I tossed her through the air, lending her momentum, and she hit the bridge on the other side, smashing into Fang. Aragorn, Frodo, and I threw our weight forward to make the gap smaller as the chunk we stood on swayed dangerously. It crashed into the other part of the bridge and we dived forward. I executed a quick roll on impact, and in an instant we were running again.

We ran some more until we were on another bridge. This one was longer, and I was panting as we sprinted across. As we reached the other side, the Balrog caught up to us. Gandalf jumped forward back onto the bridge, his sword and staff waving around in his hands.

"You cannot pass!" he boomed. The Balrog hesitated.

"Gandalf!" Frodo screamed.

"I am a servant of the sacred fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun!" Gandalf thundered. The Balrog stepped forward and stretched out its wings so far they touched each wall. God, I so wanted to be doing that right then. "Go back to the Shadow!" The sword sliced through the air, hitting Gandalf's with a ringing clang. It shattered into a million pieces. How's that for size doesn't matter?

_What have I told you? _Said the Voice.

_Yeah, yeah, whatever, _I rolled my eyes and Fang shot me an are-you-crazy-or-did-the-Voice-just-say-something-weird look.

"You shall not pass!" Gandalf continued. He slammed his weapons into the bridge. There was a sound like thunder, and the bridge shattered right under the Balrog's feet. The thing fell, shrieking into the pit. I felt butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. I knew what happened next. As the wizard turned, the whip lashed up, catching him around the ankle and sending him sprawling. He managed to grip the the bridge, but it looked like he was being pulled down or something.

"Gandalf!" Frodo screamed again.

"Fly, you fools!" Gandalf snarled, and then he let go.

"No!" Frodo moved to go forward, but Boromir stopped him, scooping him up and turning to run.

Well, you may be saying this to yourself: MAXIMUM RIDE, YOU ARE A MUTANT FREAK WITH SUPER STRENGTH WHO CAN FLY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LETTING THIS GUY FALL TO HIS DEATH, YOU MORON?!

Well hold your freaking horses people, I'm getting to that part. I darted forward, shooting Fang a meaningful glance. He made to follow me, more slowly.

_Maximum, you can't save him, _said the Voice.

_Can too, _I thought snidely.

_You can't change the general outcome of things. It could make everything go wrong._

I ignored it, and was just about to leap off the bridge when I felt a white hot pain split my head in half. Oh man, not _now. _I fell to my knees, clutching my skull. I heard someone cry out my name, but I could barely hear it over the sound of someone screaming – was it me? I couldn't tell. The last thing I thought before I was pitched headfirst into darkness was: _crap._

**Fang POV**

I reached out to grab Max's wrist as she fell forward off the cliff, screaming and moaning. I tried to suppress the panic building up in my chest as I heaved her upwards and slung her arm around my shoulder. It wasn't easy, by the way. She was writhing and squirming like a sugar high snake and deafening me with her screams. She kept trying to grab her head. I couldn't tell how conscious she was, if she was at all. I dragged her forward, slightly grateful when I felt Aragorn put her other arm around his shoulder. We ducked out of the mines into the blinding sunlight and collapsed onto the rocks, gasping.

Immediately, Max lay still and stopped moaning. I saw her eyes moving beneath her eyelids, her fingers curl into fists, and her teeth clench and I knew she was talking to the Voice. I held her hand and her eyes opened quickly. She sat bolt upright, her forehead smacking into mine. I fell backwards.

"Geez, Max, give me a concussion why don't you?" I sighed, trying not to smile in relief.

"Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark," Iggy snorted.

"Sorry, Fang," she rubbed her temples.

"I thought the brain a – I thought they stopped," Angel said, sitting down next to Max, who hugged her.

"Me too, honey. It was you-know-who, I think," Max shrugged, referring to the Voice.

"Stupid idiot," Gazzy wiped his nose and sniffled, dropping down on Max's other side. I shifted forward so my knees touched hers.

"Why didn't you save him, Max?" Nudge was sitting on a rock, trying to keep tears from leaking out. "I mean, you could have. Why didn't you?"

"I'm sorry, Nudge," Max whispered. I forgot that the younger kids hadn't seen the movie. We hadn't described it in great detail, either. "It's gonna be ok."

She stood up shakily, and I immediately was next to her. Gratefully, she leaned against me.

Around us, the hobbits were crying, except for Frodo who was just looking out at the sky. I wondered if he wished he could just fly away, leaving the world behind. Grimly, I almost smiled, knowing I could do exactly that.

"What happened to you?" Gimli looked at Max with a raised eyebrow, trying to hide a devastated look.

"Nuthin'," she grunted. When he looked doubtful, she added, "Headache. Bad one. Pounding migraine. Just hope it never happens to you."

"Legolas, get them up!" Aragorn ordered.

"Give them a moment, for pities sake!" Boromir's eyes were moist and sparkling. I'd never liked the guy, but looking at him sort of made me feel sorry for him.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs," Aragorn insisted. "We must reach the woods of Lothlorien. Come, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Fang get them up. On your feet, Sam."

Max didn't even object to the fact that Aragorn had told him to get the kids up instead of her. She just shakily rubbed Nudge's back and helped her to her feet while I held her steady. Iggy didn't look the least bit concerned and the Gasman tried and failed to mimic his facial expression. Angel had read our minds and stood up immediately with a bounce and skipped over to Aragorn.

_Don't look too cheery. They'll think you're some sort of insensitive freak, _I thought, hoping she was reading my mind.

_I am a freak, _she thought back.

_You know what I mean._


	9. In Which I Kick Butt

**Here is chapter nine! I liked writing this one. Max gets to beat someone up =) There's another POV change in here, so that makes it two times less pointless that I keep writing 'Max POV' even when it's completely obvious.**

** Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING… in my dreams. Nope, this stuff belongs to James Patterson and JRR Tolkien from the books Maximum Ride and the Lord of the Rings, respectively. SIGH.**

** Anyhow, REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! And if that was to subtle, **_**REVIEW!**_

** *clears throat* Thank you. Have fun!**

** Max POV**

"The stupid idiot told me I couldn't change the course of the story or whatever, then it hit me with a brain attack," I explained to my Flock. We'd intentionally lagged behind so we could talk safely. We were somewhere between Frodo and Sam, who were limping along at a snail's pace, and the rest who were basically jogging. "And right now, the guy is basically threatening me. That's why I'm talking so loud."

_I'm not threatening you, _said the Voice. _I am merely pointing out the many dangers your path holds._

_ Yeah, like being stuck in a dog cage and mercilessly experimented on? Seriously, Voice, I've seen pretty much everything. Kids with wings, being stuck inside a freaking book/movie and talking dogs cover about half of that._

"Someone else dies," said Fang quietly. "Really dies. That's the sort of thing you have to stop when you know that it's coming."

"There's no way the Voice can keep you guys from doing anything," I smiled wryly.

"What if the Voice is right?" Angel piped in. "I mean, what if we do change how it all ends up and we never get out?"

I hesitated. It was a possibility I'd considered, believe me. I'd mulled it over like I'd never mulled before. And I'd come to one conclusion.

"I'm Maximum Ride," I said. "I'm supposed to save _our _world, and that's way more complicated than one lousy quest that we could all do in a second if it weren't for… a few minor complications. I mean, it's not often saving the world comes with an instruction manual and this comes pretty close to. We can handle it. We were _designed _to handle it. How much damage could one guy not dying do, anyways? We can do anything, guys. _Anything. _Anything and everything."

_Excellent pep talk, Maximum, a perfect leader's speech, but don't say I didn't warn you._

_ Duly noted._

"Go team, whoop whoop," Total said sounding extremely bored.

"I'm truly inspired," droned Iggy. "That was beautiful."

"Be swift, children," Legolas called out behind him. I bit my tongue and clenched my fists, insulting him colorfully under my breath, but didn't act out. Instead, I beckoned to the flock to hurry up. A few steps later, we were next to them.

"You were saying?" I cleared my throat meaningfully.

"You move like the wind. If you kept up that pace, we would be much closer to our goal by now," he said.

"Yeah, sure, except there's the minor dilemma that you people walk at the swift speed of the legendary fabled sea slug," I rolled my eyes, itching to unfurl my wings, jump off a cliff and swoop outta there.

We half walked, half ran for hours until we came to the edge of a forest. I sighed in relief. Angel, Iggy, the Gasman, and Nudge had been complaining for at least half a day about how hungry they were, and I had nothing but an energy bar to give them. My own stomach was a hollow pit of nothingness, and Fang's consistent stomach-growling told me he was starving, too. We would both die before we complained, though.

"Hey!" I yelled. "We need to take a pit stop. The kids are killing me with incessant whining."

"A… pit stop?" said Aragorn.

"We need to take a break and eat something," Iggy snapped. "You're looking at six growing kids, and _Angel _needs three thousand calories a day to keep going. Think about us larger people. I'm freaking _famished._"

"Chillax, Ig," I elbowed him.

"Food," moaned Total, stumbling forward. "If I don't… no, never mind. Go on without me. Leave me to die. Save yourselves!"

"No prob," I said, leaving him sprawled in the dirt.

"Hey!" he objected. "I was just kidding!"

"These are the wood of Lothlorian. If good fortune is with us, we shall be able to rest soon," Aragorn said.

"How soon is soon?" Nudge asked. "Because soon can mean in, like, five minutes. Sometimes Max says soon but really it ends up to be an hour. When _Jeb _says soon it can turn out to be a month. So I guess it depends on the context. Or the person talking. What do you mean when you say soon? A half an hour? Or - ," Iggy clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Shut your trap," he said.

"Stay close, young ones! They say a great sorceress lives in these woods, an Elf-witch of terrible power," said Gimli menacingly. "All who look upon her fall under her spell and are never seen again."

"Quit that, you're spooking the kids," I said.

Angel spun around, looking at Frodo with a puzzled look on her face.

"What…?" she murmured as Sam nudged Frodo.

"Well, here's one dwarf they won't ensnare. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!" Gimli continued as I rolled my eyes. I actually did have the eyes of a hawk, and my ears weren't your average ears either. Suddenly, there was a bow, with a very sharp arrow, pointed at his face.

"Oh…" Gimli grumbled.

"The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark," said the elf holding the bow. I snorted.

"Oh, good one. You totally had that one coming, Gimli," I grinned. Aragorn and the elf guy chatted it up for a few minutes while Boromir lectured Frodo about dead people and the hobbits looked very depressed. Apparently Aragorn got through to Mr. Elf, because we were soon on our way to somewhere, following elf guy.

We came to a city, much bigger than Rivendell, with lots of spiraling staircases climbing up into the towering trees looking down over dizzying hights.

"My kind of town," I muttered into Fang's ear. He flashed me a rare, perfect smile and I felt my heart beat a little faster.

After scaling one of said staircases we found ourselves in front of two elves, a man and a woman.

Elf guy said some sort of greeting as we stood in front of them. I felt very puny, and I didn't like it at all.

"The enemy knows you have entered here. What hope at secrecy you had is now gone. Fifteen of you set out from Rivendell, and yet only fourteen stand here. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I must desire to speak with him."

Nudge shuffled her feet nervously.

"Dead," I said flatly. "Bit the dust."

"Kicked the can," Fang added.

"Snuffed it," said Iggy in an extremely fake British accent. Gazzy looked at him, looking like he wanted to scold him for his lack of skill in mimicking how people talk. Aragorn shot us a look very similar to my patented 'the Look'.

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the boarders of this land," said the elf lady sadly. "He has fallen into shadow."

"That's another way to put it."

"He was taken by both shadow and flame: a Balrog of Mordoth, for we went needlessly into Moria."

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose," said the elf lady. Purpose, huh? Why does everything have to be about purpose? Hasn't anyone heard of chance? Cosmic coincidence? Nope, I guess not. It's not like I wasn't made for a higher purpose like, for example, saving the world. "Do not let the great emptiness of Kahzad-Dun fill your heart, Gimli son of Gloin. For the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief."

"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost," the elf guy pointed out. At that moment, the elf lady looked at Boromir. There was a moment of silence, and then he turned away, tears gushing from his eyeballs. Angel cocked her head, looking confused.

"The Fellowship stands now on the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and all hope is lost."

Why that's an interesting analogy, miss. I didn't hear much of what else she said, because I felt something in my mind. Something that wasn't Angel breaking and entering to tell me something important; something unfamiliar. I put up my mind barriers and I felt something tug at them. Looking up, I saw elf lady giving me a hard look. I ground my teeth and glared in return.

_You're not getting in here, missy, _I thought. She gave in and looked away. I allowed myself a proud smile as I saw my family gritting their teeth and seething she moved on to each of the Flock members with zero luck. When she came to Angel they both looked away with an expression of shock on their faces.

_That was really weird, _Angel said. _It was like looking into a mirror. I saw my thoughts twice._

_ So she's a mind reader too, _I sighed inwardly.

_ I… guess, _Angel replied.

We stayed in a little clearing thing with a roof and actual beds. Unfortunately, they weren't real actual beds, just mats laid out on the ground with small pillows and thin blankets. Ah, well, better than nothing, I guess.

"What disrespect was that you spoke about Gandalf?" Boromir hissed out of the blue.

"Uh…"

"All you can do is be an arrogant fool, it seems! It was a mistake taking you children on a quest like this. We don't need you, and what use can three young _girls _be put to?" he said.

"Excuse me?" I snarled, jumping up. "I seem to remember this _young girl _taking out that troll along with very many goblins!"

"Pure luck, pure chance! In any real given situation other than that you would have been beaten to the dust for your foolhardiness. There is no way you would have survived that without running on pure luck," said Boromir, standing up as well.

"I don't get _beaten to the dust, _thank you very much. It's not on my agenda," I countered.

"Wench! You are nothing but a tiny woman, nothing! You cannot succeed in battle!"

Okay, that's it. I pulled back my arm and swung my fist forward so it connected with his nose. Blood squirted out.

"Max - !" Fang and Aragorn said at the same time.

"I _did _succeed in battle, you moron!"

"Why, you… attacking your fellow quest member?"

"Oh, so now you acknowledge the fact that we're part of this group. Convenient, seeing as I just punched you in the face."

"I acknowledge nothing! You can do _nothing! _That was just more luck!"

"Gee, I'm a pretty lucky person, huh?" I snapped. Then I planted one hand on his chest, the other on his shoulder, and slammed him to the ground. "Oops, look who just got beaten into the dust? My bad."

"Why you little - !"

"Stop it, you two. This is not helping," Aragorn shoved his way between us.

"Back off. This is between me and Mr. Sexist Pig," I elbowed him in the rib lightly.

"I am no pig, you fool of a girl," he said. I nudged him in the side kind of… hardly as he wiped blood from his nose

"You seem to be overusing the word fool, fool," I jeered. He grabbed for my ankle, pulling me down to the ground, too. I grunted as I landed and twisted, kicking him away.

"Max," Fang appeared next to me, pulling me to my feet. "Boromir's being an idiot, sure, but violence is only the answer 98% percent of the time, and now is not one of those percents."

"98%?" I raised my eyebrows. "What a convenient number. Exactly like the amount of – well, you-know-what in us."

"I just made it up on the top of my head. Funny, huh?" Fang said. Then he gave me a look that said: We can deal with this later. The guy's grieving, give him a break.

"Fine," I sighed. "Whatever. But one more sexist comment from you, Boromir, and I'll kick your ego-swelled ass from here to next Tuesday."

I flopped down next to Nudge in front of the crackling fire, glaring, my fists balled. After a half an hour or so, I cooled down enough to talk to people without acting like a complete witch, and the others seemed more relaxed, too. Funny the domino effect this mere puny _girl _has on people. I talked to Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and the hobbits with no problem, but stubbornly refused to say anything but insults to Boromir. We at the Flock, Inc. were trying to catch everybody up with the language of our time (or 'land' as they called it), and they kept asking questions about stuff we'd said before and they'd never understood.

"Who is this Chuck Norris of which you speak?" Legolas asked.

"How can you not know who Chuck Norris is?" Nudge gaped. "He's only, like, the butt-kickingest guy around. Besides Max and Fang, of course."

That's my girl.

"Why does Maximum sometimes talk to herself?"

"I don't talk to myself!" I frowned, crossing my arms. I talk to my _Voice. _There's a difference.

"She has an overactive conscience," Fang invented.

"Are you kidding me? Max doesn't have a conscience!" Iggy snorted.

"I do too!"

"What's a blog?" Sam asked.

"Oh… nothing. It's like a journal. Sort of. One that everyone can see."

"What does it mean when you say you have to 'split'?" said Merry.

"'Split' means leave, sort of quickly."

We had to make up lots of stuff about the modern things that we guessed they wouldn't understand. Finally they'd wiped out most of the slang dictionary and then some and we went to sleep. I woke up a few times to people walking around, but it was probably the best night of sleep I'd had in ages. We didn't have to keep watch, so no one was cranky in the morning, and it was _warmer _somehow, like the body heat of everybody in the city times fifteen made everything more comfortable.

**Frodo POV**

I woke up not long after I had fallen asleep to the sound of footsteps. As I opened my eyes, I saw Lady Galadriel, stepping lightly through the clearing we slept in. I stood up and followed her, breathing quickly. She paused and looked at me, then kept walking fluidly, each step barely making a noise or indent on the ground. We descended into a glade, the light greener even than in most places. In the center was a stone bowl.

"Will you look into the mirror?" said Galadriel.

"What will I see?"I expected that it would be more than my reflection.

"Even the wisest cannot tell, for the mirror shows many things," She picked up a pitcher and began filling from water spilling down the rocks. She turned and began to pour the water into the bowl. "Things that were, things that are, and even some things that have not yet come to pass."

I bit my lip and stepped up to the bowl, looking into it, fear crawling around my stomach. I saw the faces of my companions, looking sad and hopeless, turning away from me. Then the image changed. I saw the Green Dragon Inn from the Shire. Without warning, it burst into flame and I heard screams. I saw a line of Hobbits being forced forward, chained by the feet and whipped if they slowed down in the slightest. An image of the Eye of Sauron filled the rippling water. It whispered something and I leaned forward. Gulping, I tore myself away, clutching the ring. I landed with an _oof _on the soft grass.

_I know what you saw, for it is also in my mind, _Galadriel's voice echoed through my head as I shakily stood. _It is what will come to pass should you fail. The Fellowship breaking: It has already begun. He will try and take the Ring. You know of whom I speak. One by one, it will destroy them all._

_ If you ask it of me, I will give you the one Ring, _I thought, unsure of what to do. I put my hand out and uncurled my fingers, revealing the Ring.

"You offer it to me freely. I cannot deny that my heart has much desired this," Galadriel whispered. Then suddenly her hair was splayed around her and she wore a breastplate. Her clothes rippled and snapped as if in a wind. "In place of a Dark Lord, YOU SHALL HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK, BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR."

I shrank back, curling my fingers around the ring again. The change that had overcome Lady Galadriel faded as soon as it had come, and she looked tired.

"I have passed the test," she murmured. "I will diminish, go into the west, and remain Galadriel."

She turned away.

"I cannot do this alone," I objected. She turned back, smiling.

"You are a ring bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone. The weight of the world rests on your shoulders. Everything depends on your success."

I was about to argue, insisting that I was just a hobbit and there was nothing I could do, but Galadriel continued thoughtfully.

"There is one," she said. "One who knows what you go through. She has a powerful mind, but I have slipped past her defenses and learned somewhat of her own task."

"She? Her? Who is this?"

"You travel with her. That Maximum Ride girl. She knows from experience what you are feeling. She, too is burdened with an important task."

"What task?"

"She was born with one purpose: to save the world."

"Save the world? From what?"

"That I could not decipher. I believe I caught the name of a deer."

"A… deer?" Despite myself, I raised an eyebrow.

"Or a goat. You would not be wrong to speak to her. She may perhaps be the only one who can help you."

I nodded as she dismissed me, and stumbled back to where we were to sleep. I saw Max's eyes flutter open for a moment as I walked by. She shut them immediately, though, and rolled over. She was a skinny, young child. How could anyone expect her to save anything? Then again, who would expect me to save middle earth?

I fell asleep pondering just this.


	10. I've Been Shot Way Too Many Times

** Disclaimer : I don't own Maximum Ride, the Lord of the Rings, or Weird Al Yankovic (read the chapter to see what that's all about…).**

Hello everyone! I'm REALLY sorry I haven't updated. I have a couple excuses, but I won't even bother telling you because you'd think they're total bull. You may now kill me in some slow, gruesome and painful way.

By the way, thankyousomuch to the people who have reviewed. You have my undying gratitude!

**Max POV**

_Oh, crap, _I thought, clutching the arrow that was sprouting out of my shoulder. _Owowowowowow. Painful._

There were several thuds. My body was moving without me telling it to, taking out a couple orcs, pirouetting to avoid more arrows. Goddamn crossbows. Ah, well, at least they're not _half _as ouch-making as guns. But seriously, my shoulder had taken a lot of abuse in the last year or so. This would be, let's think, the third time I'd been shot in that general area? Counting the time I'd had my wing shot, because that was just behind the shoulder, so yeah.

Frickin' orcs. They pissed me off almost as much as Erasers and Flyboys and such and that's saying something. There was a remarkably different sounding thump and I saw Boromir go down. Crud. I mean, I hated the guy but that doesn't mean I want him dead.

"Oh, shiz," I muttered as a body slammed into me, knocking me to the ground.

_It's alright, Max. You don't have to stay conscious any longer. You're hurt badly. Rest, _said the Voice.

_Nuh-uh. I refuse, _I thought back. I really, really didn't want to go unconscious. Unfortunately, it's difficult to stay awake when you're lying on some very comfortable grass and you have an arrow sticking out of you, so I slowly gave in to the beckoning darkness.

**A While Before That Happened**

"Remind me again why I got stuck with this moron?" I grumbled. Boromir shot me a sharp look, which I ignored.

"If our mission is to succeed, you two need to work out your problems," said Legolas.

"It will be difficult to maneuver this boat with just one person rowing," Boromir observed.

"I'm rowing," Frodo and I both said at the same time.

"I doubt either of you have the strength to do so for a very long time," Boromir insisted.

"Bite me," I snapped, as Frodo shrugged in a sort of 'good point' way.

"I think she can handle it," Merry nodded. Fang looked like he was about to start cracking up, but he didn't, him having the emotional range of a brick and all.

We'd set off from Lorien in boats that held three people each. Fang, Merry, and Gimli were in one, Legolas, Nudge, Pippin, and Angel (they're all light, and we needed a place to stick Angel, so…) in another. Aragorn, Gazzy, Sam, and Total (much to his disgust, Total didn't count as a person) claimed ownership over another one. Then there was Boromir, Frodo and I. Shoot me.

I grabbed an oar and started paddling. Boromir looked like he was about to object, but I gave him the death glare that seems to make everyone but Iggy (for obvious reasons) freak out. We traveled for a while without much talking.

"We're getting behind," complained Boromir after a couple hours.

"And whose fault is that?" I snapped. "Slow poke."

"It is most certainly not mine," he said.

"You're an idiot," I said.

"Now look here, girl, if you don't start rowing faster we'll get further behind," Boromir said impatiently.

"I'm rowing faster than you, genius," I hissed.

"Why don't you both calm down?" Frodo suggested.

"Silence!" said Boromir just as I told him to shut up.

My oar slapped against the water angrily.

"You can't even row!" said Boromir. "I demand to trade boats with someone."

"That's it," I said angrily, dropping the oar to the floor of the boat. I lunged at him, pushing him out of the boat and into the river. He broke the surface coughing and spitting up water. The other boats backpedaled, staring in horror.

"Man, you just got burned," Iggy snickered. Boromir looked a little shocked for a moment, and then a flicker of satisfaction flew across his face. I think. That could have been my imagination. Probably because at that moment he started sinking, splashing around like an idiot.

"I can't swim!" he choked. Crud. I reached out to drag him back into the boat and h grabbed my wrist, pulling me out with him. I hit the water face first and let me tell you, it was _cold. _In a moment of shock, I sucked in a breath. Underwater. Yep, being a bird kid means you can breathe under water. I burst out of the water and spluttered a little.

"I just had that one coming, didn't I?" I sighed.

"Definitely," confirmed Gimli.

"Oooh yeah," Nudge giggled.

"Can I come in?" Angel asked.

"You don't want to. Trust me. It's freezing," I told her. She pouted. I clambered back into the boat over the side and wrung out my clothes, pulling on my sweatshirt and windbreaker which thank _god _I weren't wearing before. Boromir sat dripping at his end of the boat, cursing at me in medieval ways that for some reason weren't all that insulting. I swore back much worse. In my brain, of course. If the flock heard me cuss they'd think it was completely OK and then we'd have six potty mouthed bird kids running around which would _not _be fun for all you innocent bystanders out there.

We made camp just before we hit some rapids.

"We cross the lake at nightfall and then continue on foot to approach Mordor from the north," Aragorn decided.

Foot, shmoot. Whatever.

"Oh, yes, it's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil, an impassible labyrinth of razor sharp rocks. And after that it gets even better… a stinking marshland as far as the eye can see!" Gimli snorted.

"Sounds fun," said Fang as he began unpacking his backpack.

"That is our road," Aragorn insisted. "I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf."

"Recover my…!" Gimli said indignantly.

We set up camp listening to Gazzy singing Amish Paradise by Weird Al (this had become his theme song for our little adventure in Lord of the Rings land – I wonder why?) eerily well. As Merry walked in, dropping some kindling by the makeshift fire pit, he looked around.

"Where's Frodo?" he wondered aloud. Everyone straightened. I did a quick 360.

"A local boy kicked me in the butt last week, I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek!" Gazzy sang.

"Angel?" I whispered.

"I wasn't paying attention," she said flatly.

"Boromir's gone, too," observed Pippin.

"I really don't care in fact I wish him well, cos' I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell!" the Gasman continued.

"Gazzy, cork it, would'ya?" I said.

"Sorry!" he threw up his hands defensively. Sam immediately jumped to his feet and ran out to go looking for Frodo. So did Merry and Pippin. Legolas motioned for Gimli to come with him, and Aragorn left, too.

"OK, he couldn't have gotten far but just to be safe we'll split into four groups instead of the usual three to cover more ground. Gasser and Angel, you go together. Nudge and Total, you go with Iggy. Fang and I will go alone. Got it?" I said this rapidly and in one breath. Living with Nudge, you pick stuff up.

Everyone nodded, and we dashed off in separate directions. It probably wasn't a great idea for Frodo to be out there alone or with Boromir – I didn't trust that guy farther than Merry could throw him. Note I didn't say 'I' because I could probably throw Boromir farther than pretty much anyone else in our little group. Just another perk of being genetically enhanced!

I tried my luck with trying to scent him, but all the hobbits smell exactly the same: food, wilderness, and, more recently, an extreme case of BO. Plus it's not like the rest of us had any sort of variation in scent, and definitely nobody was wearing perfume.

I ran around for a while until I heard the blowing of a horn. I was face was a choice: go towards the horn, or run like hell. I was contemplating what my decision would be when I remembered that Boromir had a horn and that was probably his. From what I knew of him, it wouldn't be all that unbelievable for him to get ambushed and refuse to admit that being alone and/or protecting a hobbit or two and fighting against a healthy double-digited number of butt-ugly, sword-wielding orc things is up there in the list of 'things to run away from'.

I moved to run in his direction when the putrid smell of rotten eggs hit my nose, and you don't have to have bird kid senses for your alarm bells to start screaming: SOMETHING BAD IS COMING!

In this case, the something bad was a dozen orcs, or uruk-whatsits or whatever they're called. I cut down two or three, beat the crap out of a couple, and left the rest to watch my back as I sprinted away. Panting, I came into the clearing where Boromir stood, fighting like crazy. I vaguely registered Merry, Pippin, and Gazzy also present.

_Where's Angel? _I managed to think, before the whole pre-battle excitement kicked in.

"Need some help?" I asked.

"What do you think?" he spat. I shrugged and leaped into the fray.

"Suck on this, ugly," I hissed, stabbing something. I sliced and diced a couple more before I saw something slender and wooden whiz my direction. If you want to know the rest of the story, I recommend that you refer to the top of this page.

**Third Person POV**

"I'll be right back," said Angel. "Keep going. I'll catch up with you."

"Where are you going?" Gazzy asked.

"I found Frodo, but – just go tell Max, will you?" she said in the exasperated voice Max always used. Gazzy noticed things like that a lot – Angel was doing things Max usually did, imitating her. All of the kids strived to be like the flock's leader of course, since she was the roughest, toughest, coolest person in town, but sometimes the Gasman had to admit that his sister scared him a little.

"Okay, but be careful! I don't think we're the only freaks in this neck of the woods anymore," Gazzy warned, but Angel was already kicking up dust in his direction. He bit his lip and continued jogging in the direction Max was. He jumped when a horn sounded, and then remembered that it was Boromir's horn. Max will probably go in that direction, he thought, and headed over there lickity-split.

The next few horrifying minutes were lost on the eight year old bird boy. Gazzy could only sort through what happened when he thought back. He kicked and punched the orcs, but it was hard to hurt them because they had swords. Iggy had the only explosive, so the Gasman was forced into ranged combat, something he wasn't used to. Normally he just ran up to erasers and stuff and beat them up with his bare hands. Guns were a problem, but in the air it's usually easy to avoid being shot when you're more practiced than your opponent in the firearms department.

The worst part was Max getting shot. He wasn't all too big on being hefted onto a smelly orc's back and lugged away from the battlefield, either, but her pained expression made him want to burst into tears. It was hard, though, because after he'd knocked out the first _thing _that tried to carry him, they put a wicked sharp knife to his throat.

Angel sorted through the mess of thoughts to pinpoint Frodo's and barreled off in the direction they came from – back at the camp. She arrived just in time to see Sam dive into the water. The guy wasn't all that intelligent and he began sinking like a rock. She jumped in after him, streamlined and breathing evenly even as she went under and hooked her arms around his armpits, dragging him upwards.

Frodo grasped Sam firmly and hauled him up onto the boat. He landed in a soggy heap, water spraying out of his mouth.

_They can't come with me, _Angel heard Frodo think as she climbed neatly into a seat in a very final sort of way.

_Yes, we are, _she thought. Then she turned that thought into a command and sent it whizzing into Frodo's mind, forcing him to believe that _he _thought the two should come. His eyes glazed over a little, and then he blinked.

"I guess a little help wouldn't hurt," he said. Angel smiled brightly.

_Sorry, Max, but I've got to do this, _she thought.

Angel didn't bother sending it.


	11. Splitting Up

**Disclaimer : I own absolutely none of the characters and plot and stuff. Dang.**

** SOOOO sorry I'm taking forever to update! I am apparently the queen of procrastination. Yeah. I have no excuse.**

** OKAY so I'm going to try to be better about updating, but don't expect another chapter until December. It's November which means NaNoWriMo which means I am trying to not myself do anything besides write my novel (this includes homework. And sleeping. And bathroom breaks.) I actually wrote this entire chapter as a way to cure myself of terrible case writers block.**

** Once again, I know how lame it is that the wings haven't been revealed yet x.x It's just hard because if they're discovered too early then it's just like, hey, you, take the ring and zip into Mordor, drop it into the giant flaming volcano, and we're done! Then it would be really short. Which at the pace I'm going at this point might not be so bad.**

** Oh, yeah, one more thing: REVIEWWWWW!**

** Alright, now onto the story ^^**

** Max POV**

Black spots danced before my vision, which wasn't exactly crystal clear in the first place. I was vaguely aware of a hand shaking my shoulder.

"Max. _Max," _someone said. I made a little mumble noise. "Say something!"

"Ow," I said.

"That doesn't count," I recognized the first voice belonged to Fang and the second to Iggy. I sat up and opened my eyes. Pain lanced down my arm.

"Dude, you just got shot, chill out," Iggy said.

"I'm fine," I lied, trying to make my voice sound as strong as possible. I glanced down. The arrow was gone, the wound cleaned, with… well, a clean bandage would be an overstatement, but a strip of cloth that wasn't entirely filthy binding my shoulder. I hoped my super girl immune system would protect me from gangrene. I looked up again, counting everyone and noticed something that could be considered pretty dang important.

"Where's Angel and Gazzy?" Boromir, Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo were not part of this picture either but that hardly concerned me at the moment. Flock first. No one replied.

"Fang!" I hissed. He blinked.

"Angel… we're not sure. Merry, Pippin and Gazzy were kidnapped," he replied slowly. I stood up, pushing off my uninjured arm.

"Let's go," I said.

"Max! You're hurt, though!" Nudge objected. I ignored her. Aragorn grabbed my wrist, pressuring in a way that told me he was trying to grip hard.

"We have been rattled by a series of unfortunate events," he snarled in his attempt at angry/rude voice. "We need to take a moment to think!"

"Oh, unfortunate? You're right, it's _unfortunate_ that he's dead," I waved my hand in the direction of Boromir, who I could tell was very much dead. "It's _unfortunate _that Angel and Midgets One and Two are missing. It's _unfortunate _that the Gasman and Midgets Three and Four were lugged off by those weirdoes with major skin problems. It's _unfortunate _that the Fl – my family is stuck here. It's _unfortunate _that we've spent our lives living like this. No. Wrong. That's not _unfortunate. _That totally sucks and we can't just sit around on our butts. I want action. I want you to move your sorry ass right now and start solving problems. We don't have time for this," I snapped, and immediately felt better. Amazing how a little rant can make you feel so much better.

"Uh, yeah, only there's still the issue of your gaping wound," Total pointed out.

"Oh, shut up. You don't walk with your arms," I glared at him.

"Just trying to be the logical one," the dog leaned back, sticking his butt up in the air which was the equivalent of waving your hands innocently. "It's kinda boring, actually."

"We're going back to the camp, grabbing our stuff, and moving. Angel can take care of herself, and if she left of her own free will she has a higher chance of staying safe. We'll head after Gazzy and Merry and Pippen," I decided.

"Excuse me, little miss, but when did you become leader?" Gimli asked the way grown-ups always do when they're horrified they didn't get their way.

"A while ago," I replied simply, flouncing off and ignoring the throbbing pain in my shoulder that was magnified whenever I stepped too hard.

"Wait," Legolas called. "We should at least honor our friend with a proper burial." I felt a tug at my gut. He meant a funeral. I hate funerals. I mean, everyone hates funerals, but this is different. I grew up in an environment where funeral wasn't even an option. When the other experiments, some of which I talked to and thought were cool and nice, died they were just cremated and tossed out of the window. I'd thought that funerals were good, like they made everything better. Then we escaped and then Ari died and I learned they did the exact opposite. I don't think I've ever cried as hard as I had back then.

_Grow a backbone, will you? _I told myself. _First of all, you hated the guy second of all he's a freaking fictional character!_

_ Is that the truth? _The Voice asked. _Did you really hate him?_

_ Shut up, _I snapped.

"Fine. Whatever," I sighed, then turned to help.

**Third Person POV (centered around The Gasman)**

Gazzy woke up about two minutes after he'd fallen asleep. He was exhausted, but unfortunately it's difficult to doze off when you're being lugged around by a stinky blood stained orc. His fingers tapped together in a steady beat as the thing that was lugging him around trotted forward at a quick jog. He glanced to his left and made eye contact with Pippen for a moment, though he seemed distracted. He kept craning his neck to peer over Gazzy at Merry. Gazzy looked to his right and saw that Merry was still out cold, wheezing slightly and bleeding from a cut next to his eye. Gazzy wrinkled his nose. How long could someone be unconscious in a situation like this?

Suddenly, an orc stopped, causing a small traffic jam. He reared his head a sniffed the air.

"They're on our trail," he grunted. "Move it, maggots!"

"Aragorn!" Pippen whispered hopefully as Gazzy simultaneously said "Max!"

They grinned at each other. Pippen bent his head and started gnawing at the brooch on his cloaky cape thing, ripping it off and spitting it onto the ground. He winked.

Normally in a situation like this it would be fairly probable that Gazzy could kick butt and ditch without getting very hurt, and he could even take the hobbits with him, but these orc guys were smarter than they looked. They'd tied their captives up in just the right way so the muscles necessary for escape were the weakest ones throughout the body. Not only that, but there was something sharp constantly digging into Gazzy's stomach, threatening to cut him up if he moved around too much. He'd have to wait until they got tired and stopped. Preferably this would be soon, and Gazzy knew how to make that happen. All he had to do was use his greatest weapon: annoyance.

"If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears, we haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years," he began.

"Shut up!"

"But we aint really quaint so please don't point and stare, we're just technologically impaired!"

"Can it, shire worm!" the orc elbowed him hard in the ribs, but Gazzy was already feeling victorious. A few lines of the song later and the orc was ready to kill him.

"No! We need them alive!" barked the leader. "They've got something: an elvish weapon. The master wants it for the war."

Gazzy hoped it was partly his work that made them stop that night. His orc dropped him onto the ground unceremoniously and kept shooting him looks that said 'I will strangle you in your sleep'. The Gasman blocked out the argument about whether or not he and the hobbits should be eaten and turned to Merry and Pippen.

"They think we have the ring!" Pippen whispered, looking scared. "And they think Gazzy's a hobbit!"

"Shh! If they find out they're wrong we're dead!" Merry snapped. He'd woken up a few hours previously. Then he sighed. "I think we made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippen."

Pippen nodded earnestly and Gazzy looked down sadly. He wished he'd had a choice, leaving… well, Earth. The Flock didn't really have a specific place to live. His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden chorus of creaking sounds.

"Wha – what's that?" Pippen said.

"It's the trees," Merry explained.

"The_ trees?" _Gazzy said.

"Remember the Old Forest? On the boarders of Buckland?" Merry turned to Pippen who nodded. "Folk used to say there was something in the water to make the trees grow tall and… come alive."

"Alive?"

"Trees that could talk to each other, even move."

"You're freakin' crazy, man."

The arguing was becoming too animated to ignore. An orc had limped over and was standing over the three captives, his giant claw-like sword poised to hack and stab.

"No!" snarled the leader, but it was too late. The orc had stabbed downwards. Unluckily for him, he'd picked Gazzy as his first target. The Gasman smiled evilly as he rolled to avoid being skewered, and then kicked out with his bound ankles, slamming the orc in the shins and sending him toppling over. The leader grabbed the orc and hefted him upwards before decapitating him. The severed head rolled right next to Gazzy's stomach and he suddenly felt the urge to barf all over the place.

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!" cackled the leader. The other orcs fell upon their dead ex-buddy and started ripping out his innards with their teeth.

"Let's go!" Gazzy hissed. Merry and Pippen nodded furiously and followed him at a crawl. Suddenly, a foot connected with Gazzy's side and sent him sprawling into Pippen.

"Ow!"

"Go on, call for help. Squeal! Ain't no one going to save you now," spat a new orc who apparently didn't much enjoy cannibalism. Suddenly something sharp and pointy protruded from his chest and the orc was thrown to the side.

"What was _that?" _Gazzy gasped. Pippen shrugged. Horse hooves thundered all around them, their riders creaming anything that moved.

"Come on!" Merry said. They began crawling at high speed. Gazzy swallowed hard, maneuvering through the dead things carefully. He froze at the sound of a familiar scream and whipped around.

Pippen was about to be crushed by a giant horse.

** Third Person POV (centered around Angel)**

Angel fidgeted with Celeste's dress and her mind wandered to the rest of the Flock. Despite the fact that she'd ditched them on purpose, she wondered if they were worried about her. She felt a small twinge of regret, but pushed it away. She was almost positive they were all alive, even though the ability to read their minds had faded over such a long distance. She worried a little about her brother, but told herself that he would be fine. Gazzy was tough, not to mention older than her.

"Gandalf!" Angel jumped at the sound of Frodo's voice ringing out. She shot him a look.

"What is it, Mr. Frodo?" Sam had been jolted out of sleep, apparently.

"Nothing, just a dream. Go back to sleep," Frodo assured him. Sam seemed kinda overprotective or something to Angel. She shrugged and continued on with her watch.

The next day was pretty much exactly the same as the one before it. And before that. And before that. And… well, you get it. As Sam gazed out over the mountain tops and opened his mouth, probably to begin a giant speech, Angel raised her hand.

"I think we're lost," she said matter-of-factly.

"Definitely," Sam sighed. "I don't think Gandalf meant for us to go this way."

"He didn't mean for a lot of things to happen, Sam, but they did," Frodo said. He glanced upwards at the giant flaming eyeball that had been following them around, situated on top of a giant tower, and gasped, stumbling backwards a few steps.

"Mr. Frodo? It's the ring, isn't it," it wasn't a question.

"It's getting heavier," Frodo sat down and fumbled at his water bottle.

"How can it get heavier? That doesn't make sense," Angel frowned. "Can I hold it?"

Frodo ignored her. "How much food do we have left?"

"Well, let me see," Sam said, dropping his pack and opening it. Angel could tell he already knew what was in there. "Oh, lovely Lembas bread. And look! Some more Lembas bread."

"How is that stuff not totally stale by now?" said Angel.

"No clue," Sam said, taking a bite. "But I don't care. It's pretty good, this stuff."

"Nothing ever dampens your spirits, does it, Sam?" Frodo smiled. It was a creepy smile and Angel hated it.

"Those rain clouds might," Sam grumbled, gesturing towards the sky. Angel sighed. She hated rain. It's cold and wet and makes you colder even after it's stopped.

Sure enough, a few minutes later rain started coming down from the sky in buckets. You could barely take in a breath without sucking in some water as well.

"Look on the bright side," said Angel with false optimism. "There's lotsa water to drink!"

Frodo and Sam gave her doubtful looks before continuing to scurry along, hiding under their cloaks. When the rain thinned enough for them to be able to see clearly, Sam decided to state the obvious.

"This looks familiar."

"That's because it is," Frodo sounded exasperated. "We're going in circles!"

"We should have asked that guy for directions, back there," Angel said, referring to an old hermit they'd met back when there were still trees around them.

"We don't need directions!" said Frodo.

"But we're lost!"

"Well, what're the chances he had directions to _Mordor?"_ Sam pointed out. "And 'sides, we don't need directions!"

"Ugh. Men," Angel rolled her eyes.

"I reckon there's a nasty bog nearby," Sam wrinkled his nose. "I can smell it!"

"I smell it, too," Frodo whispered. "We're not alone."

After another day wandering around being, no matter what Sam and Frodo said, completely lost, they curled up under a cliff to sleep.

Angel heard it first, not only because she was on watch but because of her super powered hearing. Fingernails scraping the rock, wheezing whispers echoing softly off the rocks. She nudged Frodo and Sam awake, pressing a finger to her lips and indicating upwards. They rolled over and pretended to be fast asleep, but the moment Angel heard the pit-pat of feet launching themselves off stone, she bolted upright and grabbed the things arms, sending it crashing downwards.

It was a slick green-gray color with giant eyes and a few strands of stringy hair. It reminded Angel a bit of a twisted, gnarled version of Dobby the House Elf from Harry Potter. It was sort of disgusting, so she kicked it.

The thing bounced back immediately and hurled itself at Frodo, clawing at his face. Angel and Sam lunged, grabbing its arms and yanking it off. Frodo retaliated by drawing his sword and sticking it right up against the thing's neck.

"This is Sting," Frodo hissed. "You've seen it before, haven't you, Gollum? One move and I'll slit your throat!"

Sam, Frodo, and Angel bound _Gollum _with an elvish rope which seemed to be very painful. He was throwing himself against the walls, screaming bloody murder and complaining that 'it burns'.

Actually, it was more like: "IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNSSSSS!"

"Quiet, you," Sam snapped, then turned to Frodo. "It's useless. Every orc in Mordor's gonna hear this racket! Let's just tie him up and leave 'im."

"BUT THAT WOULD KILL USSSSS!" Gollum shrieked, rolling around on the floor and gargling like a maniac.

"I think that's the point," Angel said.

"Maybe he does deserve to die," said Frodo quietly. "But now that I see him, I do pity him."

"I think since he attacked us we should stick with Sam's plan," Angel nodded. "Beat him up and leave him."

"If you is nice to us we is nice to you," Gollum crawled forward and let out a hacking cough. "Take it off us! We swears to do whats you wants, we swears."

"There's no promise you can make that I can trust," Frodo said.

"We swears on… we swears on… the precious! We swears on the precious!"

"The ring is treacherous. It will hold you to your will," said Frodo. It was something between a question and a statement.

"Yes, on the preciousss, on the precioussss," Gollum wheezed.

"I don't believe you!" Sam snapped. Startled, Gollum jumped back onto a rock. "Get down from there!"

Sam yanked on the rope, pulling Gollum to the ground in a heap.

"Sam!" Frodo cried.

"He's trying to trick us! We let him go, he'll throttle us in our sleep!" Sam insisted.

That was an interesting thought. Angel cocked her head and reached out for Gollum's mind. There wasn't much that made sense in there. It was like an argument between two people.

_Kill, we kill them! They steal the precious, filthy little thieves!_

_ Steals the precious, yes, but kill? The… the one is nice! He is nice to Smeagol!_

_ No one is nice to Smeagol. Everyone hates Smeagol!_

Angel raised her eyebrows. It seemed as if part of Gollum was a peace-loving Barbie unicorn and the other one was more like a Barbie unicorn from hell. She shrugged. She could beat the heck out of this guy any day. All it would take would be a few thoughts,

"You know the way to Mordor?" Frodo said breathlessly. Gollum nodded warily.

"Yesss," he hissed. Frodo leaned forward and took the rope off from around Gollum's neck. Gollum's eyes widened and a smile flickered across his lips. Frodo looked slightly doubtful, but handed the rope to Sam and looked down at the green grey creature coldly.

"You will lead us to the black gate."


	12. You Look Like Someone I Know

**AAAAAH I DID IT. NANOWRIMO IS OVER. I'm going to try and start shooting these chapters out faster, since I've got a little subplot or two in mind :) Also, sorry I skipped over a little that should have happened in Max's POV but I kept rewriting the encounter with the riders of Rohan and I couldn't get it quite right. So if you haven't seen LOTR and are still reading this, just know they met a bunch of dudes led by a guy named Eomer and they gave them horses and said they offed Merry, Pippin, and Gazzy xD**

**Anyways, REVIEW PLEASE! Oh, and one more thing. I 3 ALL OF YOU :DDD**

**Max POV**

Nudge was practically in hysterics, Iggy was staring blankly at nothing in disbelief, Total was rolling on the ground trying not to bawl, and Fang was looking at me like I was crazy. But I wasn't. Okay, maybe a little, but not about this whole thing. To be fair, I was disgusted at myself at first, too. Gazzy, Merry, Pippin – dead? I should have been horrified at this. Probably crying. Throwing some sort of fit. But for some reason I wasn't worried. Like, at all. Probably because I subconsciously came to the conclusion that Gazzy, at the very least, was definitely not dead.

Okay, so maybe saying _definitely _is a teensy bit overconfident of me, but I mean, seriously. What are the chances that a small, agile, and extremely strong boy with wings _wouldn't _be able to weasel himself out of a situation like being attacked by a bunch of people who, it turns out, are good guys? That's right, pretty damn tiny. Also, I trusted Gazzy to be able to break Merry and Pippin out, too. He's a flock member and I have complete faith in him.

"I really don't think they're dead," I said out loud, and Legolas casted me a bemused look.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I – I don't know. I think Gazzy would have been able to escape, and bring the two midgets with him," I said. Fang nodded slowly, like he completely got it and Nudge wiped away her tears and stopped sobbing. Iggy blinked and turned his head so he was facing me.

"You're right," said Nudge as if she was trying to convince herself that I _was _right and not just insane or something. "You're right. Gazzy is Gazzy. He wouldn't get killed by some guys riding on My Little Ponies waving around pointy sticks. Right? Because, I mean he's tough. And he can take care of himself. And he's a - "

"Right," I confirmed, cutting her off. Aragorn looked up at me thoughtfully from where he'd collapsed onto the ground. Then he looked back at the earth. He poked the dirt with a finger.

"A hobbit lay here," he observed. "And the other. And the boy, as well," he crawled forward, running his hands across the dusty ground, squinting to take in all the details. "They crawled. Their hands were bound," he picked a trampled length of rope out of the rotting leaves. "Their bonds were cut," he got excited and went from crawling on hands and knees to hands and feet. "The tracks lead away from the battle!" he started to run, and we followed him earnestly. But he trailed off and frowned. "… into Fangorn forest."

"_What_ forest?" Iggy queried.

"You know, I could have done all that with my nose," Total grumped.

"Fangorn forest," Gimli breathed. "What madness drove them there?"

"Um, this is just a guess, but probably the decent sized battle between those stinking orc thingies and those horse dudes," I said. Gimli shot me a look like, _shut-your-trap-annoying-little-girl-and-don't-be-smart-with-me. _I flashed him a grin.

We entered the forest. It was dark and dank and cold, with a thin cover of fog drifting in and out of the trees, giving the entire landscape a milky greyish light, which was a sharp contrast to the yellow and blue of the rest of Rohan which we'd seen. There didn't seem to be much animal life in the forest, but occasionally the croak of a frog or the chirp of a squirrel would cut through the musty air.

Gimli wiped something black and sticky off of a tree branch with his finger and licked it. He grimaced and spat it out.

"Orc blood," he grumbled.

"Ew, gross, you _ate _it?" Nudge gaped. "That cannot be sanitary."

"Not like you're exactly the most hygienic little girl in these lands," Gimli shot back, and Nudge shrugged, accepting his insult as the truth. I mean, it totally was, so no reason she shouldn't.

"These are strange tracks," Aragorn mused.

"They look kind of like deer tracks," said Iggy. Everyone stared at him. "What? It was just a joke!"

"The air is so close in here," Gimli said.

"This forest is old. Very old," Legolas observed absently. "Full of memories… and anger."

"Deforestation is a very important issue," said Fang. I snorted. Groans reverberated through the forest, bouncing off the trees ominously, and Gimli raised his giant weapon thingamajigger.

"Gimli, lower your ax," Aragorn gestured wildly with his arms.

"Huh?" Gimli complied but gave the man a funny look.

"Like Fang said. Deforestation. Axes. It's a sensitive subject," I said. Gimli sneered at me. Legolas rattled something of in Elf Latin.

"What?" Nudge squeaked. Aragorn replied in Elf Latin as well.

"Sorry, I don't speak Chinese," Total said.

"The White Wizard approaches," Legolas explained softly. A worried smile played at his mouth.

"Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us," Aragorn ordered.

"Oh. A spell. Great," said Iggy weakly. "This is so beyond weird."

"We must be quick," Aragorn continued, his hand falling on the hilt of his sword. Legolas and Gimli were already gearing up for a fight, too. I reached down and grabbed one of my knives as Fang gripped his sword as well. Nudge hefted her crossbow proudly and Iggy looked pissed that he didn't have a nifty medieval gadget. Aragorn gave a shout like, 'now!' and we spun around.

There was a blinding light in front of us, like a mini sun. Legolas and Nudge loosed arrows but mini sun guy deflected them both. I felt the hilt of my knives grow hot and I yelled, dropping them.

"Ow!"

Aragorn, Fang, and Gimli had done the same, cursing rather loudly and colorfully. I almost snapped at them to shut up with the cussing but then realized neither Angel nor Gazzy was there to witness the psycho swearfest and I was pretty sure Nudge wasn't going to go around blindly repeating whatever comes out of our dirty mouths. Plus, the Middle Earthian swear words were kind of wimpy and lame and made very little sense.

"You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits and a small human boy," said mini sun guy in a deep, stalkerish voice.

"Where are they?" Aragorn said loudly.

"That's not a question, that's a threat," I amended. "What he means to say is: _tell us where they are or we'll kick your crumbling senile arse - "_

"Max!" Legolas barked. "Please close your mouth."

"You mean 'shut up'," Total corrected him.

"They passed this way the day before yesterday," continued mini sun guy. "They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?"

"No," I said immediately. We meet people we don't expect all the freaking time, and usually said people want to rip our guts out and dissect us. So yeah, there's the answer to your question.

"Who in gods are you?" Aragorn said. "Show yourself!"

Mini sun guy decided, apparently, that he didn't want to be mini sun guy. At that moment I conveniently remembered that his name was _not _mini sun guy, but Gandalf, who magically got brought back to life for some confusing reason that doesn't really make much sense and looks a lot like a plot hole to me. But hey, who am I to talk? I haven't used my credit card in forever, after all. Anyways, so there Gandalf was, in an entirely new outfit in that it was white instead of grey and looked about ten thousand years newer, smiling like nothing happened. Aragorn gaped and Legolas and Gimli dropped onto their knees, bowing.

"But – you fell!" Aragorn said, looking extremely confused.

"Through fire and water…" he started explaining exactly what happened in great detail and exactly how he got brought back to life which, even hearing it in person, makes zip zero none sense to me, but whatever. "I've been sent back, until my task is done."

"Like Harry Potter!" Nudge gasped. "Holy smokes, I just realized something, you _totally _should have played Dumbledore. It would have been _wicked awesome_. **(AN: Spoiler alert if you haven't read the 6****th**** Harry Potter =P which you should have by now. GOSH)** I mean, you're both ultra-powerful wizards. Only Dumbledore died for good. I cried when that happened. It was, like, _so _sad. I was literally sobbing, and Max was like, 'um, what?' and then I told her and she got all pissy at me because she hadn't gotten to that part yet and - "

"Shut up?" Legolas said, trying the words out in his mouth.

"Good job!" I clapped him on the back.

"It's good to see _you're _all doing quite well," Gandalf said, most specifically at Nudge. She blushed. "I come back to you now, at the turning of the tide."

"Gandalf!" Aragorn said.

"We have much to do and far from an abundance of time. Come!" Gandalf said, and turned away. He started walking through the woods.

"Hey!" I cried at his back. "Ditcher!"

We scrambled after him through the woods. The guy was extremely smooth, like he was walking on completely level ground as opposed the root-ridden, bumpy forest floor. It made him seem kind of aloof which was a little annoying.

"One stage of your journey is over and another begins," he began. "There is war in Rohan. We must ride to Edoras with all speed." Suddenly we are not in the forest anymore, which is weird because I didn't notice us coming up on the end. Gandalf put his fingers to his lips and let rip a completely trippy whistle. A horse appeared on the horizon and started galloping towards us, followed by four other ones.

"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell," Legolas muttered, almost to himself.

"Shadowfax, lord of all horses and my friend through many dangers," said Gandalf as he patted the horse on the mane. It was completely white.

"Horses have _lords_?" Iggy looked doubtful.

"Of course, Iggy," Gandalf said, shooting him a look that said: _are you crazy? _That was totally lost on Ig, of course.

"Fang," I said, and we started moving towards one of the horses with Shadowfax, a brown one with a black mane and white hoof-around-areas. Yeah, I don't really know anything about horses.

"No, wait," Gandalf objected. "I would like to ride with Max, if you have no objections?"

I stared at him blankly. Why did he want to ride with _me_? This entire journey there's been the Fellowship and the Flock: even though the Flock was technically part of the Fellowship, we were very much apart, as well. So why was he getting all friendly with me now? Anyways, I shrugged and nodded. I mean, seriously, what was he going to do? Stab me in the back? I could whoop his creaky old man butt in a second if he even tried.

So I climbed onto Shadowfax (with a teensy bit of a boost from Aragorn) with Gandalf. Legolas and Gimli mounted a grey horse, Nudge and Iggy claimed a black one, and Aragorn and Fang took the brown one, Total in tow.

"I really hate riding these things," Total sniffed. "They're so uncivilized."

"Not every animal can talk, Total," I reminded him, and he drew his lips back in a small snarl. I stuck my tongue out in return.

When we started riding, I'm ashamed to say I fell asleep almost immediately, lulled by the steady, constant hoofbeats. I wasn't _alone_, of course. Everyone took turns sleeping, except Gandalf, who didn't seem all that tired, and Total who was just zonked out basically the entire time. Small dogs aren't much help keeping companions from being thrown off a running horse.

Riding horses is actually kind of great. I mean, not the part where you bump around and your butt gets super sore, but it's kind of a little like flying. The general feeling, I mean, with all the wind in your face and the nonstop movement through the air. I could feel my wings twitching underneath my shirt.

About an hour into the ride, Gandalf started to talk to me and it became clear exactly why he wanted me on the same horse as him.

"I know you're hiding something," he began slowly, carefully. "What I am not sure of is exactly what."

"Hiding something?" I said innocently. "Aw, shut it. I'm not hiding anything. Unless you really _want _to know my favorite sandwich topping. It's Nutella, by the way."

"Your little sister, Angel. I know she influenced the minds of the council so they would allow you six children to come on this quest," he said. Wow, _influenced? _That's a might nice way to put it, mister.

"That's ridiculous," I said smoothly. With years of covering up the many oddities of our existence comes the ability to tell a mean lie. "You're suggesting that _Angel _has _mind control_. In case you didn't notice, she's six."

"I did notice her age, but I also noticed that whenever an enemy approached her it would simply die, or turn around and begin to attack its comrade," he said. Damn. I knew I should have made her be more careful.

"Yeah, well those orc dudes are creepy. And not very smart," I said. He turned around and fixed me in a menacing glare.

"Maximum Ride," he warned.

"I don't remember telling you my full name," I said coolly. "Now who's the one invading people's minds?"

"I heard it from someone else."

"Liar."

"It's different," he said, exasperated. "I don't read minds, I read information. I pick up small tidbits off of anyone not completely dedicated to locking everything away in the depths of the human brain. It's not quite as clear as mind reading, nor as powerful."

I gritted my teeth and rolled my eyes. "So say we're hiding something," I said. "What are you going to do about it?"

"If you harm a single member of this fellowship, I will not hesitate to snuff out the small flame of your life that currently smolders," he threatened.

"Geez, chillax, drama queen," I said. "We're not about to hurt anyone who doesn't try to hurt us."

"I know many of the people you've come across of late have utterly underestimated you," Gandalf said quietly. "But I am not one of those people. I am giving you a warning. I will not push for more information at this time, but if anything happens, be prepared."

"Whatever you say, grandpa," I told him, and turned my head to watch our surroundings zip by. I was just about to nod off again when I noticed a figure in the distance. I zoomed in on him with my raptor vision and saw that he was running – no, it looked like he was _jogging, _almost_ – _at the pace of the horses. Um, what? I squinted for a better look. Boy, obviously, from how I've been calling him a him. What's that, a pronoun? Aw, whatever. Maybe fifteen, sixteen. He was looking at me, but when he saw me looking he slowed to a stop and disappeared over a hill.

There was something else, too. I recognized him from somewhere, I couldn't quite place _where, _though. All I know is I was associating the memory with anger, fear, and pain.


	13. More Splitting Up,More Sticking Together

**I apologize. This almost went crackfic with Angel reading some minds. I'm sorry ;_; Also, you may have noticed that I am trying to start to reply to reviews now. Because I am feeling responsible. So you should review so you get a direct communication from the most famous mwuah ;D  
I'll try to get another chapter up in time for Christmas, but don't quote me on that. I'll be on vacation and I'm not positive I'll have time.  
Have fun:**

**Third person POV, the Gasman centered**

The Gasman, being a mutant bird freak as he was, had seen a lot of weird things in his life, but the contents of just one day probably beat almost all of the other stuff. First off, there were the orcs. Admittedly he'd seen them before, but they were still pretty messed up creatures. They reminded him of some sort of defective batch of Erasers. _Majorly _defective. Then there was the fact that the orcs were cannibals. Even the Erasers hadn't been driven to cannibalism, as far as he knew. But admittedly it was a possibility.

Secondly was the horse people. He, Merry, and Pippin had been sitting there innocently trying to come up with a brilliant escape plan when they'd attacked. Quite rudely, by the way. Pippin had almost been flattened by horsey hooves into a pancake. They'd completely ignored them, though. They would move to slash at the boys and freeze before turning around and hacking at some orc, like they were preprogrammed to only slice'n'dice the creepy critters with the mottled black and red skin. Not that Gazzy was complaining.

Thirdly and most weirdly were the trees of course. The three had escaped from the scene of the battle only to be jumped by some pissed of rogue orc. Gazzy was just gearing up to whoop its butt when he was beat to it by a. freaking. Tree. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen a talking, walking, breathing tree before, but his name was Treebeard and he was actually quite nice. Only thing was he had short term memory loss or something because he'd lost all females of his race.

Lastly, apparently Gandalf was still alive. Treebeard was under the impression that the Gasman, Merry, and Pippin were orcs so he dragged them to the 'White Wizard' to confirm his suspicions, and it turns out the White Wizard is actually the old guy who died before. Max and Fang had failed to mention this. Anyways, he wasn't about to start whining about it. He kind of had missed the guy.

So there they were, at a meeting of the 'Ents', the tree species that Treebeard was. There were a bunch of Ents, all gathered around what they called the Ent moot, leaving Merry, Pippin, and Gazzy to their own devices. Merry was zoned out, staring up and the dark sky, and Gazzy had taught Pippin how to play chopsticks and the hobbit had quickly become obsessed.

"Oi!" he said. "You can't do that!"

"Yeah I can!" Gazzy said defiantly. "Look, I'm splitting up the fingers in my right hand, that's perfectly legal!"

"But your left hand is behind your back," Pippin pointed accusingly.

"It doesn't matter! It's perfectly, definitely legal," Gazzy said with finality. Pippin opened his mouth to object, or clarify something, or something, but was interrupted as Treebeard stomped towards them.

"Hey, Merry, wake up," Gazzy prodded him with the two fingers that were left on his hand. The other three had been knocked out by Pippin. Merry blinked and sat up.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," he grumbled.

"We have just agreed…" Treebeard began to announce, but he stopped and his eyes drooped shut for a few seconds.

"Yes?" Merry prompted.

"I have told you names to the Ent moot," Treebeard continued. "And we have agreed that you are not orcs."

"Well, that's good," Pippin said, and Gazzy nodded. Merry didn't seem so satisfied.

"And what about Saruman? Have you come to a decision about _him_?" he said in a strained voice.

"The war that rages on the outside is not _our _war," Treebeard insisted.

"But you're _part _of this world, aren't you?" Merry prompted. "_Aren't _you."

"I'm not, and _I'm _still helping," Gazzy grumbled to himself. Pippin looked at him questioningly and he took back his statement. "Nothing!"

"How can this be your decision!" Merry continued angrily. He was spitting and stomping and generally looking furious. "Our _friends _are out there! We have to help them!"

"The Ents cannot hold back this storm. We must weather it, as we have - " but, to everyone's surprise, Gazzy cut him off.

"Don't be stupid," he said. "It doesn't matter, does it? I mean, what if someone was going around injecting puppies with cancer, what would you do?"

Treebeard was speechless, and Merry and Pippin were giving him weird looks, but the Gasman continued. "I mean, you're _obviously _not puppies, right? But, I mean, wouldn't you wanna do something? Because they're puppies? Just because we human beings and…" he looked over at Merry and Pippin. "hobbits, and elves and dwarves and stuff and we're not cute doesn't mean we don't deserve the cure for cancer!"

He was met with complete silence.

"Yeah, that ended up a really long way away from where it started."

"You are young and brave, small masters, but your role in this tale is over. Go back to your home," Treebeard said with the air of a grandfather scolding his grandchild. Merry glared and turned away with Pippin hot on his heels. Gazzy, however, was not about to give up so easily. You don't grow up with _Maximum freaking Ride _without having a little stubborn-ness rubbed off on you, and right now Gazzy was feeling very, very rubbed.

"Hey! Listen to me! I'm talking!" he shouted. "I know I'm not old like you, but I do have some life experience, you know. Kind of. And, I mean, that sucks, right? I mean, like, an eight year old shouldn't have life experience, right? Most don't, right? But, like, there was this guy. Jeb, right? Well, I mean, he wasn't like us _at all_. He was the enemy. But he cared, I guess. He didn't like us being injected with cancer, even though he wasn't a puppy. So he helped us. He turned out to be a traitor, of course, but that doesn't really matter because he's good again now and…. Agh! Just quit being so freaking _selfish_!"

"Brave words for such a young boy," said Treebeard admiringly. "But we have made our decision."

"Maybe they're right," Pippin said quietly. "This is too big for us. We should just… just go home. Back to the Shire."

"The fires of Isengard will spread. The woods of Tuckburough and Buckland will burn," Merry said. "There won't _be_ a shire, Pippin."

With that, he stalked off into the non-moving trees, hands stuffed in his pockets.

**Third Person POV, Angel centered**

Angel shivered and stared at the murky water below her. She wasn't quite positive it could be called water, more like really, really thin and runny mud.

"I don't like this," she complained.

"Hobbitses want a way to Mordor and we gives it to them. They do not want to go anymore?" Gollum hissed.

"For the last time, I'm _not _a hobbit," Angel complained, flicking some mud off of her arm. "I'm a human girl. And I'm seven."

"Gollum is right," said Frodo. "If this is the safest and fastest way, we will take it. We can't waste time worrying about luxuries."

"Luxuries like having something to sleep on that won't suck you up?" Sam snorted. He wasn't crazy about this idea, either. He wasn't happy about Gollum at all. Angel didn't really mind the toadlike, green-grey creature, and knew he was leading them the right way and that he wasn't planning to stab them in the back, but she wasn't used to having to trek this far over such uneven land. Normally she would just spread her wings and fly to her destination, and she planned to as soon as possible, but she needed these three a little longer, just to get her bearings. Suddenly, Sam yelped and jumped backwards.

"There are dead things! Dead faces in the water!" he said.

"Yesss, all dead, all rotten," Gollum gave a little twisted grin. "A great battle, long ago. Elves and men and orcses. The Dead Marshes, yess, yes, that is their name. Come this way, hobbits, and don't follow the lights."

"The lights?" Angel stared. "Like, at the end of the tunnel?"

Gollum didn't reply, but she found the answer in his mind easily enough and was not encouraged. There was a splash as Sam's foot found its way into the water and he yanked it out, cursing.

"Careful now, or hobbits go down to join the dead ones and light little candles of their own," Gollum smiled slyly, like he would enjoy that very much.

They walked on in a silence for a little then, and Angel started to get bored, so she began flipping through heads.

_Ring, _thought Frodo. _Ring ring ring ring rin. Sam._

_Myyyy precioussss, _the hatred mixed with glee was visible on Gollum's face as he thought this. _Myyy precioussss. They steals it. We must get it baaaaack!_

_Oh, god, ew!_ Sam had the most varying thoughts. _Gross, this is gross. Mud. I hate mud. Mr. Frodo. Yeah, Mr. Frodo. He's very, very – _

Angel was jolted out of her little window into the other's minds when she was sprayed with water.

"Ah!" she cried. "Ah! This stuff is… ah!"

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam roared, jumping around on the banks in a panic. She saw a ghostly green figure attach itself to Frodo's mind's eye and took a few steps forward, but before she could do anything, Gollum and thrust his hand down into the water and was pulling Frodo out by the scruff of his shirt.

"Don't. Follow. The lights," he hissed the warning, sounding slightly annoyed, then dropped the soggy hobbit onto the ground and bounded away.

"_Again with the lights?_" Angel growled, seriously considering editing the phrase out of Gollum's vocabulary. It creeped her out.

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam fretted, dropping down next to his master and checking to make sure he was alright.

That night, a Nazgul flew over their camp.

Sam and Frodo and Gollum were scared out of their wits, but Angel found herself merely fascinated. It was a _dragon. _The Nazgul rode on a _dragon. _Sort of like a giant, inhuman version of herself. Well, no, that's not right. Just because it could fly didn't mean it was anything similar to her.

She got something else out of the Nazgul's little visit, too. She was on watch, so she was able to track exactly where it went with her eyes. Then, two hours later, when her watch ended, she didn't bother to wake Sam up.

She jumped into the air and took off.

**Max POV**

When I woke up I immediately started thinking about that guy. You know, the familiar one. He seemed like someone I knew from when I was a kid who'd grown up a little and looked different, but still had the same general features, you know? But that's ridiculous, of course. The only people from my childhood are a) the Flock b) whitecoats or c) other experiments, long past expired. So who could it possibly be?

"Fang," I said, to get his attention, then told him in one of our famous eye conversations that I'd very much like to talk to him at some point in the relatively near future. He nodded so slightly I wasn't sure if it was a nod or a jolt from the horse.

At that moment, I caught sight of the villiage… city… fortress… aw, screw it, giant honking _thing _looming in front of us.

"Edoras and the golden hall of Meduseld. There dwells Theoden, king of Rohan, whose mind has been overthrown. Saruman's hold over the king is now very strong," Gandalf narrated grimly.

"What, his mind?" Nudge gaped. "Like, _mind control_?" she threw me a pointed look, much much too obviously. Both Legolas and Aragorn read her expression and stared at me looking slightly alarmed.

"Yeah, sounds totally unreal, right?" I said, gritting my teeth. "I can't believe anything like that _could ever be real. _But, you know, this is a different place."

"Right!" she gave me a quick salute and quit looking at me altogether. _Nice, Nudge, very subtle, _I sighed.

"Be careful what you say here," this was mostly directed at the Flock, excluding Fang, and Gimli. The accused nodded their heads and adopted stern expressions like, _us, say stupid things? I wash my hands of the idea!_ "Do not look for welcome here."

"Because of the mind control, right?" Iggy said.

"Everyone's looking at you like that's totally obvious, Ig," I commentate.

"Just making sure!" he defended himself. We ran the horses into the honking big thing and after a little shouting match between Gandalf and the guards, rode through the gates. As we entered, I couldn't help but notice something flicker across Aragorn's face as he looked upwards. I followed his gaze and saw that he'd made eye contact with a woman who looked fairly hot from this distance. I threw him a smirk.

"She's pretty sexy, huh, Arry?" I teased. He glared at me and I backed down immediately, still snickering. Fang rolled his eyes but kind of smiled a little, which made me flush. Then it was Aragorn's turn to look at me knowlingly.

"Shut your trap," I grumbled.

"You'd find more cheer in a graveyard," Gimli observed as we trotted through the streets. It was true. Everyone there looked sullen and a little suicidal. It was kind of depressing, actually.

We were just passing some back alley when I caught a glimpse of someone who clearly didn't belong. First of all, he looked well fed and healthy. Second of all, he was lurking around the shadows, and third of all I thought I recognized him as the guy from before. He was gone as soon as I looked, though, so I shoved the train of thought aside for later.

"That's it," Total said, and he leaped out of Fang's lap and onto the ground, bristling and stretching his legs. "I can't sit on this goddamn horse for another two seconds."

"You weren't," Fang pointed out. "You were on my leg. It was uncomfortable."

"I'm with the dog on this one," I said, and slipped off the horse. I was hit with the familiar sensation of my legs being jelly that I sometimes got after a long fly. Nudge and Iggy followed suit. The rest of the Fellowship looked relieved, almost, like they thought it would be improper to _walk _through the streets. Well, I don't know about you, but I'd take discomfort over a really, really achey butt any day.

So we led the horses up to the castle/fortress thingy part of the town. They made us give up our weapons at the door. This bothered Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, and Gandalf made up some bullshit excuse as to why he should get to keep his staff, but I was kind of happy to get rid of the knives. I mean, they were nifty and all, but I felt more natural beating the crap outta people with my bare fists.

We entered the hall. It was lined with guards and civilians and I saw the woman from before, the one Aragorn was making lovey-dovey eyes at, next to a shrunken old guy at the very end who I assumed was the king. On his other side was a hunched over dude with greasy black hair that reminded me of a mousy, much-less-intimidating-than-the-books-and-movies-make-it-seem version of Severus Snape from, yep, you guessed it, Harry Potter. God, what was his name? Gremlin? Anyways, he bent down and whispered something into the king's ear, sneering at us.

"The courtesy of your hall has somewhat lessened of late, Theoden king," Gandalf said loudly. The greasy Snape dude muttered something else. I remembered that he was working for Saruman and he was sort of enforcing the whole mind control thing.

"Why… should I… welcome you? Gandalf… Stormcrow…" the king wheezed in a pitiful attempt at snarkiness.

"A just question, my liege," Snape guy stood up. "Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. Lathspell, I shall name him. Ill news is an ill guest."

"Unless the 'ill news' is kind of super important," I pointed out. He glared at me, but I ignored him. I mean, maybe any other day I would have gotten angry, but the G-man beat me to it.

"Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth! I have not passed through fire and death to bandy words with a witless worm!" he hissed, and raised his staff. Snape guy's jaw dropped.

"His staff!" he began backing away nervously. "I _told _you to take the wizard's staff!"

"Oh, please," Iggy snorted. "I'm _blind _and I knew he had it with him. How could you not notice a giant stick poking out of his freaking robes?"

The guards descended on us, fists flying. They were pretty okay, I'll hand it to them, but only for humans. We were all taking them out with ease. I was surprised to find myself working with Aragorn and Legolas to take down multiple at the same time. Not Gimli, though. I couldn't deal with his shortness, I'm sorry.


	14. Beat Ups and Baths

**Holy smokies. Got this up quicker than I thought I would. That's a good thing :)**

**Max POV**

As my fist crashed into the jaw of the last guard, I looked up to see Gandalf brandishing his staff. He started rattling off a bunch of booming orders in the old English-ey speak they spoke there. There was a thud as Theoden was slammed up against the back of his throne. The woman… Eowyn, was it? lunged forward, crying out, but Aragorn caught her around the stomach and swung her away.

"Wait," he warned. I caught his eye and snickered. He looked slightly livid. Snape guy tried to slither away, but Gimli stomped down on him. Hard. I think I might have heard a bone crunch. I gave the dwarf a thumbs up, and he bowed

At this point, the king was cackling maniacally and babbling about how Gandalf had no power here. Gandalf, looking annoyed, ripped off his cloak, revealing his blindingly white robes that emitted some sort of mini sunlight. I blinked and threw my hands in front of my eyes to keep them from melting off.

"If I go, Theoden _dies_," threatened the old king, grinning like a psychopath. There was some more banter, and some more slamming of kings against the backs of their thrones, and suddenly Theoden keeled forward onto the floor. Aragorn practically shoved Eowyn forward and she rushed to her… erm, grandpa? Uncle? Something like that's aid.

Theoden was suddenly looking a lot younger. And I mean _a lot _younger. While his skin had been wrinkles and wrinkles only and his hair long and white, now he looked in his mid-forties and was a ginger.

"Wow," said Fang, his words mirroring my thoughts. "Botox much?" I snorted.

"Eowyn… I know your face… Eowyn…" he whispered. Eowyn smiled and started to cry, probably in happiness, but you know, this could be some sort of dysfunctional family and what do I know?

"Gandalf?" Theoden looked up quizzically.

"Breathe the free air again, my friend," Gandalf said warmly. Everyone in the hall suddenly seemed a lot happier and there was a rumble of sound as they whispered into each other's' ears, laughing quietly or smiling.

"Dark have been my dreams of late," he said slowly, and he started to stand up. He was trembling.

"Perhaps your hands would better remember their own strength if they grasped your sword," Gandalf suggested, and one of the guards leaped forwards, lugging a long case along with him. He opened it up and presented it to the king, who reached down and picked up the sword that was inside it. It was long and shiny and heavy and looked like it was a lot more trouble than it was worth, but you know, the medieval guys and their swords. Besides, Fang seemed to like his just fine.

There was a shuffling from the corner.

"Yo, Gimli," I said. "All hands on deck."

He cocked his head for a second, but then got the message and stomped on Snape guy again, who was trying to escape. He whimpered in pain. Theoden turned to him, looking extremely pissed, and stomped forward. He grabbed Snape guy by the front of his shirt and dragged him to the door where he chucked him down the steps. Gimli happily helped him. I think he had some sort of thing against the guy, no clue why, though.

"I've only ever served you, my lord!" Snape guy managed.

"Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" the king snapped, raising his sword above his head. Snape guy whimpered and covered his head with his arms.

"No, my lord!" Aragorn jumped forward and practically tackled Theoden, wrenching the sword away so it cracked against the cobblestone street. "Let him go. Enough blood has been spilled on his account!"

"_On his account_?" I stared at him in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? Just because it was 'on his account' doesn't mean he shouldn't get his damn head lopped off."

_Max, _I almost jumped. The Voice hadn't really spoken much in a while. Not that I'm complaining, of course. _Remember who you are. You are the last._

_ The last what? _I gritted my teeth. _What are you talking about?_

_ Mercy is what sets you apart from your enemies. Killing in cold blood is not mercy, _the Voice said.

_Oh, right, _I remembered that conversation now. When I was going to let the Director drop to her death. Sometimes I still regret not doing it. Bitch deserved it.

"To kill in cold blood would make us no better than those we strive to defeat," Aragorn said to me. Funny how that's basically exactly what el Voice-o told me. Snape guy wasted no time stumbling to his feet and pushing his way through the crowd.

"Let him go," Theoden sighed, and the same guard from before ordered everyone to hail, Theoden king. Everyone knelt down and bowed, except for the Flock of course. We don't do bowing. Although it's kind of hard not to when Aragorn grabs your wrists and pulls you down by force. I glared at him.

"Show some respect, will you?" he said. "Please?"

I rolled my eyes, but didn't stand back up.

"Where is Theodred?" said Theoden suddenly. "Where is my son?"

He was met with a stifling silence, and I knew immediately that Theodred was dead, or missing, or dying or something. Gandalf stepped forward carefully and led the king back into the hall, speaking urgently but gently to him. As the two disappeared, the townsfolk began to wander off and the soldiers dissipated as well, probably to go do whatever they were doing before.

"Erm, now what?" said Iggy uncomfortably. I felt a little bad – this was a new place, a new busy place. He was probably having some trouble finding his way around without bumping into things. I was about to open my mouth and issue an order, when Eowyn materialized in front of us.

"I am Eowyn, Sheildmaiden of Rohan and niece to the King," she said. "For all you have done, I would like to thank you, and offer you hospitality."

"Hospitality would be great!" I said, before anyone else had a chance to speak. "You know what? Every single person here smells like… well, there actually isn't a word for how disgusting we smell. Baths would be very, very nice."

"Yes," she said, looking relieved. "Right away." She gestured at some servants and barked an order in a funny language.

"Ah, but what about food?" Gimli said. Nudge nodded so hard I think her brain might have been rattling around inside her skull.

"Yeah, yeah," she said. "I'm starving!"

"You can eat once you quit stinking up a storm," I said sternly. Nudge slumped, defeated. I was just glad Gazzy wasn't there. He ate less than Nudge, of course, since Nudge eats more than anyone I know, but he would probably be a lot louder about wanting chow.

"I, for one, am going to get something to eat," Aragorn said. I pushed him backwards as he took a step towards the door.

"You are so not," I said. "Priorities, people."

They finally caved in and everyone was led in separate ways by different servants. Mine was a girl who looked a year or two older than me. She was short and stick figure thin, her sharp face framed by golden curls. Her eyes were, like everyone else here's, bright blue.

"Here, m'lady," she said, showing me a room. There was a bathtub with water sitting inside it, being warmed by a flame.

"Um, you don't have to call me that," I said. "I'm not really ladylike. Like, at all."

"Huh?" the maid looked at me blankly, like I was challenging everything she'd ever known. "Yes, m'la – um, miss."

"Miss is weird, too," I said. "My name is Max. Just call me that."

"Whatever your wish is… Max," she tried out the words in her mouth curiously. "I will get you a dress."

"Ah!" I objected. "Not a dress!"

"Why not?" she looked confused. "M'lady would look very well in a dress."

"Max," I corrected her. "And seriously. Just get me some guy's clothes, please. I mean Oh yeah, and could you just leave them by the door? I'm a little self-conscious…"

That was total crap, of course. I didn't really mind another girl seeing me naked. Just as long as it was a girl. Back at the School, the creepiest dudes would examine me in the nude, and I was past discomfort. Though if any of them even tried, I would punch their brains out through their ass. I just wasn't about to let her see my wings. The maid nodded and backed out of the door, bowing. I tested the water. It wasn't quite warm enough yet, so I poked around the bathroom for soap. There was a bar next to the wash bowl, but I couldn't find anything else.

_Well, duh, this is, like, ancient times, _I told myself. _Of course they don't even have shampoo yet._

I stripped and hopped into the bathtub, sighing happily. It was perfect. Comfortable, beautiful, warm… I just wanted to go to sleep or something. But I reached down and grabbed the soap and the wash cloth and started scrubbing all over until I'd basically shed a layer of skin. Then I washed my hair with the bar of soap, too, even though I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to. Wings came next. I scrubbed between every primary, and right where they connected with my shoulder blades. Then I stretched them out, letting the tips touch the opposite wall of the room, and sighed, sinking down into the water. I snapped them back in quickly as the maid's arm appeared through a crack in the door and she deposited a change of clothes onto the floor. I glanced down and noticed that the water was practically dark brown by now, and jumped out of the tub, drying myself off with a towel and pulling the clothes on. They were a little awkward and didn't fit right in some places, but it was about ten times better than a _dress _so I wasn't complaining.

The maid was standing at the door when I walked out.

"Hi," I said. "Do you think there's anywhere I could go to get this stuff washed?"

I indicated my old clothes. They were dirty and ripped, but also worn into my shape. It felt more natural to fight in them.

"Ah – yes!" the maid gathered them up. "I will have them cleaned and mended for m'lady."

"_Max,_" I reminded her. "And thanks…?"

"Narissa," the maid supplied nervously. "'tis my name. But m'lady… Max, I'm only a servant. You don't need to strain yourself to remember it."

"_Strain _myself?" I snorted. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Thanks, Narissa. Now to go get something to nom on."

I left her standing there and found the main hall myself. The rest of the guys, minus Nudge, were gorging on chicken legs and toast and eggs and barely looked up as I sat down next to Fang. I looked down and saw that a metal plate was already waiting for me, so I piled it with food and gorged.

"Lady Max?" came a cautious voice.

"Hmrfl?" I mumbled through a mouthful of meat. I turned to see Eowyn standing there, fidgeting with her sleeve. I swallowed hard. "Yeah?"

"I was only wondering – if you…" she was interrupted by Nudge who bounded into the room and called out my name.

"Look at my dress, Max!" she twirled around, showing off the pale blue gown that swept around majestically. She was grinning happily as she mimicked the way the ladies here walked around daintily. She gave up when she saw the food, though, and fell on it like a starving dog.

"It's really pretty, Nudge," I said doubtfully. What was she thinking? How could she ever expect to be able to _fight _in that thing? Eowyn saw the look on my face and quickly inserted herself into the conversation.

"Don't worry, I had all the servants keep your old clothes, so they can be washed and re-used," she said.

"Jeezums, thanks," I sighed in relief. "Knowing Nudge, she probably thinks these," I indicated the clothes I wore. "Are totally last season or something."

Nudge elbowed me good naturedly and returned to her food.

"What did you want to say?" I asked Eowyn. She shook her head.

"Oh, nevermind. It is unimportant," she said. "I must attend to my Uncle now, if you do not mind me leaving…?"

"What?" why was she asking me for permission? She outranked me in this place at least. "Um, yeah, sure, go ahead."

This posh medieval stuff really didn't float my boat.

"Do I smell alright?" Fang smirked. I turned to him and pretended to sniff all over the place.

"Yes, you smell like roses," I affirmed.

"And roses really smell like poo, poo, poo, poo!" Total sang. The entire room somehow heard this and spun around, staring at the small dog in amazement.

"Uh," he said. "Woof woof. Arf arf. Look at me, I'm a dog!"

"You get used to it," I said hopefully.

"Aye," said Gimli. "The dog talks. But it would be wrong to assume what he has to say is unimportant."

"It would be perfectly wise," said Fang. Total growled and nipped him on the arm.

**Third Person POV, centered on Angel**

Angel swooped above the giant, metal, pointy, black wall and shuddered. She didn't fancy landing on one of those spikes. She would probably be skewered.

The entire place was swarming with orcs and trolls and other weird creatures she'd never heard of before, let alone seen. None of them bothered to look up, though. There was only one thing that saw her, and all it could do was see. Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. She could hear it whispering in her mind, but she blocked it out. It was kind of annoying.

_I see you, girl, _she'd lost concentration and with a particularly large push the Eye had forced the message into her brain.

"Oh no!" she yelled at it. It glared at her from about half a kilometer away. "You _see _me! How tragic!"

_I see you_, it repeated.

"What are you going to do, stare me to death?" she shouted. It snarled and she zipped forward. Less than a minute later, she was right in front of it. She thrust her face right up to the fiery eyeball and screamed, "My name is Angel, and I want to talk to you!"


	15. Some Stuff is Set Into Motion

**I know this chapter's a bit short, but when I come back from vacation I'll have a nice long one ready as a Christmas (or whatever else you celebrate) present :)**

**Max POV**

"You wanted to talk to me?" Fang said. I nodded and pulled him into some side room.

"Something's up. Something weird," I told him. He nodded.

"Yes," he said. "That would be the coming-back-to-life wizards and the elves and the dwarves and the hobbits and the fact that we're in a castle right now."

"No, I mean, like, real world weird," I scowled. "I saw someone. While we were coming here."

"Who?" This got his attention.

"I don't know, but he sort of looked familiar. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm sure I've seen him before. He disappeared before I had a chance to get a good look."

"You sure?" Fang said. I nodded. He looked a little doubtful, but decided to roll with it, which is a good thing because if he hadn't I would have beat him until he believed me. "That's not the only thing. Your shoulder."

I looked down. "What about it? Seems fine to me."

"That's just it, it's fine," said Fang. "I mean, we have wicked fast healing powers, but that's just weird. I mean, you've been jostling it around and not getting any sleep and barely eating. It shouldn't be quite healed yet."

"Maybe I'm developing a new spiffy ability," I suggested. "That would be cool. I feel like I have lame abilities."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Only…"

"Only what?"

"Only nothing."

"Tell me, mister, or I won't hesitate to beat it out of you."

He sighed and pulled up his shirt, pointing to a spot on his beautiful, finely-toned abs – I mean, stomach. "I didn't say anything then, but I got a gash here. A pretty big one. Same thing happened. Mega quick heal."

"And you didn't tell me?" I gaped.

"It didn't seem important at the time."

"You just said it was pretty big!"

"I didn't want to worry you," he grumbled.

"Yeah?" I snapped. "Well what if magic heal didn't magic appear? What if you'd gotten an infection, or bled out, and died? What _then_, Fang? What then?"

"Then I would be dead," Fang said. "But I'm not. So I don't understand what you're mad about."

"You don't understand what I'm – _My point is _it's a lot better to _worry _me than make me go around without you," I shouted. "Last time you said you were fine, you almost died!"

"Technically, that wasn't the last time I ever said I was fine," he pointed out.

"Not the point!" I said angrily, throwing my arms up in exasperation. Someone knocked on the door and pushed it open, and I spun around to yell at them. "What's the point of knocking on a door if you're just gonna barge in anyways?"

"I'm sorry, Lady Max," said Legolas, blinking slowly. "I heard raised voices and just wondered if anything was the matter."

"We're fine here, just fine," I said scathingly. "I was just leaving."

I pushed past the pointy eared elf and stormed into the hall.

"She has a bit of a temper," I heard Fang say apologetically as before I was out of earshot. I grumbled some insults under my breath and stomped to where my room was. As I slammed open the door I noticed Narissa, who was making up my bed. She jumped backwards, looked ashamed.

"I'm sorry, miss Max," she said. "I didn't realize you would be coming back in here so soon."

"No problem," I fumed and dropped into a chair, crossing my legs and glowering.

"I have made you angry," Narissa paled and flinched away, like she thought I was gonna beat her or something.

"No," I said. "My possibly maybe a little bit sorta _boyfriend_ made me angry."

"Lord Fang?" I might have imagined it, but I think she smirked at me a little. "I am sorry, Lady Max."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing at something dark and neatly folded on the table and purposefully trying to pull the conversation away from Fang so I could be pissed at him by myself.

"A dress, for you," said Narissa.

"Oi, didn't I already say I don't do dresses?" I glared at her, but she did the pale/flinch thing again and I stopped.

"For the late Lord Theodred's funeral," Narissa explained. "Lord Aragorn ordered me 'to make sure she puts it on, otherwise I will personally behead her'."

"Wow," I said. "I didn't think the guy had the guts."

I stood up and unfolded the dress, examining it. The back was too low. It wouldn't work.

"Hey," I said. "Was this super expensive or something?"

"No," Narissa flushed. "It's one of Lady Eowyn's old ones, ma'am, I'm sorry. Is it not to your taste?"

"Nah, it's fine, for a dress," I said. "But, I mean, the back part. It's a bit… revealing."

Narissa took it in her hands and looked at me quizzically.

"You don't have anything higher, do you?" I asked.

"I – I will see what I may do," she said, folding up the dress again. "Excuse me, miss."

She melted out of the door with a deep bow and I picked an apple up from the bowl on the windowsill. The mutant freak in me was making me hungry. I chomped down on the fruit, eating it quickly. Five minutes later, Narissa reappeared with a similar pitch black dress, but this time with a back that spiked up the neck and gold rimmed cuffs. I wrinkled my nose: for a dress, even, it was pretty ugly, but I thanked her and asked when the funeral was going to be.

"Tomorrow morning at the tenth hour," my maid informed me.

"Cool," I said. "Cool. I'm gonna… go to bed. Now. So… if anyone asks where I am, just tell them to bug off and let me sleep, I'm flippin' exhausted. Oh yeah, and if you see Fang, would you mind telling him he's an idiot?"

"Lord Fang?" Narissa's hand fluttered across her chest. "But… that would be improper of me. I am merely a servant."

"Okay, then I _order _you to tell him he's an idiot," I amended. "Sound good."

She smiled mischievously and nodded, curtsying, and left me alone. I clambered into the bed and fell asleep immediately.

**Third Person POV (Gazzy)**

The only thing that could be heard in the forest other than the chirping of birds and the heavy footsteps was the nasally voice of Weird Al Yankovic echoing off the trees.

"_We been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise,_" the Gasman sang, sounding exactly like Weird Al in every way, shape, and form, even though he was most definitely _not_. Yankovic was a rich and famous singer with an awesome job. Gazzy was a mutant bird kid riding on the head of a giant walking tree.

"Gasman!" Merry said, not angrily, but more like a light bulb had pinged on inside his head. "Shut up!"

"Why?" Gazzy said, looking disappointed.

"Wait!" Merry called down to Treebeard. "Stop. Stop! Take us south!"

"South?" Treebeard bristled. "But that would take you past Isengard."

"Yes, exactly," Pippin seemed to get exactly what Merry was going at, but Gazzy was completely lost. "If we go south, we can slip past the devil unnoticed. The close we are to danger, the farther we are from harm. It's the last thing he'll expect."

"… you guys are retards," Gazzy said bluntly.

"That doesn't make much sense to me, but I suppose you _are _very small," Treebeard said thoughtfully. "Hold on, Shirelings - "

"I'm not a Shireling!" Gazzy interjected.

"I always liked going south. It feels like I'm going downhill," Treebeard mused. Gazzy spun around.

"Are. You. Insane." It wasn't a question. "We. Are. Going. To. Be. Killed."

"No, no we won't," said Pippin confidently. "Not this time."

And then Gazzy got it. "Hohsmokes. You're a genius. This is _sooo _not going to work."

"Aren't we?" Merry grinned. "It'll work."

Treebeard started rambling on about stuff no one really cared about again, and they settled in for more boredom. They didn't get it. A half an hour later, the giant tree froze.

"Many of these trees were my friends! Creatures I knew from nut and acorn!"

"I'm sorry, Treebeard," Pippin said, not entirely genuinely.

The entire forest was burned down. Dead trees lay strewn across the ground. Ash floated through the air like snow. The desolate landscape stretched miles and miles, all the way down to Isengard, where Saruman lived.

"Saruman!" Treebeard roared. "A wizard should know better! There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of man for this treachery!"

"Actually, I think I just came up with one," said Gazzy. Turning to Pippin he said, "if I say it, will you promise not to tell Max?"

The hobbits nodded solemnly and Gazzy let loose a string of cuss words so bad they would have made even the toughest gangstah of all time proud.

"My business is with Isengard tonight. With rock and with stone," Treebeard continued with a snarl. "Haaarrroooom… Come, my friends. The Ents are going to war. And it is likely we go to our doom. Last march of the Ents!"

There were several loud crashes as the other Ents started emerging from the forest. Merry hissed a quick "Yes!" and Pippin punched the air.

Gazzy, to celebrate, started to croon his favorite verse from Amish Paradise.


	16. In Which There Is Some Fighting

**Happy Holidays, guys :) I hope you have a great time celebrating whatever you celebrate!**

** Third Person POV**

Doctor Leonard Tessorori dropped the clipboard onto the counter sharply and turned to face the Director angrily.

"I don't want to put him in danger," he snapped, and then realized exactly how he'd just said that statement. He bit his lip and shrank backwards, trying to look as innocent as possible so the Director would overlook the fact that he was being terribly insubordinate.

"He isn't in any danger," the Director said testily. "It's all psychological. And besides, he's simply there to observe. And don't speak to me like that, boy."

"Observe. Meaning test combat capabilities, as well," Tessorori pointed out calmly, although he flinched away from her calling him 'boy'. Perhaps for someone as old as her (the Director, who was infused with tortoise DNA, was over one hundred years old, but looked around forty something) he was young, but he was nearly thirty and not a '_boy'_. "And maybe it is all psychological, but emotional scars can be just as disabling as physical ones."

"Nonsense," she scoffed. "Physical scars do not hinder the body's operation in the least, not unless they're on something other than the epidermis. That's what you're referring to, right?"

"I… that's not the…" he sighed. "Yes, ma'am."

"Why do you even care, Doctor?" Marian Janssen eyed the 'whitecoat', as many of the experiments had dubbed those with his occupation, with curiosity.

"I don't," said Tessorori quickly. "But he was very long in the making, not to mention expensive. We wouldn't want to waste him. It's one thing if the failed avian experiments come out vegetables, but Epsilon is a finely conditioned soldier who can still be very, very useful to our cause."

"You're right, of course," Janssen shrugged her shoulders. "But if his mind can't even take this, then he is obviously not good enough."

Tessorori opened his mouth to object, but thought better of it and merely nodded stiffly.

"I'll be in my office, working through some of this goddamn paperwork," the Director continued. "I suggest you do the same. This new project is getting pretty complicated."

"Right," Tessorori nodded and watched the Director's back as she swept out of the lab room. Once she was gone, he looked down at the boy on the gurney next to him. His shaved head had fingerlike cables stuck to it, shooting images into his mind. His eyes moved beneath the lids as he reacted to the images in different ways. The doctor checked on his brain waves, as well. They seemed to be doing fine. For now, at least, Epsilon was safe.

Epsilon was from a long line of experiments, but was only the fourth vaguely successful one. The first, Sampi, or 900, had expired after mere weeks. Omega, 800, had been retired after failing to take out Experiment 204, even after extensive testing. Kappa, 20, had been inside a facility recharging his batteries when the same experiment had destroyed it. Needless to say, the scientists had eliminated the necessity of battery charged humans after that incident. Epsilon was 5.

Some clever higher-up in the Numeral project had decided to be optimistic and call the productions of their experimentations by Greek numbers, going backwards. So the very first attempt had been Sampi+rho, or 1,000, and it had gone down from there.

So 995 failed trials had come up with Epsilon. As previously stated, very, very few Numerals made it. They were generally dead before they even took their first breath. Sometimes, though, they would get something right, and the unit would make it. That was rare, though, and generally when anyone attempted to recreate it they came up with nothing but a dismal failure.

Tessorori had been a lowly intern when he'd come up with the idea for Epsilon. All the other Numerals were patchworks: little bits of different people, or experiments, generally genetically enhanced and then stuck together like extremely humanoid Frankensteins. Epsilon was different. Tessorori had observed the other whitecoats at work and decided that, in general, the experiments grown originally from human fetuses seemed to be much more successful. He presented his hypothesis to Dr. Welsch, the head of the Numerals project, and was shocked and pleased to find it was immediately accepted.

He didn't predict that the fetus used would be that of his own son.

Leonard Tessorori had been married to Lynette Tessorori two years previously. A year later, she'd gotten pregnant with their child. Unfortunately, she delivered much, much too early, almost unnaturally early. Lynette hadn't made it. Tessorori had been told his child hadn't, either, but a little poking around told him otherwise. He didn't let on that he was aware Epsilon was his son, because he knew if they found out he knew they would take him off the job in the blink of an eye, and he wanted to be with his kid as long as possible, even if it meant raising him to be a vicious killing machine.

Looking down at Epsilon, Tessorori wondered absently how, exactly, they had made the boy grow so quickly. Both physically and mentally, he was at least fifteen, although in reality he was a little over one. Sometimes he wished he was more of a geneticist, and wasn't just along for the ride, the observation, and the technology. That's what he was, a techie. It was sometimes frustrating to be in a room full of genius scientists and be stuck working the projector.

The 'doctor' sighed and looked down the row of gurneys. On each of the seven lay an experiment, all hooked up to the neural transformers and twitching in their plagued sleep. There was a dog in the corner, attached to a much smaller version of the machine. He checked each of the transformers carefully for any malfunction, and then turned to leave.

Before he shut the door, he took one last look at the sleeping children and frowned. He thought he'd seen one move just a bit too much to be normal. He shook the thought away and labeled it as paranoia as he clicked the door shut.

**Max POV**

Another funeral.

I didn't even know the guy, but that didn't make it any better. As they brought the coffin down the aisle, I kept on flashing back to the other times I'd seen other dead things brought down aisles, in carts or cages, or just plain dragged by Erasers, sometimes leaving smears of blood behind them, and I gulped. Why did this guy get a proper burial, when all those poor experiments weren't even taken from their death bed with a sliver of respect? It wasn't fair.

I almost laughed out loud and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. There's no such thing as fair. Life isn't fair. How many times had I repeated that to the Flock, and to our enemies, and to myself? I couldn't keep track. A lot. But still, I felt a twinge of envy. Or anger. No sadness, which made me hate myself a little. Had I gotten to the point where death didn't faze me at all? I hadn't ever met Theodred, but he had still been a human being who could have had a future being king or some crap like that. He didn't deserve to have his grave mind-pissed on by little old me.

One look at Fang told me he was thinking the exact same thing, and we shared a nice, long, meaningful stare as Eowyn's grief-racked cries echoed through the chilly air. It was supposed to be a song, but the notes weren't coming out right. They caught in her chest and were disfigured by sobs. I thought of Ari again, and his funeral, and I almost felt a little like crying, too. But me crying was not an option. Not with the Flock to take care of, and a reputation to uphold with those damned sexist men.

After the funeral, everyone left but Theoden and Gandalf. They stayed down there to talk. The Fellowship and Eowyn gathered in the main hall in silence. Nudge fidgeted with her dress. Like mine, it was high-backed and uncomfortable, but we couldn't afford to let the giant feathery things on our backs visible. Eowyn was wiping tears from her eyes and straightening her back. It looked like she'd resolved to quit crying. Aragorn, who sat across from her, stared at her comfortingly.

The heavy doors creaked open and all the guards bowed in respect as the king and Gandalf strode in. They had two kids in tow. One looked maybe eleven or twelve, the other no older than eight at the most. They stumbled along sleepily. The little girl rubbed her eyes.

"Mama?" she said blearily. Eowyn rushed forward, grateful for a distraction, and grabbed the kids, leading them to the table and shoving them down.

"Can we get some food here?" she called. A servant nodded briskly and rushed away, muttering orders at his fellows.

The two kids sat next to me, of course. Probably because of my sweet motherly aura. Wink wink nudge nudge. The girl turned to me. "Where's my mama?"

"I dunno," I said. "Fang, where's her mama?"

Fang shrugged. "Hey Ig. Where's the kid's mom?"

"Ask Nudge," said Iggy. "Nudge?"

"Oh," Nudge looked apologetic. "Me and her were hanging out and I lost her in the Candy Cane Forest."

The little girl giggled and her brother smiled. A servant bustled in and dropped two steaming bowls of soup in front of the kids.

"What happened?" Eowyn asked the boy gently. After slurping up the entire bowl, he recounted how his village had been attacked by 'hill people' and he and his sister had escaped to warn the king that Saruman was coming.

"They were defenseless. They had no warning," Eowyn said, turning to her uncle. "Now the wildmen are moving through the Westfold, burning everything as they go."

"Where's mama?" the little girl asked again. Eowyn shushed her.

"This is but a taste of the terror Saruman will unleash. All the more potent now that he has Sauron to fear. Ride out and meet him head on. Drive him away from your women and children," Gandalf leaned forward and put his hand on Theoden's chair. The kind looked at it warily. "You must fight."

"I have a better idea," I announced. "How 'bout you bring the women _with _you on your little ass-kicking plan, and leave the crumbly _old _people and the children. Seems a lot more logical to me."

"This isn't the time for your foolish attacks on gender politics, Maximum," Gandalf said, brushing me away.

"Oh, yeah, because, you know, human rights and women's suffrage is _totally _foolish," I snapped. "You're really not going to survive the future. It would be a living hell for you losers, what with women being _doctors _and _world leaders _and - "

"Pardon?" said Legolas.

"Nothing!" said the entire Flock simultaneously.

"Would you have us sacrifice our women, boy? They are not as capable as us men," a guard said rather loudly, looking at Nudge meaningfully. I froze. Okay, honestly. The first time, I'd been angry, but now I was kind of getting worried, to be completely honest with you. I mean, sure I'd changed back into my clothes from before right after the funeral, _sure _I wasn't wearing any makeup, sure long hair on dudes was pretty common here, but do I really look that much like a boy? I mean, I've never really cared what I look like, but I've always counted on the fact that I was pretty obviously female looking. I glanced down, worried.

"… am I really that flat?" I said weakly. Fang burst out laughing, Gimli spat up water he'd been drinking all over Nudge who was giggling hard as well, and Legolas turned away, hiding his face. Aragorn looked faintly ashamed and Gandalf was chuckling. Iggy looked ready to piss his pants, and Total was off all fours, struggling to breathe between maniacal cackles. "What? Shut up!"

"She's… a girl… stupid," Iggy managed. "Duh. We've only been here for a day or two."

"Totally obvy," Nudge scoffed, still grinning. "Ig's the blind one, shouldn't you stupid idiots be able to tell something as obvious as _gender_?"

"You have two thousand good men riding north at the moment," Aragorn said, struggling to return the conversation to where it had begun. Really I think he was just hoping he could change the subject quickly enough for me to not get a chance to yell at him for his previous offenses. "Eomer is loyal to you."

"They will be three hundred leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us," Theoden sighed. "I know what you wish of me. I will not sacrifice more of my people. I will not risk open war," then he turned to me. "If it makes you feel any better, I knew you were female at once, even in my taken-over-by-Saruman, senile old man state."

"Thanks," I grumbled.

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not," Aragorn objected.

"Last I looked, Theoden, and not Aragorn was king of Rohan," Theoden retorted. That shut the ranger up.

"Then what is the king's decision?" asked Gandalf coolly. Gimli burped loudly and sucked down some more beer. Nudge looked at him, horrified, as she realized it wasn't water he'd spat up all over her, but booze.

"Helm's Deep," said Theoden quietly.

"Come again?" Total said. All the Rohan peeps winced. They still weren't used to the whole talking dog thing.

Gandalf fumed and stood up to leave. He beckoned for us to follow. "Hey!" I called after him as we all stood to scurry and follow him. "What the hell is Helmet's Deep?"

"_Helm's _Deep, genius," Fang said. "Think."

I thought. I remembered. Oooh, this was so going to be so, so fun. I could hardly wait. I grinned.

There's something seriously wrong with me for thinking that, isn't there?

_Definitely, _this time, I did jump, and swore under my breath. Fang looked at me curiously, but I ignored him. _Maximum, loss of human life is nothing to laugh at. You, of all people, should know this._

_ Yeah, sure, _I thought back. _Only thing is, this is a freaking _movie, _Voice. Purely fictional._

_ I'm sure that's exactly what you thought during both of the funerals you've attended since landing here, _the Voice sounded slightly annoyed, even though it didn't at the same time. Voices don't really have emotions, see, but they can still seem pretty pissed when they try. I know this because I'm batshit crazy. _And this was originally a book, actually._

_ Oh, I'm sorry, professor, _I 'said'. _And besides, what are you doing in my head, reading my thoughts? That's Angel's job, and in case you haven't noticed Angel isn't here. She's busy saving this world in a different place._

_ Maximum. You were created to save the world. A savior cannot be as cold hearted as this._

_ Oh yeah? Well guess what. She is. You can't spend your entire life like I have and be a total softie who flips at the _thought _of some little bug biting the dust. And since when were you the expert on morals? I don't understand what you – _

"Maximum!" Gandalf barked. I realized we were in a different room and I'd probably missed Gandalf's entire explanation because I was busy having a pissy fight with the Voice in my head.

Yeah, I'm totally sane.

"Um, what?" I said innocently.

"I _asked _you what you thought about all this, since you seem so keen to lead," the old wizard said. I don't know why, but the guy seriously doesn't like me. I mean, he's fine with the rest of the Flock, and he's best buds with all the other Fellowship dudes, but I am just totally in his bad books for, like, no reason.

"I agree," I said firmly. Then, trusting that Aragorn with his big mouth had come up with something, "With Mr. Broody Emopants Mc-I-Work-Alone."

"Then we are agreed," Gandalf said. He nodded and swept away.

Once he was out of earshot I asked, "What are we agreed on?"

"Nothing," said Fang. I raised an eyebrow. "No, seriously, nothing. Broody Emopants just said we should go with it. Didn't you, Broody Emopants?"

"That's me, isn't it?" Aragorn sighed. "Yes, that is what I had suggested."

"Helm's Deep!" Gimli rumbled. "They flee when they should stand and fight!"

"He is only doing what he thinks is best for his people," said Aragorn. "Helm's Deep has saved them in the past. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Gimli and Legolas followed him as he stepped out of the room.

"You guys go chill out somewhere else, I'll brb," I said, and tailed after the three. Hah, that rhymes! Brb, three?

They were already announcing that everyone should pack up their stuff, and that they were going to leave. I caught up with Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn quickly. The dwarf was still griping about how stupid Theoden was being. We entered some stables. Gandalf was prepping Shadowfax to leave.

"You bailing on us?" I demanded. Gandalf shook his head no.

"There is no way out of that ravine. Théoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them to safety. What they will get is a massacre," Gandalf said. "Théoden has a strong will but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan. He will need you before the end, Aragorn. The people of Rohan will need you. The defences _have_ to hold."

"They will hold," Aragorn assured him.

"What are we, chopped liver?" I said impatiently, referring to Gimli, Legolas and I, but also Fang, Nudge, and Iggy.

Not Total, though. The dog was useless in a fight, no offense.

"Not the time, Maximum," Gandalf looked annoyed.

"Go," Aragorn said with finality. The wizard nodded briskly and slapped Shadowfax on the side, muttering something in Elf Latin. The horse sprang forward at a ridiculous speed, almost flattening Legolas, and galloped out of the city.

**Third Person POV (Angel)**

Angel shivered as she stood in front of the giant double doors made of what looked like obsidian, but couldn't possibly have been. They looked too solid, and they emanated something cold that made her blood freeze and her breath catch.

A very creepy guy opened the doors and slipped out to meet her. He had flimsy looking grey skin and the area around his mouth was all cut up.

"Who're you?" she asked.

"My Lord's most loyal servant," the creepy Mouth guy said. That's what she would call him. Mouth.

"Is that really a great way to identify yourself?" Angel queried. "As someone's servant?"

"Who are _you_?" Mouth said coolly.

"I'm Angel," said Angel.

"A fitting name," said Mouth, eying her wings with some curiosity. Angel felt her feathers stiffen and stick up. She didn't like people staring, but she had already let their existence be well known, so what was the point of condemning them to more cramping underneath her shirt and jacket?

"No," she said. "You don't understand. My name is Angel, yes, but that's also who I am. What I am. I am an angel."

A total lie, of course, but that was kind of the point.

"An… angel," Mouth looked slightly doubtful. Only slightly. "That's… believable, actually. Quite believable."

"Because it's true!" Angel jabbed her thumb in the direction of her pure white wings and fluttered them a little. "When was the last time you saw a normal person with wings?"

"Not anytime recent," Mouth admitted.

"And in paintings – the paintings don't lie. They always show little girl angels. That's me," she said with mock pride. "I'm one of them. I'm the leader of all of them, actually."

"And why are you here, may I ask?" Mouth said. "I am all but positive anything as pure as an angel would like anything to do with my Lord."

"You're wrong," Angel smirked. "_My _Lord sent me to assist you. He likes your mission statement. Thinks it's pretty legit and all. And I know Sauron has already decided to accept me, you don't have to keep on giving me a hard time. It's annoying."

"What – but – how do you know?" Mouth gaped.

"You're his Mouth. You know what he knows. You think what he thinks. You are his vessel. And I have a window into you," Angel explained. "It's a side effect. When you become an angel. Sometimes you learn to do funny things."

"Where are you staying?" Mouth said.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm an angel. I have a five star hotel following me wherever I go," Angel shrugged and smiled. "I'm done here. Bye, Mouth! It was nice meeting you!"

Mouth was taken aback. Nobody had ever told him it was nice meeting him before. Usually he beheaded them before they got the chance.

Angel skipped out of the tower and jumped off the nearest convenient cliff. She flew back to where she, Frodo, Sam and Gollum had been before and didn't see them there. She did an aerial sweep of the entire marsh. They weren't there. She checked the gate. Not there, either. She tried to catch the hobbits' scent. She couldn't locate it. She did get Gollum's, though, seeing as he smelled so bad. She caught the scent and followed it. Sometimes it would disappear or become fainter and it would take a while to find it again, but a day or two later she located the two hobbits and Gollum. Angel muttered a swear word, and then clapped her hand over her mouth instinctively before she remembered Max wasn't there to chastise her for bad language.

Max. She missed Max. Max was so much tougher than the three weirdoes she was hanging out with now. And she was a better leader than Frodo by far.

But anyways, that wasn't the point. The _point _was that Frodo, Sam, and Gollum had gone and gotten themselves captured. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Couldn't they take care of themselves for a couple days without her around? She scowled and touched down a little ways away from where she knew they were being held. A quick recon told her that their captives were human, from Gondor, and not entirely hostile. Still, when she broke in she found the hobbits tied to chairs, so that couldn't be a good sign.

"Angel!" Frodo yelled after she slipped through the door and put a finger to her lips. She blinked.

"Hi," she said. "Um, there are a lot of people around. I know it's too late now, but next time could you _please _not give me away? This was supposed to be a stealth thing."

Frodo, looking horrified at himself, nodded and shut his mouth. There was a shout from nearby and Angel felt someone grab her arms roughly. She didn't bother trying to fight back. She was leaning more towards intel gathering at the moment.

"Another friend of yours?" said a calm voice. Angel looked up to see a tall blonde man strut into view. He had crazy blue, piercing eyes and an unconcerned gait that clearly said, 'I'm in charge here'. "Faramir."

Frodo gulped and nodded.

"What are orc spies doing with young human girls?" Faramir looked slightly sickened, but Angel didn't understand why.

"Ah!" Sam stuttered, gaping, understanding clear on his face. "Oh, god, no, it's not like that. It's not like that _at all._"

"We would never, ever – that would be bad. Very bad. Very, _very, _bad," Frodo said defensively, looking even more horrified.

"I don't get it," Angel pouted. She peered into their minds but didn't understand much that was in there, either. It looked a little weird to her, though, and she quickly withdrew.

"That's probably a good sign," Faramir said, relaxing a little, but still looking suspicious.

"And what was that about orc spies?" Sam said in an effort to steer the conversation somewhere a little more appropriate. "We ain't no spies!"

"Well, if you aren't spies, then what are you?" Faramir asked. Neither Sam nor Frodo said anything. "Speak."

"We're hobbits of the Shire. My name is Frodo Baggins, and this is Samwise Gamgee."

"Your bodyguard?" Faramir said.

"His gardener," said Sam bitterly. Angel giggled.

"And where is your skulking friend? That gangrel creature. He had an ill favored look," said Faramir.

_If he finds out about Gollum, it could get dangerous. _"There was no other," Frodo thought and said, respectively. Angel frowned and decided to play along.

"Maybe you're thinking about me," she piped up. "I can be very… gan – gang - gangrel."

"We set out from Rivendell with thirteen companions. One we lost in Moria. Two were my kin, and five were Angel's. A dwarf there was also, and an elf. There were two men, also, Aragorn, son of Arathorn and Boromir of Gondor."

Faramir stiffened. "You were a friend of Boromir?" he said intently, leaning forward.

"For my part, yes," said Frodo. _He nearly killed me, _was what he really thought. _But other than that, he wasn't bad at all._

"It will grieve you, then, to know that Boromir is dead," said Faramir. His eyes began to water a bit and he blinked furiously. Angel read many grief-stricken thoughts.

"Dead? How? When?" Frodo cried.

"As one of his companions, I'd hoped you would tell me," said Faramir grimly. "He was my brother."

Frodo and Sam looked sad and sympathetic. Angel felt a twang of regret, but didn't dwell on it. She'd moved onto:_ if he's dead, what about Max? And Fang, and Iggy, and Nudge and Total and… _she gulped_. Gazzy._

**Max POV**

"It's true you don't see many dwarf women," Gimli boomed. "In fact, they're so alike in voice and appearance that they're often mistook for dwarf men!"

"It's the beards," whispered Aragorn. Nudge giggled.

"And this, in turn, has given rise to the belief that there _are _no dwarf women! That we just… simply spring out of the ground!" he jumped to illustrate his point. Eowyn laughed. "Haha, which is ridiculous of course - "

He broke off as his horse suddenly charged forward and bucked, throwing him off. "Oh!" Eowyn said, still grinning, and she ran forward to make sure he was okay.

"Oi, Beardo, you good?" I called.

"It's alright, I'm alright!" he threw his arms up. "Nobody panic! It was deliberate, that was deliberate!"

"Suuuure it was," Iggy rolled his sightless eyes. "Haha, loser."

At that moment he tripped over a dirt clod and landed flat on his face. "Shut up," he muttered as he looked up to see all of us cracking up.

"That, my friend, is what we call 'karma'," said Legolas.

"You can say that again," I choked.

"I'm frickin' blind! What do you expect?" Iggy said loudly.

"A lot more from a child who can run for over three days, nearly straight, and not break his neck tripping over the abundance of roots and stones littering his path," Aragorn said matter-of-factly. Fang silently held his hand up for a high-five, which the ranger awkwardly returned.

A few hours later, I found myself walking next to Fang. We were lagging behind on orders to keep stragglers from falling behind and accidentally being left out here to die. The line of citizens migrating to Helm's deep was very long, and every once in a while we would have to shove some old lady up back with her family or drag a little kid back to his fretting parents. He and I were kind of avoiding each other a little. Or maybe I was just giving him the cold shoulder, I don't know. Either way.

"Max," said Fang after we'd had a long period of time with nothing to do. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would make you so mad."

I looked at him in surprise. I didn't think he was going to apologize. Fang isn't the type of person to say sorry. I was just planning on holding the whole almost-fatal-wound-he-didn't-tell-me-about thing over his head for a while to teach him a lesson and then get back to the whole awkward sort of almost boyfriend/girlfriend relationship thing.

"Yeah…" I said. "I overreacted a little, I know. I know it's not that big of a deal."

"I just thought that you had enough on your plate already. I didn't want to be all needy," he shrugged. "And besides, I didn't die, so it's all good, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said. Then I punched his shoulder. "But if you ever do that again, you _will _die. By my hand."

He smiled mischievously and took my hand in his. My heart fluttered at his touch and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. "So we're cool?"

"We're cool," I confirmed. We hovered closer and closer together until finally we were leaning on each other, whispering jokes and telling stories about how the primitiveness of this society had totally screwed us up.

We were interrupted by a scream that rang out over the hill just ahead of us. Legolas was on it in a second, darting forward and shooting something. He scowled and turned around.

"A scout!" he warned. Fang and I ran up front as quickly as we could.

"What is it? What do you see?" Theoden asked from his position among his guards.

"Wargs! We're under attack!" yelled Aragorn.

"Wait wait wait, back up, what are wargs?" I said.

"Big, big wolf things," Gimli explained. Ah, now I remembered. Something clicked in my brain and the leader part of me decided to take over, ignoring the fact that Aragorn and Theoden would probably have a hissy fit later.

"Fang, Gimli, Aragorn, you six!" I said, indicating my friends and half a dozen soldiers. "Straight forward. Part the crowd. Loud, flashy, distract. Iggy! You got any bang bang?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Iggy produced what looked like a large homemade grenade.

"Cool. Use it only if you really have to, and _don't _use it if it means taking some of our side with 'em. Nudge! Legolas! Grab some long range peeps, head _away _from here and pick the bad guys off from afar," I ordered. Then I turned to the large remaining clump of Rohirrim. "Everyone from ginger hair to the left, stay here. On ginger hair's right, come with me. Ginger hair, you and your crowd hang back for, like, five, ten minutes. You get to be the calvary." I turned to Theoden. "Sound like a plan, _your highness_?"

He didn't object, just scowled and gave me a look that said _I'll kill you later_, so I snapped my fingers at my stalling minions. "Move it, dumbtards!"

The soldiers and Fellowship members scurried to heed my commands. Fang, Gimli, Aragorn and their group caught the amassing group of wargs and their riders off guard by charging directly into the middle of it all while my squad split up and ran around them, attacking from the sides. None of this happened, though, before I overheard Eowyn begging to be allowed to fight. Theoden shot her down immediately and it was all I could do not to go up there and slug him in the gut.

A warg charged up to me. It was fatter but shorter than an Eraser, so I was guessing heavier, which could cause some problems. I sidestepped as it leaped forward and attempted to bite my head off, narrowly avoiding the sword of the orc that rode on it. It landed and skidded, frothing at the mouth and snarling. I grinned menacingly as it started running towards me. This time I was ready. Instead of dodging, I jumped. Really, really high. We bird freaks can do that. So four meters later I started to drop and landed directly on the warg's butt. The orc screamed what I assumed were profanities at me and twisted, slashing at me with his weapon. I drew my knives and blocked all his blows with loud _clangs. _

It was an awkward situation. He was twisted in his seat, I was twisted in mine, and the warg was off doing its own thing. Probably eating kittens or something. So finally I managed to spin myself around so I was facing the orc's back. This gave me mega upper hand and I whammed into him, throwing him off the warg.

Strategy: success. I now had complete control over the warg. I flicked the whip that was in the saddle pack and steered the giant wolf thing towards another. The rider must have heard the pounding of warg footsteps and assumed it was one of his buddies, but he soon learned exactly how wrong he was when I stabbed him in the ribs in passing.

It was a bloodbath. Humans (and elves and dwarves and bird kids) and orcs were whaling on each other in such close proximity it was sometimes hard to get a good hit in. Elbow room was seriously lacking. Also, there was the fact that we were fighting on top of a cliff. I silently swore that if Iggy let that bomb off and wiped us all out, I would kill him so dead it's not even funny. We were winning most of the time, but I still saw a bunch of people go down. I, however, was totally on a roll, taking orcs out right and left. Still, it wasn't long before they adapted and figured out my plan and then surged towards me as one.

"Crap," I muttered, swinging around to block an attack. There was a jolt beneath me and I realized some bad guy archer had offed my steed. I was bucked off of its back and landed on the ground in a roll, throwing all my momentum into coming up in a smooth crouch. I then proceeded to lash out with a knife and slice at the chest of the nearest warg's chest and jumped forward, swinging around its leg and kicking its rider hard in the chest. I'd injured the warg too much for it to be of any use, so I hurdled over the saddle and raised my knife, bringing it down on another beast. The orc on top of it parried my strike at hacked at my neck. I blocked with my left hand knife and stabbed at him with my right one, but he bonked it out of the way with his shield. Then he took said shield and brought it down hard on my skull.

It was a jarring blow and I felt it rattle my teeth. I stumbled backwards. I don't remember tripping, but I ended up on the ground somehow. I was dizzily trying to stand up when another monster/rider pair took their chance. An orc stabbed down at me with his spear. I just barely managed to roll out of the way in time to avoid becoming Max kebob, but the one from before was closing in on me, brandishing his hooked blade. There was a third, too. He had a spear as well, and when he tried to run me through with it I caught it between my ankles and jerked sideways as hard as I could, using all my strength to toss him like a rag doll into one of his psycho evil friends. While I was busy doing this, though, the other one had appeared behind me and was poised to bring his sword down on my head. I spun in the dirt and raised my hands to block, but suddenly an arrow was sprouting out of the area just above his collarbone. I looked up and saw Legolas shooting things in my area and shouted a quick 'thanks' that made my aching head ring.

As I stumbled into a standing position, I caught sight of Fang. His black shirt was torn and he was bleeding from a large cut on his arm, fighting four warg riders at once. I jumped forward and tackled one to the ground, landing with an _oof _and feeling the discomfort of some bits and baubles on his armor digging into my stomach. I kicked him in the back, felt the satisfying crunch of snapping ribs, and stood up. Fang was still in trouble. One orc was bearing down on him with an ever so pointy sword and he was busy dealing with the other two. I swore and lifted a knife, doing the only thing I could think of in the heat of the moment. I took the knife in my hand and threw it right at the orc.

Believe it or not, my knife hit home. And not only home but, eur frickin' eka it hit the guy right smack dab in the center of his heart. He gagged and slipped sideways off his deformed wolf. I dashed forward and ripped the knife out of his chest, using it to slash at another orc's cheek. I then grabbed a discarded spear and used it to hit it in the head as hard as physically possible. Fang, who had disabled the other one, looked at me in shock.

"Beginners luck?" I guessed, referring to the bulls eye knife throwing. Then I smirked. "Or maybe I'm not the only one in this Flock with wicked aim."

As if the whole thing had been scripted, Nudge took out a particularly disfigured looking orc that was on foot by landing an arrow directly at the base of his skull. I grinned and gave her a thumbs up. She didn't return it, though; she was too busy moving onto her next target.

"Maybe," he said, bewildered. Then, suddenly, we were pushed back into our own separate battles. I, oh joy, began being ganged up on by another three wargs and I swore at them in Elf Latin, a little something I picked up from the Lass who likes Legos (Legolas, if you didn't catch that oh-so-hilarious pun). After a flurry of pointy things being stabbed around, I found myself empty handed and realized that somehow both of my knives had ended up meters away from me. The first orc bore down on me and sliced with his sword. I dodged out of the way and crashed into his legs, sending him toppling over. He got to his feet immediately, though, and continued on with the slicing. Before I knew it, I was surrounded. All three orcs were ready for the kill. I was just preparing to jump into the air and fly away as a last resort thing when the blade of a sword appeared in the chest of the second orc, glinting in the bright sunlight. The orc was just as surprised as me. He looked down in shock before going limp.

"Thanks," I said breathlessly to my savior. I'd assumed it was Fang, or Iggy, or Aragorn or someone like that and I was surprised to see that it was just some random boy. He looked around my age which seemed a little young for the army, even here. His hair was pretty short for here, blonde and a little less than shoulder length. Like everyone else, he had deep blue eyes. "Who – who're you?"

"Niryn, son of Nirod, and brother to Narissa," he said, raising his sword to attack another orc. It blocked him and lunged forward, aiming to rip out his guts, probably. I intercepted it in midair, tackling it to the ground. Then I bounced up and tore forward, picking up my knives from where they were littered across the ground. "She told me to ensure you stayed safe during this battle."

"Really?" I planted a kick in the third orc's chest, tossing him towards Niryn who threw out his weapon to catch the thing with, stabbing it through the chest. A warg leaped at me from behind and I spun around, impaling it with my right hand knife. "I didn't think she liked me that much."

"Oh, she likes you very much," Niryn assured me. "She has had many quite rude people to wait on. You are a welcome change."

"Wow," I said. "You people seriously know nothing, don't you? Just because I don't dig being called 'Lady' doesn't mean I'm _polite. _Damn, I'm probably the rudest chick you'll ever meet in your little 'oh-how-can-I-be-of-your-service' world of women."

"Narissa doesn't seem to think so," he said. I chucked my knife right at him and he paled before realizing I had been aiming at the orc that was sneaking up behind him. It crumpled.

I did a quick 360 and realized I'd just killed the last still fighting orc. The others were running away or on the ground, dying. Or, you know, just plain old dead.

"Report!" I yelled over the number of gurgles and cries polluting the air.

"Here!" called Nudge from her perch on top of a large boulder.

"I'm good," replied Iggy, looking bitter. _Probably because he didn't get to blow anything up, _I thought.

"Fang?" I said, looking around wildly. "Yo, Fang, where are you man?"

"I'm alright, if anyone cares," Total grumbled as he trotted up to me. His coat was matted with black orc blood and he looked pretty grumpy, but other than that was probably in the best shape of anyone.

"Legolas!" I said, spotting the elf with a half dead orc in his hands. "Fang's missing!"

"As is Aragorn," Gimli said grimly. Aha, that rhymes again! Sort of. "This orc tells us they have… fallen…"

He indicated the cliff and I darted over. It didn't look good. Cliffs are normally no problem for us bird kids, but this one was sort of lame and tiny and didn't deserve to be called a cliff. It would be impossible to flap hard enough to push yourself up in the air with such little time. You could coast until you had the momentum and stuff right, only you'd immediately splat against the opposite cliff face. Then there were the rocks jutting out of the side. Hitting your head would be easy. What if Fang cracked his head against one of those and drowned?

_Uh, no, _I told myself. _He can breathe under water, remember?_

Right. Duh. But still, he could have hit his head and gotten a severe concussion or something and died that way.

_Quit being such a pessimist, _I thought, gritting my teeth.

_I've told you before that optimism is overrated, _the Voice piped up. _Look at reality realistically. Don't push away facts because they seem too good to be true, or too horrible to imagine._

_Thanks for that, Voice, _I said. But he was right. Fang wasn't back, which meant he had to be hurt. And what about Aragorn? In the movie he survived just fine, but with Fang taking the tumble with him, it could have screwed everything up and changed how it turned out. Or not. Either way, I had to deal with this problem lickity-split.

"I'm going to look for them," I said firmly. Legolas blinked.

"No, Max," he said. "There's no way they could have survived that fall. Let it go."

"Shut your trap, elf boy," I snapped, and then turned to my Flock mates. "Go with them back to Helm's Deep. I'll meet you there in less than twenty-four hours. Comprende?"

"But - "

"Nudge, just do it."

Then I jumped off the cliff. I wasn't even an inch down when someone grabbed my arm and yanked me back out. I spun around angrily to see Nirin gripping me tightly, a triumphant expression on his face.

"I saved you!" He proclaimed. I rolled my eyes.

"Get your slimy paws off me, asshole," I growled. His expression quickly changed to solemn.

"M'lady saved my life. I am forever in your debt," Nirin said.

"Dear god," I facepalmed. "Listen, weirdo, you kind of saved mine, right? So let's just call it even."

"That would be dishonorable," he said. I sighed.

"You medieval freaks and your honor. I think I might have to kill you," I pushed him backwards and jumped off the cliff again, this time with more success. When the water hit me, it was cold.


	17. Epsilon

** Here you go, guys =) Sorry this took so long to get up. I got a new computer and it didn't have Word on it. Lol.**

**Third Person POV, Fang**

Fang wasn't entirely sure how he'd gotten in to this mess. He'd been just standing there, minding his own business and beating the living crap out of something when something else collided with him and threw him off the cliff like a ragdoll. He must have hit his head against something, because he couldn't remember much else about falling.

He pried his sticky eyes open and blinked a few times. It was dark and wet. Underwater. He was underwater. A river. _The _river that had been there. It was tugging at his clothes, the current pulling him along. He tested all of his limbs and they seemed to be in working condition. He breathed in to make sure his underwater breathing ability was working alright. His head was pounding, but he did some mental math problems and came up with the right answer immediately, so he figured it wasn't _too _badly hurt.

Fang kicked through the water, propelling himself upwards. His head broke the surface and he looked around. Aragorn. Aragorn had been there. It had been him who had collided with Fang. That's what happened in the movie, right? Aragorn fell off a cliff into the river. Fang twisted around, wildly searching for the man. He didn't see him, so he dunked underwater to search. _There. _Aragorn was floating close to the bottom of the river, motionless. Fang's heart jumped up into his throat. Dead? That didn't happen in the movie. If what Max's Voice said was right, this could completely screw up their chances of ever getting out of here.

He rocketed forward and hooked his arms around the man's armpits, dragging him up to the surface. Once he was un-submerged, Aragorn seemed to come back to life. He gasped for breath, hacking and coughing up water. Then he fell limp, breathing deeply, his eyelids sort of fluttering a little. Fang gritted his teeth. Supporting a grown man in the water was a) difficult, because treading water gets a little tiring after a while and b) slightly awkward, seeing as Fang was about and eighth the guy's age. He elbowed him.

"Uh… wake up?" he said. Talking was not Fang's strong suit, so waking this guy up could prove to be a little difficult. "C'mon…"

He hit him a couple more times in various places, but the ranger refused to become fully conscious. Sometimes he'd come to a little, but he'd fall back to sleep in seconds. _What the heck? _Was this guy okay?

Finally, Fang just gave up and figured out a way to float Aragorn along on his back, pushing him up occasionally, while the bird boy followed along to steer. There was no way he could fly the guy out of there, so he waited until he found a nice rocky beach to wash up on.

"Wake. Up." Fang said sharply, trying to catch his breath. "Come on. Wake up. This is a pain."

Aragorn stirred a little, but didn't move more than that. Fang wrung his clothes out over his face, but Aragorn didn't react much to that, either. Fang gave an exasperated little sigh and fell backwards into a sitting position, playing with the little pebbles on the beach absent mindedly. He was jolted out of his trance by the sound of stones crunching underfoot. He looked up to see a boy walking towards him. He was tall and muscular, maybe fifteen, sixteen years old. He wore combat boots, black pants, and a grey shirt. His amber eyes were cold, hard, and narrowed. Scars were visible on his scalp through his buzz cut, and his hands were stuck in his pockets. Fang took a wild guess and assumed this guy was _not _from Middle Earth. He immediately drew himself up into an attack position, ready to beat the crap out of this guy if he posed a threat. The strange eye color was setting Fang on edge, along with the fact that the newcomer looked strangely familiar.

Neither of them spoke for a while. _Battle of the stoic antisocials, _Max would have teased, but Max wasn't there, so battle of the stoic antisocials it was. Fang reached down to his hip hopefully, but the sword must have been tugged out of his belt in the river. Finally, the new boy spoke.

"Experiment 205," he said in a monotone voice. "Also known as 'Fang' by his peers. No last name, although it would be Ride if one had to guess."

"Weird stalker person," said Fang. "Also known as 'weird stalker person' by his peers."

The boy narrowed his eyes. "I am Epsilon. I am here to unravel your existence."

Something clicked in Fang's head and he suddenly knew why the boy – Epsilon - looked so familiar. Omega, the genetically engineered super soldier who attacked the Flock in Germany – their resemblance was almost uncanny. The shaved head and funny amber eyes along with the fact that Epsilon looked a lot bigger and tougher had thrown Fang off at first, but Epsilon looked like a shiny new and improved version of Omega. That wasn't exactly a comforting thought.

"Unravel my existence, huh?" said Fang.

"You are not Experiment 204," Epsilon observed. "You are Experiment 205. You are unimportant. But killing you would be logical."

"Logical? All right then, Mr. Spock," Fang held his arms out wide as if to say, _'come on, attack me'_. Epsilon complied almost immediately.

Fang barely even saw Epsilon as he slammed into his chest and sent him skidding across the ground. The boy was on him again in an instant, pummeling his face with his fists. Fang felt his nose break and he raised his arms to block the blows. His foot connected with Epsilon's side and he kicked him off. Epsilon rolled and was on his feet instantly, poised for another attack, but Fang was prepared this time. He barreled forward and jammed his knee into Epsilon's mouth. Epsilon looked shocked, like no one had ever hit him directly in the face before, and retaliated by throwing wild punches at any inch of Fang he could reach. _Crack _went one of the bird boy's ribs. Great, two broken bones in under two minutes. Things were going great.

Fang knew he was going to lose. This guy was at least twice as strong and fast as him, and no dummy, either. Maybe if he had an ally, but one-on-one was not looking good. He remembered what Jeb had told Max about Omega – _he can't follow things well with his eyes. _Maybe Epsilon had the same weakness.

No go. Fang learned this the hard way. A little waving in front of Epsilon's eyes just seemed to make him think that Fang was an idiot and launch another attack. After that big mistake, Fang found himself pinned to the ground with Epsilon beating him up more. Joy. His entire body was aching and he was sure there wasn't much skin left not black-and-blued by bruises.

"You are going to die," said Epsilon. He didn't look particularly happy about this, but he didn't look like he didn't want to kill, either. He looked completely impartial, like his face was carved out of stone and his cold, unconcerned expression was unchangeable. Fang wasn't exactly Mr. Happy happy joy joy or a whiny crybaby or anything, but even he was more emotional than this weirdo. This was exhibited by the way he flinched away from the very final looking blow Epsilon was about to deliver.

"Augh!" came a loud holler. Epsilon flung himself sideways and Fang rolled away to avoid the heavy metal sword slicing downwards. He blinked.

"Thanks," he said. Aragorn nodded briskly in acknowledgement, but didn't respond any further. He started swinging his sword at Epsilon who casually dodged, fixing Aragorn with a cold, calculating stare.

"You are one of these… 'characters'," observed Epsilon. "And yet you defend the freak? The Director did not predict that. How strange."

"Freak?" Aragorn threw Fang a questioning glance.

"Long story," said Fang evasively, standing up and joining in on the attack. Epsilon wasn't fighting back, just absently avoiding all of their attempts at landing punches.

"Where is Experiment 204?" Epsilon queried. "According to my calculations, she should be here by now."

"I have a name, thanks," a female voice growled. "Assuming _I'm _Experiment 204. That's just a guess."

"Hey, Max, nice of you to drop in," Fang said. Max grinned. She was completely dry but flushed with exercise and her back was bulging slightly, suggesting she'd just touched down, pulled in her wings, and avoided the midmorning swim.

"Took me _forever _to find you two," she said. "Jesus, this river forks off like twenty times! Couldn't you just have drifted _straight_?"

"Experiment 204," Epsilon backed up, looking satisfied. "Otherwise known as 'Maximum Ride'. Exact date of birth unknown due to the top-secret nature of her creation. Leader of the so-called 'Flock'."

"Yikes, you did your homework, didn'tcha?" Max said, feigning surprise. "No frickin' _duh_. You don't have to go on _listing_ all that crap."

"Maximum!" Aragorn said. "How…?"

"Long story," Max shrugged. Aragorn looked vaguely annoyed to have gotten the same response in a time span of a few minutes. "So what is this new demon spawn?"

"The guy you've been seeing, I think," Fang explained. "Calls himself Epsilon. Think Omega."

"I'm thinking, and I'm _not _liking," Max wrinkled her nose. "So you're what, shiny new and improved Omega Jr.?"

Epsilon cocked his head. "Something like that."

"Well, Omega was pretty obnoxious, and he broke my hand, so I think I'm gonna take it out on you. Sound cool?" Max said. Epsilon narrowed his eyes.

"…cool," he said, like it was an alien word.

"Alrighty dighty then," Max pushed through Aragorn and Fang. "This should be fun. You guys good with being the backup?"

**Max POV**

_OW OW OW OW FREAKIN' OW_, I thought. _Yo, Voice. You know how Omega was, like, fast-movement blind? Anything like that on this dude?_

No reply.

_Gee, thanks for the help._

So this Epsilon dude was pretty strong. Like, stronger than Omega. And not only _stronger, _but faster, and probably a lot more smart. And in case you don't remember, Omega nearly killed me. I hate to admit that I almost got my butt majorly whooped by a stinking _boy, _but getting out of that particular sitch would have been a toughie if it weren't for Jeb's oh-so-helpful insider knowledge of the magnificent creation's weaknesses.

I was currently getting the living crap beaten out of me. I didn't hurt as bad as Fang looked, or as frustrated at the fact I wasn't squashing this kid like a bug as _Aragorn _did, but I wasn't feeling so hot, and I was starting to get pretty pissed. Even with the two tall dark and silents backing me up, we barely had the upper hand. Epsilon was good, I have to hand it to him.

Oh, and back to the OW OW OW OW FREAKIN' OW, that was because he'd kicked me in a place a guy should never kick a girl and then proceeded to lift up a boulder twice the size of my head and chuck it at me like it was a baseball. I managed to dodge out of the way, but Aragorn wasn't so lucky. It grazed his left shoulder and he bounced backwards swearing.

"Arry! You okay, man?"

"I'm alright," he said, but when he lifted his sword again his arms were trembling slightly. This was _not _going well. We had to ditch Epsilon and get the h e double lollipop outta here. But the only way to do that would be winging it. Like, literally. Maybe, just maybe, Fang and I could get enough speed to scoop Aragorn up and shoot into the sky, leaving the bad guy behind. But that would only work if Epsilon couldn't fly. Honestly, it was hard to tell if he was just really muscular or was hiding small wings really inefficiently. I was hoping the former.

But even if we did that, it would give our secret away. Aragorn would know, and he wouldn't hesitate to tell the others. I'd been hoping to keep our feathery assets hidden at least until the really big battles hit – but it was starting to look like that wasn't about to happen.

That's when I got supremely lucky and found an opening.

My fists had been flying furiously – randomly, even, without any real sort of pattern or strategy or battle technique. The average karate master on the street would probably bite my head off for that, but this was Tai-kwon-Max. Technique is overrated, but doggonit there's always a plan. Really. What, you say that I never start out with a plan, and that the plan always presents itself to me at the last minute? Silly readers, I _always_ know what I'm doing!

But it worked! Happy happy magic opening right by his face. I landed a ridiculously hard kick on his neck that sent him sprawling.

"Run!" I ordered. Fang complied immediately, but Aragorn looked hesitant. I fixed him with a mean glare. "Now."

He ran.

I followed.

I managed a quick glance behind me to see that Epsilon was sitting on his butt, gagging and clutching his throat. He looked less pained than dumbfounded that I'd managed to land such a good hit. A few punches here and there were one thing, but a full-on, all-the-strength-I-could-muster-and-that's-a lot-because-I'm-Maximum-Ride, kick to the area that connects the head to the body? He must have been angry at himself for letting a silly old failed experiment like me get the better of him.

Ha, ha, and ha.

"Horse," Fang pointed. Yes, there was a horse. It was just trotting up to us, looking very confused.

"Get on it!" I told them. Aragorn initiated a running leap and jumped up so high he barely had to use the stirrups to push himself up. He then twisted around and pulled both Fang and I up on after him. The horse nearly buckled a little at first, not expecting to have to carry three people, but Fang and I were light and it regained its balance easily. Aragon snapped its side with his hand and muttered something in Elf Latin. The horse broke into a run.

"Think we can outrun him?" Fang asked. I glanced behind me.

"…yeah."

"Who was that?" Aragorn demanded.

"No clue," I shrugged. "Apparently his name's Epsilon, or weren't you listening?"

Aragorn scowled. "You know what I mean."

"No, we've never met him before," I said. "But there was a guy kind of like him – not as good, but, like, still pretty strong – but I beat him already."

"Does he work for Sauron?"

"Naw," I said. "Worse."

"Worse than Sauron?" he looked doubtful. Well, Sauron was pretty bad, but in my personal opinion, the By-Half plan was a hair worse, since it couldn't be resolved by just dropping a lil' gold ring into a fiery volcano. Then again, there wasn't really a _war_, just the largest corporation in the world plotting to, like, poison half the population or something.

"Don't worry," I shrugged. "I don't think he wants anything to do with these… uh, lands."

"I hate to break up your little infodump, but check that out," Fang pointed. Aragorn's jaw dropped.

At least ten thousand orcs were marching across the flat grassland, screeching battle cries, their armor clanking loudly.

"Hm," I said. "This should be fun."

**Third Person POV, the Gasman**

"Wicked," Gazzy breathed. "I think I can help with this."

Isengard lay in front of them. There weren't very many orcs in it compared to the Gasman's expectations, but there were enough. And besides, Saruman was there, too. There were a bunch of big buildings made out of wood and stuff, and the Gasman had one small explosive tucked inside his sweatshirt pocket. This was going to be awesome.

"What's that?" Merry eyed the explosive suspiciously as Gazzy held it out in front of himself.

"Our key to the most fun you've ever had in your entire life."

"Fun?" said Merry in disbelief.

"Yeah. You know, F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for u and me? N is for nywhere and anytime at all?"

"What?" Pippin said blankly.

"DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA!"

"I'm so confused." Merry stared.

"Nevermind."

The Ents tore ahead and initiated their destructive mode. They started to take out anything that moved, throwing giant boulders around and squashing orcs like flies. When Treebeard finally got there, the battle was already half done. Gazzy could see Saruman sticking his head out of the Orthanc, looking panicked.

"You ready for this?" Gazzy grinned maniacally.

"I'm not sure," said Pippin. "What are you going to do?"

"Dude, it's gonna be epic!" the Gasman flicked a little knob on his explosive device and hurled it as far as he could into the mob of orcs. They merely dodged to the side, assuming it was a measly little stone.

"That wasn't very effective," said Merry.

"Hold on. Should be in… three… two… one… ze - " the rest of the word was cut short as the bomb released an explosion much, much too big for how small it was. The orcs in that specific clump were completely creamed – almost twenty of them, gone in an instant.

"Can you do that again?" Pippin asked, gaping, after the initial shock had worn off. Gazzy shook his head.

"I only had one left," he said sadly, turning out his pockets, so they settled on picking up rocks and hitting orcs on the head.

"This _is _fun!" Pippin laughed. "This is the best battle I've ever been in!"

"Seconded!" said Merry.

"Thirded!" Gazzy chimed in.

"The dams! Break the dams! Release the river!" Treebeard thundered. Ents clambered up to the dams and started whaling on them. In under a minute, they shattered and water spurted out, rushing across Isengard, dousing flames and washing away orcs. Gazzy and the Hobbits held on to Treebeard for dear life.

"And so," Treebeard rumbled. "Isengard falls."

**Third Person POV, Angel**

Angel hummed to herself softly. Faramir had dragged Frodo out of their little closet almost an hour ago, and he still wasn't back, but she wasn't worried. She knew exactly what was going on. There were so many minds in this place; it was like a buzzing network of information. A fly couldn't poo without her knowing.

Sam was jolted awake by the sound of the door slamming open, but Angel merely glanced up and smiled brightly.

"How'd it go?" she said.

"Badly," said Frodo after the guards who'd tossed him inside shut the door again. "They found Gollum. They've got him in captivity. What if he tells them important information?"

"Then these guys will prolly try and kill us or something," Angel shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't worry, I'll save you!"

"Angel," Sam looked at her. "I've been meaning to ask. Where were you?"

"What do you mean?" Angel made herself look surprised. She crammed mind control into her next words. "I've been with you this entire time!"

Frodo and Sam's eyes glazed over, and then they blinked and nodded, as if scolding themselves for ever thinking anything different.

The door was thrown open again and Faramir stepped in. He moved fluidly across the ground as if it wasn't there and drew his sword. The Hobbits jumped to their feet, but Angel stood up slowly. Faramir jabbed his sword up by Frodo's neck, with a coldly curious expression on his face.

"So this is the answer to all the riddles. Here in the wild I have you, two halflings, a little girl – and a host of men at my call. The Ring of power within my grasp," he muttered, and twisted the tip of the sword so he was lifting the chain with the Ring on it. "A chance for Faramir of Gondor to show his quality."

Frodo's pupils dilated and he gasped, reaching up and yanking the Ring away. "No!"

"Stop it!" Sam cried. "Leave him alone! Don't you understand? We're going to destroy it! We're going to Mordor! To the mountain of fire!"

Angel was struck with how stupid that sounded. The mountain of fire? It made her think of that one song that Gazzy loved… the ring of fire. Bye whatshisface.

A ranger spirited into the little room and muttered into Faramir's ear. "Osgiliath is under attack. They call for reinforcements."

"Please, it's such a burden," Sam's voice cracked. "You have to help him."

"Captain?"

If the battle of decisions was visible on Faramir's face, it was even clearer inside his mind. It was almost like Gollum, although neither sides of Faramir's thought process was seriously considering ripping their throats out. Angel didn't help tip the scale. She was kind of curious about this Osgiliath place, and the whole ring thing.

"Prepare to leave. The Ring will go to Gondor."


	18. The Battle Begins

**Happy New Year, everyone!**

**Max POV**

"Max! Fang! Aragorn!" Nudge jumped forward and pulled us into a giant Nudge bear-hug. "I'm so glad you're not dead!"

"'Sup, kiddo?" I ruffled her hair, but she had already moved backwards and fixed Fang with a horrified stare.

"Ohmygosh!" she squeaked. "What _happened _to you? You look horrible! Are you okay? Oh no, who attacked you? More orcs? But they usually do more cutting, right? Those bruises look like they come more from fists! Did someone from Itex attack you guys? Ohmygosh ohmygosh - "

"Nudge!" I hollered. "Zip it!"

She shrank backwards. "Right. Sorry."

"WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE ARE THEY? I'LL KILL 'EM!" Gimli pushed his way through the throng of people and did a bear hug of his own, scowling and yelling at Aragorn and Fang about how stupid they were. Finally, Arry managed to shut him up with: "Where's the king?"

Gimli blinked, then motioned for them to follow him. On our way to the king's new hall, we found Iggy skulking in the shadows and brought him with us.

"Aragorn?" Theoden blinked when we entered the room. "Fang?"

Aragaorn didn't waste any time with small talk and immediately cut to the chase.

"We have a problem," he said. "A great host of orcs is on its way here, at this very moment."

"A great host, you say?" Theoden said. Apparently he didn't mind skipping the pleasantries, either. "How many?"

"Isengard has been emptied. There are ten thousand, at least," said Aragorn. Theoden's jaw dropped.

"Ten _thousand_?"

"Yep," I nodded. "Ten freaking thousand. This should be fun."

"It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men," Aragorn began.

"What about the world of _wo_men? I think they're more important. We carry the babies and all," I put in. He ignored me, as per usual.

"They will be here by nightfall."

"Let them come," Theoden gritted his teeth and swept out of the room. "I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle come nightfall."

Aragorn and I exchanged a glance and hurried after him. The rest of the 'fellowship' followed, joined by Legolas and Total out in the courtyard.

"We'll cover the causeway and the gate from above," he said as he walked. He pushed open the gate and they stood in front of it. "No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall or set foot inside the Hornburg."

"This is no rabble of mindless orcs," Gimli pointed out. "These are Uruk-Hai. Their armor is thick and their shields broad."

"I have fought many wars, Gimli son of Gloin. I know how to defend my own keep."

Gimli glared at Theoden, but followed him back in.

"I think His Royal Highness is right," Total commented. "Those are some wicked big walls."

"They will break upon this fortress like water on rock," Theoden continued. "Saruman's forces will pillage and burn, we've seen it before. Crops can be resown; homes rebuilt. Behind these walls, we will last."

"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages, they come to destroy its people!" Aragorn snapped.

"And if there aren't any people, there aren't any crops. _Or _villages," I added.

"What would you have me do?" Theoden hissed. "Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread! If this is to be their end, I would have them make such an end that they would be worthy of remembrance!"

"Call for aid."

"And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our company as you. The old alliances are dead," Theoden growled.

"Gondor. Gondor will answer."

The king then proceeded to list a bunch of reasons why Gondor wouldn't come. And he was probably right. That Steward dude was kind of a biotch if I remember correctly. Then he swept off ultra dramatically, yelling at his soldiers.

"Well, that went well," said Iggy sarcastically.

"He is a fool," Aragorn seemed a lot more angry than I would have expected. We followed him as he walked into the armory. It was full of men of all ages, picking out weapons and talking, looking scared. "Farmers, farriers, stable boys – these are not soldiers."

"Most have seen too many winters," Gimli commented.

"Or too few," Legolas nodded. "Look at them. They're frightened. I can see it in their eyes."

People suddenly stopped talking and turned to look at them. Nudge leaned in close to Legolas nervously and whispered, "I think you're freaking them out!"

Legolas shook her off and continued on in Elf Latin, speaking at Aragorn.

Wait, hold on. Was that Elf Latin or English? '_And they should be. Three hundred against ten thousand?' _I could understand that, but it didn't seem right, somehow. Like my brain processed it in some weird way. I turned to Legolas and opened my mouth, but Aragorn cut me off. '_They have more hope of defending themselves here than in Edoras.'_

_ 'Aragorn, we are warriors. They cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!'_

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn snarled in English, and he spun around, stomping away. Legolas looked surprised and started to try and tell him to come back, but Gimli stopped him.

_ 'Hold up,' _I said, but the words came out all funny. Morphed and mutated into different sounds. My tongue felt light and fluttery as it moved in unfamiliar ways. '_Woah, this is so freaking weird. How am I doing this? Is this right?'_

Legolas stared at her. '_You… you speak Elvish? When did you learn this?'_

_ 'Ha, no! Never!' _I grinned. _'Holy smokes. You mean you can actually understand me?'_

_ 'I can..'_

"Uh, Max?" Iggy was staring at me even more blankly than usual. His eyes actually looked confused. "What?"

"I speak Elvish!" I announced.

"Um, yes, we noticed," said Fang. "But since when?"

"Since just now!" I said. "New ability, I guess. Can you guys do it, too?"

"Oooh! Oooh! Let me try!" Nudge wiggled excitedly. "Umm… lefafwauh letwuah gefuah rejidah lenduah!"

"Negatori," I said. "Sorry."

She looked disappointed. Iggy, Fang, and Total all tried, too, with similar results.

"I don't understand," said Legolas quizzically.

"Well, see, sometimes we develop abilities," I explained. "Like me being able to speak Elvish all of a sudden for no apparent reason."

"…abilities?" Legolas cocked his head.

"Yeah, I know, it's messed up. But useful. Now I can talk to you in _two _languages!"

Legolas looked at me like, 'I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing' but shrugged. "We must prepare ourselves for battle. Perhaps one of you will develop an… ability to help us here."

"Yeah," I nodded. "C'mon, guys. Iggy, you get a sword. Happy?"

"Very," the expression on his face almost made me rethink my decision. It looked like he was plotting to kill Ghandi or something.

Iggy and I headed over to a rack of swords while I guided him in his decision of what sharp pointy thing used to impale living creatures to choose. After a little bit, though we were interrupted by the sound of a horn.

"That is no orc horn," said Legolas. Aragorn, who had somehow magically reappeared and made buddies with the elf again while I was busy, nodded in agreement. We exchanged a glance, and then ran back up to the battlements. When we get up there, there's like, a giant army of elves there. Just… standing there, looking a little unsure of themselves.

'_Welcome, Haldir!' _Oh, right, there's that Haldir dude from Lorian. He was okay, I guess, except for the almost shooting us part. But still, I understood Aragorn's little greeting, and that psyched me out.

_'Holy moly, this is so boss!' _I was seriously squealing like a little girl. It was a little embarrassing, actually, but being handed the knowledge of entire language without practicing is a little something we call completely and totally epic. _'I can actually understand you freaks!'_

Haldir looked at Aragorn for explanation, but the ranger just waved him a way with a look like, _it's nothing._

"We are proud to fight alongside men once more."

**xXxXx**

"Max?" Nudge whispered. "I'm kinda scared."

To tell you the truth, I was a little scared myself. I knew that in the movie, we won, but in reality one of my friends might not make it. Us being there sort of skewed everything out of perspective.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "We'll be alright."

Gimli hopped up and down a little annoyedly. Then he glared at Legolas. "You could have picked a better spot."

Aragorn materialized behind us. He looked nervous and frazzled and generally freaked out, probably because he was in command of a big chunk of the soldiers. I don't really understand _why. _Mr. Emopants is what we call an antisocial loner who hasn't spent much time in civilization learning the qualities necessary for a leader. I was planning on taking over for him once things really started heating up.

"Well, lad," said Gimli. "Whatever luck you live by, let's hope it lasts the night."

"Your friends are with you, Aragorn," said Legolas. He didn't look all that confident.

"Let's hope _they _last the night," Gimli grumbled.

"Seriously guys, we'll be fine," I said. I mean, it's just an army of ten thousand hellbeasts with an intention to kill us in the most painful way possible. "My outlook is good."

_Optimism is overrated, _said the Voice.

_Will you shut up with that crap? I'm trying to boost some morale's here, thank you very much._

The Uruks were marching into view. They were barely visible in the dark, but my night vision soon sharpened until I could see them clearly. There were tons of them, snarling and snorting, laughing among themselves and screaming at us. I didn't doubt they had a complete intention to kill. But it's not like I haven't been up against ridiculous odds before. I could do this.

_'Show them no mercy, for you shall receive none!' _Aragorn yelled to the Elvin archers. I almost squealed in excitement again, but decided to hold it back.

"What's happening out there?" Gimli said, straining to see over the wall.

"Would you like me to describe it for you," Legolas smiled at him. "Or would you like me to find you a box?"

Gimli burst into a fit of nervous laughter, but my Flock wasn't doing so good.

"God, they smell horrible," Total probably would have pinched his nose if that was possible.

"Well, at least it can't really get much worse," said Nudge. A moment later, rain started slating down from the sky. Withing seconds we were all soaked. "God, I totally just jinxed us, didn't I? Sorry, I kind of do that a lot. I'm a jinxer. I don't _mean _to be, of course, but it always just slips out, y'know?"

I decided to humor her. "Yep."

"Hey," Fang muttered. "You okay?"

"Fine and dandy."

"Just in case we don't make it…"

"We'll make it," I said, trying to sound as sure of myself as is humanly possible.

"But just in case we don't," he leaned down and kissed me. On the lips. My skin turned bright red and practically started steaming off the water. It was a short kiss, only a little peck, but it still made me feel a lot more confident. Nudge, Total, Gimli, Aragorn, and Legolas _oooh_'d and _aaah_'d, and Iggy angrily started asking what happened.

"Now look who can't see what's going on!" Gimli teased. Iggy rolled his eyes.

"I _always _couldn't see what was going on, you nincompoop!"

The Uruks started stomping and screaming louder. '_Hold!' _came the Elvish order. Everyone stiffened. Our breath was baited. I think I could hear Nudge whispering things under her breath at a million miles a minute.

Oddly enough, it was Aragorn who really managed to lift our spirits, and it only took three words. I'm not sure why that made the Flock so excited, but it was probably because no one ever actually says it in real life, and you rarely get the chance to yell back the standard.

"This is madness," he said.

The Flock all looked at each other in awe and then chorused all at once, "THIS. IS. SPARTA!" Then busted out laughing.

"I don't get it," said Gimli.

"Never… nevermind," I choked.

There was a dull thud from somewhere as someone let loose an arrow and it landed in the neck of some orc. Oh, great – it was that old dude. How embarrassing for him.

"HOLD!" Aragorn shouted. The Uruks stopped thumping around and fell silent. The one that got shot gave a low whimper and then collapsed to the ground. The Uruk-Hai leader thrust his weapon into the air.

All hell broke loose.


	19. The Battle at Helm's Deep

**Third Person POVs**

Nudge took aim and fired her crossbow. She squeezed the trigger and an arrow shot out, zipping through the air and embedding itself straight through an Uruk's forehead. It was a little sickening, but she didn't think about it. It wasn't like she'd never killed anything before. In fact, just the opposite. The Flock's lives were basically a never ending cycle of death. They killed the bad guys, the bad guys… well, they _tried _to kill the Flock. It hadn't worked out too well so far.

And besides, these orc guys _needed _to be ended. They were trying to kill people Nudge's age, only minus the superpowers, because Theoden had decided they needed more manpower. It just wasn't _right_.

She heard the heavy clanking of orc armor behind her and spun around. An Uruk had its sword raised, and it was poised to slice down on her. She gave a little squeak and pointed her crossbow directly at its stomach, letting loose an arrow. It wasn't very well aimed since she was in a moment of panic, but it still hit around the belly button. She exhaled slowly as it crumpled to the ground, and then turned back to the rest of the battle. These elves were pretty good with their bows, but she wanted to prove that she could do just as well. Maybe better.

Iggy wasn't sure where he was, or what was going on. He was surrounded by noise, and it was hard to pinpoint what was coming from where. Still, he hadn't had his head chopped off, so he must have been doing _something _right. Fang was sticking close to him – his 'guardian angel' as the black haired had boy put it (teasing, of course). A bunch of crap. Iggy could deal with this!

"Behind you!" Fang shouted, and Iggy spun, hacking away at the space behind him with his sword. It hit something solid and made a gross _squelch _noise and Iggy withdrew the blade immediately.

"What'd I hit?"

"Uruk," Fang didn't waste time with a 'wow, it's amazing how you were able to kill that thing when you didn't even know what it was. I really admire you!' or even a 'nice job', but there wasn't time to go fishing for compliments. Smelly things crowded all around them. Iggy didn't dare attack anything unless Fang told him to, or it attacked him first, or some other reason that made him positive it was the enemy. Things were so complicated. Up in the air, when they were attacked by Erasers or Flyboys or whatever, it was all so much simpler. He could tell who was in the Flock and who was not by the sound of their breathing, the touch of their feathers, or whether or not they were droning lame and uncreative threats. Here, he couldn't tell friend from foe. Still, being able to hear a sword whistling your way from any direction was a pretty useful skill.

It was going to be a long night.

Fang was a busy boy. First of all, he had Iggy to take care of. It wasn't that Iggy was helpless or anything, but he did require a little bit of guidance to make himself useful. Then there was the fact that, by nature, he was constantly worrying about how the others who weren't in his little area were doing, especially Max. Even though he knew she was the most adept at taking care of herself, he still worried about her the most. Funny how that worked. Thirdly, he seemed to be a popular target for the Uruks. It was probably because of the bruises that still marred his skin. With the even more sped up than usual healing skills he now had, the actual damage done was all gone, but many of the bruises were still visible. The orcs probably thought he was easy prey.

They were wrong.

Fang was getting really quite good with his sword. Maybe it was because he'd been spending so much time with people who were practically fencing masters or whatever, or maybe he, like Nudge and now apparently Max, was simply a natural. Either way, he found himself twirling and chopping like a pro. That, coupled with his super strength, speed, and instincts made it nearly impossible for any one thing to land a decent hit. But there was more than 'one thing'. He was being ganged up on a lot, and it was getting to be a pain. Compared to most of the others, though, he was doing fantastic.

Total was very happy to be out of the fray. He was sitting comfortably in the caves with all the woman and children, and there were some very attractive she-dogs in there.

_No, Total. Don't forget about Akila, _he scolded himself.

Nirin wasn't about to forget his promise to Narissa, and he owed that girl a debt, anyways. She called herself Max. He couldn't see her anywhere, but he was sure she was in this battle, and he had to find her. He had to protect her. If any harm befell her, he could never forgive himself. He had to find that wild female if it killed him.

Which it very well could. He was not faring well. He was only a boy, after all, and a peasant boy at that. He was not well trained like the actual soldiers, or strong like the men. Still, he had some skill with his blade and he would use it to destroy his foes. If Lady Max could do it, so could he.

**Max POV**

The battle was not going well. I was spending most of my time just fighting random opponents, occasionally looking up and locating each person I knew by name to make sure they were all okay, and then diving right back in.

"Legolas!" Gimli said. "I've got two already."

Legolas turned to look at him. "I've got seventeen!"

Gimli grumbled something mutinously and started killing things with his axe again.

There were ladders being put up against the wall and orcs were climbing them, swarming all around. It was making life extremely difficult, and I had to do something about them. I kicked an orc in the chest and sent it flying over the side, and then examined one of the ladders. The prongs on the top were embedded into the stone wall, and it would be too long and tiring to remove them efficiently. So the only thing I could do was prevent even more from coming up.

One was climbing up in the sky to my right. I dashed over to the area and jumped up on the ledge of the wall. There was an orc on top, guiding it forward. I clenched my fingers into fists and hopped from one foot to the other a few times to warm up, and then when the top was a few meters from me, I did the only thing I could possibly do to keep this thing from coming up. I jumped.

I slammed into the top of the ladder and immediately pushed off as hard as I could with my legs and jumped back onto the wall. I landed with a _thud _on something… someone soft. I twisted to see who.

"Legolas," I grinned up at him. "Thanks, man."

He nodded briskly and pushed me away, spraying arrows out of his bow like crazy. My eyes wandered around the battlefield and fell upon an orc carrying a giant, flaming torch. That seemed odd to me, so I let my eyes slip forward onto… oh, yeah. The bombs. I forgot about them.

"IGGY!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE PYRO? I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!"

Iggy stuck his head out of a bunch of people a little bit away.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Bombs," I said. "Over there. Spiky, primitive. But you know, they still are explosive. Take them out."

Legolas was already on it, shooting at the torch-wielding Uruk desperately. Arrows were sprouting out of its body, but it kept on running.

_'BRING HIM DOWN, LEGOLAS!' _Aragorn was yelling in Elvish. _'Kill him! Kill him!'_

"Old bombs… they use gunpowder. Get it wet! Get the gunpowder wet!" Iggy called. I swallowed hard and nodded. How was I going to do that? I searched around me wildly.

"Give me that," I tore a helmet off someone's head and dashed down the stairs to the other side of the wall.

_No time no time no time, _I jumped off halfway down. My ankles objected painfully, but I ignored them and ran towards the bombs, scooping up dirty water in the helmet on my way. I leaped into the little gutter area before the orc and dumped the water into the first bomb. An orc grabbed me roughly and tried to pull me away, but I backhanded him in the face and sent him spinning. I bent over and got more water ready, but when I looked up, I knew it was too late. The orc was only a few steps away. He would get there before I could and blast us all to smithereens. I know it wasn't very heroic of me, but I did the only thing I could in that situation.

I ran.

The explosion was half the size it was in the movies, probably, because of one of the bombs being disabled. So that's one achievement for me. Still, the pressure from the blast tossed me forward and I did a faceplant into the mud. My back was burning and my ears were ringing and I tasted grit, but at least I wasn't dead.

I stood up shakily and tried to get my bearings. A few blinks later I could see properly again. A decent chunk of the wall was gone and orcs were streaming through it, screeching their horrible battle cries. People lay dead around the blast zone, humans and orcs alike, and my heart leaped into my throat. What if one of the Flock members got caught up in it?

I coughed and stumbled up the steps and to the top of the wall again, looking around. I had to squint to keep the dust from blinding me. Orcs were on me immediately, but I was too distracted to really put any thought into the fact that I was killing them.

"Nudge! Fang! Iggy!" I cried hoarsely, then I repeated it more loudly. There was no answer. _Don't worry, _I told myself. _They're all fighting on different sections of the wall. They're fine. _

_'To the Keep! Fall back to the Keep! Haldir, Max, the Keep!' _Aragorn shouted in Elf Latin over the ruckus. I found him with my eyes, and then Haldir.

Uh oh. Haldir died, didn't he? I rushed towards him, but was interrupted by a splitting headache. Not a brain attack, but still not comfortable.

_Will you cut that out? _I snapped.

_You cannot alter the outcome of the story, _the Voice reminded me.

_Shut up! He's a minor character! _I shot back. _And if you brain attack me, I swear to god I'll kill you._

The Voice didn't say anything else, so I went on ahead with my rescue mission. When I reached Haldir, he was looking down at a stab wound in his arm with disbelief.

"Behind you!" I yelled, and jumped forward. I slammed bodily into the Uruk that was sneaking up behind the elf and tackled it to the ground. Once it was dead, I glanced up at him. "Report."

"I'm fine," he cocked his head. "You have my thanks. I am in your debt."

"Please, I don't want any more debt," I said, thinking of that Nirin dude. _Thank god I haven't run into him again. He was kind of annoying._

"Lady Max!"

…speak of the devil.

"How did you even find me?" I grumbled, and stabbed a passing orc to vent my annoyance.

"Lady Max, are you alright?" Nirin stumbled up to me. "I came to find you as quickly as possible!"

"Wow, I'm so honored."

Haldir shot me a questioning look.

_'This is why I don't want any more debt,' _I explained to him in Elvish so Nirin wouldn't be able to understand me.

"You speak Elvish?" Nirin's eyes widened. "You are so intelligent, Lady Max!"

"Dear lord," I rolled my eyes. As they rolled, they caught sight of someone. My jaw dropped. It was Epsilon, in the middle of this giant honking battle, looking totally unconcerned.

"What, _now_?" I mumbled. Then I turned to Nirin and Haldir. "Run."

"What is the matter?" Haldir asked urgently.

"Max!" Aragorn called. He jerked his head in the direction of Epsilon. "That… that's the boy from before!"

"Yeah, I got that!" I replied. I turned to order Nirin and Haldir away again, but was cut short when something slammed into me.

"Epsilon!" I gasped, kicking him off after I'd skidded a couple meters. "Could you pick a worse time, please?"

"I do not understand," he cocked his head. "Why would you want a worse time for a confrontation with me?"

"It's called _sarcasm_, idiot," I growled and aimed a punch at his head. He ducked out of the way casually.

"And this… _sarcasm. _It is commonly used among people?"

I groaned and tried to suppress my violent impulses. Wait, scratch that. Violent impulses are good.

"If you do not answer me, I will be forced to take more serious measures," Epsilon warned. I kicked at him again. "If that is what you choose…"

He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and, before I could react, _hurled _me ten feet in the air and over the wall, straight down towards the mass of orcs head first.

I didn't even think. There was no alternative way to get out of this situation. I obeyed the instincts screaming at me and snapped out my wings. I flapped hard, bringing myself out of my nosedive, and pushed myself up into the air. Rain drenched my feathers, and I knew I couldn't fly for long. Flying in a storm is a little something we call moronic. Still, I just _had _to take this opportunity to tease that obnoxious creature known as Epsilon.

"Hey! Epi Pen!" I yelled down at him. "How's the view from down there?"

The battle had basically come to a standstill. Everyone, and I mean _everyone_, was staring at me, jaws dropped and eyes wide. I smirked. People's reactions never got old.

"You run away from a fight?" Epsilon cocked his head. "Odd. I was under the impression you were more valiant in your fighting. I suppose I will have to force you back down to the ground."

_Force _me back down to the ground? What was that supposed to mean? I didn't have long to wonder. Epsilon simply reached over and grabbed the nearest soldier (a little boy, not any older than twelve), plucked a knife from the debris surrounding him, and slit the soldier's throat. Then he looked up at me with his empty golden eyes. I was speechless.

"You _bastard,_" I whispered. But with me wasting time insulting him, he moved onto the next person. Nirin. Nirin struggled to get away, but the knife was already flashing towards his heart. With a little yelp, I shot down at full speed (which, what with my light speed thingy, is pretty dang fast) and crashed right into Epsilon. We skidded across the ground yet again and slammed into some people's legs and they fell on top of us. I pulled myself to my feet, pushing through the tangle of bodies, and felt a boot slam into my gut. I doubled over a stumbled backwards a few steps. My stomach ached and I couldn't breathe. My lungs struggled for air. In my moment of being dazed, Epsilon was on me again. I felt a rib crack and maybe break under the force of his kick. I pulled out a knife and tried to keep it pointing in his direction so that if he attacked me again, he would find himself as evil kebob, but it didn't seem to work. I was still dizzy, and he was much faster than me. He was beating me to a pulp, landing countless accurately placed kicks and punches on me.

I sliced my wings through the air and one connected with his face. With a face full of feathers, he took a step back and blinked. It was enough. I jumped forward and barreled into his midsection, putting all my weight into my shoulder, which I jammed right around his solar plexus. The force pushed him backwards and he hit the edge of the wall, slamming him into the ledge. I could almost hear his spine grinding, but he jerked forward and head butted me.

"Ah!" I fell back onto my butt and lashed out at him with my legs, but missed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into an upright position and glared straight into my eyes.

"You cannot win. You cannot beat me. No matter how you try, you will not be victorious. I will be back. Next time we meet, you will die," he said. He sounded strangely like Sylar from that weird show Heroes. Then he dropped me back onto the ground, fixed me with one last stare, and jumped over the side of the wall. I stared for a moment before someone yanked me to my feet again.

"Max!" Aragorn shook me. "Max, can you hear me? Are you alright?"

I blinked slowly a few times and assessed the damage done to my body. I had one broken rib at least and several more cracked ones. My head was spinning and I probably had a concussion. Then I was covered in cuts and scrapes from hitting the ground so many times, and from the times orc swords had come a little too close to decapitating me for comfort. My back still stung from the bomb.

"Yeah…" I squinted at him. He was looking a little fuzzy. "I'm fantastic."

"Hurry," he said, clearly not believing me. Wow, I must have looked like crap. "We must get back to the Keep. Can you walk?"

"I said I'm okay," I said and took a few steps forward. The third time my foot struck the stone beneath me, I stumbled and threw my arms in front of my face. The deafening sound of an explosion hit my ears, and the sight of white hot flames barraged my eyes. _Another Uruk bomb? _I thought with panic. That sure wasn't in the movie. Then I cracked my eyes open and saw everyone's favorite blind pyro amazing cook fluttering over the battle field, cackling maniacally. The walls hadn't been touched, but there was a giant hole in Saruman's forces.

"IGGY!" I yelled. He ignored me and punched the air.

"That was beautiful, baby!" he cooed loudly. "Booh yah!"

"Holy – ugh, let's just get back to that Keep," I grumbled and practically dragged Aragorn along behind me.

"Aragorn!" Theoden called once we entered the Keep. The ranger understood the King's look.

"How long do you need?" he asked.

"As long as you can give me."

"Come on," Aragorn said to Gimli and I. We slipped out a side door that opened to a tiny ledge. Beyond the ledge was a vertical drop. I glanced at Aragorn and Gimli nervously, and then stepped off of it into the air. I unfurled my wings and hovered beside them. Gimli was staring at me like I was insane, but Aragorn was trying not to pay any attention. I was thankful for that.

They shuffled forward and I went ahead of them as slowly as possible before hopping back against the ledge and flattening myself against the wall.

"Ready, Freddies?" I jerked my head at the giant gap that lay between our ledge and the orcs trying to force their way through the gate. I held out my hand and Aragorn took it. I shoved the other one in Gimli's face, but he seemed hesitant.

"What…"

"Just take her hand," Aragorn ordered. Gimli slowly wrapped his fingers around my wrist.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Aragorn asked. He indicated the drop that would probably be fatal, or at least result in paralysis. I sized the gap up. It was short.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Kay, on three. I need your momentum. One… two… three!"

We all jumped and I flapped hard, carrying us straight into the solid block of Uruks. I whipped out my knives and started slashing at anything that was the enemy. Things cut my skin and bruised me, and I still felt lightheaded, but I fought as hard as I could. It seemed like only a millisecond later that I heard Theoden's yelling.

"Aragorn! Gimli! Max! Get out of there!"

"Can you take us up?" Aragorn said. I looked at the distance from the gate to the top of the wall doubtfully. They were too heavy, and I was feeling too weak.

"Aragorn!" Legolas dropped a rope down and I immediately jumped at it. The rope swished and twisted underneath me like a snake. Ah! Bad thought. Snakes are bad.

"Grab my legs," I told Aragorn and Gimli as I unfurled my wings again. "I can still _help _a little."

They each gripped one of my ankles and I simultaneously pushed air down with my wings and pulled our weight up with my hands. With them helping a bit, too, it was pretty efficient. It took all of two seconds to reach the top. We rolled over the ledge and landed in a heap. I folded my wings back up against me. They were getting tired quickly since I hadn't used them in so long.

"Fall back! Fall back!" came a shout.

We ran back downstairs and into the Keep. People were running through the streets. Orcs were scurrying into the city.

"Max!" Fang, Iggy, and Nudge rushed towards me. "What are we gonna do?"

"Barricade the doors!" I ordered. They nodded and people started taking the heaviest objects they could find and propping them up against the entrance to the Keep.

"The fortress is taken. It is over," said Theoden sullenly.

"Yeah, well whining about it isn't going to help anything," Iggy said, sounding annoyed.

"You said this fortress would never fall while your men still defend it! They still defend it! They have died defending it!" Aragorn snapped, but his voice soon melted into desperation. "Is there no other way to get the women and children out of the caves?" he looked around wildly. No one answered. "Is there no other way?"

"There is one other way. It leads into the mountains," said a soldier, but he quickly added something else. "They will not get far. The Uruk-Hai are too many."

"Send for the women and children to make for the Mountain Pass," said Aragorn. "And barricade the door."

"So much death," said Theoden hopelessly. "What can men do against such reckless hate?"

"Oh, please," I growled. "Sure, this sucks, but you can't just _give up_. I mean, _life _sucks, but you don't just go around committing suicide, do you? Seriously, I've been in more desperate fights than this and I'm not dead. Yet."

"Yeah!" Iggy said. "Like, once, Gazzy, Fang and I got attacked by _at least _a hundred Flyboys, and we're still alive. Those odds are the same as ours were before the elves got here."

"Yeah, but didn't we blow up the Hollywood sign?" said Fang.

"You did _what _now?" I stared at them. "Where was I when this happened?"

"In Germany, getting told by the Director," Iggy explained.

"The children are right," said Aragorn. "Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them."

This idea caught Theoden's attention. "For death and glory."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I rolled my eyes. "Death and glory. Whatever."

"For Rohan. For your people," said Aragorn.

"The sun's coming up," Nudge observed.

"Yes. Yes! The horn of Helm Hammerhand will sound in the deep one last time!" Theoden started looking a lot happier, like the idea of running out to meet a giant army appealed to him.

"Yes!" Gimli boomed, and turned up the steps. He started running up them like his life depended on it. Probably to blow the horn of Helm Hammerfoot or whatever.

"Let this be the hour in which we draw swords together," Theoden mounted his horse and his soldiers followed his lead. Fang, Iggy, Nudge and I started pulling down the barricades and poised to yank the door open. "Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath! Now for ruin! Now for a red dawn!"

We pulled the doors open and Theoden and his soldiers charged through it. Legolas and Aragorn followed on foot, while the Flock members flew out behind him. Below us, the soldiers were plowing through the orcs, and actually kind of _doing _something, too. Not totally getting their butts kicked. I darted downwards and found that that was a nice attack strategy. If I went down, stabbed, and then went back up in the air as fast as I could, I could take out orcs and avoid being hurt myself. Fang, Ig, and Nudge were following my lead.

It was only a few minutes in when I blinding light flashed in front of my vision. I glanced up and saw Gandalf, Eomer, and his men standing at the top of the hill, prepared to charge downwards. You know the rest. We kicked ass, the Uruks got creamed, and peace and love was restored to the oh-so-amazing land of Rohan. Plenty of people died, but for the sake of my mental health I decided not to dwell on that. After all, plenty of people lived. _Haldir _lived, and that didn't happen in the movie. I had actually saved his life. It kind of made me feel fuzzy on the inside. I mean, that's not saving the world, but it's saving a person. I could save the world, one person at a time. That's cool with me.

Wait, no, I take it back. There are a lot of people in the world. If I have to save one person at a time, I'll probably go insane.


	20. that went well

**20 chapters! Woot! You guys rock! Anyways, have some fun reading about to psycho derangedness of the one and only Angel :)**

**Third Person POV, Angel**

"Look, my lord. Osgiliath burns."

The city in front of them was constructed mostly of pale, crumbling rock, but fire had found something to latch onto. The flames weren't particularly big, but they gnawed through everything in their path and lit up the night, bathing the rangers, Sam, Frodo, and Angel in a flickering yellow light. Sam was fidgeting with his cloak nervously. Frodo stood stock-still, staring at the flames that licked desperately at all organic material. It was dying quickly, since it had exhausted most of the plants in the city already. Angel cocked her head. Fire wasn't an unfamiliar sight to her – she'd depended on it for warmth and to cook delicious meals of rats and squirrels ever since they'd lost their house – and fire being _dangerous _wasn't an unfamiliar sight to her, either – thanks to the Gasman and Iggy's bombs, mostly – but something about this made her feel small. Maybe it was because it caused so much destruction and she was powerless to stop it, since it didn't have a body to hurt or a mind to control.

"Mordor has come."

Angel leaned in a little closer to Sam.

"The Ring will not save Gondor," Frodo pleaded. "It only has the power to destroy. Please, let me go!"

Faramir hesitated slightly, and then shook his head to clear it. "Hurry."

Rangers grabbed the girl and the Hobbits roughly and pushed them forward. Frodo twisted. "Faramir!" he half cried, half wailed. "You must let me go!"

Faramir ignored him and they continued tramping on towards Osgiliath. Once they passed through the city limits, they were immediately under attack. Angel had to jump around to avoid being stuck full of arrows or flattened by rocks that shot through the sky like missiles.

"It's calling to me," Frodo whispered. "His Eye is almost on me."

"Take them to my father," said Faramir bitterly. "Tell him Faramir brings a mighty gift – one that may change our fortunes in this war."

"Do you want to know what happened to Boromir? You want to know why your brother died?" Sam growled. "He tried to take the Ring from Frodo! After swearing an oath to protect him, he tried to kill him! The Ring drove your brother mad!"

Faramir made to answer, but was cut off as a boulder shattered a tower and sent little bits of shrapnel raining down on them. Frodo was the only one completely unfazed by this. He gazed up at Faramir, a peculiar expression pasted on his face.

"Mr. Frodo?" said Sam nervously.

"They're here," he said in a faraway voice. "They've come."

An ear splitting screech rent the air and one of the big black dragons from before swooped down, gnashing its teeth and spitting. _There is the girl I was ordered not to harm, _Angel heard its rider think. _How annoying. It would be amusing to kill her._

Angel was seriously considering breaking this guy's mind just to show him how _amusing _she could be.

"Nazgul!" Faramir shouted. He grabbed Angel and the Hobbits and shoved them under an overhang of rubble. "Stay here. Keep out of sight," he spun around and addressed his men. "Take cover!"

Frodo apparently had no intention of keeping out of sight, because he rose to his feet as quickly as he'd been thrown down. He scuffled across the ground and up some steps. Sam and Angel exchanged a glance and then dashed after him.

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam yelled. "What're you doin'?"

Angel reached out with her mind and sensed something other than her was playing with Frodo's thoughts and bending him to its will. That was annoying. She didn't like not being in total control.

Frodo was already at the top of the stairs. The Nazgul had already swooped down and was hanging in mid-air in front of him. Angel tensed and prepared to whip out her wings if she had to. But she had something more important to do. As she and Sam reached the top of the steps as well, she grabbed the blonde hobbit's cloak and dragged him backwards.

"What're _you _doin'?" he said in disbelief. Her eyes flashed and a small smile played at her lips.

"Nothing," she said simply. His eyes glazed over.

"Nothing," he repeated dumbly. "You're not doing a thing." But then he shakes himself. "Mr. Frodo!" he says, and leaps forward, slamming into Frodo. They both went careening down the stairs on the other side. Angel gaped. How had he broken through her mind control? Only the Flock could do that, and even _they _found it difficult. She walked slowly to the top of the steps and looked down at them.

Frodo had his sword to his gardener's throat for a moment there, but he quickly dropped it. Angel couldn't be bothered to hone in on their conversation. She was too busy puzzling on how exactly Sam had _done _it. It pissed her off, that's what it did. Finally, she quit moping and stomped back down to the bottom level.

"You know the laws of the country, the laws of your father," a ranger guy was saying. "If you let them go, your life is forfeit."

"Then it is forfeit," said Faramir. "Release them."

The rangers backed away from Frodo and Sam grudgingly. Another one released Gollum, and Faramir beckoned for the four of them to follow him. Frodo, Sam, and Angel looked at each other. Frodo gulped, Sam shrugged, and Angel skipped happily after the man without any further interaction. Her blood had already quit boiling. Sometimes she thought she was too simple minded, but then she remembered that she was genetically enhanced to be exactly the opposite.

They snuck through the shadows until they stopped at a tunnel.

"This is the old sewer. Runs under the river through to the edge of the city," Faramir explained. "You'll find cover in the woods there."

Angel wrinkled her nose and peered down into the sewer's depths. It had been washed free of most of its horrible scent from lack of use, but it still smelled nasty, and she wasn't the biggest fan of sewers. Not that she hadn't kipped in them on more than one occasion.

"Do we have to?" she glanced back at Faramir and gave him the Bambi eyes.

"This is the only safe way," he said apologetically. She sighed and slumped over.

"I hate sewers," she grumbled.

"Captain Faramir… you have shown your quality, sir," said Sam. Faramir looked at him in shock. "The very highest."

"The Shire must be truly a great realm," Faramir countered. "Where gardeners are held in very high honor."

Sam blushed deeply.

"What road will you take once you reach the woods?" Faramir queried.

"Gollum says there's a path near Minis Morgul that leads through the mountains," Frodo supplied."

"Cirith Ungul?" Faramir turned to Gollum, who shrank backwards, looking guilty. Angel got a waft of thoughts and figured this Cirith Ungul wasn't too fun of a place. Gollum tried to creep away, but Faramir lunged and gripped him around the neck. "Is that its name?"

"No, no!" Gollum shook his head furiously. Faramir tightened his grip. "Yes!"

The ranger threw Gollum back onto the ground roughly. "Frodo… they say a great terror dwells in Minis Morgul. You cannot go that way."

"It is the only way," Gollum hacked. "Master says we must go to Mordor, so we must try."

"I must," Frodo confirmed, looking unsure of himself. Faramir looked hesitant, but nodded.

"Go, Frodo. Go with the goodwill of all men," he said.

"Thank you," Frodo ducked a little bow and turned down the tunnel. Gollum crept around and made to follow them, giving Faramir a wide berth, but he found himself being choked again.

"May death find you quickly if you bring them any harm," Faramir warned. Gollum whimpered, and the ranger practically threw him down the tunnel. Once he was out of sight, Faramir turned to Angel.

"Aren't you going with them?" he said. Angel smiled brightly and nodded. Her curls bounced with the motion.

"Uh-huh!" she chirped. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about your brother. Your dad, too. My sister Max has a jerkoff dad like you, sort of. Kind of. I mean, technically he's a good guy, but Max says she doesn't trust him, so I don't really trust him either. But he didn't seem to care about _his _son, either, but then when Ari died, he was really, really sad. So I bet your dad loves you, even if he doesn't act like it. Jeb says he pretended not to love Ari because it was the only way to make sure he was safe."

Faramir looked completely caught off guard by this onslaught of insight into his mind. "How did you…?"

"Oh, never mind," Angel said. She shot him one last smile and then flounced down the sewer behind her companions.

**Max POV**

I knew we were going to be confronted eventually, but I was hoping it would be in a setting other than an ex-battlefield covered in steaming bodies that were emitting some ungodly death smell.

"You have some explaining to do," said Aragorn angrily. I looked up at him innocently.

"Explaining?" I said meekly. Wow, me being meek. Didn't see that one coming. "What on earth do you mean?"

"The _wings_!" Gimli snapped.

"Well, you don't have to be so mean about it," I said. I turned to Gandalf, who was picking through the wreckage and trying to keep his spotless white robe spotless. "This answers _your _questions, G-man. You wanted to know what we were hiding? Here you go."

I extended my wings, twisting them around my body and stuffing them practically in his face. I really wasn't in the mood for this. My ears were ringing and I had a splitting headache, partly because the Voice was pissed at me and partly because Epsilon was a wicked head-butter.

"Yes, I saw them before," said Gandalf. "Wings. So you aren't human? Do all of you have these?"

"Even Total," I nodded. "That's why he has the doggy jacket on. We've gotta keep 'em secret, you know? They tend to freak people out a tad."

"Hey, you callin' me a freak?" Total ruffed.

"That I am."

"How is this possible?" Legolas asked, cocking his head. He was the only one who hadn't totally gone off the deep end. "I have never seen a creature such as you."

"We're one of a kind… six of a kind… twelve of a kind? Anyways, there aren't very many of us," I said. "It's a long story, but we're not really a species. Some dudes created us."

"What 'dudes', exactly?" said Aragorn.

"Evil dudes," Fang assured him.

"Very evil dudes," Iggy seconded.

"Super very evil dudes," Nudge added.

"I'm not even going to add onto that string of prefixes," I said.

"And what about that boy?" said Theoden. "The one who attacked you and killed one of my soldiers."

"Epsilon," I said. "Fang, Arry and I ran into him back when they took their little spills off that pathetic midget cliff. I don't know much about of him, to be honest. There was this other guy, Omega, who was supposed to be the perfect super soldier. It looks like the super very evil dudes decided to top him with Epsilon."

"Who are you?" asked Eomer. "Who are you, really?"

"I'm Maximum Ride," I smiled wryly. "I'm 98% human and 2% bird. I've got two abilities – well, one really. One's more of a curse. The ability is that I can fly, like, super-fast. Like light speed or something. The curse is that I hear this Voice in my head. It can be useful sometimes, but mostly it's just freaking annoying. Then I can also breathe under water, but so can the rest of the Flock – yeah, we're a _Flock _– so I don't count that as an ability."

"I'm Fang," said Fang. "I've got the same genetics. I turn invisible if I sit still long enough."

"I'm Iggy," said Iggy. "Same same with the whole human/bird thing. Uh… yeah, I'm blind, but you already know that. I can see when the background's all white, though. And I can feel colors."

"I'm Nudge. Duh. I mean, you already know our names, right? So why are we telling you again? Dramatic effect?" Nudge rambled. "Well, anyways, I'm also an Avian American. I'm _really _good with computers. Like, I'm some sort of super-hacker. It's really really really cool. But I guess you guys don't know what computers are. They're cool things from our world. And then, I can sense the left over vibrations in objects and figure out who did what while using it. That's pretty cool, too. It's probably a contributing thing towards my hacking thing, right? Also, I have a magnetic personality. Haha, get it? Magnetic personality? Because I'm also magnetic. I can attract other magnetic things towards me. Then I can breathe under water, too, just like everyone else. Well, not Total. He can't because he's - "

"Nudge!" Iggy yelled, squeezing his eyes shut and clapping his hands over his ears. "Shut up!"

"Don't look at me," said Total. "I'm just the dog."

"Then there's Angel and Gazzy, too," I said. "Angel can read minds, talk to fish, and kind of shape shift a little," I conveniently left out the controlling minds bit. I thought that might make them a little mad. "She's pretty powerful. Gazzy doesn't have any abilities."

"So he's the only one who doesn't have an ability," Eowyn said. "Really?"

"Well," I scratched the side of my head. "He has a _skill_, maybe, but I refuse to call it an ability."

"You know how Gasser's got some… well, gas problems?" said Iggy. When everyone but Eowyn, Eomer, and Theoden nodded, reminiscing with horror from the looks on their faces, Iggy continued. "Well, turns out he can crank that up a notch when he feels like it. The stench can actually knock you out. Like, seriously. No joke."

"Really?" Gandalf said. It didn't sound like a question.

"Really."

"It's gross," Nudge added. "Really really really really really _really _gross."

Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Theoden, Eomer and Eowyn stood in silence for a little while, staring at my wings, until Aragorn finally broke the silence.

"Why didn't you tell us about this earlier?" he demanded.

"Well, your reactions are Exhibit A," I rolled my eyes.

"But this could have been very useful!" he said. "Frodo and Sam are _walking _to Mordor right now. Imagine how much simpler this all could have been if you'd just flown the Ring there?"

I paused. "Wow. Didn't think of that. Oh, well. Ange's with them. If things start getting rough, she can always knock 'em out and lug that thing to the Mountain of Doom and Destruction or whatever it's called."

They all stared at me. More horror.

"Jesus, I was just kidding!" I cried, crossing my arms. "I mean, Angel _probably _wouldn't knock them out."

Gimli gave a soft moan.

"Good job explaining," said Fang. "I can tell you really have them convinced."

"Can it, emo boy."


	21. Count Dooku Rocks Your Socks

**Max POV**

"My lady Max!" Narissa nearly dropped the massive pile of clean laundry she was carrying as she rushed over to me. "Oh, lady Max! I'm so glad you're alright! I can never repay you, m'lady, you've saved my brother twice now!"

"It was no big deal, seriously," I said, rubbing my pounding skull. I wanted to _sleep, _gosh darnit. It had been one long night, and after a morning of being interrogated, too, I was totally beat. "Hey, Narissa, do you have any idea where I can crash?"

She looked confused.

"You know, where I can go to sleep?"

Her expression brightened. "Yes!" she said, craning her neck around the pile of laundry to meet my eyes. "Lady Eowyn has invited m'lady and your younger sister to sleep in her quarters. It's a bit crowded, see, but she said that two young girls shouldn't have to sleep with all those men."

I silently thanked Eowyn. I was totally comfortable with Fang and Iggy, and the rest of the Fellowship were cool with me, too, but all those smelly, unfamiliar dudes practically spraying testosterone out of every pore (especially after a battle) did _not _sound appealing. "Sweet," I said. "Thanks, Narissa."

Narissa tried to bow, but the laundry pile swayed dangerously and she thought better of it and made do with a dip of the head. "No, no, thank _you_, lady Max!"

"Uh-huh," I said. "Yeah, you're welcome. See you around!"

I went to go find Nudge, who I soon discovered was playing with Total right outside of the gate. She was throwing him off the side of the ledge watching him as he struggled to stay aloft. It was kind of funny. "Yo, Nudge! You wanna crash?"

"I want food more!" she called. "But yeah, I'm _totally _exhausted. I could sleep for a month, and eat a horse. But can we get food, first? Because I feel like that's more essential. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and all that."

"Um," I said. Maybe there was food in Eowyn's room – she was practically the princess around here, after all. "Yeah, just come with me. We'll get some chow, too."

"Can Total come?" asked Total, mimicking Nudge's girlish voice. I rolled my eyes.

"Girls only. 'Cause girls rule," I told him. "Boys drool. Keep out. And all that good stuff. And boy dogs count, too. Sorry."

Total pouted but stomped away back into the Keep, probably to find Fang and Ig and form some sort of boys only club to get back at me. Nudge skipped after me and we started to scour the place for Eowyn's quarters. Helm's Deep was like our nightmare. It was big, but the walls pressed in from all directions and it was freakishly claustrophobic. I had to duck under some arches or I'd crack my already throbbing skull open, which would not be a good thing. My potential concussion was already almost gone, thanks to the super-duper healing skills we seemed to have acquired (all the bruises from the first Epsilon encounter already healed, even Fang's. Almost all our little scratches and such from the battle were practically healed already, so it wasn't just Fang and me) but with the Voice being pissed at me and all my head wasn't feeling so hot.

"Are you looking for something?" came a voice from behind us. We jumped and spun around. It was Eowyn, smirking at us like she knew how desperately lost and uncomfortable we were.

"Yeah," I said. "Your room, actually. Narissa said you invited us to sleep there. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Of course," she nodded. "I know what it's like to be lost in a sea of men, and retiring into a communal room full of them would be even _more _uncomfortable."

I snorted. "Uh, yeah. I wasn't really looking forward to that."

Eowyn led us through the twist and turns until we came to a small, heavy wooden door. She pushed it open. Inside was a large, open room with a couch-like bed and a fireplace in the very middle. On the far side of the room, two cots were crammed up against one another. Nudge rushed forward and poked the first bed. Then she ripped off the comforter. The sheets were white and clean and the blanket was pretty thick and warm looking, just the sort of bed we never had. Nudge let out a little _squee! _of excitement and flopped down on the mattress. She hugged the pillow to her chest.

"Screw food," she decided. "I wanna go to sleep right now!"

Eowyn laughed. "You must be very tired after the battle last night," her expression darkened. "But at least you were in it."

I looked at her curiously. "Wait, you _wanted _to be in that fight?"

"Of course," she said bitterly. "I am part of Rohan. I am capable. I want to defend the Mark. But I'm a woman, so that will not happen."

"Hey!" I clapped her on the shoulder. "Women are just as good at doing the dirty work as men – naw, _better_. You've just gotta show them whose boss. Kick their wimpy little butts every once in a while and keep them in place and they'll turn into your minions faster than you can say 'girl power'."

"I admire you two," Eowyn sighed. "I really do."

"Well don't!" Nudge chirped. "Become the object of admiration! Whoop booty! Wear pants every once in a while! I mean, I absolutely _love _dresses and skirts, but I you can't fight in them, like, at all, you know? So ditch 'em! Grab a sword! Slice'n'dice! It's kind of fun, actually. I mean, when you're winning. And not being chased across the state. Uh, Country. World. Multiple worlds."

"What she said."

Eowyn still looked unconvinced, but I wasn't worried. I knew she would wake up and smell the coffee sooner or later. I think she defeated, like, the strongest orc of all time or something in the movie, and it was pretty dang intense.

**Third Person POV, Angel**

Angel snuck off that night again. She was tired of travelling on foot. It made her legs ache and it was so boring and _slow_. A little break wouldn't hurt anyone. Now that she knew the way, finding her way to Mordor took under a day – three hours, maybe. When she landed in front of the Tower of the Eye, Mouth was already waiting for her.

"It's been a while, angel," he drawled.

"Only a couple days," she said defensively. "I was busy!"

"You are allied with the ring-bearer."

"What, never heard of a double agent?"

Mouth pursed his lips. "But for who?"

_For us, of course, _she made him think. "For you, of course."

"Of course," he repeated after the standard eyes-glazed-over and look of confusion.

Angel snickered. If this evil dark lord was so easy to sway, how powerful could he really be? _Maybe I'm just more powerful, _she thought. _Maybe _I _have the power to take over the entire world! That would be so cool!_

"So anyways, I have some news," said Angel. "You like news, don't you? Frodo and Sam and me are on our way here."

"Which route, pray tell?" asked Mouth dryly. Angel told him. Mouth's lips curled up in a raw smile that was somewhat morphed by his creepy mouth. Angel looked at him with her nose wrinkled, like he was a steaming pile of dog excrement on her freshly-cut and watered lawn.

**Max POV**

"Let's U and A, shall we?" I said. My Flock nodded vigorously. We were all totally psyched that we could actually _fly_ now, stretch our wings and soar above the treetops, skim the clouds and swim in an ocean of open air – the only thing that made being a mutant freak even remotely worth it.

Fang, Iggy, and Nudge all leaped into the air, but before I could take off, Gadalf grabbed my arm and held my back.

"Don't go too far away. Stay close. Any funny business and I'll know, Maximum," he said threateningly. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't call me Maximum, grandpa," I retorted. "And I'm not a moron."

It was ridiculous that after all of this, the wizard _still _didn't trust me. I mean, I'd risked my neck multiple times to save Middle-Earthian hide. I'd let slip my secret, which should have _stayed _secret, and even told him a little about our history. I feel like that's grounds enough to trust me, because I don't exactly hand out that touchy-feely friendship crap right and left.

I gave him a middle finger salute, stuck out my tongue, and hopped into the sky, beating the air with my wings and sending clouds of dust spinning out all around me.

It wasn't that far to Isengard – not for _us_, anyways. It took the entire day for the suckers on horseback to get there, but the Flock was just zipping around lazily, swooping down to wherever whenever we saw something interesting and just generally being very bored. My wings were sort of sore by the time we landed, though, since they were out of practice.

"Max! Fang! Iggy! Nudge! Total!" Gazzy, Merry, and Pippin grinned brightly as we landed. The riders were maybe a hundred yards behind us. Merry and Pippin's expressions changed rapidly from relief to happiness to confusion to shock, but Gazzy jumped to his feet.

"Cool!" he said. "We're showing off our wings now?"

Then he jumped off the boulder the three were sitting on, unfurling his faintly speckled white wings, and swooping up to join us. Nudge and I hugged him while Fang and Iggy gave him high-fives.

"What?" was all Merry could manage.

"Long story, midget boy," I told him. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to burst out laughing. Both of the hobbits looked totally freaked out. It was hilarious.

"Wow," said Total. "Is that beef jerky? I didn't know they had beef jerky here! Hand it over!"

He jumped out of Fang's arms and flapped his wings furiously so he wouldn't totally crash land. He still slammed headfirst into a pile of food.

"This is not beef," he said, chewing and swallowing slowly. "But it's good. Tastes like chicken."

"You young rascals!" came a booming voice behind us. We turned to see Gimli, fuming. "A merry chase you've had us on, and now we find you feasting and smoking!"

"We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts," Pippin insisted. "The salted pork is particularly tasty."

"Salted pork?"

Gandalf laughed. "Hobbits."

"We are under orders from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isengard," Merry explained.

"Treebeard?" said Gandalf. "Good. I would like to see him. Hop on, hobbits!"

Pippin jumped on a horse with Aragorn and Merry with Gandalf. Gazzy started chatting excitedly with Nudge and I swear to god I didn't know it was possible for two people to talk so fast and still understand each other.

We were interrupted, however, by a forty foot talking walking tree.

"Sweet mother of God," I said. "I'm tripping, aren't I?"

Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking. _The Ents were in the movie, Max! _but there's something about seeing a giant plant moving around and talking conversationally in _real life _that sort of shocks your senses, you know?

"Young master Gandalf," said Treebeard. _Young? _If the G-man's young then my name's not Maximum Ride.

…well, technically, my first name should probably be something else and if I had a birth certificate my last name would be either Martinez or Batchelder… you know what? Never mind.

"Oh my," said Treebeard. "What interesting children. When did you grow wings, young master Gasman?"

"A while ago." Gazzy shrugged.

"Wood, water, stock, and stone I can master," Treebeard continued. His voice was deep and booming, like he was constantly holding back a burp. "But there's a wizard up there in that tower."

"Show yourself!" Aragorn shouted.

"Why don't we just chop of his head and be done with it?" Gimli suggested, looking fidgety and wigged out. Nudge swooped down behind him and shouted "BOO!" in his ear. He jumped and glared at her.

"No, we need him alive. We need him to talk," said Gandalf.

"You have fought many wars and slain many men Theoden King and made peace afterwards," Saruman appeared at the top of the Orthanc, staring down and looking pretty dang ticked. "Can we not take counsel together as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace, you and I?"

"Bull," I said immediately. "Cut the crap, you turd."

"We shall have peace," Theoden began. Aragorn looked at him in alarm. "We shall have peace when you answer for the burning of the Westfold and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace when the lives of the soldiers whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg… are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own crows… we shall have peace!"

Aragorn's alarmed expression soon switched to a more smug mug.

Haha, see what I did there? I'm Dr. Seuss, I tell you.

Saruman spat some pathetic counter argument, obviously giving up on the whole 'why can't we all just be friends?' thing. Gandalf launched a sharp retort right back at Saruman. Saruman then proceeded to pull out a black crystal ball and stare into it while poking fun at Gandalf and his 'love'. Sort of like Voldemort and Dumbledore.

Jesus, what is it with me and Harry Potter references?

So anyways, Saruman was basically all like, 'you have no hope!' and 'that ranger scum could never become king!' and 'lololol those Halfling dudes are totally dead by now'.

At the end of the long speech, Gazzy's jaw dropped and his eyes lit up with realization. "HOLY CRAP!" he said. "THAT'S COUNT DOOKU. THAT'S TOTALLY COUNT DOOKU."

"Ohmygosh!" Nudge said. "That totally is! We're gonna fight count Dooku! Like from Star Wars! I feel like a Jedi! How wicked is this? Against the Sith, right? Man, this is one fictional event after another, isn't it?"

"Count Dooku?" Iggy whined. "Dang! I _really _wish I could see right now."

"Well, what do you know," I said. "I totally forgot that that actor plays Saruman, too. Odd."

"Actor?" said Aragorn.

"Just ignore them," Fang said. "The guy looks like another guy. Long story."

"Come down, Saruman, and your life will be spared," Gandalf promised.

"Oh, cut the crap. Want me to fly up and kill him?" I suggested.

"Save your pity and your mercy, I have no use for it," Saruman spat. He then proceeded to blast Gandalf with a giant fireball, which Gandalf blocked. Fang let out a low, impressed whistle, and Iggy kept on complaining that he really wanted to see right now.

"Saruman!" Gandalf barked. "Your staff is broken!"

He made a fist and then opened it. Saruman's staff shattered into a million pieces. Okay, so how does that work? You can just say _your staff is broken! _And it breaks? Could I do that with Flyboys? _Flyboys, your entire bodies are broken! Haha! _Probably not. Man, sucks to be me.

Someone was coming up behind Saruman. I squinted to get a good look at him.

"Snape guy!" I gasped.

"What?" said Fang.

"Look, it's Snape guy!" I pointed.

"His name is Grima."

"Oh."

"Grima!" Theoden shouted. "You need not follow him! You were not always as you are now. You were a man of Rohan. Come down!"

"A man of Rohan?" Saruman laughed. "What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs? The victory at Helms Deep does not belong to you, Theoden Horse Master. You are a lesser son of greater sires!"

"Grima!" Theoden said again, ignoring Saruman. "Come down. Be free of him."

"Free? He will never be free." Saruman scoffed.

"No!" Grima gasped. He moved towards Saruman.

"Get down, cur," Saruman snapped, slapping Grima to the ground.

"Saruman! You were deep in the enemy's counsel. Tell us what you know," said Gadalf.

Saruman started to say something, but I was too busy watching happily as Grima went to stab him to pay attention. This Saruman guy was really getting on my nerves, even if he _was _played by Count Dooku. He was too full of empty threats.

Saruman died with two stab wounds to his back and Grima with an arrow sprouting from his heart. Saruman also got impaled on a wheelbarrow.

I know he could handle it, but I clapped my hand over the Gasman's eyes anyways. It was grodie.

Pippin jumped off of Aragorn's horse, splashing through the murky water and pulling the black crystal ball out. He looked at it curiously.

"Well, bless my bark."

"Peregrin Took! I'll take that, my lad," said Gandalf urgently. "Quickly now, quickly."

Reluctantly, Pippin handed the crystal ball to Gandalf who immediately stuffed it inside his cloaks.

"Send word to our allies and to any corner of Middle Earth that still stands free," said Gandalf. "Our enemy is on the move. We need to know where he will strike next."


	22. Life of the Party

**Hey guise :) Sooo, I'd like to know if you peeps are enjoying this enough to even consider reading a sequel. This is still going to be a fair bit longer, but there are some things that need to be included (or not) if there's going to be a second installment to this epic saga.**

**Ahem. Just kidding ;D But anyways, if you could include an 'OF COURSE!1!' or a 'UMMM YEAH NO WAY' in the review I KNOW you'll all be making (hinthintnudgenudge) that would be great :D**

**Max POV**

"So all that strength and stuff," Gimli's speech was slurred and he lolled around in his seat drunkenly. Probably because he _was_ drunk. "And the… healing… and… stuff… that's all because of the wings. And stuff."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I rolled my eyes. "And stuff."

"I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers," Legolas looked down at his hand, concerned. Eomer and I raised our eyebrows at each other.

"That would be because you're totally hammered," I explained. Legolas gulped.

"I think it's affecting me."

"Yes, that's sort of the point," said Eomer.

"Hehe," Gimli hiccupped. "What did I say…? He can't hold his liquor!" He giggled again, then his eyes crossed and he fell backwards onto the floor. Legolas looked surprised.

"I win!"

Eomer sat down across from the elf. "Ah, but the question is, can you beat me?"

"And goodbye!" I stood up, stepped over Gimli, and started to look for Fang. This whole being surrounded by drunk guys wasn't turning out to be so fun.

"C'mon, it's really good," Pippin grinned hazily, thrusting a mug of ale at Nudge and Gazzy. They exchanged a doubtful glance. I gritted my teeth and fell upon Pippin like a mama bear.

"Back off, midget," I growled. "They're underage, stupid."

He didn't even seem to recognize the livid look in my eyes and he just laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.

"C'mon, ma'am, it's delicious!"

I sighed, tapped my head with my finger as if I was making a hard decision, then dropped my arm and kicked the hobbit in the south pole.

"Ah!" he wheezed, before keeling over. I nudged his whimpering body aside and turned to lecture Nudge and Gazzy.

"Alright, guys, I know this is Middle Earth and you're not going to get in trouble for it, but you're not having a _drop _until you're twenty one. Not unless you find yourself back in Germany or somewhere where the drinking age is sixteen. You hear me?" I said. They nodded and saluted. "Good. And _don't _eat any of that dried out beef. Gimli… actually, you don't wanna know."

I found Fang five minutes later. He and Aragorn were sulking around in a corner, not really talking to each other.

"Well, excuse me for interrupting your brooding party," I said, pulling a chair up and sitting in it backwards, facing them. "But I'm desperate for some entertainment. How are you two?"

"Entertainment? This is a party, you loner," said Fang.

"Says the emo freak who hasn't moved from his emo corner this entire time," I rolled my eyes. When Aragorn chuckled I said, "I'm talking to you, too, ranger boy."

Both of them scowled and lapsed back into silence. I sighed and settled into a chair, crossing my legs and arms and silently hoping that one of the kids would come get me and want to leave so I could disappear with them. Iggy, Nudge, and Gazzy seemed to be having fun, though, and that didn't happen.

"Max? Can I speak to you… alone?" I tore my attention away from observing Gazzy, who was teaching Merry and Pippin that their music was primitive and weird. He kept perfectly imitating Lady Gaga, auto tune, instruments, and all, to show them what a real dance beat was. Whatever that means.

I looked at Aragorn, confused. Then I looked at Fang, who shrugged, so I shrugged, too. "Sure. Why not?"

The ranger led me out of the main hall and onto a balcony. I hopped onto the railing and frowned at him. "What's up?"

Aragorn leaned against the railing and stared out into the darkness for a while. The only noises were the dull rumble of noise from inside, the occasional whistle of wind, and the sound of my boots clicking against the stone as I swung them back and forth. Finally, he spoke.

"I know you haven't told us everything," Aragorn began nervously. "As I'm sure you know, Gandalf doesn't trust you. To be honest, I don't know if I trust you, anymore, either."

"That's cool with me," I shrugged. "Don't trust people. That's my philosophy."

"I want to trust you, though," Aragorn continued. "Max. Who are you… really? Where are you from? How did you get this way?"

I hesitated. Telling him anything would be stupid. Pointless. He was just a fictional character. _Yeah, a fictional character. So what can it hurt? _I took a deep breath.

"I'm the only one with parents. Real, honest to god parents that I know exist," I said slowly. "I discovered them a little while ago. Before that, I was just like the rest of the Flock. No family except each other. For all I know, the rest of them might not even _have _parents. Maybe they weren't born. Maybe they were created. Sorta like orcs, I guess. My dad sprung us from the School, where we were kept, when I was ten. Before that, my life consisted purely of being experimented on. Sometimes they would forget to feed us. We were always sick from the things they tested on us. Hungry, thirsty, sick, and weak, and trapped. Then Jeb saved us. Then he died. Or pretended to, at least…"

I found myself telling my entire life story, from Angel being kidnapped to Max 2 to my thing against redheads. Aragorn didn't say a word the entire time, just sat and listened in silence. Even once I was finished, it took him a while to speak again.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what? Last time I checked you weren't a deranged scientist or a mutant man eating wolf thing."

"I understand now," he said. "Why you didn't want to tell us about your… additions. I would have done the same thing, were I in your situation."

Then he straightened and moved to re-enter the party.

"Hey!" I yelled after him. "So do you trust me now?"

He paused, turned his head slightly. "With my life."

It was past midnight when I finally decided that I was going to have to be the one to put my foot down. I ordered the Flock to bed, and after that people started trickling back towards their living quarters as well. Nudge, Eowyn, and I all crashed in her room, but after an hour of tossing and turning without even coming close to falling asleep, I got up and walked around.

It was mostly quiet. There were a few people wandering around, but the halls were deserted other than that. I made my way around, not knowing (or caring) where I was going. I was lost in my own thoughts. Recounting everything to Aragorn had stirred something up inside of me, and I was feeling homesick. Homesick for home – meaning the planet earth with its indoor plumbing and other such luxuries – homesick for mom, homesick for Ella, even homesick for _Jeb_, a little bit. Only a little bit, though.

I knew that was stupid, though. I had the Flock with me, and the Flock was what really mattered. _Angel. _Angel was somewhere else, though. Was she okay? Was she scared? Was she holding up alright? _Yes, yes, and yes. _Even though she was only six… seven years old, Angel is creepily, ah, what's the word? Creepy. Creepily creepy.

Well, that's not a very nice way to speak about your little sort-of sister. I'll go with steadfast instead, how's that?

Thankfully, I was torn from my increasingly offensive thoughts by a scream.

Wow, there I go again. I'm _thankful _for a _scream. _WTF is up with me?

But anyways, I followed the noise and swung open a door. It hit a sleeping someone in the head and I got yelled at, but I was already picking through the now waking men towards Pippin, who held that black crystal ball in both hands like it was glued to his skin. Only, it wasn't so black anymore. There was a light in the middle like a fireball clawing to get out. Pippin was still standing up, but writhing in pain and most definitely being the main source of the screaming.

I hurled myself forward and ripped the orb out of the hobbit's hands. Immediately I knew why he had appeared to be in so much pain: it was like how my brain attacks used to be. Migraines on steroids along with freaky images flashing across my eyes. I doubled over, giving a shout of pain from the shock of it all but otherwise trying to keep as quiet as possible so there wasn't, like, mass hysteria or something.

…but it just _hurt so much. _Physically and mentally. Physically it felt like Epsilon head butting me fifty times in a row as hard as he could with shards of broken glass strapped to the crown of his skull. Mentally… I could _see _things. Not _nice_, brain attack things (ie innocents being tortured, little children being killed, mysterious answers to all my problems that just seem to spawn more problems, puppy cancer, etc…) but something even more personal than that. They were dead. Everyone. All of them. Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gasser, Angel, Mom, Ella, Ari, even Total… I could see their bodies, mangled and soaked in thick, dark blood.

_It's not real, Maximum, _said the Voice infuriatingly calmly. _You're breaking down. It's fake. You're stronger than this._

"I'm not breaking down!" I shrieked out loud, probably looking like I was having some sort of seizure. "Shut up!"

Then I smashed the orb against the ground as hard as physically possible. Unfortunately, it didn't shatter into a zillion pieces as I'd hoped but just rolled under some random chair. Aragorn and Fang both grabbed either of my arms and Gandalf swept the black sphere up into a blanket. He rounded on Pippin.

"Fool of a Took!" _Throw yourself in next time and relieve us of your stupidity! _I almost laughed at that memory, but the effort made something in my head start stabbing my brain to death, so I stopped.

"Max," Fang muttered. "You okay? Max!"

"Max, are you alright?" said Aragorn earnestly.

"Dudes, seriously, give me a second," they were practically ripping my arms out of my sockets. "And… stop playing tug-of-war with poor little Maxi, please."

Aragorn immediately let go of me, but Fang's grip only slackened a little bit. I snorted at him. Hopefully he wasn't about to turn into the annoying overprotective guy, because if he was I would kick his butt to prove just who needed to be protected.

Gandalf was calming down a hyperventilating Pippin with smooth words that I could understand. Elvish, maybe.

_'It's alright now. Relax. Be still.' _"Look at me! What did you see?"

"A tree," Pippin gasped. "A white tree. In a stone courtyard. It was dead! The city was burning!"

"Minis Tirith?" Gandalf said. "Is that what you saw?"

"I saw… I saw _him_," Pippin sobbed. "I could hear his voice in my head."

Join the club.

"And what did you tell him?" When the hobbit didn't immediately answer, Gandalf shook him. "Speak!"

"He asked my name. I didn't answer," Pippin managed. "He _hurt _me."

"What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?"

"Nothing! Oh, nothing! I swear!"

Gandalf pursed his lips. Then he beckoned for the Fellowship members – who had slowly trickled into the room at varying times – to follow him. He dragged Pippin to his feet and we stumbled through the still pitch black halls until we reached Theoden's room. He was still awake and, even better, still dressed, so we didn't have much trouble getting in.

"What is it?" Theoden said, looking worried. "What happened?"

"This fool held the Palantir," the wizard said spitefully. Theoden immediately understood, which meant I must have been seriously missing something.

"What did he see? Did he tell of anything?"

"No," said Gandalf firmly. "There was no lie in Pippin's eyes; a fool, but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring.

"We have been strangely blessed," the wizard continued. "What Pippin saw in the Palantir was a glimpse of our enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike Minis Tirith. Our victory at Helm's Deep has showed our enemy one thing."

He indicated Aragorn. "The heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still – strength enough yet to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle Earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minis Tirith to the ground before he sees the Return of the King."

Did they ever say 'The Two Towers' in the Two Towers? I mean, they said 'The Fellowship of the Ring' in the first movie, and there goes Gandalf with the title of the third, but why exactly is the second one called Two Towers? Shouldn't it be something more appropriate like 'Killing Things' or 'Some Epic Battles But Not As Epic As What's Coming Up' or 'Chasing Hobbits' or… well, you get it. I think Two Towers was just an excuse to abuse alliteration, but that's just me.

Gandalf turned to Theoden. "If the beacons of Condor are lit, Rohan must be ready."

"Tell me. Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours?" said Theoden. Aragorn looked about ready to stab his face off. "What do we owe Gondor?"

"Hey!" I objected. "You never _asked _for help, genius. How can you expect help from someone who thinks you're getting along just fine?"

Ooooh, look who doesn't have a comeback!

"They will be warned," said Gandalf sourly. "I will ride to Minis Tirith, and I won't be going alone."


	23. Friends and Enemies

**Sorry for slowing down with the updates. Life's been sorta busy lately. I'll try harder, though, 'promise (:**

**Third Person POV, Angel**

Angel landed on a rock and balanced, folding her wings in neatly. She teetered a bit, delicately, but soon found her center of gravity and stood still on one sneakered tip-toe.

"Hello," she said after around two minutes. The position was getting uncomfortable, but for some reason she felt like a dramatic entrance. The hobbits and Gollum stared up at her.

"Where _have _you _been_?" said Frodo breathlessly. "We've been worried sick about you!"

She shrugged, cocked her head, and gave them each a penetrating stare. "Nowhere. I've been with you this entire time. What are you talking about?"

Well, you know the drill. Glazed over expressions, confused looks, and then total acceptance. It was just too easy. Thankfully, Sam didn't display any of his previous resistance. He had probably been able to push her out before out of a stronger emotion for Frodo than the effort she put into controlling him. She would have to be careful about that in the future.

"So, what's that?" she asked, pointing at the giant citadel in front of them. It was dark and shadowy but glowed with a certain pale sickly aura. Angel was almost surprised there wasn't a sign on the front that said 'Haunted House of Doom'.

"Minus Morgul," Gollum hissed. "The Dead City. Very nasty place. Full of… enemies. Quickly, get down! They will see us!"

Angel jumped down and crouched behind the rock.

"Look! Look!" Gollum rasped. "The stairs! The way into Mordor! We have found it."

He was pointing at what could hardly be called a staircase leading up the craggy cliff face, winding this way and that, with a near vertical drop should you happen to slip. Angel was suddenly extremely grateful for her wings if they were going to have to climb up _that_.

They stole through the shadows towards the base of the stairs, but Frodo broke off from the little group before they were halfway there.

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam yelled. Gollum let out a strangled cry of horror. The gardener turned to Angel desperately. "Get him!"

Angel nodded stiffly, saluted, and then dashed out and tackled the hobbit to the ground. It was only then that she realized exactly how tall she was compared to him. By all logic he should be taller than her, but she was actually taller than him. Geez, these hobbits were so freaking short!

She dragged him back to the base of the stairs, hissing insults all the while, but once they got back, she cut that out and just smiled sweetly up at Sam, dropping Frodo at his feet.

"Here ya' go!"

He looked supremely creeped out.

**Max POV**

Some things I'm absolutely positive about:

Evil mad scientists are always a no no.

Gazzy reeks.

My cooking will be the cause of the apocalypse.

My mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies on the planet.

Merry and Pippin should never be separated. Extreme consequences may follow.

It was only yesterday that Gandalf left for Minis Tirith, toting Pippin along with him, but Fang and Aragorn already have another friend in their emo boat. Merry has been bumming around like his is the most depressing life anyone could ever have. Whenever I tried to talk to him, maybe cheer him up a little, he just gave me this dark look and sulked off.

That's why I was glad when the giant flaming torch that meant doom was upon us got lit up. All this negative energy was really getting to me.

"The beacons of Minis Tirith!" Aragorn bellowed. "The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!"

I stared at him. Theoden, from next to me, did the same.

"I'm going to pretend I know what that means."

"Then Rohan will answer," said Theoden, after a long pause and several threatening glares from Eowyn and Eomer. "Muster the Rohirrim."

"Okay. I think I know what that means. Never mind."

"Assemble the army at Dunharrow – as many men as can be found," the king ordered. "You have two days. On the third, we ride to Gondor, and to war. Gamling, make haste across the Riddermark. Summon every able-bodied man to Dunharrow!"

…okay, I _was _going to yell at him about the man thing, but at this point I think it was basically a lost cause so I'd pretty much given up on him.

"Great! More war!" I said, only a little bit sarcastically. "Fang! Ig! Nudge! Gasser! Get your butts over here!"

I ran around gathering up my Flock members and led them all into the armory.

"Alright, guys, I think that since we're headed into a gigantic battle it might be a good idea to find some more appropriate armor," I said. Fang's was the only face that didn't light up when I said that. "I was thinking maybe some chainmail. Nothing too big, guys, and remember, it has to be able to let your wings out."

"Chainmail sounds good," Fang agreed. "We can melt the backs off. Make little slits."

"Cool!" I said. "Nudge, go grab Gimli. He's supposed to be good with this sort of stuff."

When Nudge returned, the dwarf in tow, five minutes later, he accepted the job immediately and led us to the forges of Helm's Deep which he complained were miniscule and primitive. I had to fight not to roll my eyes. If he thought the forges of Helm's Deep were primitive, wait 'til he found out that forges in general are ancient history.

I'm not sure how Gimli did it, really. He just took a rod, heated it up a couple hundred degrees, sliced it down the back of a chainmail shirt, and wala! A slit. Then another one. Fang tried the shirt on. It fit perfectly and, even better, his wings slid in and out easily.

Shouldn't that sort of thing be a little harder than that? Ah, well. Whatever. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth or whatever. I guess those dwarf guys are supposed to be good at that kind of stuff.

Anyways, twenty minutes later we all had these trippy chain mail shirts that fit ridiculously well, even for Gazzy, who wasn't exactly adult-sized quite yet. Underneath my sweatshirt it was barely visible at all.

"Thanks, man," I said. He nodded his acknowledgement, but I didn't miss the confused and maybe a little scared glance as he left the room in a hurry. Gimli didn't trust us. He _feared _us, even. The thought made me want to go and smack him. But I didn't.

I ran back and found Narissa.

"Hey!" I said. "You got any backpacks? Ours are all crapped out, and we need something to carry all our junk."

"Of – of course, Lady Max!" said Narissa eagerly. Then she froze, and suddenly took on a suspicious air of shyness. "But… are you sure you wouldn't prefer a shoulder bag?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Well… I mean no disrespect if this offends you, m'lady, but would a rucksack hurt your… your..." she indicated the bulge in my back that I wasn't bothering to hide anymore and gulped. "_Wings?_"

I stared at her for a second and she paled. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, miss, I'm sorry!"

"Uh… yeah, it's okay… a backpack would be… cool…" I told her. Color returned to her face in the form of bright red splotches. She nodded quickly and bowed away.

All these formalities are really starting to freak me out.

Narissa returned ten minutes later with five backpacks and I quickly scrounged whatever knickknacks remained from our old ones and put them in the new ones, then burned the old ones. Like, literally. They smelled that bad.

Our belongings amounted to: a quickly diminishing first-aid kit, a few changes of underwear per person, one change of shirt per person, a few changes of socks to go around, and Nudge had another pair of jeans. The snacks had been exhausted and Fang's computer had disappeared mysteriously, along with all our iPods and other such electronics. We never had any cellular devices in the first place, so there goes that.

Then I took the initiative to scrounge up other things that could be useful and divide them among ourselves: a few bars of soap (probably made out of animal fats, but we needed _something _to pose as deodorant), two combs, some strips of leather I was told were used to tie up hair, some bandages and the purest alcohol I could find for medical purposes, and a few sharp pointy objects that I was sure would be useful somewhere down the line.

Then, I settled down to wait.

Two days later, we left Helm's Deep. The Flock and I flew the entire way, acting as scouts so we wouldn't have any nasty run-ins with orcs and keeping an eye out all around us for any signs of allies or enemies. Fortunately, there were zilch.

We made a more sturdy camp one night because we expected to stay there longer, waiting to rendezvous with more soldiers. After setting up the 'Flock Tent', I ordered Fang to keep an eye on things and then jumped off the nearest convenient cliff. It had been a busy few days, traveling and preparing and gearing up for war, and I needed to take a little while to think.

Epsilon.

My trains of thought wandered, but they usually all fell back to him. Who was he? What was he doing here? How did he _get _here? Could we use him to get back?

_Yo, Voice. Any answers you want to give to me for free?_

Of course not. All I got was some half-assed riddle.

This is what the Voice told me, word for word, no joke:_ Epsilon could be your most valuable friend._


	24. Because Ghosts Totally Exist

**Max POV**

_Huh, Voice? Come again?_

_ I said that Epsilon could be your most valuable friend, _the Voice said.

_That's insane. He's tried to kill me twice already, _I snapped back.

_Maximum, look at the big picture._

_ I am looking at the big picture! I'm big picture girl! And in the big picture, Epsilon is trying to kill me!_

_ You are not looking hard enough, _said the Voice. _Think about it. Here, you have no connections to the outside world except for… Epsilon. He is quite obviously working for Itexicon. You can learn from him._

_ Erm, _I thought. _Really? Because I thought Itex was, like, the enemy._

_ Yes, Itex is, like, the enemy, Maximum, _I had a suspicious feeling the Voice was teasing me. _But look at the big picture._

_ Okay… but… actually, you know what? Whatever. I don't care. Just for the record, Voice, I think you are addled in the… computer chips, _I told it. The Voice tried to talk to me again, but I just ignored it and went on my merry way. I was _not _about to start buddying up with _Epsilon, _of all people.

I landed back in the camp. It was dark. The moment I landed, I was assaulted from all sides by Nudge, Iggy, Gazzy, and Gimli.

"Max!" Nudge said. "We're leaving!"

"We are?" I said. "Where?"

"Into there - " Iggy jabbed a finger towards a giant crack in the side of the mountain. How he managed to indicate it spot-on I'll never know. "To raise an army of the undead."

"Oh," I said. "Okay."

**Third Person POV, Angel**

"It's cold," Angel complained. "Are we there yet?"

"Not yet, not yet," Gollum muttered. "No, we are not there yet. The girl is impatient."

"Yeah!" Angel said indignantly, pulling herself up another step. "Of course I am! This is boring!"

_I could just be flying up there! _She thought inwardly. _Oh, wait! I actually could!_

Then she fell backwards.

"Angel!" Sam hollered, lunging forward to grab her, but she knocked his hand away, somersaulting in the air and whipping out her wings. Then she hovered in front of them. They were… awe-stricken.

_Not for long, _she thought with an evil smile.

"I'm just climbing along with you guys," she told them. "I don't have wings. That's ridiculous."

They completely accepted that, of course, and Angel's twisted grin grew even bigger.

That night, they slept on a ledge miles above the ground. Angel was even _more _glad she could fly – and that she was used to sleeping higher up. If she was any other seven year old, she would probably thrash around in her sleep, fall off, and splatter into a pancake on the ground below.

Gollum took watch – they only rested for a few hours. They couldn't afford to sit it out for too long or they'd be spotted. Angel took the opportunity gladly. What with all the flying around she'd been doing lately, she was exhausted. It only seemed like five minutes before she was woken up again by the sound of shouting.

"It's gone… the elven bread!" Sam gasped.

"What? That's all we have!" Frodo looked panicked.

"He took it! He must have!"

"Erghh…" Angel grumbled and sat up, blinking sleep from her eyes.

"Smeagol? No, no, not poor Smeagol! Smeagol hates nasty elf bread!" Gollum said defensively.

"You're a lying wretch!" Sam spat. "What did you do with it?"

"He doesn't eat it… he can't have taken it…" Frodo admitted.

Gollum hobbled forward towards Sam and Angel, and swiped his hands across their chests. "What is this? Crumbs on their jacketses! They took it! They took it! I see them when Master is not looking, always stuffing their faces…"

"That's a filthy lie!" Sam lunged, grabbing Gollum and punching him in the face while Angel stood up and brushed herself off indignantly.

"I did _not_!" she pouted.

"You stinking two-faced sneak!" Sam roared. "Call me a thief…!"

"Sam! Stop it!"

"I'll kill him! I'll kill him!"

"No, Sam!" at this, Sam froze, dropping Gollum and turning to Frodo helplessly.

"Alright, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go so far, I was just so angry… here, let's rest up a bit."

"I – I'm alright," Frodo said weakly.

"No, you're not alright!" Sam insisted. "You're exhausted! It's that Gollum; It's this place; It's that thing around your neck. I could help a bit. I could carry it for a while, share the load."

Frodo's face darkened and he grabbed the Ring from under his shirt. "Get away from me!" he spat. Sam looked surprised.

"I don't want to keep it, I just want to help!"

"See! See! He wants it for himself!" Gollum retched.

"Shut up, you. Go away. Get out of here!" Sam spat.

"No, Sam… it's you," said Frodo with realization. "You and Angel. I'm sorry, Sam."

"What?" Angel threw her arms up. "Where did you even get that?"

"But… he's a liar," said Sam desperately. "He's poisoned you against us!"

"You can't help me anymore."

"You don't mean that."

"Of course I can help! I'm seven years old and I'm twice as strong as you!"

"Go home," said Frodo. He was eerily calm. To Angel's horror, Sam started to _cry_… tears spilled down his face as Frodo turned away. Together, he and Gollum started up the steps, leaving Sam and Angel there alone.

"What a poopface!" Angel cried.

**ITEX**

Tessorori flopped down in a chair, looking defeated. He knew how this meeting was going to end. The Director would flip at him and he would be lucky to escape with a severe chastising. A demotion was more likely. Maybe she would even kill him. He wouldn't put anything past Marian Janssen.

"Ter Borcht!" the Director barked. "Get me some coffee!"

Ter Borcht, looking angry at the fact that he was being treated like some sort of slave, scowled and got the Director a paper cupful of coffee from the coffee dispenser in the corner. The Director took one sip of it and slammed it down on the table, sloshing its contents up over the edge.

"Tell me," she said calmly. "Three things. Why has Epsilon failed to kill Maximum Ride and her Flock? Why have we not forced him to perform better? And, most importantly, _why does this coffee taste like rhinoceros feces?"_

The whitecoats all exchanged nervous looks. "_Well?_"

"I'll get right on the coffee problem!" one whitecoat volunteered. She jumped up from her seat and ran over to the coffee machine. Then she started to tinker with it, making her best effort to not be noticed and become a target of the Director's wrath.

Ter Borcht looked at Tessorori sourly. Then, in his thick German accent, he said, "Epsilon is under Tessorori's jurisdiction. Ask him."

At that moment Tessorori wanted to strangle Ter Borcht. He knew full well that this project was not one man's responsibility. Everyone who had been called into this meeting – six people! – were leaders in the Numerals project. They were just picking on him because he wasn't technically a whitecoat.

Still, he cleared his throat and addressed the Director. "Everything is going according to plan, ma'am. Admittedly we're a bit behind schedule, but Epsilon likes to take his time. Let him gather a little information before you pass judgment. Once he has a good handle on his subjects' abilities, he will strike, and he will terminate them."

"_Will _he now_?" _said the Director. "You've got a lot of faith in this Epsilon kid, Tessorori."

"He'll kill them. He'll kill them all," Tessorori repeated firmly. "_Especially _Maximum Ride."

**Max POV**

"So let me get this straight," we were standing in front of the mountain. The Fellowship, I mean. It was dark, but Aragorn's shiny new sword glinted in the moonlight. "We're going to go inside the spooky haunted cave thing to enlist an army of ghost soldiers. And we expect to make it out alive."

"When you say it like that…" Aragorn grumbled.

"I'm just trying to shed a realistic light on the situation," I shrugged. "I mean, _sure _there's a chance this extremely psychotic plan will work. I mean, there's always a chance. You can do anything if you try and all that."

"That's not true!" Nudge objected. "You can't staple jello to a tree! And you can't fly and go number two at the same time! Oh, and most importantly, you _definitely _can't wear stripes and polka dots in one outfit."

How did I manage to raise someone like her?

No, wait, don't answer that.

"Come on," Aragorn stepped through the door like crack in the mountain. There was a path, but you could barely see it through the thick fog. My feet stumbled on the occasional rock set in my path for the sole purpose of snapping my ankle. No, seriously. I've never been clumsy and no one _else _was tripping. The only explanation is that the universe has it out for me.

"What kind of army would linger in such a place?" Gimli grumbled.

"One that is cursed," Legolas explained. "Long ago, the men of the mountain swore an oath to the last king of Gondor – to come to his aid, to fight, but when the time came, when Gondor's need was dire, they fled, vanished into the darkness of the mountain. And so Isildur cursed them – never to rest until they had fulfilled their pledge."

"So if they got cold feet before, how do we know they won't just back out again?" Iggy asked. Legolas just fixed him with a knowing look. Too bad he couldn't _see _it.

We kept on walking in silence – yes, even Nudge! – until we reached a door. It looked like it was melted into the rock of the mountain. It was open, but the air was so close it could have been closed.

"It's frickin' freezing," Gazzy complained.

Legolas placed his fingers on the door and squinted at the squiggly lines lining it. "The way is shut," he translated. "It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut."

"I do not fear death," said Aragorn. He stepped through the door. I glanced at Fang, shrugged, and followed him. One by one, the rest entered, as well. Gimli was last.

"Well, this is a thing unheard of!" I heard him mumble. "An elf and five birds will go underground when a dwarf will not! I'd never hear the end of it!"

Then we walked.

And we walked.

And we walked.

It was too narrow to fly.

So we walked.

"Maa-aax!" Gazzy said for the umpteenth time. "I'm boo-oored!"

"Do you want some cheese with that whine?" I said. He scowled at me.

"Perhaps you should go back," Gimli suggested. "This is no place for children."

For some reason, that totally set Nudge off. "Hey! Maybe we're kids, but, I mean, ugh! When was the last time you slept in a dog crate? When was the last time you didn't get a chance to _be _a kid because you were too busy fighting for your life? When was the last time you were starving because someone forgot to feed you? When was the last time you saved – or, well, _helped_ – save the world? Yeah, that's what I thought!"

"Technically, we're helping save the world right now," Fang pointed out.

"Don't mess up my roll, Fang!"

"Hey, um, guys," said Iggy. "Speaking of dog crates… where's Total?"

"Good point. Where _is _Total?" I nodded.

"He did not wish to come with us," said Legolas. "Apparently he had to 'draw the line at summoning dead guys'."

"Sooooo, he's, like, still with the army?" Nudge said.

"Yes."

"Aw," Nudge pouted.

"Thank the lord," I said. "I don't think I could stand _him _here. This would be, like, a whine fest."

We were interrupted in our banter by said dead guy strolling up to us.

Well, I say strolling, but I really mean flying into our faces ominously. He was all rotting and translucent and he glowed green.

"Who enters my domain?" he snarled.

"One who will have your allegiance," said Aragorn calmly.

"The dead do not suffer the living to pass - "

"You will suffer me," Aragorn growled. The king of the dead just laughed, a huge, loud, echoing laugh that seemed to splinter my eardrums.

"The way is shut!" he cackled. "It was made by those who are dead, and the Dead keep it!"

There were now more dead guys, pressing in from all directions, jeering and flaunting their weapons.

"The way is shut. Now, you must die."

Legolas shot an arrow at the king of the dead, but it zoomed through him, of course.

"Do you even know what ghost _means_?" I said, replying to his confused expression.

"I summon you to fulfill your oath!" Aragorn roared.

"None but the King of Gondor may command me!" the dead king screeched. He raised his sword above his head and swiped down at Aragorn, who whipped out his own sword and, with a resounding _clang, _blocked the slice. "It cannot be – that line was broken!"

Aragorn grabbed the ghost by the neck – wait, what? That is _not _logical – and shoved the tip of his sword up in its face. "It has been remade."

He let go of the ghost king and faced the entire army. "Fight for us and regain your honor!" he bellowed. "What say you?"

Silence.

"What say you!"

"Agh, you're wasting your time, Aragorn," Gimli said. "They had no honor in life, they have none in death!"

"I am Isildur's heir!" Aragorn shouted desperately. "Fight for me and I will hold your oath fulfilled. What say you?"

The ghosts started to dissipate. "Stand, you traitors!" Gimli barked, but they didn't 'stand'. They disappeared.


	25. This Army

**Hehe… sorry x.x For two reasons. First that it took me this long to update (soccer tryouts all week…) and second, well…**

**You'll see :K But I'm evil.**

**Max POV**

"Well, _that _was a bust," said Iggy.

"I'm gonna kill those ghost things!" Nudge said. "Do they have any idea how nerve wrecking it is for a _bird kid _to run around underground?"

"What a waste," Gimli grumbled. Suddenly, Gazzy gave a sharp yell and doubled over, clutching his head and stomping angrily.

"Gazzy!" I cried. "What's wrong?"

"I lost the game!" he moaned. **(A/N: Go ahead and kill me :3 )** Nudge let out an angry shriek, Fang crushed a dirt clod in his hand, and Iggy swore loudly.

"I lost the game," we chorused halfheartedly.

"Pardon?" said Legolas.

"Ah!" Aragorn yelled.

"What, you know about the game?" I said in disbelief. "No way!"

"No, _ah!_" Aragorn pointed at the walls, which I noted with disgust were constructed by hundreds of skulls. Skulls that were cracking and coming loose…

"Out!" I ordered. "Double time!"

We started to run towards the exit, but the skulls were raining down on us like hundreds of little missiles. We had to climb over a mound to reach the exit. Well, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn had to climb over a mound. The Flock just flew, dodging skulls as they tried to knock us out of the air. Thankfully, we made it – barely, though.

We emerged into the sunlight, gasping for breath and exclaiming about how freaking messed up that was, but stopped when Aragorn crumpled to his knees in despair. Sprawled out below us was a town, wrecked and burning. There were tears in Aragorn's eyes as he looked at it.

"Don't worry, Arry," I said. "We'll win this thing."

"Ah!" Nudge jumped about ten feet in the air when the translucent green figure of the ghost king passed through her. She clutched her chest, panting and glaring at him like he'd just given her a heart attack.

"We fight," the ghost king rumbled.

**Third Person POV, Total**

Total was a dog of many words.

Maybe for a human he wasn't the most talkative person on the planet (that position was held by Nudge) but most dogs didn't really talk much at all, even in this messed up skewed reality. He spoke dog, of course, but it wasn't the same. Dog language wasn't as clear. It had taken him a while to even figure out Akila was a girl (a stupid mistake in hindsight. Akila was the most beautiful dog he'd ever seen in his entire life). That didn't happen with humans. They had squeaky voices or deep voices depending on their gender. Well, not always, but even _Iggy _had thought Justin Bieber was a girl at first, and he was supposed to be really smart about those things.

Right then, though, Total was feeling very vocal.

"Do I have to go to war, too?"

"No."

"But… what if I want to?"

"You're a hound."

"A hound? WTF? I'm a dog."

"I'm sorry."

"No, seriously, I really want to go!"

"I apologize, but what is a small dog supposed to do in a battle?"

"You'd be surprised. Want me to bite your ankles right now? Cos' I'd do it, you know. To prove my point."

"I'm sure you're very good at biting ankles."

"So why can't I go to battle?"

"Because the orcs have swords."

"Don't be speciesist! Just because I don't have opposable thumbs - !"

"I'm sorry, Total, but what would happen if you fell? Your family would be devastated."

"Oh, yeah, sure, whatever," Total grumbled. Then he made his best imitation of a rude gesture and stalked off. Theoden sighed and turned back to his soldiers. He was beginning to understand why Max was occasionally less than enthusiastic about the beast.

Total suddenly choked. Someone was yanking him up by his doggy jacket. His legs thrashed wildly for a minute.

"Ack!" he wheezed. "Leggo!"

"Sorry," said Merry. They were moving quickly on a very crowded horse.

"What's going on?" Total demanded.

"We're going to war," said the other person on the horse. Funny, it didn't _sound _like a man. Didn't only men do the war thing here? Then the person turned around and Total caught sight of their face.

"Oh, hi, Eowyn,"said Total. "This is bitchin'. Alright! Let's bite some ankles!"

**Third Person POV, Angel**

"That jerkface!" Angel said, for the umpteenth time. She'd considered mind-controlling Frodo, but when she'd tried to get into his head something had resisted her and she decided against it. The Ring, probably.

Sam was still crying. A horrible waste of water, she thought. With his blurry vision, he wasn't quite watching where he was going, and his foot slipped.

"Gah!" he yelled. Angel lunged and grabbed onto his cloak, yanking him back upwards so he wouldn't fall off the stairs to his death. Once he was up, he had stopped crying. Instead, he looked livid.

"Down there," he growled. "The lembas bread. It's down there."

"I knew it was Gollum," Angel said. Literally, she had. She'd read his mind, and it was right there along with all his traitorous thoughts. She was still biding her time with him, though. It was kind of fun, to be completely honest.

"We have to save Mr. Frodo!" said Sam firmly.

"He kicked us out!" said Angel. "Does he deserve to be saved?"

Sam looked at her defiantly. "Do what you want, Angel, but I'm going to save Mr. Frodo. I made a _promise_, Angel, a _promise_."

"A promise?" said Angel sarcastically. "Well, I guess that leaves no room for argument, huh?"

But when he started climbing the steps again, back up the mountain, she followed.

**Max POV**

"That's a lot of boats."

"Ships," Fang corrected Gazzy. "They get pissed if you call their ships boats."

"Whatever."

"You may go no further," Aragorn said loudly. A man walked up to the front of the ship. "You may not enter Gondor."

"Who are you to deny us passage?" said the man.

"Legolas," said Aragorn quietly. "Fire a warning shot past the boson's ear."

"Mind your aim," Gimli taunted. Then, as Legolas raised his bow, the dwarf knocked it, throwing the arrow off.

"Oops!"

"Nice going, midget."

The arrow had lodged itself into the boson's chest, not harmlessly past his ear. Aragorn glared at Legolas.

"It was the dwarf," said Legolas. Then, in elvish, he muttered something about him being stupid and childish.

"That's right! We warned you! Prepare to be boarded!" Gimli said.

"Nice save," Iggy snorted.

"Boarded?" a man cackled, after they had all stopped laughing. I couldn't blame them. I mean, an elf, a dwarf, a man, and five kids versus about twenty shiploads of mercenaries? Pft, yeah, right! "By you and whose army?"

"This army," said Aragorn. I almost gathered him into a giant bear hug. Was that a _joke_? No way!

It took about five minutes for the ghost army to appear and kill them all.


	26. Diesel, Spiderwebs, and Giant Elephants

**Here ya go =D I think I'm going to start including more about Tessorori and the other whitecoats because I feel like the villains need to be better developed and stuff.**

… **also I have some stuff I really want to write about them :'D**

**ITEX**

After the Director left that meeting in a huff, there were six people left in the room (including Tessorori), all very uncomfortable. Tessorori only recognized four of them (_dis_cluding himself). There was him, Ter Borcht, Kidd, Jackson, and Werner. There was one woman that Tessorori didn't recognize, though. During the meeting, she had gotten up to fix the coffee machine, looking scared, but now that the Director was gone, she was obviously anything but.

"Vell," said Ter Borcht. "I'd like to introduce the newest member of our project, ja?"

The woman stepped forward. There was a cool smirk on her face, but she didn't look particularly mean. Just stuck up and maybe a little overconfident.

"Zis is Doctor Hansson," Ter Borcht said.

"Call me Diesel," said Diesel, smiling. "Everyone does."

"Vell, then, Diesel, these are the other leaders in ze Numerals project," said Ter Borcht. "Leonard Tessorori…"

Tessorori waved.

"Joshua Kidd."

Kidd nodded in her direction.

"Tina Jackson."

Jackson smiled brightly and winked.

"Jacob Werner."

Werner tipped an imaginary hat.

"And I am Roland Ter Borcht."

"Well, it's nice to meet all of you," Diesel said. "I'm sure we'll be great friends!"

_Not likely, _Tessorori thought. Jackson was the only one without some sort of personal vendetta against one of the other scientists. Kidd and Werner were always bashing heads about something. Tessorori and Kidd were constantly fighting over funds. Werner was convinced the Director had it out for him (he was probably right. His paycheck kept getting slashed, and he was getting dangerously low on test subjects). And _no one _got along with Ter Borcht. It was a statistical impossibility.

"This is great!" Jackson trilled. "I've always wanted a girlfriend in the Numerals! It's so _boring _with all these men. I swear, even the _grunt work _is done by guys around here."

"Well, looks like you got your wish," said Diesel. "I was surrounded by guys in my old job, too. _Not _fun. I mean, testosterone overdose, anyone?"

"Just as long as you two actually do work," Werner rolled his eyes. "No offense, Jackson, but more DNA splicing, less nail polish."

Jackson pouted, but Diesel just laughed. "Don't worry, Werner. I'm an excellent worker."

**Third Person POV, Angel**

"This is creepy," Angel whispered. Her voice still echoed ominously through the cave. They were in some tunnels. It was dark, and even Angel, with her genetically enhanced sight, could barely see a thing. There was a rancid smell in the air, and she kept brushing up against sticky things. She wasn't sure what they were.

She reached out with her mind, but she couldn't hold onto any thoughts other than Sam's, and those weren't very useful. His were basically a mirror of hers. _This is weird and dark and creepy and not normal and can we go now?_

"What's this?" Sam stopped suddenly and bent over. He gulped. "Oh, no, Angel! It's Sting, Mr. Frodo's sword! And that funny vial Lady Galadrial gave him!"

"Huh?" he handed her the vial (not the sword, though, he kept that). Angel took it and wrapped her fingers around it tightly. Nothing happened.

"So… what does it do?" she wondered aloud. Sam shrugged. She held it up to her ear and shook it experimentally. It lit up. "Cool! It's like a firefly! Except… not."

"Mr. Frodo wouldn't just leave these lying around," Sam gulped. "He must be… hurt."

Angel noticed that he didn't say 'dead'. "Come on, then!" she held the vial up, bathing the cavern in light. "Oh, god… what is _that_?"

Lining the tunnels, sometimes stretching across, were what looked like giant, wet spider webs. Sam looked scared.

"Let's… let's just find Mr. Frodo…"

They kept on walking forward.

**Third Person POV, Total**

Total could feel Merry trembling. It was getting kind of annoying.

"Don't worry," he said impatiently. "Just stay with me and you'll be fine."

Eowyn laughed. "That's what _I _was going to say!"

Theoden was shouting orders, but the orders soon melted into an inspirational speech. "Forth and fear no darkness!" he called. "Arise! Arise, riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered, a sword day, a red day ere the sun rises!"

"Ready?" Eowyn breathed. Merry nodded and Total wagged his tail excitedly.

"Ride now, ride now!" Theoden yelled. "Ride for ruin and the world's ending! Death!"

_Wow, this guy's sure optimistic, _Total thought.

"Death!" shouted the army.

"Death!" shouted Theoden.

"Death!" Eowyn joined in on that one.

"Death!"

"Death!" then Merry.

"Death!"

"Death!" Total only added his voice in on the very last one. Dogs weren't supposed to shout about death, after all.

"Forth, Eorligas!" Theoden ordered. Eowyn kicked the horse, which neighed and bounded forward, along with all the others.

"It's official," Total groaned when he saw the orcs raising their bows and getting ready to fire. "We are _so _gonna die."

**Max POV**

Battles are, like, my element.

Seriously.

I mean, most people are most comfortable sitting in their rooms, reading or something, or hanging out with friends, or even (somehow) doing school stuff, but that all seems way too… I dunno, idle? Ironically, the only time I'm not completely on edge is when I'm whooping major butt. Sort of like right now, for instance.

"Yo! Leggy!" I shouted. "I'm open!"

Legolas smashed his bow across and orc's face and it stumbled backwards right into my waiting knives.

"Oookay, look at that thing!" Nudge pointed. My jaw dropped. It was an elephant, but not just _any _elephant. It was a giant elephant, even for elephant standards, and you know, elephants are pretty big in the first place. And there wasn't just one. There were _at least _five. All of them were decked out in expensive looking armor and clothes and they were accompanied by an army of men – not orcs.

"Arry!" me and Aragorn exchanged a look. We were getting good at that – it was sort of like what Fang and I do sometimes. Pack an entire conversation into a couple glances.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli ran off in one direction and I took off. "U and A, guys!"

"Eeny meeny miney mo," I said, pointing to each of the giant elephants. "Catch a freakishly big mammal by the toe. If he hollers let him go, eeny meeny miney mo. That one!"

My final 'mo' had landed on the furthest elephant to the left. "You guys cool with that?"

Fang, Iggy, Nudge, and the Gasman all nodded, but Fang looked a little skeptical. "How are we going to take down something that big?" he asked.

"Um."

"Tell us, o great leader!" Iggy held his hands up dramatically. "What is our infallible plan?"

"Err…"

_To escape a shark attack, one should aim to disable its eyes, _said the Voice helpfully.

"Okay! I got it!" I said. "Iggy, Fang, and Gasser, you guys take out all the soldiers in those saddle things on the elephant's backs. I'll go for the eyes. Nudge, you cover me from afar. Kapeesh?"

"Whoa, you actually had a plan?" said Iggy with disbelief.

"Ig, how many times do I have to tell you?" I grinned. "There's _always _a plan. Now move it!"

The boys zipped off towards the saddle thingamajig, drawing their swords. Nudge took out her crossbow and hovered above me as I dive-bombed the elephant's face. There were people there, unfortunately, but they were no match for me. I just ran them over, kicked them off the side. If one got away, Nudge would just shoot him and he would go careening towards the ground.

Okay, so let me just tell you that stabbing a giant elephant in the eye is _not _what we call a fun thing to do. First, I felt kind of bad. I mean, it was just doing what its masters told it too, right? Which was killing us, I reminded myself. Also, there's no way we could take control of one of these monsters. Too big. So I slashed the left eye. I'm not exactly squeamish, but I wasn't really looking forward to seeing if elephant eyeballs bleed, so I quickly moved onto the next eye. It's like rinse, lather, repeat, only more like kill, slice, repeat. So.

And guess what? It worked! The blinded and in pain elephant stumbled and crashed onto the ground, flattening everything it landed on top of. _Whoops, I hope that didn't kill anyone I know._

"Oh yeah!" I punched the air. "Fantastico, guys! Fantastico!"

The Flock regrouped. "That was ridiculously easy," Gazzy observed.

"Yep," I said. "Now, what do you say we go kill another one?"

**Third Person POV, Total**

"Ow!"

"Sorry!" Total tried to say, but it was hard. His mouth was full of Merry's arm. Honestly, if they went any faster he would fly off. He wriggled in a little closer between the woman and the hobbit, wedging himself behind Merry's back and inside Eowyn's knees. It was an awkward position, but he was a dog, first of all, and second of all, they were in a fight for their lives.

Eowyn was the one doing most of the work, hacking off orc-heads and generally beating the crap out of things. Turns out you can't do much ankle-biting while you're riding high speed on a horse. Still, Total got a kick out of yelling at orcs. They always seemed to register where the yell came from, look at Total in disbelief, totally distracted, and then get creamed by the only chick fighter in the entire freaking army. Total liked to think of himself as a helpful diversion.

"What is _that_?" Eowyn gasped suddenly.

"Holy crap! And I thought _I _was weird!" Total said. Coming in from the south was not only another army (made up of human dudes), but with it a bunch of giant honking elephant things.

"Re-form the line!" Theoden shouted somewhere. "_Re-form the line!_"

Eowyn steered the horse up with the rest of them, forming a line again, and Total got a great view of this new army. Well, if they'd been winning before, they definitely weren't now.

"Sound the charge!" Theoden ordered. "Take them head-on! Chaaarge!"

"Which one do you think we should take?" Merry gulped.

"That one looks kind of runt-ish," Total said, pointing a paw at the one in the middle. "I mean, for a giant elephant."

"Eomer is already on that one," Eowyn said. As they watched, her brother threw a spear at a man steering the middle elephant. It caught the man in the chest and he fell, yanking the elephant to the left where it charged into one of its own buddies. They both went down.

"Well!" said Total. "How 'bout that one?"

"I think I see Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, and Gazzy there," said Merry doubtfully.

"Dangit!" Total growled. "Oh, that one!"

"Looks good to me," Eowyn nodded. "Ready?"

"Ready."

"Ready."

"Hang on tight."

They charged towards the giant elephant, weaving between its legs. "Take the reins, pull us left," Eowyn ordered. Merry grabbed the reins, fumbling with them for a second as Eowyn leaned down and snatched a sword away from a fallen orc. "_Left!_"

Eowyn held both her sword and the orc's and each hand and thrust her army outwards, slashing the insides of the giant elephant's legs. The elephant roared (trumpeted?) and fell backwards onto its butt, but it wasn't done yet.

"Bring it down, bring it down!" someone hollered.

"Ah! Move, horsey horsey, move!" Total yelped. The elephant was crashing down towards the ground. "We're gonna get flattened!"

"Gah!" Eowyn screamed as their horse fell over, catapulting the three off in different directions. Total face planted into the dirt and dragged himself to his paws, sneezing dust out of his nose. He looked around wildly and spotted Eowyn fighting some orcs to his right.

"Oi! Ugly!" he bounded over dead bodies towards Eowyn at started biting her attacker's ankles. Together (well, Eowyn did most of the work, but hey! He's a _dog_!) they whooped both orc and human butt.

"Whoa!" Total grinned when Eowyn punched a particularly ugly looking orc in the face. "I think that was the leader dude! You are one kickass chick!"

"And you're one kickass dog," Eowyn returned with a breathless smile. "Now, where's Merry?"


	27. Rice

**Sorry I didn't get this up earlier! I've been kind of busy lately. I'll try to be better, though, pinkie promise :)**

**Max POV**

"Okay, now what?" Gazzy asked. The giant elephants were all dead and we were hovering above the battlefield, avoiding the occasional arrow that seemed determined to shoot us down. Good luck with that, suckers!

"Let's kick some grounded butt," I decided. "Keep in sight of each other, 'kay? And don't die. That would be bad."

"Aye aye, cap'n!" Iggy saluted, then folded in his wings and dropped like a stone. It wasn't until he was just a few meters above the fighting heads that he snapped his wings out again and coasted to the ground, unsheathing his sword. I nodded at the other guys and we all landed as well.

The moment my feet hit the ground I was swept up into the battle. Swords, knives, and arrows flew at me from all directions, but I was mostly able to defend myself without dying. Still, it was pretty hard. There was barely room to move and breathe, let alone land a decent attack, so after a little bit I decided I was going to have to take the advantage of the higher ground again.

I pushed off my legs as hard as I could and landed on an orc's shoulders. Then I pushed off from those, too, knocking the orc to the ground and propelling myself into the air.

Nudge was already up there, favoring a high vantage point from which she could take things out. As I watched, Fang burst out of the throng as well. Iggy and Gazzy were struggling to do the same.

I swooped down and used my knives like talons, slicing and dicing whatever I could get my hands on. These losers didn't stand a chance.

I was just killing something particularly ugly when something whizzed past my ear. At first I ignored it, calling it an arrow, but unfortunately it wasn't _just _an arrow. It whizzed back around and a rope fell across my shoulders. The weight of something on the tip made it swoop around again, twisting me up awkwardly. Someone yanked then, and hard, and I was jolted towards the earth.

I face planted into the bloody mud and spat it out, grimacing. The coppery dirt taste didn't like the idea of leaving.

When I tried to get up, someone stepped on my back.

_Move,_ the Voice ordered. I threw all my weight to the right and rolled over just as a sword sliced into the ground right where my face had been. I tried to stand again, but the rope was pulled and I was snapped backwards. My spine recoiled and my arm protested painfully. Also, my neck had major rope burn. If he yanked me the right way with the right amount of force I could have been freaking decapitated.

"Yo!" I snapped. "Not cool, dude. _Not cool!_"

It was, unsurprisingly, one of the humans. I don't think an orc would have even _close _to the amount of intelligence required to ground a bird kid. He looked Middle Eastern, not like the purely pasty white guys that seemed to inhabit this entire world. I'd noticed that Nudge was, like, some sort of abnormality here (race wise, not mutant freak wise), and it was totally lame.

_'A girl? How odd,' _he said. I'd had enough experience with the elvish to know that this guy was not speaking English. It looked like my bilingual-ness was actually multilingual-ness. For some reason it didn't seem like an overly important gift at that very moment_, _though.

_'Bite me!' _I snarled, reaching down and curling my fingers around the hilt of one of my knives. The man didn't let me do that, though. My movement was impaired by the fact I was bound by ropes, and he knocked knife number one out of my hands. I went for the second one, but that was a bust, too.

The man started to attack me. I rolled and jumped and dodged and did everything in my ability not to get killed, but it was hard. Finally, I managed to remove the ropes, but I was still unarmed. I didn't think I would have much luck punching through all that armor.

"My lady!" an obnoxiously familiar shout rang out over the battle sounds, and suddenly there was a sword sticking out of my attacker's chest. He slumped over, dead.

"Thanks, man," I said to Nirin. He literally started to tear up and bowed so low his nose practically brushed the ground.

"Anything for you, my lady Max!" he babbled. I rolled my eyes and collected my knives. Then, a horrifying thought struck me.

"Nirin!" I said. "Help me find my Flock, will you? Please?"

"Yes, yes!" Nirin nodded, looking relieved that I was actually voluntarily enlisting his assistance for once. I nodded at him and then took off, searching around frantically for the Flock. If I'd been pulled down like that, had they been, too?

Nudge, I saw, was still shooting things from an altitude too high for anything to reach her. Iggy and Gazzy looked fine… _more _than fine, actually. They looked like they were plotting to assassinate someone or something. But Fang… Fang… I couldn't see him. I couldn't see him _anywhere_. _Screw_ him and his stupid annoying tendency to blend into everything.

And then I saw him, the only person on the battlefield with black jeans, a black sweatshirt, black hair, sneakers, and a sword sticking right through his stomach.

For a moment, my mouth hung open in a silent scream, but then my voice box started working. "_Fang!_"

I dive bombed straight for him and in the heat of the horrible moment I think I may have actually decapitated the man who had done… it. This. Whatever. I don't care, I didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that Fang was slowly sinking to his knees…

"Fang!" I cried. "Fang, look at me! Make eye contact!"

I think he was trying, but his eyes kept sliding past my face. Carefully avoiding bumping the sword, I curled my arms underneath his armpits and tried to hold him up. Desperate thoughts were flying a million miles an hour through my head. _No… this can't be happening!_

"Max…" it was a hoarse whisper. He coughed abruptly and, to my horror, sprayed my face with warm blood.

"Cr – crap! Fang! Look, don't talk, okay? Just… hold still and… hang on. Please? Hang on?"

_Voice! _I thought desperately. _What do I do? I don't know what to do!_

_ Whatever you do, don't remove the sword, _the Voice instructed. _That will only result in more loss of blood. Lay him down on his side. Don't let him fall unconscious. Try to stop the bleeding as well as you can. Get help. Favor the idea that the blade hasn't pierced his spinal cord – it's definitely hit his stomach if he's coughing up blood. Oh, and stop hyperventilating. It's not helping anyone._

Right. The Voice was right. I needed to calm down. Chillax. Get in my zone. Fang slumped over and his chin rested on my shoulder. I gulped and crouched down, laying him down on his side as gently as possible. I was vaguely aware of the thought that no one was trying to kill us, so someone was probably defending us. Nirin? Probably he had grabbed the rest of the Flock.

I cut a slit in the front of Fang's sweatshirt and took it off. How had the sword gotten through the chain mail? Wasn't it supposed to help with this sort of thing? I wanted to take the chain mail off, too, but that wouldn't be possible just then, so I cut the sweatshirt in half and pressed it to the area around the puncture wound. Fang winced, and the sweatshirt immediately started to soak up blood.

I stuck my hand up the back of his chain mail, too. Only the tip of the sword was through the back, luckily. I felt around a bit and decided it hadn't gone through his spine. That was a good thing, right? Yeah, the Voice had said that was a good thing.

So there I was, straddled awkwardly over my boyfriend, trying to keep blood inside of his body. My arms, protesting the position they were in, started to ache, but I ignored it.

And I started to cry.

**Third Person POV, Angel**

Angel gulped.

"Oh. My. God." she said.

"What _is _that thing?" Sam asked.

"I dunno," she said. "But it's the biggest spider I've ever seen in my entire life."

Suddenly, Sam moaned. "That's Mr. Frodo it's got! Oh no, Angel, what do we do?"

He was right, it had to be. Although the figure, completely covered in spider webs, had a face hidden from view, there probably weren't many other Hobbits running around by Mordor, and this guy was definitely a Hobbit. You could tell by how short he was.

She shrugged. "Kill it?"

He mulled that over for a second and then decided it was a legit idea as any. "On three?" he whispered. "One, two… three!"

They jumped out, Sam brandishing Sting and Angel madly shaking the weird vial of liquid, illuminating the cave in its bright light.

"Oi! You get away from him!" Sam shouted angrily. He lunged for the spider, but the spider lunged back, stabbing at the Hobbit with its pincers. Angel jumped in front of Sam, squeezing her eyes shut and shoving the vial in front of her face. To her surprise, the spider shrank back and screamed. She grinned triumphantly and tried to get a handle on the spider's mind, but it was too complicated and not in English, so unfortunately they were going to have to get rid of it the old-fashioned way.

"Uh… its belly looks kinda soft?" Angel guessed. Sam immediately understood what she was getting at and jumped underneath the spider, stabbing upwards blindly. Finally, he got in a hit and the spider shrieked even more loudly.

"Leave, now!" Sam warned. "We don't want to have to hurt you anymore!"

To emphasize his point, Angel stuck the vial above her head and shook it casually. It got even brighter, and the spider freaked out even more.

"Yeah!" she said. "Go away!"

The spider looked them over for a second and then seemed to sigh like, _well, I guess they're not worth it _and then melted into the shadows.

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam cried. He dropped down next the motionless white blob that was the Ring Bearer. He ripped open the webs on his face and, sure enough, it was Frodo. Hopelessly, Sam slumped backwards and started to cry. "Not sleeping… dead…"

Awkwardly, Angel patted him on the shoulder, but tears were welling up in her eyes, too. She wiped them away angrily. He was a fictional character! Even if she _had _spent the past few months with him, it didn't make any difference. He was completely fake.

Her sharp ears picked up footsteps somewhere down a cave corridor, and she nudged the grieving Sam urgently.

"Someone's coming," she hissed. "Orcs, probably, from the smell."

_And the thoughts._ The thoughts were vulgar.

Sam scrubbed his face but didn't stop crying. The two of them started moving towards a hiding place, but Sam, as an afterthought, ripped open some more webs and yanked the Ring off of Frodo's neck.

"And so I said to him, I said, 'I could beat the pus out of you in any fight!' and then I hit him with my… eh? What's that?" said an orc as three walked in. "Looks like ol' Shelob lost her appetite. _This _one's dead."

Sam whimpered almost inaudibly beside Angel.

"Naw, he ain't dead," said another. Now Sam straightened. "Maybe a snack for later. He's just paralyzed, see?"

"Well, finders keepers losers weepers," said the third. "I say we take it back to camp."

The other two nodded their agreement. Angel wriggled around impatiently. _Just leave already…_

They hefted Frodo's limp, bound body between them and started off. Angel fixed Sam with a penetrating look and handed him the vial.

"I won't be gone," she said. "You won't notice that I was ever missing."

His eyes glazed over and he nodded. She smiled brightly and left him there, scrambling out of the caves and taking off.

She flew extra super-fast, so by the time she'd landed in front of that giant tower again, her wings were burning. When she pulled them in they snuggled comfortably next to her back. It was funny how cold it was in a place dominated by volcanoes.

"Yo, Mouth!" she called. "Hi!"

A few minutes later, the doors swung open and a very surly Mouth strode out. "Well," he said. "To what do I owe this pleasure, o angel?"

"Quick question," she quipped. "Could I meet these Nazgul dudes?"

"Not _now_," said Mouth. "They're busy right now."

"Kay. How 'bout when they're _not _busy?" she laced this comment with a little bit of mind control, just to get her point across. Mouth sighed.

"I suppose," he grumbled.

"Cool!" she smiled brightly. "So… when are they going to be back?"

"Soon, I would guess," said Mouth. "Minis Tirith isn't far. The battle is surely almost over by now. You haven't long to wait. Wait, I never said they were _gone_. I just said they were busy."

"Awesome," said Angel, ignoring him. Then, after thinking a moment, she decided she could probably weasel a little information out of Mouth. He couldn't be _completely _clueless, could he? She squinted and delved into his brain, searching, searching.

_The Fell Beasts. The Fell Beasts. They are hungry – they are hungry. Give them some of that rice, then. Rice, then. Are you insane? Are you insane? What do you mean, mean? The rice. The rice. It makes them do strange things. Very strange things._

Angel paused for a moment and thought. Rice? Really? That was it? She shrugged. Maybe the actual wraiths would know their own weaknesses better than this creep. She could wait. She could be patient.

**Third Person POV, Total**

Total was completely and utterly freaked out the door.

Eowyn was being choked by some freakish dude dressed all in black with an effed up silver mask thing. Her grip on her sword was lax, and the dog could see the wild look in her eyes that meant she was starving for oxygen. He didn't really know what to do, so he did the first thing that came to him.

"Woof woof!" He lunged, bounding over the cluttered battlefield, and sank his teeth in the thing's calf. He bit down so hard he could have sworn he heard his jaw pop a little, and his gums ached like crazy. It felt like something was burning him, but he didn't let go. He just bit down harder.

The thing shrieked at him and dropped Eowyn while kicking Total off of his leg. Total skidded across the ground like something out of a cartoon, but Eowyn was on her feet again, ready.

"_You fool,_" the thing rasped. "_No man can kill me._"

Eowyn snarled and ripped off her helmet. Her long blonde hair fluttered in the hot breeze. She furrowed her brow and growled, "I am no man!"

And then she plunged her sword right in his face.

Total would have shouted some sort of crazed victory whoop if his tongue wasn't burning, so he just started to spit out the thing's blood as it crumpled into a screaming, writhing mass of twisted metal and robes. Once he could feel his mouth again, he trotted towards Eowyn, who was kneeling over… was that _Theoden_?

"Uh oh," he grumbled. The king's eyes were glazing over, and soon they were staring sightless into the sky. Total gulped. Eowyn started to sob. He wasn't sure what to do. He'd never seen anything like this happen before – usually the screwy stuff was happening to _him_, him and the Flock. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to comfort her?

Tentatively he picked his paws up and over Theoden's dead horse's legs and nuzzled his nose against Eowyn's leg. To his surprise, she swept him up and started to cry hysterically into his fur.

"Ugh… you're soaking me…" he almost said, but he didn't. What he did say, though, was: "Uh oh. Looks like that orc commander dude isn't as dead as we thought he was."

Still crying, Eowyn pulled her face away from Total's neck and looked over her shoulder. There it was, the little freak who looked like a massively scarred up, ugly, pink Yoda-poser all decked out in battle gear. He was limping towards them.

Eowyn wasted no time and immediately stretched out over her Uncle's horse, reaching for his sword, but her finger tips merely brushed it and knocked it further away. The orc was getting closer.

"Total!" she gasped.

"On it," he jumped to the sword and lifted it up in his still sore teeth. Then he started to drag it across the equine corpse towards Eowyn.

Reach… reach… reach… There! She got it. Twisted. Slashed. The orc was dead before it hit the ground.

Total wasn't the least bit annoyed when Eowyn picked him up and resumed where she'd left off before. His coat needed a good washing, anyways, even if it was from salty tears.


	28. Trapped

**Guess what?**

**THE WHITECOATS GET SOME ACTION (not in a perverted way)!**

**Enjoy :D**

**ITEX**

Tessorori sighed and halfheartedly slapped the memo onto the counter. They'd had a meeting _yesterday, _why did they need another one? Was there really that much to talk about?

Grumbling, he stomped through the facility's hallways until he reached the booked meeting room. Ter Borcht, Diesel, and Kidd were there early. Tessorori was always exactly on time. Jackson was always a minute or two late. Werner, though, had been known to walk in an hour after a meeting started and just strut in like he owned the place.

"Hi, Tessorori," Diesel said. He returned the greeting and took his seat. At least Diesel was nice – unlike Ter Borcht and Kidd. Ter Borcht had glared at him when he entered and Kidd hadn't even looked up from some paperwork.

As predicted, Jackson flew into the room at 2:32 and Werner still wasn't there.

"Alright, then, let's get started," Ter Borcht rubbed his palms together in anticipation.

"What about Werner?" Diesel frowned.

"Oh, ja, I forgot about that. I predict… 3:00," said Ter Borcht. "Five euros. Oh, I'm sorry. Five _dollars._"

"Personally I'm thinking 3:15," Tessorori volunteered. "I'll match five bucks."

"You guys are so mean," Jackson said. "He'll get here by 2:45 today. Five."

"No, I think you're all being too nice," Kidd said. "3:30. That's when he'll get here. I'll do five, too."

"Did I miss something?" Diesel asked.

"Werner is always late," Tessorori explained. "So we take bets to see when he gets here. Closest to a predicted time wins."

"In that case… I'll go for 2:55," she decided. "I guess I'll throw in five froggies, too."

"Let's get started vith the things he doesn't care about," Ter Borcht said.

"The Director isn't coming?" Jackson queried.

"This is purely and Numerals personnel meeting," Ter Borch shook his head. "I vant a report from each one of you."

Kidd swore out loud when he realized he was first in line, and then started to tell everyone his progress so far like it was the most boring thing he'd ever done in his entire life.

"Oh, finally," said Jackson when Werner burst into the room. "No offense, Kidd, but you need to work on the fact that your voice is, like, _totally _monotonous."

"It's 2:51," said Tessorori. "Diesel wins."

"Are you guys making bets about my lateness again?" Werner pouted. "That's not very nice."

"Guess who's just gotten twenty bucks richer?" Diesel grinned. "Cough up."

Grudgingly, the other four handed her five dollars each.

"Alright, ja, ja, now, Tessorori, it's your turn," said Ter Borcht. Tessorori sighed.

"Well, the equipment is all working well. I've been getting some interesting readings - " he began, but he was cut off almost immediately.

A bright red light flashed suddenly, momentarily blinding him. Tessorori blinked, squinted, and covered his ears which were being battered by a shrill alarm. Jackson screamed. Werner fell off his chair. Kidd spat out a sip of water he'd been drinking and sprayed it all over Diesel, who wiped it off her face and glared. Ter Borcht only looked vaguely startled.

The door swung shut and another one that Tessorori hadn't realized was there, slid across it. It was metal and looked bulletproof and solid.

"So what does a deafening alarm mean?" Diesel shouted over the din.

"It means we're gonna die!" Werner shouted back.

"Shut up, Werner!" Kidd snapped. "It just means that there's been a little break out."

"Break out? Like, the experiments are breaking out?" Diesel's jaw dropped. "Isn't this bad?"

"The Guardians vill take care of it," Ter Borcht said. Tessoror frowned. He didn't have much faith in the current breed of Guardians being used. The Erasers had been too violent and the Flyboys had been too predictable, but the newest model seemed much too fragile, and some of the experiments here were highly dangerous.

"We're all gonna die," Jackson moaned.

"Ve vill not die."

"Vhatever," Werner rolled his eyes.

"Impudence!" Ter Borcht barked.

"Vhat. Ever," Werner grinned. Ter Borcht snarled.

"So… what do we do?" Diesel asked.

"Nothing," yelled Tessorori. "We stay in here until the situation is under control."

"My ears are bleeding!" Kidd groaned. "Is there any way to turn off this alarm?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!" Jackson squealed. "I can do that! I can do that!"

She leaped off her chair and lifted the lid on the fire alarm. Then, instead of pulling the handle down, she shoved it upwards. The alarm in the room stopped immediately. Tessorori sighed and rubbed his ears. The sudden silence made the air around him feel thick, like butter.

"Thank god…" Kidd muttered. The distant clang of more alarms down the hall could still be heard, but it was much, much quieter.

Nobody talked for a while. "So how long are we going to be in here?" Diesel asked, finally.

"For however long it takes until ze Guardians neutralize the problem," Ter Borcht said.

"Which could take how long, exactly?" Diesel pressed.

"Well, it could take five minutes," Werner shrugged. "But then again it could also take five hours. Or five days."

"Five days?"

"I've heard of a two week long siege. Bunch of top-class experiments wanted revenge. Only two scientists survived. They had to lock themselves in a closet for the entire two weeks, and all they had to eat was dust bunnies and belly button lint."

"Werner! Gross!" Jackson grimaced and shuddered.

"Are you saying we could be stuck in this room for over a week?" Diesel blinked.

"He's just kidding," Kidd assured her. Then he looked to Ter Borcht. "Right?"

"Richtig."

"What does that mean?" Jackson wondered.

"It means 'right' in Nazi," Werner rolled his eyes.

"Um, that was kind of racist," said Diesel.

"Halt dein schnabel, Werner! Might I remind you that you are also of Germanic heritage?" Ter Borcht snapped.

"I don't think he even knows," said Tessorori. "Hey, Werner, did you know that your name is actually like 'Verner'? You've been mispronouncing your own name all this time."

"Cork it, Tessorori," Werner growled.

"Guys, guys, guys, quit fighting," Jackson, even though she was a grown woman, somehow managed to pull off some killer puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, if we're going to be stuck in here for two weeks we need to get along," Kidd smirked. "Now, just in case we're driven to cannibalism, who do you think we should eat first?"

"Werner," said Ter Borcht immediately.

"Seconded," Tessorori nodded.

"Guys!" Werner whined. "You're so mean to me!"

"C-cannibalism?" Jackson stuttered.

"I think we should eat Jackson first," said Kidd. Jackson looked completely mortified. "Geez, I'm just kidding. Can't you take a joke?"

**Max POV**

People were talking around me.

"Aye, well, it looks like those ghosts could be of some use after all."

"More use than you, I might add."

"Oi! Be quiet, elf!"

"Is Fang gonna be okay? Please let him be okay!"

"I'm doing all I can."

"Don't distract him, Nudge."

"Max! Max! Is Fang gonna be okay?"

"Max, yo!"

"Um…" my voice cracked a little bit as I looked down into Gazzy's giant, wet, blue orbs. I wasn't crying anymore. Aragorn had swept in and saved the day – I hoped – with his magical medicinal knowledge, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from Fang's face.

He was pale – paler than usual. Sometimes his eyes opened a tiny bit, but mostly they just jumped around under his lids. He was muttering strange, incomprehensible things. I knew enough to know that he was going into shock. Blood was pooling around him. That same blood coated by hands. It didn't look good, and I felt helpless. I hate feeling helpless. It's the worst feeling ever. The idea that I can't do anything to help. It just makes me want to scream. But I didn't scream.

"Gazzy," I said, trying to make my voice all clear and commanding. "Why don't you and Nudge go try and find Total? Ig, you can go with them, if you want."

"Yeah, sure," Iggy had this knowing look in his sightless eyes. He grabbed Nudge and Gazzy and started hauling them towards the fallen giant elephants.

"Max," said Aragorn. He was pressing some thick white cloth (the sweatshirt had been all soaked up) against Fang's stomach – practically putting all his weight on it. "We need to get him somewhere else. The battlefield is no place for a healing. Go to the House of Healing and bring a stretcher."

I nodded and gulped. Took one last look at Fang. Jumped into the air. I flew as fast as physically possible towards the city. Where was the House of Healing? I scanned the streets. Below me was carnage. Buildings were burning and bodies piled on the sidewalks.

Finally I spotted a familiar face and touched down.

"Gandalf!" I said. "Where's the House of Healing?"

"Max? Why?"

"_Just tell me where it is, grandpa, or I'll rip your throat out_."

He looked at me and seemed to take the hint. "Follow me."

He spurred his horse and I flew after him. The House of Healing was nestled behind what I think was the castle. The pungent smell of blood, tears, and herbs mixed together and I nearly gagged. Wounded, dead, and dying people were crowded into every square inch of space. My eyes fell on a stack of stretchers in the corner and I pushed past nurses and doctors to grab one.

"Hey! Girl! Bring that back!" a nurse called, but I ignored her. I ignored Gandalf, too, just pushed past him and ran to the very edge of this specific level of the city and jumped off. Flap, flap, flap. I put all my strength into moving faster than I'd ever moved before. With so much speed, my ankles kind of buckled on impact with the ground.

I tossed the stretcher at Legolas. He looked kind of surprised when he caught it. He hadn't been expecting the weight. It was kind of heavy, I guess, but I mean, I'm a mutant. I am extra super awesome strong.

"Take that end," I ordered. He wrapped his slim, elfy fingers around the wooden handles on his side, and I grabbed the other. "Any day now, Arry."

Aragorn shot me a slightly annoyed look, but I wasn't paying attention. I felt like I wanted to explode. I knew I would, too, if Fang… wasn't okay.

Carefully, gently, Aragorn and Gimli eased Fang onto the stretcher, which Legolas and I then lifted up. Again, the elf miscalculated the weight factor, this time putting too much strength into it and nearly tipping Fang forward onto me.

"So light…" he muttered, once we'd gotten all evened out. I gritted my teeth and sort of jiggled around a little impatiently.

"Go." said Aragorn shortly. "Don't jostle."

Careful. I've never been more careful in my life. Keep the stretcher level. Don't jostle. Go. My eyes wouldn't pull themselves away from Fang's face the entire way up to Minis Tirith. I could feel Legolas examining me closely. I could feel my body start to get tired. I could hear nervous tittering and dying screams around me. But the only thing I was paying attention to was Fang. All I could see was his face, still steadily draining of color. I was scared. Utterly terrified. What would I do without Fang? I'd known him all my life. There would be a gap. A big, big gap. It would never fill up again, and the rest of my body would follow, too, until I was on the road for gap-dom.

_Maximum. You are worrying too much._

_ Worrying too much? _Worrying too much? _Fang just got _stabbed, _Voice! This is way beyond worrying!_

_ You've always been a bit narrow minded, haven't you? We are back to the big picture. Think. Use your brain, _said the Voice.

_And what, pray tell, is _that _supposed to mean? _I snapped. Silence, of course. The Voice is annoying like that.

"Oh dear…" it was Gandalf.

"Yes, grandpa," I growled. " 'Oh dear'. Happy now? Now move it, and let us in the dang Healing House!"

He immediately moved aside. The next, say, half hour were kind of a blur to me. We put Fang down somewhere. Someone removed the sword. There was a lot of shouting and I pressed down with almost all my strength in order to stop the bleeding. Aragorn went in some weird sort of trance thing, placing his hand on Fang's forehead.

And, who'da thunk it, it actually seemed to work. Fang sort of woke up, in any case.

"Fang!" I cried. He stared at me for a second, and then kind of cocked his head.

Then he said, "Ow."

"_Ow!_" I shrieked. "Jesus freakin' Christ! You _idiot_!"

Then I leaned forward and kissed him. Hard. And kind of long-ish, too. "Dunno why I'm _rewarding _you for being the biggest flipping idiot on the planet," I grumbled, when I finally pulled away. Fang just stared at me. Then he smiled, and my heart kind of fluttered a little.

"Ow," he said again. "You're pinching my gaping hole."

"Woops," I said, and pulled the thick cloth away from his stomach. Someone immediately pushed me away and busily began binding Fang up.

"Aragorn, you must come quickly," said Gandalf.

"But… shouldn't I finish here?" Aragorn asked.

"Your services are necessary elsewhere. Both Eowyn and Faramir have taken grievous wounds," said Gandalf grimly. Well, I didn't know who this 'Faramir' was, but Eowyn?

"Hey!" I said. "She got injured? That means she fought!"

"And killed the Witch King," Gandalf added.

"Oh! What now!" I grinned. "You just got _schooled. _That's _three _chicks that were out their woopin' butt! Starting to rethink your totally sexist ways, huh?"

"Max, now is _really _not the time - "

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But you just can't keep using impending doom as an excuse. There has to be 'a time' at some point. Suffrage is an important issue. By the way, have you seen Total?"

"He is with Eowyn," Gandalf was looking more and more irritated. Any sympathy he might have had for me before (ie because of the whole finding out about my disturbing kidhood and the fact that my boyfriend almost died) had completely melted away. Looks like things are back to normal.

"Fang," I slipped my hand into his. "I'm gonna go make sure that dumb dog's okay, then I'm going to round up the rest of the Flock and send them in here to bug you. Is that okay?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not dying anymore," he reminded me. "And besides, you're the boss."

"I'll come back," I assured him. When he just rolled his eyes more, I grabbed Aragorn. "All right, Arry. Let's get this show on the road."


	29. Ferret, not Bunny

**Happy Single's Awareness day, everybody! ;D**

**Third Person POV, Angel**

Angel kicked the ground, but all that did was give her a stubbed toe, and all _that _did was make her feel even more irritated. Exactly how long did it take for a freaking battle to get over with? She didn't understand these giant war battles. How come 5,000 versus 10,000 took hours, _days_, even the odds being ever more in the latter's favor as time wore on, when 5 versus 10 could take seconds, and anything could come of it? Heck, she'd been in fights where it was just the Flock versus hundreds of Flyboys and they'd still been victorious pretty dang quickly – and there's only a little exaggeration there, promise!

"How long until the Nazgul get back?" she asked, for the umpteenth time. Mouth, who was working on some paperwork, glared at her.

"They will get back when they get back," he gritted his teeth. She sighed and flitted over to him.

"Watcha doin'?" she asked.

"I am writing letters to our allies," he explained tersely.

"So I was right! Paperwork. Is it… _evil _paperwork?" she wiggled her eyebrows. He gave her a blank look. "Not that evil's bad! Evil's good! Well, technically, evil _is _bad, but you know what I mean."

"It is work. There is paper involved. Perhaps the work is slightly unsavory. Does that answer your questions?" Mouth looked like the sheer willpower it was taking not to throttle her was taking a major drain on his system.

"Cool," she sat down again. After about thirty seconds, boredom set in again and she leaned back against the wall and started drumming her long, dirty, un-manicured fingernails against the ground. The gently tapping sound seemed to be the last straw for Mouth.

"Isn't there _any_where else you should be right now?" he asked, looking constipated with rage. Out of curiosity, she read his mind. What was in it didn't surprise her. _Don't kill the angel, don't kill the angel, don't kill the angel, don't kill the – oh, gods, can something so resembling _Satan _actually be an _angel_? _

"Not really," she said grimly. "See, I'm a loner with no life. All I do is sit in creepy towers all day and patronize even creepier guys with serious oral hygiene problems."

The look on Mouth's face and the general feeling she got from saying that made her completely understand why Max loved making sarcastic comments like that all the time. She would have to do that more often.

A deafeningly familiar shriek ripped through the air and Mouth threw his arms up in relief.

"Oh, thank the Lord!" he gasped. "The Nazgul are back. Go bother _them_ for a change, angel!"

"Yes, sir!" Angel grinned. She jumped out the window and fluttered to the 'stables' where the dragons were kept.

**Max POV**

"You guys can see him later," I told Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Total. "Apparently he's passed out from blood loss. I'm thinking it's a good idea to let him sleep."

Nudge gasped. "Oh no! Is he going to be okay, Max?"

"Yeah," I nodded and smiled tiredly. "A couple glasses of OJ and his red blood cell count will shoot right back up to where it should be."

"Can _I _see him?" Iggy asked.

"Oh, haha, you're funny," I said. He stuck out his tongue at me.

"I hope warrior chick's okay," Total was talking about Eowyn. "I mean, it was _crazy_. You shoulda been there."

"I bet it was," I said absently. "Okay, guys, what do you say we help out a little around here? We can't just be dead weight. That's lame."

"You could scout around the city and ensure we are no longer in danger," I almost jumped at Aragorn's voice behind me, and turned around. He looked tired and he was grimy and sweaty.

"Sure thing," I said. "Done being the big bad healer, then?"

"For the time being my services are no longer required," he sighed.

"Except for the king one," said Gazzy.

"Except for the king one," he nodded.

"So, um, yeah, sure we'll go do some scouting," I nodded. "Make sure all those big uglies are outta here. You can count on us, and all that. Oh, and thanks, by the way."

He nodded. "It was nothing."

"Yeah, right. Okay, guys, U and A," I said. We jumped out of the window.

It was a nice, clear day that would have been absolutely perfect if it weren't for the dead body smell that hung in the air. It made bile rise up my throat, and I had to swallow to keep from barfing all over everything. Death has a very distinct, very sickening smell. It's the kind of smell that, even if you've never smelled it, you'd know immediately: something died here. And it wasn't just _something_ – hundreds, _thousands, _even, dead people and orcs. It was like some kind of waking nightmare.

"Okay," I said. "Let's split up. Iggy, take Total and go north. Nudge, go east. Gazzy, south. I'll head west. Go for a couple miles. If you see anything that's not running for its life, either kill it or report back. Don't do anything stupid. Comprende?"

"Yup," Nudge said, and the others nodded.

"Cool. Now scat!"

I veered due west and kept my eyes peeled for anything of the not good. Apart from a nice squad of orcs running for its life, I didn't see much. Still, I had a funny feeling in my gut, like something big was about to happen. Something big and bad. And I had an idea what it would be. We hadn't seen Epsilon in a while, and he _had _promised to kill me…

_Hey, Voice, any input? Positive or otherwise? _I asked.

_I believe you're right about Epsilon. He will be a problem, _the Voice actually _replied _to me! Shocker. No, really.

_Wait, so where did all that stuff about me and Epsilon becoming BFFls go? _I frowned.

_Epsilon still could, I think, prove to be a valuable ally in the future, _said the Voice. _But that future may not be, say, tomorrow._

_ Gee, thanks, that's real helpful, _I gritted my teeth. _Fine, if you're just going to keep on like that, I guess I'll just head back to the rendezvous point. Have fun in my brain._

I turned in the air and headed back towards where we'd started, at a relatively normal speed so hopefully I wouldn't get there too long before everyone else and have to wait forever. Success. I arrived at the same time as Iggy and Total. Gazzy and Nudge were already back.

"Anything of interest?" I queried.

"Nah," said Total.

"All clear," reported Gazzy.

"_Well_, funny you should ask," Nudge began. "I saw this bunny, right? And I was like, hey, cute bunny! So I went down to check it out and – get this – _it wasn't a bunny! _It was a _ferret_! And so I'm like, woah! A ferret! Ferrets are so cute! So I was thinking maybe I should take it back and it could be our pet, like Total, you know, except ferrets don't talk. So then I tried to pick it up and it _bit _me! And I was like, yeah, no ferrets for this Flock. And _then _I saw a _puppy - _"

"Interesting story, Nudge," I cut her off. "Let's get back. I'm sure everybody's dying to know that nothing interesting is going on at the moment."

They all nodded, and we flew back to the city. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli were walking towards the big double doors that led to the throne room, oblivious, and I pressed a finger to my lips. The Flock swooped downwards noiselessly, coasting and holding our breath, and dropped right in front of them.

"Boo," said Iggy unenthusiastically, just as Total barked furiously, Gazzy gave an _over_enthusiastic 'boo' and Nudge screeched what was supposed to be a scary "WAAGH!" Legolas burst out laughing while Aragorn reached for his sword and Gimli gave a very un-manly (not to mention un-dwarfly) scream and jumped about five feet in the air.

"That wasn't funny," said Aragorn sourly as he released the hilt of his sword. I knew he was gearing up to spout off some lecture about how serious the situation was and how we shouldn't be acting so childish (hey, what do you expect? We're _children, _hence _childishness_) and anything else to cover up the fact that we'd scared to piss out of him.

"Oh, don't be such a buzz kill," I smirked.

"A what kill?" Gimli asked.

"Buzz kill. Kill joy. Don't rain on our parade? Oh, never mind."

When we entered the throne room, Gandalf and Eomer were already there.

"Frodo has passed beyond my sight," said the wizard. "The darkness is deepening."

"Wait," said Nudge. "You could _see _him?"

"I am a wizard, Nudge," said Gandalf, like that explained everything.

"If Sauron had the Ring, we would know," Aragorn reasoned.

"Yeah," Gazzy nodded. "There would be a lot more in the burning and dying category going on."

"It's only a matter of time," Gandalf shook his head. "He may have suffered a defeat, but behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping."

Gimli flopped down in one of the thrones and ran his finger along his axe. "Let him stay there," he snorted. "Let him rot! Why should we care?"

"Dude," I said, practically spitting venom. "You spent, like, a month with them. Maybe more. You don't just say _bwuaha, let them die. _And besides, no way are we leaving Angel to 'rot'."

"Well, if she's anything like you, she should be perfectly fine, shouldn't she?" Gimli's voice held the kind of mocking tone that made me want to punch his lights out.

"We should _care_," Gandalf intoned. "Because ten thousand orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. I… I have sent him to his death."

"No," Aragorn interjected. "There is still hope for Frodo and the others. They need safe passage through the Plains of Gorgoroth. We can give them that."

"Um, key phrase there, _ten thousand orcs_," Gazzy pointed out.

"We draw out Sauron's armies – empty his lands," Aragorn explained. "Then we gather our full strength and march on to the Black Gate."

"We cannot achieve victory from arms," Eomer said.

"Not for ourselves, no," said Aragorn. "But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves."

"There's a lot of 'ifs' there," Nudge worried. "_If _they're there. _If _Mr. Giant Eyeball is a gullible idiot. _If _he has no peripheral vision."

"I think it's a great idea!" I said enthusiastically. I remember that part from the movie. They survive. That's cool, right?

"A diversion…" Legolas said thoughtfully. He glanced at me, and then at Aragorn. "It could work."

"Sauron will suspect a trap," Gandalf objected. "He will not take the bait."

"Hey, look, someone wrote gullible on the ceiling!" Iggy pointed upwards. We all looked. "I'm _blind_, idiots. If you supposed geniuses'll fall for _that _one, this Sauron dude's dead meat."

"Oh, ha ha," I glared at him.

"Small chance of success. Certainty of death," Gimli shrugged. "What are we waiting for?"

"Another joke!" Total grinned. "Guys, I think we're actually changing these stuffy weirdoes for the good!"

**ITEX**

"I don't think I'm gonna make it," Werner was slumped over the table, looking distraught.

"It's been ten minutes," Kidd pointed out.

"Too long," Werner insisted.

"I'm with Werner," said Tessorori. "Ten minutes and zero noticeable change in our status. This doesn't look good."

"Don't be dumm," Ter Borcht said. "You are both just on edge because of zeh cannibalism idea."

"And the story about being locked in a closet for two weeks with nothing to eat but dust bunnies and belly button lint," Diesel added. "That's also a factor."

"Guys, guys, I'm getting _really _freaked out," Jackson was squirming around in her seat nervously. "I've been counting every single second and actually you're wrong about the ten minutes thing. We've been in her for thirteen minutes and twenty four seconds. That's too long guys. Too long."

"You were counting seconds?" Werner said, bewildered.

"Nervous habit?" she offered meekly.

"You're all just overreacting," Kidd shook his head. "The Guardians will take care of this situation and we will all go home to our loving families and friends - "

"Friends?" Tessorori snorted. "Family? Yeah, right, Kidd. You _live _at the office. You have no friends."

"Look who's talking," Kidd retorted.

"Hey, is anyone else _starving_?" Werner asked.

"Lunch was two hours ago," Diesel said.

"I know, but I only had one and a half subs today…"

"One and a half? Good god, Werner, where does all the food _go_?" Tessorori said.

"What can I say? Hollow leg, I guess," Werner shrugged. "But seriously, is there any food in here?"

"I'll look around a bit," Jackson looked relieved to have something to do and immediately jumped up and started sifting through everything in the room.

"I'm still kind of worried," said Diesel. "Isn't there some sort of procedure to follow if something like this happens?"

"Ja," Ter Borcht nodded. "Vhat we do is ewacuate. Unfortunately, the doors all seal themselves shut, some more quickly than others."

"Wait, let me get this straight," Diesel stared at him. "Standard procedure in the incident that the experiments should have a mass breakout is to evacuate… _but the doors all shut on their own?_"

"And they lock themselves, too," Kidd sighed. "You can key in a code to open them up again, but only from the outside."

"It's not a very efficient system," Tessorori admitted.

Suddenly, there was the little hiss-whoosh of compressed air shooting out of a container and a little squeal of fright. Tessorori turned around in time to see Jackson drop a colorful canister onto the ground, where its impact was muffled by the bland, grey carpet and it rolled into a corner.

"Vhat vas that, Jackson?" Ter Borcht demanded.

"Uh…" Jackson squeaked. "I – I think I may have just killed us all."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Well… that bottle I just dropped and let its contents leak into the air…" she gulped. "It was poisonous gas."

There was a moment of stunned silence while everyone took that in. _Poisonous gas_… that could mean any number of things. Tessorori swore. It could just be a bottle containing as much gas as normally would fit, which wouldn't be dangerous in a room that size, but _compressed_? That could mean some genius found a way to pack three hundred times the natural amount in there. That was poison. They could all be dead in a manner of minutes.

"We're going to die," said Werner simply.


	30. Freedom at Last?

**GAH I'M SO SORRY YOU GUISE! I was on midwinter break and I went to Utah which I forgot to warn you about and there was no way I could work on this (writing by hand? Fah!) and I'm so sorry I am such a bad girl! You can kill me now, haha xD**

This is what it sounded like it that conference room after Jackson released the poisonous gas:

GAAAAAAAAHHHH!SAVEUS!HELP!WE'REGONNADIE!WAUUGGHHHH!IWANTMYMOMMY!WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!SOMEONEOPENTHEGODDAMNDOOR!HOLYSHITWEARESOSCREWED!JACKSONYOUIDIOT!IJUSTSTARTEDWORKINGHERENOWI'MGONNADIE?

…or, at least, something along those lines. Suffice to say it was very loud, everyone was shouting different things, and everyone was totally freaked out.

And then, Jackson's voice rang out loud and clear over the din, a last shimmer of hope, a guiding light in the darkness. "Oops! False alarm!"

Everyone froze and stared at her.

"It's just whipped cream," she smiled, looking embarrassed, and held up the bottle of whipped cream. To illustrate her discovery, she sprayed some into her mouth and said, voice muffled, "See? Perfectly safe."

There was a long, long moment of utter silence. Then Diesel said slowly, "How, exactly, do you mistake _whipped cream _for _poisonous gas_?"

"I'm dyslexic?" Jackson offered.

"Um, I don't think even the most _severely _dyslexic person would think _whipped cream _was poisonous gas," Kidd said.

"Hold on, give me that," Werner snatched the whipped cream away from Jackson, examined the bottle, then sprayed it in his mouth. "Yum. Okay, so why is there whipped cream in the conference room?"

"Because whipped cream is delicious?" Tessorori suggested.

"Because I am surrounded by incompetents," Ter Borcht said firmly.

"Why _not_?" Diesel said.

"All valid points," said Werner, and then he ate some more. "Mmm, this stuff is _good_. Do they have, like, genetically modified whipped cream that's extra-tasty?"

"Ja, but that's no secret," Ter Borcht said. "You Americanische are _so _unhealthy. That stuff is pure chemicals!"

"Whatever, sir nazi," Werner rolled his eyes.

"You filthy - !"

"Hey, um, guys?" said Kidd. "Alarm's off outside."

"Think the epic siege is over?" said Tessorori.

"And it's only been seventeen minutes and thirty two seconds!" Jackson squealed.

"Yeah, I guess it probably is!" Werner grinned. "We're free! We're free, guys!"

"Free?" said Diesel. "We're still locked in this room. Doesn't seem much like freedom to me."

"Can it, Diesel." Werner growled.

"Vell, perhaps ve should make our presence known," Ter Borcht suggested.

"Yeah," Tessorori nodded. "Werner?"

The two then proceeded to step up to the door and start whaling on it, all the while screaming things like 'LET US OUT!' or 'HEY! WE'RE STILL IN HERE!', mostly peppered with more profanities, though. After a good two minutes, the others joined in. Another two minutes later, the six whitecoats collapsed into a breathless heap.

"I don't think anyone's out there," Werner panted.

"We'll just have to figure out a way by ourselves," said Diesel.

"Okay, I have an idea," and then Kidd launched into a long and complicated explanation of a simple plan in which Tessorori did most of the work. Then he went over it again. And again. During the fourth explanation, Tessorori completely spaced out.

"…and that's how I lost my virginity." Kidd finished. Tessorori nodded numbly, and then realized what the man had just said.

"Wait. What?"

"Just making sure you were paying attention," Kidd said. Tessorori's eyebrows shot up, but he nodded slowly, looking at Kidd like he was crazy.

Werner grabbed a crowbar (yes, there was a crowbar in the conference room, along with a now-empty bottle of whipped cream, a bar of soap, a figurine of a panda, a back scratcher, and a left shoe. "Okay, seriously? Who was doing what in here?" said Diesel) and punched through the wall by the door. He'd been chosen for this job because he was by far the most buff.

Behind the wall was a box. Inside that box were the controls that opened and closed the door – or, more accurately, the wires that controlled the controls that opened and closed the door. Since they didn't have a screwdriver, Werner was left to open that box with the crowbar as well. It didn't go so well. Ten minutes later, there was still no luck.

"Halt!" Ter Borcht shouted when Werner got fed up and poised himself to smash the box open. "You could damage the vires inside!"

"Here, let me do it," said Diesel, wrenching the crowbar from Werner's hands. Then, with one swift, decisive motion, she cracked the crowbar underneath the box, which cracked and popped open.

"What?" said Werner incredulously. "I tried that like ten times! How did you do that?"

"I decided it would be hypocritical of me to perform genetic experiments and not be genetically altered myself," said Diesel. "So I grafted myself with Chuck Norris DNA."

"That is _so freaking cool_!" Werner cried, looking like a kid who's just been informed of the existence of sugar. "Really?"

"No," Diesel rolled her eyes. "I'm just better than you."

Werner pouted.

**Max POV**

"You're not coming."

Fang was silent. He didn't answer me, just looked down at his long-fingered, callused hands. Then he frowned and looked up into my face. It was his equivalent to a pleading expression, even though there was no pleading in it at all.

"We're leaving, like, now," I said. "You won't be healed enough."

"How long does it take to get there?" he asked.

I furrowed my brow. "Three days, give or take, on horseback."

"I'll be done healing by then," he told me. I knew he was right. With four days under his belt in the normal world, his wound would be around three fourths of the way healed. It would take only two weeks for him to get back to full strength. But here, our healing was even more accelerated. After just one day, the wound was already scabbed over, and even that was about to fall off.

"Okay, compromise," I said. "Once you're completely – and I mean _completely _– healed, you can come after us. You're way faster than a horse and you probably have more endurance at high speeds, you should be able to catch up to us quickly."

He nodded, and I could practically see the gears turning inside his head. He was plotting his early escape, I could tell. I raised my eyebrows at him and he blinked innocently. "Just to be safe, I'm gonna leave Iggy here with you. You know, just in case you need a slave."

Aha, got him! I could practically see his brilliant plans crumbling. "Iggy!"

Iggy shuffled into the room. Yeah, Fang had his own room in the house of healing. Most people didn't. He was one of five that did (him, Eowyn, that Faramir dude, and two other high ranked guys), because he was just that important. Apparently being part of the Fellowship gives you some kind of leverage.

"You're staying here," I informed Ig. "To babysit Mr. Grievously Wounded. I want you to frequently consult the doctors as to his condition, and when they are completely satisfied, you two can come after us. Sound like a plan?"

"What? No!" Iggy started to whine. I cut him off.

"Nope, I wasn't actually asking. That's an order," I said. "Ciao, guys! See ya' later."

I hurried away and jumped out a window, swooping down to where all the troops were assembled. I hated to leave Fang like this, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't risk losing him again. Call me overprotective, but if Fang actually died, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself. All these close shaves are already taking their toll on me.

I landed right next to Aragorn. He looked completely different than how I'd ever seen him before, all decked out in heavy, shining armor. He had actually bathed (the rest of us had, too. It's funny how different one looks without a layer of crud) and his hair and steadily growing beard were combed neatly.

"You look like crap," I observed.

"I know," he said. "It's all horribly stuffy."

The Flock had all gotten new clothes. It was hard to leave our old modern stuff behind, since it was probably our only link to the real world, but they were all completely shredded and the smell _would not _come off, so we literally burned them. We all wore boy's clothes, and they fit weirdly in places, even for Gazzy who was actually a boy. But they were clean and fresh, so it was okay. I had a braid in from when I'd gone to see Eowyn earlier and congratulate her on whooping witch king buttock and she'd insisted on doing my hair for me. Then she'd told me to make sure her idiot brother didn't get himself killed.

"Max!" Nudge called to me. "Check out what I did to my clothes!"

I stared. Who knew they had Bedazzlers in Middle Earth? Pink sequins lined the hems of her pants, the cuffs of her shirt, and the slits in the back to let the wings out. It looked like she'd been barfed on by a Michael's.

"Er… wow, Nudge, you look great!" I forced myself to smile encouragingly. Then I turned to Aragorn and hissed. "Can we, um, _leave_?"

I didn't want to stick around and let Nudge go crazy on _my _outfit. I love her to death, but Nudge and her love of fashion kind of clash with me and my complete animosity of it. Aragorn nodded and smiled knowingly.

"Men!" he called, turning his horse around and thrusting his sword in the air. "Today we ride for the greatest risk we have ever partaken, for the greatest hope we have ever seen! Onward, for Gondor and for the Mark!"

"Nice speech," Eomer commented as everyone began to ride and Gazzy, Nudge and I geared to take off. "You might want to come up with something that makes a bit more sense when the time comes, though."

Interaction with the soldiers, Aragorn, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, and Eomer came only during brief lunch/potty breaks and when we made camp for the night. Otherwise, we were just flying along at a lazy pace, chatting idly about everything from Epsilon and what he was going to do next to what we would be called if the Flock was a band.

"The Flock," said Gazzy. "Duh."

It took longer than I was expecting for the complaining to set in. I mean, Nudge and Gazzy were eleven and eight respectively. Kids that age usually can't go long without some sort of entertainment, and add to that the fact that the Flock are all ADD mutant bird freaks, I was expecting the worst. I'd placed my bets on a couple hours, but it wasn't until about ten in the morning the next day when it really set in.

_"_Maaaaaax? I'm booooored," Gazzy slurred.

"Me tooooo," whined Nudge. "We're flying so. Freaking. Sloooow!"

"I know," I said, gritting my teeth against the onslaught.

"Why can't we go _faster_?" Gazzy prodded. "I mean, the horses down there are, like, doing the army crawl!"

"I'd call that more of a fast walk."

"But we could go so. Much. _Faster_," said Nudge.

"Yep."

"Are we there yet?"

"Oh, god, don't even _start _that, Gasser!"

"Sorry! But there's got to be something more entertaining to do then fly in circles around these slowpokes," he pouted.

I sighed. "Okay, then, why don't we go down there and walk?"

"What?" Nudge looked at me, apparently astounded. "_Walk? _That's so… uncivilized."

"Actually, that's how most people get from point A to point B. Especially here, what with how they don't have cars and planes and stuff."

"You know what I mean!"

"Fine," I said. "I'm going down there. You guys can stay up here to whine and complain if you want."

They stuck out their upper lips, but I ignored them and dropped down between Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli (the dwarf and elf were sharing a horse. It was kind of a thing for them, I guess).

"Yo, 'sup?" I skipped alongside their walking – cantering, jogging, whatever – horses.

"Have you tired of flying, _Lady_ Max?" Eomer asked. I could tell he was teasing me with the 'lady' part. He'd obviously decided that I was much too manly to be a lady.

"More like tired of them," I jabbed a thumb up into the air where Gazzy and Nudge were coasting hesitantly, probably trying to decide whether or not to join me down on the ground. "Love 'em, but they can get dang annoying."

"And how do you think _we _feel?" Gimli said. "We've got _six _annoying children. You've only got the three, the other two are your age."

"Oh, shut up," I grumbled. He just kind of cackled. We were silent for a while after that. Everyone was silent. Well, not Nudge and Gazzy. They apparently decided to remain airborne and were playing a rather violent game of I Spy. Everyone else seemed too nervous to talk. There was a thick blanket of discomfort laid over the entire army. Finally, Legolas spoke. He looked down at me.

"Are you scared?" he asked.

"No," I answered, without a moment's hesitation.

"Why not?" he didn't look particularly surprised.

_Because this is a fictional world and I already know the outcome._

_ Do you? _It was the Voice.

_Yes, _I replied. _I do. I _totally_ remember this part from the movie._

_ But there are different variables now. Epsilon, to name one, _said the Voice. _Also, how do you know you will survive? You know the main characters survive, but that could change now. You being here has changed thing, perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse. Perhaps for the nothing._

_Wait, there's more than just Epsilon? _I asked, deciding to ignore everything else it said. Which of course meant I got zip zero none reply.

"Max?" Aragorn prompted.

"Did that question require a bit too much brainpower?" Eomer taunted.

"Uh, no, sorry," I said. "I was just having a conversation with Sir Voice."

"Sir who now?" said Pippin.

"The Voice," I said bluntly. Then I turned to Aragorn. "Judging from their stupid expressions, you didn't tell them about the more questionable areas of my sanity?"

"I thought it would be improper," said Aragorn. "It was not my information to give." He looked from me to Gandalf tentatively. "Well… I did tell Gandalf."

"Oh, okay then," I turned to Gimli, Legolas, Merry, Pippin and Eomer. "I have this Voice in my head. Sometimes it tells me stuff. Mostly it's just annoying."

"You have a Voice."

"In your head."

"That speaks, and gives you council."

I nodded.

"Are you feeling alright?" Merry asked.

"Dude, I'm seriously not kidding," I said. "I mean, there's no way I can prove it, but, I mean, I'm not crazy."

That was met with doubtful looks.

"Oh, screw you guys," I rolled my eyes and jumped into the air to rejoin Nudge and the Gasman.

**Third Person**

"What does 'screw you' mean?" asked Eomer. Everyone else shrugged.

**Max POV**

Up in the air again, I started to think about what the Voice had told me – that us being here changed things. What if he was right? What if during that big battle, one of the Flock was seriously hurt? I didn't really want to think of the 'k' word right then, especially after Fang's close scrape with the afterlife.

And then there was Epsilon again. What if he made a move? What if the reason he hadn't attacked me in a while was because he had a plan and he'd been biding his time? I gritted my teeth. As much as I hated to admit it, Epsilon could beat me. Heck, _Omega _could beat me. The only reason I could beat _him _was because he apparently wasn't used to getting punched in the face, and he had that whole weakness with his eyes. But Epsilon didn't have that. Generally I try not to put my Flock into any more danger than is absolutely necessary (a lot) and I was starting to think that maybe it would be better for everyone if we just punked out.

Then my personality set in and I decided that we were going to go ahead and do it. If stuff changed and any Fellowship members (+Eomer) died, I don't think I would ever forgive myself. I know, I know, totally out of character for me to care about these flipping fake characters, but… they were kind of, I don't know, growing on me?

**Third Person POV, Angel**

Angel didn't even bother questioning the Nazgul. She wasn't absolutely sure they were smart enough to talk. So she just went up to the first one she saw and scoured his brain for the info she wanted.

Firstly, she looked for any memories of the Flock. She couldn't see any other than some long-distance shots and thoughts of _what the heck? Are those kids _flying_? _Or at least, something along those lines. She was disappointed at this lack of development, but brushed it off and moved on.

The next thing she checked out was the rice idea. It wasn't hard to find. After only a tiny bit of prodding, she came up with screeching thoughts of chaos, hatred and insanity. There were things blowing up, things dying, things screaming, lots of terror and pain. As much as she could tell, one of the Nazgul had ingested some rice and practically imploded. It made it twist and writhe and kind of, like… die. But not in the permanent sense, unfortunately. Angel frowned in disbelief. _Really? _That was it? Rice? Seriously?

She shrugged. The Nazgul whose brain she was invading looked down at her and gave a strangled hiss in what seemed to be an attempt at language.

"Nice to meet you, too," she said, and then left in search of rice. It seemed Mouth had a weakness for the food, because she conveniently found a nice stash of it in the basement on the far side of the tower where the Nazgul couldn't get close. She found she could lug two sacks along with her (the sacks were pretty big), but that was extremely tiring and she couldn't keep it up for long. To solve that problem, she stashed them away behind some rocks and stretched her admittedly filthy but still sky blue and therefor eye-popping in the bland grey landscape jacket across a nearby boulder to mark her spot. Then she flew off to find Frodo and Sam.

When she did find them, Frodo was making a break for it as Sam fought off Gollum. When Sam's foot connected with Gollum's ribcage, Angel touched down.

"Angel!" Sam gasped. "Where have you be-"

"Here," she said. "With you."

Sam's eyes fogged over and he nodded dreamily. "Oh… of – of course…"

Gollum spun and spat at her. She turned to him, arms out and ready to fight. She didn't feel like mind controlling him into submission. She seriously wanted to squash the jerk like a bug. So when he lunged at her, cannoning through the air, she jumped to the side. He crashed to ground, spraying dirt and rocks everywhere. Angel was on him in a second. She jammed her foot between his shoulder blades and kicked him three times in the ribs with the other one. Once that was done, she took her foot off and grabbed him by the arm. He struggled and scratched at her skin, trying to get her to let go, but she wasn't going to. With all the strength she could muster, Angel hurled the grey-green frog thing into a rock. There was a sickening crack as he hit it head first and bounced off. Blood leaked from the top of his head. He lay in a crumpled heap, completely still.

Just to make sure, Angel stooped down and felt for a pulse. She couldn't find one. So that meant that unless Gollum things had veins in different spots, he was dead.

Breathlessly, Sam came to stand next to her.

"Well, good riddance," he said after a while. Angel nodded.


	31. Attack

**Sorry I've been updating kind of slow lately. I've been uber busy. Haha. xD**

**ITEX**

It took Tessorori all of thirty seconds to open the door without damaging a single wire. He smiled proudly. _Looks like even techies can be useful sometimes, _he thought.

"Freedom!" Werner cried as the door slid open. He fell to the floor and started kissing the ground. Diesel looked more than a little freaked out and Kidd kicked him in the stomach.

"This is, like, _totally _great, you guys!" said Jackson. "It only took us thirty two minutes and fifty seven seconds to get out of here!"

"Honestly, how do you keep track like that?" Tessorori asked. Jackson shrugged, then gave an irritated squeak and slapped her leg.

"Ugh, I lost count!"

"And _where_, pray tell, have you six been?" the Director rounded the corner, stomping down the hallway like some sort of imitation Godzilla. "I haven't seen hide nor hair of you since before the drill!"

All the ex-trapped whitecoats exchanged a horrified glance. "D - _drill?" _Werner finally managed to stutter.

"Of course, the revolt drill," seeing their blank expressions, the Director gave an exasperated sigh. "Don't tell me you didn't know about it."

Ter Borcht was unresponsive. Kidd moaned. Tessorori facepalmed. Jackson's jaw dropped. Werner screamed. And Diesel punched the wall.

"That was just a _drill_?" Kidd said. "Are you serious?"

"I'm always serious," said the Director. "Now. I've decided that Epsilon is not nearly competent enough. Fall back to Plan B."

She gave them all a death glare and then swept away dramatically.

"Gott in Himmel," Ter Borcht spat.

"Well, look at it this way," said Diesel. "No cannibalism or lint eating."

Ten minutes later, Tessorori had a new gurney all set up, the machines all set up, his records all set up. Kidd led in the new subject and Diesel put it under. Jackson rattled off some complicated mathematical equations (in case you haven't noticed, Jackson was a mathematical genius. Other than that, though, she was your stereotypical blonde airhead) that Tessorori entered into the computer. Tap, tap, tap – boom.

Epsilon was being replaced. And Tessorori had a sinking feeling he knew what that meant.

**Third Person POV, Angel**

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam roared, and started running after the ring bearer. Angel quickly followed suit.

Inside the volcano, it was sweltering. The moment she stepped inside, Angel was bombarded by a rush of scorching wind. Frodo stood on the very end of the rock jutting out of the side, over a lake of lava.

"Throw it in!" Sam practically sobbed. "Destroy it!"

Frodo looked down at the Ring thoughtfully and removed it from its chain. Then he glared up at them.

"No," he said coldly. Angel took a step forward.

"Throw it in," she said quietly.

"I said _no_," said Frodo.

"_Throw it in_," she repeated, raising her right hand at him. He wavered. Barely. Then regained his composure. "_Throw _it _in_!"

Something was messing wither her mind control, the Ring again, probably. She narrowed her eyes and tried to push it away, but it was too strong. That left her with only one option.

She lunged, slamming into his stomach. The both of them went sprawling over the edge.

"_No!_" Sam yelled. Angel hooked her arms around Frodo and unfurled her wings. The rising scalding air made it easy for her to get altitude.

"Drop the ring," she snarled. She saw terror in Frodo's eyes, but he held tight. _Idiot, _she thought. She snapped a kick at his hand, but his grip didn't loosen, so she kicked again, harder. She heard his wrist snap and flinched inwardly, but his fingers sprang open, so it did the job well enough.

Angel stared as the ring plummeted and dropped into the river of lava with a barely audible _plop!_ She immediately felt lighter, more free, even though she hadn't been the one carrying it. Then she initiated a strong down stroke and shot back onto solid ground.

"What - ?" Sam began.

"Later," she cut him off, and then pointed behind her. "Run!"

They didn't hesitate. Sam, Angel, and Frodo (cradling his broken wrist) dashed out of the mountain immediately. It was beginning to crumble and small explosions rang out. As they ran down the mountain, the entrance exploded in a blast of lava.

"There!" Sam shouted. The three of them leaped on a boulder that jutted out of the side of the mountain. Immediately they crumpled, gasping for breath, but it wasn't two seconds later when Angel was on her feet again.

She could feel the Nazgul's thoughts ringing out clear. Nazguls seemed to think unnaturally loudly. She had to get back to her rice before the lava incinerated it.

She jumped off, caught air, and zipped down as fast as she could, searching wildly for her jacket, which marked the rice's position. Finally, she spotted it, and dropped down just in time to haul up the sacks of rice and save them from the lava.

Angel scanned the horizon, panting. It took her a moment to re-locate the Nazgul and track where their thoughts were coming from. Back at the black gate. Slowly, she began flying towards there. She suddenly found that she was exhausted. It took longer than it should have to get there. When she did, she reached down and ripped at the string tying the sack's closed with her teeth.

And then she let it rip.

**Max POV**

The heavens were raining doom and gloom on all of us that day.

Oh, don't worry, I'm just joking. I don't do that dramatic crap. But the situation did look pretty dang grim. The moment our little (by little I mean like 3,000 dudes, but there were WAY WAY more on the other team) army marched up to the giant black gates to Mordor, Aragorn started shouting threats ("Dude, don't _provoke _them!") and demanding to see whoever was in charge ("Okay, I know we're not _expecting _to get out alive, but that would be a nice bonus!"). Well, talk about 'be careful what you wish for'. 'In charge' turned out to be a freaky grey-skinned guy with some serious mouth issues. I think I'll call him Mouth.

Oh, yes, I know exactly what you're thinking. And now, with my gift of hindsight and all, I'm kind of worried about my sanity, what with me and Angel having such a similar thought- and nickname-making-up-process.

Yeah.

The mega-weirdness started when we landed, though. Mouth's eyes bulged and he pointed. "Angels! You must know Angel the angel!"

"Angel the angel?" Gazzy frowned. "Wait, is he talking about _Angel _Angel?"

"I think so," I said. "Well, crap. And how, pray tell, do _you _know Angel?"

"The angel came before us to assist in wiping out the likes of _them_," Mouth indicated the rest of the men. Ugh, too many 'angel's.

"Really?" Nudge said. "Like, ew. Who would want to help _you_? At least, until you learned to use moisturizing lotion and a toothbrush."

Gazzy snorted.

"Crap," I said. If Angel was taking sides with this dude, I couldn't help but think we were totally and completely mega-screwed.

Aragorn chose that moment to interrupt. "I have a proposition for you," he said. "Cease your attacks and halt all orc production, and we will leave you in peace."

Mouth stared for a moment, then cautiously began to laugh. "Bring out the army!" he shouted.

The black gates slowly began to swig open further and orcs spilled out of them. A _lot _of orcs. This was the sort of thing that you could only truly appreciate if you lived it. It was scary as hell, and I don't get scared easily.

"Now you will die," said Mouth. "You will die, like those two foolish little halflings."

"Frodo!" Pippin squeaked. "Sam!"

"They begged for mercy as they drew their last breaths," Mouth cackled. Aragorn was trotting up to him, glaring daggers. If looks could kill… "And who are you? A ranger from the North. The line of kings has been long broken. You will never - "

He didn't get to finish his sentence because Aragorn decapitated him.

"Woot!" Nudge shouted. "Suck on _that_, Mr. Lack-of-Oral-Hygiene!"

Aragorn turned and opened his mouth.

"No speech, no speech!" I cried, making slashing motions across my chest. "Just fight!"

The orcs attacked.

Nudge, Gazzy, and I jumped into the air. Nudge immediately started shooting things like crazy. She had a _buttload_ of arrows, I'm telling you, and she was getting dang good with that crossbow. Gazzy and I nipped down and back up again, stabbing things and such.

"Max! Troll!" Gazzy pointed out. Yes, big, big, giant troll, on a rampage. This thing was even bigger and smellier than the one in Moria. Gross. And guess what? Yeah, that's right, it was about to kill Aragorn.

"Fudgemuffins," I muttered, and shot downwards, gathering all my weight and strength into my right side, and then proceeded to dive-bomb the giant hunk of meat.

It hurt like _crap _and all I did was bounce off. The troll did nothing but stumble backwards.

And then… _BOOM! _Suddenly Mr. Troll seemed very unimportant. And apparently to Mr. Troll Aragorn was unimportant, too. Everyone spun to look. The mountain was exploding. I wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, but judging by the fact that all the bad guys were turning tail and making a break for it and all the good guys were grinning, I was guessing something good. I was distracted again by a small figure flitting back and forth in the sky, spraying something on Nazgul that I hadn't noticed were there. Probably because a) it was so freaking loud that I couldn't hear them and b) said small figure was making quick work with them. Whatever it was spraying was making the Nazgul go completely psycho. I swear I saw one spontaneously combust.

_Hi, Max, _Angel thought at me. I jumped.

_Ack! Ange! Are you okay, honey? _I thought back.

_Yeah, totally! These Nazgul guys are so fun to mess with, _I could feel the evil glee coming off in waves from that, but decided not to question it. She was whooping them majorly. _So, yeah, um, we destroyed the Ring… and… Frodo and Sam could probably use a lift._

"Gandalf!" I shouted. "Frodo and Sam need a ride, pronto!" Then I jabbed my thumb at Gazzy and Nudge. "Get on it, I'll be right after you!"

They nodded and sped off in the direction of the mountain. I took one last glance around. Pretty much all the orcs and trolls were running like hell, and all the others were getting severely whooped. I smiled contently. Nothing like a fantastic battle gone good.

Yep, that's right. I totally freaking jinxed it.

"Oof!" Epsilon came out of nowhere, knocking the wind out of me with a well-placed shoulder and sending me sprawling. I was on my feet in an instant, glaring and grinning at the same time. Epsilon pissed me off, but not seeing him made me worry, so I was kind of glad he was showing up now.

In the middle of a battlefield.

With the rest of the Flock gone.

And the rest of the Fellowship occupied.

I cracked my knuckles and aimed a punch at his face. He dodged and elbowed me in the side. I melted into the hit, using the momentum to roll across the ground and bounce off the first person I hit. I unfurled my wings and flipped over him. When I hit the ground, it was his turn to punch me in the face. I caught his wrist and threw him forward onto the ground. Once he was there, I planted my foot on his back and applied pressure.

I'd kind of been running through this in my mind a lot, ever since we last fought. Call me obsessive, but it really helps.

Thoughtfully, Epsilon turned his head to the side. "Interesting. Now I will beat you."

Uh-oh. Don't like the sound of that. He somehow twisted my ankle off and somehow I landed on the ground and somehow got on the receiving end of several slugs. I ripped out my knives and slashed. He jumped to avoid them, then darted forward. When I went to attack him, he blocked my left hand knife and knocked it out of my hand and ducked under the other one. He came out on my other side and grabbed my arm, twisting it behind my back. I fought back a cry of pain as he twisted hard enough to break a normal human's arm. My fingers popped open and I dropped the other knife.

I was getting my ass handed to me. What was happening? I elbowed him in the gut with my other arm, but he was out of range, so I hit him with my wings. Hurts more than you'd think, and his grip slackened, allowing me to pull free. I rubbed my extremely sore shoulder and took off, aiming a kick at his head once I was airborne. He dodged and pulled me to the ground by grabbing my ankle. I managed to stay on my feet, though, and suddenly we both went down in a tangle of fists, feet, and limbs. He came out on top, punching me over and over again in the face. I spat blood out onto his face whenever I got the chance.

_This is ridiculous, _I thought. _I can't believe he's beating me!_

His expression had been completely blank the entire time. He didn't look like he had any sort of emotion at all. He didn't seem to be enjoying hitting me, like most people who had any reason to hit me did, but he didn't look like he didn't want to be doing it, either. He just didn't care.

As Epsilon went in for another sucker punch, his weight was suddenly lifted off me. Through blurry, swollen eyes I squinted at my savior.

"Fang!" I croaked, but he was probably too busy getting whooped by Epsilon to hear me. This guy was seriously good. I groaned and forced myself to my feet, shaking out my limbs, and then entered the fray. Fang seemed alright, probably fully healed, but we were still outmatched. He was stronger and faster than both of us combined pretty soon I found myself fighting Epsilon alone again. I'm not sure where Fang ran off to, but anyways, Epsilon was like a warm-up for what happened next.

He had me pinned against a rock, fist raised, preparing to slam a very final looking blow at my throat, when my eyes found a wisp of cloud, moving fast and against the wind.

Just kidding. This was a whole lot worse than those crab-eyes or whatever from way back when. My eyes bulged. Epsilon frowned, looked me over, and then, deciding it wasn't a trick, cautioned a look. His jaw slackened, and his eyes lit with a fire. Oh boy, an actual reaction out of Mr. Rock! I was seriously proud, like, no joke.

But there were more pressing matters at hand, anyways. Like the giant horde of Erasers flying towards us.


	32. Hatred

**First of all, I am again sorry about the late update. I don't know why I'm suddenly so busy =P**

**Second of all, according to that traffic tracking thing, I have some readers in Japan. I hope you guys are all okay, and your friends and family are okay too. We're all thinking about you.**

**Max POV**

I took advantage of the distraction by pushing Epsilon off the boulder we were perched on, and then I spun around and located Iggy and Fang.

"Erasers!" I shouted.

"_What?_" Iggy shouted back. "I thought they were all _dead_!"

"Apparently not," I heard Fang say. I swooped down to join them.

"They've got guns," I said urgently. "I don't think these guys can deal with guns."

I indicated the army from Rohan and Gondor.

"How many are there?" Iggy demanded.

"At least a hundred. Probably two," I told him. Then I spun around to find Gandalf.

"Yo! Wiz!" I yelled, getting his attention. "If I were you I would _run for it_."

He looked up, saw the Erasers, and pushed towards us. "What are those?" he rumbled.

"Erasers," I explained. "They've got guns. Shields don't really do much with guns."

"There's barely two hundred," Aragorn said, joining us.

"Yeah, but they've got guns. We've been over this," said Iggy as if he were talking to a little kid. "Guns, children, are sort of like bow and arrows, except _not at all_."

"Is that a chopper?" Fang shielded his eyes with his hand. "That's a chopper. They have a chopper."

"Yeah, you guys should run," I said. "In fact, we should all run. We are a little something called screwed."

Angel landed next to us. I hugged her.

"There's a lot of Erasers," she informed us.

"Yeah, we got that," said Iggy. "Hey, Ange."

"Hi, Iggy!"

"Okay, seriously," I said. "Get the army out of here. If the Erasers are going to stay airborne, they're not going to be much help."

"What about you?" Aragorn asked concernedly.

"We'll be okay," I grinned and tried to look confident. "Right, guys? We're good at this stuff."

"Duck!" Angel squeaked. Immediately we all hit the deck. Sure enough, bullets slammed into the rock right behind us where our heads had been.

"We're not going to leave you here, alone," said Legolas, who had joined our little group.

"This is not the time for your dumbtarded 'honorable' crap!" I snapped. "Just listen to me, will you? Okay, so you guys run the hell away, backtrack, hide behind some rocks, and shoot you some arrows. Sound like a plan?"

"Yeah, we can keep them busy that long," Iggy said. "They're stupider than they… well, actually, I don't really know what they look like so I can't say that."

"Just go," said Fang. "We'll have two hobbits for you after we cream them."

Aragorn looked hesitant, but Gandalf nodded briskly and grabbed Aragorn and Legolas by the arms, dragging them away.

"Okay, guys," I said. "You know what to do."

They grinned at me and we took off, flying straight into the onslaught of Erasers. It was only when my fist connected with the first face of the day that I remembered Epsilon. I didn't have time to wonder what he was up to, though, because I was immediately surrounded. They flew at me from all sides, doing whatever they could to beat the living crap out of me, and I did whatever I could to keeping my crap where it belonged.

Machine gun fire tore through the air, not much caring where it was aimed. I saw that it was from the chopper. There was a gunner in there, and he was spraying bullets wherever a Flock member was close by. When a bullet whizzed past my face, clipping my ear and causing me to start bleeding pretty gosh darn hard, I realized that chopper needed to be taken out.

As I flew up to it, I knew I'd have to be careful. One misstep – er, misflap – and I'd be sucked into the propellers and sliced to itty bits. I darted below the chopper, weaving in and out of Erasers to get there, and gripped a convenient groove before pulling my wings in. I dangled there a second, then started swinging my body back and forth until I got enough momentum to awkwardly hook my right leg inside the chopper. I had to move fast after that, or I'd get my leg shot off. I swung all my weight forward and let go with my hands, risking one flap to push myself up and over. I careened right into the back of the gunner, and one kick later he had toppled over the side.

The gun was heavy, but it was no match for my bird kid muscles, so with one mighty heave I ripped it off of its stand and chucked it off the side. As you probably know, I'm a firm believer in not-guns and so I wasn't planning on using it. It shattered on impact with the ground.

"Hey!" roared the pilot. I turned to face him and raised my bloody fists and an axe-murderer crazy look on my face. I think I saw him flinch in fear, but that could just be my skyrocketing adrenaline and ever-expanding ego speaking. Anyways, I threw the pilot through the windshield and set the chopper on a collision course with the black gates before hopping back out and rejoining the fray. I did a quick 360 to see that Nudge and Gazzy were back, along with a couple giant eagles (wtf? Where did _that _come from?) in tow, and Sam and Frodo seemed to be out like lights on the ground, completely being ignored by the raging battle above. Nudge and a nice-sized gash across her arm and Iggy had two fantastic black eyes, but other than that there was nothing other than normal cuts and scrapes. We were all holding our own fairly well.

Suddenly, in the midst of the chaos, my ear drums popped with the sound of an explosion and I was blasted sideways. I slammed into a gaggle of Erasers and took that opportunity to crack two of their heads together and sock another one in the mouth. Then I took to time to figure out _what the heck just happened._

What I saw was pretty self-explanatory. Gazzy and Iggy gave victorious _WHOOP!_s and high fived each other. Wires and batteries spilled out of their hands and pockets.

"Did you seriously just…" I muttered. "_Be more careful next time, you dolts! _You almost killed me!"

What I was really thinking was: how the heck did they make a bomb in that short of a timeframe? Those kids are seriously gifted. Actually, gifted isn't the word. More like 'freaky'.

They set to work making more bombs, all the while fending off rabid Erasers, and I was swept up into the battle again.

And then I did pretty much _the _stupidest thing _ever_. Of all time. Well, maybe not that bad, but I mean, seriously? What was I thinking?

So, I basically landed. On the ground. I didn't _land _land, but my boots skimmed the earth, and that was enough. Epsilon launched himself at me out of nowhere and yanked me down. I hit the ground with a _thud _that successfully knocked the wind out of me, and I came up gasping. I didn't have time to get my breath back, though, because Epsilon attacked me again immediately. I blocked his fist as it careened towards my face, but he nabbed me in the stomach and slammed me against a boulder, his hand pushing against my neck. I gasped for air.

"It would take no effort at all to kill you right now," he said. His face was still expressionless, like it was carved out of stone – no, steel. "A swift jab to your jugular and it would be all over. But…"

He pulled a gun from his belt. It was battered and too-big, obviously a secondhand from some long taken out Eraser. I glared at him. Did he think a quick death wouldn't be satisfying enough? Maybe this guy really did feel something. Maybe he wanted to make me pay for not dying yet, and maybe he thought death by gunfire would be more painful or something.

Then, without unlocking his eyes from mine, he pointed the gun behind him – with his _left hand! _This guy was obviously right handed (you figure these things out pretty easily in a fight) – and fired off a single shot. There was a yelp of pain. I managed to look past his buzz cut to see Nudge drop like a stone.

"Nudge!" I choked out, but it was barely recognizable as a word. My lungs were starving for oxygen. I saw Fang racing to catch her before she hit the ground, but I wasn't sure if he made it, because Epsilon pressed his hand against my neck even harder, cracking my head against the rock. I glared at him, my eyes stinging. I could barely feel my limbs. They were numb. But he had _shot Nudge_. That could not go unpunished.

"Ugh!" I grunted, using every ounce of strength I had to nail him in the balls. Well, looks like I now know the place to hit that will get me a reaction. His face screwed up in pain and he loosened his grip. I took advantage of that and grabbed his wrist, twisting his arm behind his back. I brought my knee up into his stomach, then, and sent him sprawling to the ground.

My chest was heaving and my heart was pounding so hard I'm sure they could hear it back on regular Earth. I felt dizzy and spots danced before my vision, but I forced myself to ignore it. Adrenaline shot through my veins and I'm pretty sure my eyes were red with anger. I snapped a kick in Epsilon's face and got a satisfying burst of blood from his nose. Then I shoved my heel onto his throat and pressed down. Let's see how _you _like being strangled, jerk.

"You're good," I rasped. My throat was raw. I would have a nasty bruise. "But no matter what, I would have beat you, same as with Omega. You wanna know why?"

No reaction, of course.

"Because I hate you," I told him. "You mess with my Flock. I have a personal vendetta against you. You're just trying to kill me because you have to. You don't hate me, even though I hurt you. Even though I could kill you. Because they stripped you of your emotions. That's why you were always going to lose."

Just then, the whistle of hundreds of arrows splitting the air rang out and at least thirty Erasers bit it in an instant. When round two came, though, they were ready. Still, more dropped like flies. Looks like backup was here.

"I am going to leave you here," I said to Epsilon, turning away from the spectacle. "And I am going to check on Nudge. If she is seriously hurt, I will kill you. You know why? Because I will hate you even more."

I used my other foot to break his left leg and his right ankle, so he wouldn't be getting up any time soon. Even during that, he barely flinched, though I could see sweat spring up on his forehead. It hurts like crap to break a bone, and I wasn't being gentle. Then I spat on his face and unfurled my wings. They flapped and I rose off of him I wasted no time getting down to Nudge.

"Is she okay?" I knelt next to Fang.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Epsilon got her wing."

"I – I'm okay," Nudge said, gritting her teeth against the pain. I smiled proudly and ruffled her hair. My little soldier. The wound looked painful and bloody, but Fang was already attending to it and it looked like the bullet had gone clean through, which was a good thing.

"Okay," I said. "I'm going to go kill Epsilon now. But I'll be right back, okay, sweetie?"

Nudge nodded weakly and I flew back up to where I'd left Epsilon, only to find that he was –

Gone.

Oh, that's just fantastic. After conducting a quick search, I came to the conclusion that he was completely _not there_, as in, possibly a mile away. I couldn't even smell him.

I alighted back down by Fang and Nudge. Iggy and Gazzy were still busy making wolf men spontaneously combust.

"Okay, I snapped his legs like twigs, but he still somehow managed to ditch," I said. "I'm sorry I won't be able to exact bloody vengeance for you, Nudge."

"It's okay," she said. "Legs snapped like twigs are good enough for me."

I took a quick look around and saw that the medieval portion of our little group was doing better than expected. There were less than thirty Erasers left in the sky. But judging by the lack of arrows flying through the air, they were clean out.

"I'm going to go help Ig and Gaz with the last of these guys," I said. "Fang, under no circumstances are you to leave Nudge. Got it?"

Fang nodded and I flew back up into the fray. I caught sight of Angel fighting this big, muscular thing and breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't seen her in a while.

With the crashing of exploding bombs and the kick-buttiness of me and Ange, we finished the Erasers off without much trouble. I turned to Iggy, Gazzy, and Angel.

"Go get Frodo and Sam to the rest of them," I commanded. "If you guys aren't strong enough to lug their sorry butts around, just grab Gimli or something. He's always talking about how buff he is."

"Okay," they nodded and sped off.

Fang had bound Nudge's wound with the clothes off his own back, leaving him shirtless. I tried to look past the obvious mega-hotness to assess his whole 'I got stabbed' situation, but there was barely a scar where the blade had gone through, and that scar would probably be gone by tomorrow.

How weird is that? I mean, seriously?

"Alrighty dighty, gang," I smiled. "Let's head back."


	33. Tales of Minas Tirith

**I'm soooo sorry for making you wait! You probably hate me now. I take like twenty years to update and all you get is a little filler… D:**

**But I really had to write this, especially after watching the Avatar episode 'Tales of Ba Sing Se', if anyone knows that show.**

**The Tale of Total**

The war was over. Even though he already knew that was going to happen, Total was still extremely relieved. Wars weren't exactly the funnest way to spend your time.

He'd started hanging out with Eowyn a lot. She was cool, unlike most of the other chicks in this place, but not some sort of psychotic lean mean fighting machine like Max. A healthy balance. Unfortunately, she was also injured, and so he spent most of his time keeping her company in that god awful 'hospital' thing. Even though it was as far from a modern hospital as a tadpole is from a frog, it still totally freaked him out.

Merry also liked to chill with Eowyn, so the three of them mostly stayed in their little hole and kept Eowyn from killing herself. With the death of her uncle, Aragorn rejecting her, and the fact that she was cooped up in that god awful room, she was beginning to display slightly suicidal tendencies.

All of that changed, however, on a fateful spring morning. The sun was high, the birds were chirping, and when Total and Merry trudged into Eowyn's room, she wasn't there.

"Maybe she jumped off a cliff," Total yawned.

"Maybe she's getting food," Merry suggested.

"Maybe she got a hold of one of those guns Gasser and Iggy just _had _to bring back."

"Maybe she's by the fountain."

"Maybe she decided she wanted to kill more things."

"Maybe she wanted to get a drink!"

"Of what? 100% alcohol?"

"Don't be such a cynic, Total, she's probably - " Merry broke off. "Oh dear, look out the window."

The hobbit picked the dog up and held him in front of the window. He was very happy about this because usually other people were picking _him _up so _he _could see things. It was nice to mix it up a little.

Total peeked over the window sill. In the garden, he could see two people. They were situated on a stone bench below a tree. One of them was Eowyn, and the other looked vaguely familiar, but Total couldn't quite put his paw on him. As they watched, the two people lapsed into laughter.

"That's Lord Faramir," Merry whispered. "Pippin talks about him sometimes."

"Maybe they've hooked up," Total grinned mischievously.

"What does that mean?"

"Maybe they're going out. Dating? Ugh, what do you say here – courting?"

"Courting?" realization dawned on Merry's face, and he smiled just as evilly as the small dog.

Eowyn and Faramir scooted up closer to each other. Eowyn whispered in Faramir's ear. He whispered something to her, too, and she blushed.

Merry and Total sniggered shamelessly.

Faramir leaned forward and pecked Eowyn on the cheek. Total pretended to gag. Then Eowyn grabbed him by the hair and started a full-on make-out session.

"…" said Merry.

"Well," said Total.

"This is awkward," said Merry.

"Do you want to leave now?" Total asked.

"Yes, please."

They winced one last time and then dashed from the room.

**The Tale of Nudge**

Nudge was having a hay day.

What, did you expect something else? Well, consider this: fashion-obsessed eleven year old + tons of crazy dresses + way too much time on her hands = ?

Yeah, that's right, a fashion show.

She enlisted the help of Narissa, who spent several hours running around according to Nudge's whim to get different dresses. Needless to say, the maid got quite the workout.

"Okay, when I was little I was totally _in love _with the whole neat peasant dress thing, right? I'm thinking my wings would go _great _with something brown," she said, looking at herself in the mirror. "These poofy sleeves? They don't really do it for me, you know?"

"Yes, m'lady," Narissa was actually enjoying this, believe it or not. Although she loved Lady Max and was many times in her debt for saving her brother, the leader of the Flock sometimes intimidated her. She was so… robust? Also, the fact that she reacted so strongly against being called 'miss' or 'my lady' was unnerving. She'd never met a lady like that before. Nudge was a refreshing change of pace.

"This is more like it!" Nudge said, twirling around in her dress. It was very simple, with a leather waist, white sleeves, and cream-colored skirts, but the leather did precisely match the tawny color of Nudge's wings, and the cream-color could have been taken from the paler flecks in the feathers with an eyedropper from the image editing program of your choice.

"Very beautiful, my Lady," Narissa nodded.

"I can't wait to show Max!" Nudge squealed. "Oh, she'll _love _it!"

_Not likely, _Narissa thought, laughing quietly.

"Yes, my Lady."

**The Tale of Angel**

Angel had spent hours wandering around on her own, thinking, and taking in the sights of Minas Tirith. Even after a crazy battle, it was pretty.

Sam and Frodo had been pretty pissed when they found out about the whole mind control thing (understandable). The rest of the Flock were all busy elsewhere (lame), and Angel felt like she hadn't gotten to know the rest of the Fellowship well enough to hold a conversation amounting to much more than 'Hi' 'How are you' 'Fine, how are you' 'Fine' 'Well, bye then' 'Yeah, nice seeing you'.

She was trudging along when she was yanked off the street by a pair of hands.

"Oh, she's _adorable_!" there were three young women, maybe twenty five, standing over her and squealing with joy. Angel stuck out her upper lip.

"Who're you?" she asked. The three women practically seemed to melt.

"D'aaaw," one of them said.

"Look at these gorgeous curls," another cooed, twirling a finger in her hair. "They are like spun gold! She _must _be Rohirric."

Angel got the point. And she decided to play along. She smiled as sweetly as possible.

"I lost my teddy bear, Celeste," she said. "Can you help me find her?"

In truth, Celeste had been lost somewhere in the Dead Marshes, but hey, what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Oh, of course!" said the third woman. "What does your bear look like, honey?"

"She's brown, _thiiiiiis _big, wears a pink dress, and has a gold halo, like this," said Angel, illustrating sizes and such with her arms.

"Well, let's start searching," decided one of the women. "And if we cannot find Celeste, I believe I saw a little bear matching that description in a store window."

"We can make an adventure out of it!" said another one. She grabbed Angel's hand in hers and started skipping down the street, giggling and grinning at Angel. The other two followed. Angel thought they were complete idiots. Totally stupid.

But… at the same time, she hadn't been treated like this – like a real little seven year old girl with seven year old needs – since the Flock had been driven out of their home in the mountains.

It was… nice.

**The Tale of Fang & Nirin**

Fang was bored. Nudge was having a fashion show (please, no), Total was hanging out with his new best friends (weird), Angel had wandered off somewhere (probably to enslave the entire city or something), the other Fellowship were all dealing with political crap (boring) and Iggy and Gazzy had disappeared (he wouldn't be surprised if the entire lower level spontaneously combusted sometime in the next ten minutes). That left Max. Where was she? They needed to talk. They hadn't talked in a while. Not a healthy relationship technique – especially not for them. Their lives were too crazy to keep secrets.

He rounded a corner and found himself in front of her room. Being the gentleman he was, he knocked once, but opened the door without waiting for a response.

"Max?" he called. No reply. _I guess she's not home._

He shut the door behind him and walked back the way he'd come. As he turned the corner, though, his genetically enhanced hearing picked up the shuffling of footsteps. He paused, curious. This part of the castle was reserved mostly for Fellowship members. They were all busy, as far as he knew. He peeked around the corner and blinked at what he saw. Nirin was there. He knocked hesitantly on the door a few times, and when he got no response, pulled a note out of his jacket pocket and slid it under the door.

Fang didn't like the look of that. He stepped into view.

"Hey," he said. Nirin jumped, turning to face Fang, then looked away guiltily. He didn't like the look of that, either.

"Oh… hello, Lord Fang. It is a surprise to see you here," said Nirin.

"You know, if you want to tell Max something, I can carry a message," said Fang, ignoring him.

"Well, you see, this is something that is meant for Lady Max's eyes only…" Nirin sputtered. Fang sighed and pushed past him, opening the door.

"Ah! No!" Nirin tried to stop him from picking the letter up, but failed miserably. Humans generally have problems keeping up with genetically altered mutant freaks.

Wordlessly, Fang unrolled the parchment and eyed it with curiosity. The script was flowing and loopy, like cursive on steroids, so it took a while for the message to get through. Finally, he folded it up and put it in his pocket.

"Some advice," he said. "Firstly, Max doesn't respond well to wooing. Or poetry. Also, I don't think she would be smart enough to read that. I know I barely am. Secondly, she thinks you're annoying and clingy. Thirdly, she's taken, so back off."

He barely had time to register Nirin's stunned expression or quavering upper lip, because he turned and stalked off immediately. The kid soldier didn't see Fang's evil, amused, smirk.

**The Tale of Max (Well, more like The Tale of Fax)**

Okay, so I was just walking along, minding my own business, when Nirin ran in front of me, his face buried in the crook of his arm. The stifled sniffing sounds gave me the daunting suspicion that he was crying.

"Hey, dude, wait up," I called after him. He froze, removed the arm from his face, and turned to me.

"Yes, Lady Max?" he said stiffly.

"You okay?" I asked. "You look kinda… I dunno, upset. Or something."

His face twisted into an expression conveying both anger and sadness. He shook his head and stomped off. I stared after him.

"Well, that was weird," I said out loud.

"Not really," said a voice behind me. I turned to see Fang walking my way. He held up a scroll so I could see. "Read this. I think I broke him, squashing his dreams like that."

I took the scroll and read its contents. It took a little while. I'm not a fantastic reader, first of all – I don't get many chances to practice, and I'm practically self-taught since Jeb left so early. Also, the handwriting was funky and the words were all about a foot long.

"Bleh," I stuck out my tongue and held the scroll between my thumb and pinky finger.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

"Oh, just that you weren't really the kind of girl who dug poetry. Especially not _that _kind of poetry," Fang said.

I stepped a little closer to him. "Is that really even poetry?" I asked. "It doesn't rhyme."

"Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, oh wise one," he told me, and stepped closer to _me. _Now we were pressed up against each other, all romantic-like. He tugged a strand of my hair playfully.

"That's annoying," I said. "These literary folks need to work on being more consistent."

"I thought consistency was dangerous," his eyes flashed.

"It is," I said. "But the pen is mightier than the sword and all that."

He reached down and kissed me. And let me tell you, Fang is a good kisser. I hope I'm on par with him. "Mm, I'll take that over poetry any day."

And so that is how I turned into a total freak. I mean, mushy-gushy romantic smooching? I can't believe myself. But, you know, there's always that special someone. And the Voice _has _told me we're soul mates…

_Just keep telling yourself that, _I scolded myself. Out loud I said "I love you."

"I love you, too."

**The Tale of Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Eomer, and some crumbling old dudes**

"Legolas, if you are as skilled as you seem to think you are with that bow of yours, kindly use it to shoot me," said Aragorn.

"You have been hanging out with Max too often," Legolas said. "You're picking up the sarcasm. It's unhealthy."

" 'Hanging out'?" Gimli snorted. "I believe that's one of the bird children's phrases. You're one to talk, elf."

"My point is, this is so boring I think I might die," Aragorn interjected.

"Ssh, don't talk like that in front of _them_," Eomer hissed. "We'll be killed for sure."

The four of them had been captured by the Council of Elders (Minas Tirith apparently had a whole group dedicated to crumbling old men making decisions about things they had no clue about. Who knew?) and were being forced to sit in on this unbearably dull meeting. It made sense that Eomer should attend, him being about to take over as king of Rohan, and even more sense for Aragorn to be there, too, since he would be ruler of the country said crumbling old men inhabited, but Gimli and Legolas had been bullied into coming along. Merry and Pippin both had alibies with certain other members of royal and noble families, Frodo had pled weakness from injury, Sam had claimed he had to stay with his master, and the Flock had all mysteriously (and conveniently) disappeared at an early hour. That left the elf and the dwarf, and after so much failure, Aragorn and Eomer weren't about to take no for an answer.

"What is your opinion, my Lord Elessar?" asked one crumbling old man. Aragorn, who hadn't been paying attention (and also wasn't used to being called that - honestly, how many nicknames must one man have?), took a moment to react and respond. Then, he cast a look around the table. His eyes fell upon a particularly stuffy-looking crumbling old man. Aragorn pointed at him.

"I agree with him," he said firmly.

"But my Lord, I haven't suggested anything," said the stuffy-looking one coolly.

"Ah," said Aragorn as Gimli drowned his laughter in the tub of ale he was drinking. It was Eomer who came to Aragorn's rescue.

"Excuse me, good sirs, but nature calls and I must answer," he said, sounding as aloof as physically possible. He pulled back his chair, bowed, and left.

"Well, back to the subject of materials to be used in the constructing of staircases…" a crumbling old man began, but he was cut off. The door was thrown open and Eomer stood in its frame, his face a ghostly white. Aragorn started. What had happened to scare his friend so much?

"My Lords Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli must come with me _now_," he said harshly and urgently in a manner that suggested if any of the stuffy old men objected they would have their heads ripped off. Worried, Aragorn jumped to his feet and followed Eomer out the door, Legolas and Gimli hot on his heels.

"What's the matter?" he asked once the door had swung closed. Eomer pressed a finger to his lips and kept on striding down the hallway, the elf, dwarf, and man following quickly. Then he pulled them into a side door, shut the door, and burst out laughing.

"I guess those wise old Councilmen aren't so wise after all!" he boomed. "Or maybe I'm just too smart for them!"

"Whatever you say, lad," Gimli grumbled. "I left my ale behind, you stinking pile of dung."

"You were _faking_?" Legolas was totally horrified. The thought of breaking rules frankly made him want to wet his pants.

"Not very kingly of you, _Lord Eomer_," said Aragorn in his best attempt at being stern.

"Not very kingly of you to go along with it," Eomer countered. "Of course, you can always go back in there, if you'd like."

All three of them thought on that for a second.

"I saw an excellent looking pub on my way here," Gimli said finally.

"You drink too much," said Legolas.

"I think we need to have an intervention, Gimli," said Aragorn, and then they left for the pub.

**The Tale of Frodo (and Max + a little cameo thing from Fang)**

Frodo liked Sam, he really did, but after spending months on end with one person, it started to get irritating. He needed some space, or at least a change in company. So he'd claimed that nature called to him and ditched his gardener. Just for the day.

The first person he stumbled across was Max. Seeing her face, flushed and elated, made him think about his conversation with the Lady of the Wood. After several life-or-death experiences, he now felt bold enough to talk to her about their foretold similar destinies.

"Max?" he called hesitantly. She turned to face him, a wide smile on her face.

"Yup?" she replied.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Sure thing, midget boy," she said. She seemed to be in a good mood. Frodo wondered why.

They walked out to a balcony. Max jumped up and sat on the railing, but Frodo just leaned against it. He couldn't fly, and he didn't want to fall. It would be such a waste to die after all he'd been through.

"So what's up?" she chirped. It was actually scary how cheerful she was.

"'msorryifthisisintrusive," said Frodo as quickly. Max blinked.

"Uh, no comprende," she said. "Care to repeat that?"

He did, a bit slower. Her expression immediately began to darken and Frodo feared he might be about to get beaten up.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood, midget kid," she said. He would have pointed out that he was in fact much older than her if he hadn't been so scared. "Otherwise I would beat you up."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "But… I just need to know."

She frowned. "It's not my favorite subject to talk about seriously. Some joking I can do, but I never signed up for this saving the world gig, and it kind of pisses me off."

"I can relate," Frodo nodded.

"Not really," said Max. "You volunteered, back in Rivendell. I'm not downplaying your 'mega-skilled' jewelry killing experience, but I was literally created to save the world. That's the only reason I exist. If the world was sunshine and daisies, I wouldn't be alive.'

"But surely your parents still would have - "

"No," she cut him off. "My parents were never in love. I don't even consider my dad my 'dad'. They both just donated cells. Then Jeb made me. To save the world."

"From what?" Frodo asked quietly. "What happens to your world when you're not there?"

"I don't know, that's just it," Max threw her arms up in the air exasperatedly. Then she hooked her legs around the railing and swung backwards through thin air, hanging upside down. After a few moments, she righted herself. "Apparently the world's in mortal peril, but I've already saved it once or twice, I'm pretty sure. But people are still telling me I have to save the world. So what's worse than the mutating of humans and animals? What's worse than the By-Half plan? What the hell do I have to stop?"

"Maybe you'll get lucky and it will be an apocalypse caused by teddy bears," Frodo hadn't even noticed Fang standing in the doorway.

"With our luck? Yeah, right," Max snorted. "And what are you doing, eavesdropper?"

"Just - " the male avian/human hybrid's sentence was cut short by an explosion down below. Frodo's eyes widened and he spun around. Right outside the boundaries of the city, a plume of smoke rose from a mushroom-shaped ball of fire.

**The Tale of Iggy & Gazzy**

Iggy and the Gasman stood staring (well, Gazzy was staring), faces blackened with soot. In front of them was a healthily proportioned crater.

"That was…" Iggy began.

"Totally _wicked_!" Gazzy finished. They jumped up and high-fived. It was eerie how good Iggy's aim was.

Their good humor didn't last, though, because a minute later a fuming Max landed. Her mood had been slowly deteriorating since her make-out session with Fang, and now she looked furious. She rolled her sleeves up and clenched her fists. It was at that moment that Iggy and Gazzy knew they were about the be on the receiving end of a punishment much worse than anything Sauron could cook up.


	34. Finale

**Fun authors note at the end :O READ IT!**

_**THE FINALE**_

**ITEX**

Tessorori tore his eyes away from the sleeping – unconscious, out, drugged? – form of his mutated son to face the Director.

"Looks like your precious Epsilon failed," she said, somehow in a mixture between a snarl and a calm yet angry drawl.

"The Erasers did, too," said Werner disappointedly. "Damn! I thought I'd programmed the one with the turret to be more, I dunno, proactive."

"Do you have any idea what that word means?" Kidd asked.

Tessorori looked down at the line of Erasers, strapped to gurneys as well. There were only a few, one for each job. There was a pilot, a gunner, a commander, and a pawn. The neural transformers had been programmed to multiply their numbers.

"Couldn't ve have made _more _of zese creatures?" Ter Borcht prodded an Eraser with his pencil and grimaced.

"It would cause an overload of the system," Tessorori shook his head. "We were maxed out already."

"Not to mention their brains would probably be fried from too much separation," Diesel added. "Not that it would matter."

"Well, it'd be a pity to waste any specimens," Werner reasoned. "They cost good money."

"Stop it with the excuses," the Director snapped. "Just admit it. You guys failed. Miserably. You were entrusted to this experiment, and you goofed. Would you rather be fired or assassinated? Take your pick."

"You're joking, right?" Jackson giggled nervously. "She's kidding, right?"

"The experiment didn't _fail_," Tessorori said. "We learned a lot about the failed experiments. I'm starting to think they aren't such failures after all."

"Are you crazy, guido?" the Director asked bluntly. "I take it back. You get no choice. Assassination it is."

"Just listen," Tessorori said. "I'm not saying in their current state they're any good, because they're not. They're obviously a threat to us and to the world. But with a little brain tweaking, it could work. Their clones all failed because they have no experience and they started to have identity crises - "

"But the original group are for the most part flawlessly designed, except the blind one of course, they're off-the-charts smart, and even the youngest has more life and combat experiments than most other models combined," Diesel finished.

"This experiment wasn't about the avians," the Director reminded them. "It was about Epsilon."

"Maybe the avians could become the new Epsilons," Kidd suggested. "Again, with a little tweaking. The clone idea was a good one, but Max II was far too soft, far too weak."

The Director paused for a while.

"I won't be increasing funding of this," she said slowly. "You're going to have to make do with what you've got."

"Yes!" Werner fist pumped. "No assassination for me, oh no siree! Hey, that rhymes!"

"You have two months, tops," she finished coolly. "Don't disappoint me, or I will be testing those new recombinant platyrrehines on you. Agreed?"

"Agreed," said the whitecoats in unison.

**Max**

The day of Aragorn's coronation was sunny and warm. It was also smelly. In the movies they don't really portray the whole poor-people-are-stinky thing, but it's true. They don't really get to bathe that often and it's not a very nice aroma. Not that the Flock will be winning any awards for cleanliness, but we're six people. Even the fifteen ick-icks of the Fellowship weren't that bad. But there were hundreds – _thousands _of people at the coronation, and the BO was almost overwhelming to my bird kid senses.

But anyways, let's not dwell on the negative. It was a beautiful day, the birds were chirping, the people seemed relatively happy, Gazzy and Iggy hadn't blown anything up in three whole days, and Nudge was completely healed. Of course, there are always some negatives.

"How long until it _starts?"_ the Gasman whined for the gazillionth time. I sighed.

"I don't know, Gasser," I said testily. I as then struck with a brilliant plan. "Look, how about I go ask!" Without waiting for a reply, I turned and leaped into the sky. Luckily we were close to the aisle, being honored guests and all, so I had room to take off. I ignored the gasps and squeals from below me, and turned my head long enough to shout "Fang's in charge!"

I bet Fang hates me now. LOL!

I darted up towards the palace, so as to convince my Flock of my intentions, and then circled back around and settled myself down among the crowds. Ah, here in the land of peasants it smelled even riper. Lovely. Slowly, a hush began to gather over the crowd. I stood on tip-toe and was able to see over everyone's heads pretty easily. Way back when everyone suffered from malnutrition and therefor were mostly short, so I was at an advantage. It wasn't exactly a clear view, but I could see Gandalf, Gimli, and Aragorn standing there.

"Now come the days of the king!" Gandalf said loudly, clearly, then muttered something and placed a crown on Aragorn's head. It glinted, silver, in the sunlight. He turned, nervous, but beaming, to face the crowd, which became unnaturally hushed. He took a deep breath. There was a "WOOP!" that I'm pretty sure came from either Gazzy or Iggy, and then he began.

"This day does not belong to one man, but to all. Let us together rebuild this world, so that we may share these days of peace," he said.

_Great speech, _I thought sarcastically. Honestly, does that even count? Speeches are supposed to be so long you can't even think afterwards.

All the same, the audience erupted into applause, and I guess I wouldn't have done any better on front of mobs of people. I imagined what my acceptance speech would be like at my coronation.

_"Yo, everyone. Max here. This is, you know, cool. Especially since apparently I'm incorruptible. I guess that means I'll be a pretty decent leader. So. Brush and floss every day, live long and prosper, peace in the Middle East. Well, Middle Earth, I guess, since this is… oh, never mind."_

…yeah.

Well, so I was feeling happy (and proud. I'm such a loser mother hen that I have motherly feelings towards people decades older than me. Fail) when he just had to go and ruin it with a song. And let me tell you, that guy should not be a singer. It was in elvish, translated into Medieval language, so I won't even bother trying to relay it to you. I'd butcher it, plain and simple.

Rose petals floated out of the sky from nowhere and showered the audience as Aragorn walked down the aisle. Out of my view, something happened, and then the crowd positively came alive with cheers. I pushed myself off of someone's shoulder to get a look and saw that Aragorn was making out with someone… who was it? Oh yeah, that elf chick from before… Wren? Arwen, that's it.

_They grow up so fast, _said the Voice.

_Oh yeah, I'm totally tearing up, you know, _I agreed somewhat sarcastically, and then registered what it had just said. The Voice had absolutely no sense of humor so that one had gone right over my head. _Wait, did you just make fun of me?_

_ Anything's possible, _the Voice reasoned.

"Well, hot damn, don't they make a purdy couple," said a voice (not _the _Voice) from beside me.

"Uh-huh," I agreed, and glanced to my side.

Then my brain started to work.

That voice. It was familiar. One more look. That _face _was familiar, too.

"_Boromir?_" I hissed. "What the hell! You're dead, man! And why are you talking all weirdly! Or normally, or whatever."

Well, I guess anything _is _possible.

"Well, the wizard came back to life, why can't I, too?" said Boromir casually. And then, "Dang, that guy really shouldn't become a singer."

"You're joking!" I threw my hands up in the air. "Doesn't _anyone _die here? What's the point of killing a character off if you're just gonna bring 'em back a sequel or two later?"

"Don't ask me, it's your brain," he shrugged.

"Wait, what?" I said, but my attention was drawn by something else. People were screaming panicked screams. My heart jumped into my throat. Something was happening. I shoved a few people aside and saw that there were more than just two people in the aisle. Apart from the lovebirds there was a giant wolf with a slavering maw and a familiar scar over its right eye.

"Ari!" I gasped. How could he be alive? He's dead! "You're dead!"

"So am I," Boromir reminded me.

"But I don't care about you!" I snapped.

"Miss me, Maxi?" Ari snarled. There was something up. He wasn't normal. He was like he was before, before he died. Evil.

I was interrupted from my stewing angsty thoughts by a loud voice in my ear. Another familiar person, this time very vaguely so, was standing next to me, shouting.

"Hello!" he yelled. "Billy Mays here to sell you OxiClean!"

"_What?_" I shoved him away. "You're dead, too! And I don't know you! Fang, get over here!"

I spotted him from across the crowd, looking just as confused as me. Suddenly, someone burst into an extremely accurate acapella version of Beat It by…

You've gotta be kidding me.

Prancing down the aisle, in all his sequined, girly, white glory, was, yep, you guessed it, Michael Jackson.

_Ooookay, this is all a bit too weird for me, _I thought.

_I have to say I'm thoroughly stumped on this one, _the Voice admitted.

I pushed my way towards the aisle, crossed it, knocked aside some more people.

"Fang! Ig! Nudge!" I shouted. "Gasser! Angel!"

I couldn't find them. They'd disappeared. They were… _gone_.

My head was spinning. I was dizzy, sick, confused. I wanted to scream. I unfurled my wings and shot into the sky.

And then I woke up.

**X**

**BECAUSE I CAN.**

** Oooh, cliffy. And guess what? IT'S OVER! Ouch, I suck, don't I? Don't expect the sequel to surface for a couple weeks, Imma plan this one out a little so hopefully I can release chapters faster. I'll put a new chapter up on this story once I've finished, so you don't have to Author Alert me if you don't want to.**

** But. You know.**

** Oh, and I REALLY REALLY **_**REALLY **_**want some critique on this story in general. Flames are cool, even. I don't want to screw up the sequel. That seems to happen a lot. I want to make the sequel even **_**better **_**– but I can't do that without knowing what you guys want to see from it. So yeah. Review! Thankyousomuch to everyone who has been reading :3 I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**BY THE WAY, I might post some other unrelated fanfics that I've been sort of working on whenever this one wouldn't come… so check them out if you have a chance. Writing this got me on a kind of Tolkein kick, so don't be surprised if there are a couple LOTR ones… ahem…**

**Stay tuned B) Love ya'!**

**Tex out ~**


	35. Sequel :D

**The sequel to 'A Ring of Wings' has been posted! Thanks for your patience – took longer than I thought =P**

**Ciao ~**


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